


Unplanned Falling

by minchanted



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bang Chan & Seo Changbin are Best Friends, Blindfolds, Bottom Bang Chan, Chan is besties with Felix and Jisung too, Chef Felix, Dom Lee Minho | Lee Know, Drama, Explicit Sex, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Heavy Angst, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Minho | Lee Know are Best Friends, Hyung Kink, Jealousy, Lee Know is nervous, M/M, Matthew has a role too, Minho is besties with Seungmin too, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rich Hwang Hyunjin, Rich Lee Minho | Lee Know, Side Seungjin, Smut, Strangers to Friends, Strangers to Lovers, Submissive Bang Chan, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Lee Minho | Lee Know, YoungK makes an appearance, dark hair chan, help how did this end up being 100k, jilix gets together later, lots of smut, minchan, red hair minho, there is so much fluff later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:47:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 115,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24587086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minchanted/pseuds/minchanted
Summary: Minho was one of the richest young men in the city who despised relationships and did not believe in them. Chan was a broke workaholic who used to want someone to love, giving up when he never got the connection he wanted. When fate brought them together for a night, they only expected a one-night stand. If only they knew that one night could change their lives.Or an AU where Minchan goes from strangers to friends… with benefits.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 412
Kudos: 729





	1. Chapter 1

It all started when his friends dragged him out to a club on a Friday night.

“C’mon Channie…” Jisung had whined, clutching onto his arm. “You are always working so hard.” He complained.

That was true, Chan never had time for himself, always engrossing himself in his work. Chan worked as a secretary for a boss who was always demanding way too much from him. He had to deal with a numerous phone calls, plan the everyday schedule for his boss and even make sure the other workers are doing their job. This was not a job Chan wanted, however he decided to stick with it for the salary, which was not great, but it was not bad either. Chan’s passion lied in music, he was always writing down lyrics, or composing songs when he had some free time. However, he never had the courage to release his work, his music just lying in his laptop. Needless to say, Chan did not have time to have night outs.

“Yeah mate,” Felix agreed, nodding his head vigorously. “You need to get some fresh air.”

“Besides, how long had it been since you got laid?” Changbin added to the conversation. “Be careful, you might get your virginity back.” He chuckled annoyingly.

Jisung, Changbin and Felix had been his friends since they were children, playing in the same playground together. They all had different personalities but somehow, they managed to become the best of friends through the years, and even ended up going to the same schools and universities.

They were all crowded on his bed in his small flat and have been trying to force him to have a fun night out.

Chan preferred to stay within the confines of his room, however looking at the eager eyes of his friends, he could not find it in himself to say no.

“Argh…Fine.” Chan agreed, not completely liking the idea.

However, the look of excitement on his friends’ faces were enough to set a smile on his own.

Felix started fussing over him, putting some makeup and eyeliner on him ( _“We have to enhance your beautiful features, Channie.”)_

Jisung rummaged through his wardrobe, looking for something that looked club worthy to wear, looking up at Chan dissatisfied, after a while.

“Chan, do you own only black clothes?”

Changbin just sat on the bed, throwing a pillow at them, creating chaos and snickering at them all.

After almost an hour, Felix and Jisung were done, trying to make Chan presentable and Chan thought they did a good job on him as he looked at himself in the mirror.

He was a wearing the only white shirt he owned, coupled with tight leather pants that flaunted his thighs and ass. His dark hair was styled up and the eyeliner did highlight his features.

“Damn you look delicious.” Changbin approved as he looked him up and down, with a smirk.

Chan was never good with the compliments, his ears turning pink as he told Changbin to shut up before grabbing his leather jacket and keys.

Once they entered the club, Chan was already regretting allowing his friends to drag him here. The loud music was already making his head throb and he wanted to leave. The club is dark, with coloured lights illuminating the dance floor that was already crowded with people dancing. They headed towards the bar that was on the other end of the dance floor.

They were down three drinks when Felix, already feeling the alcohol hit his system, wanted to dance. Dragging Changbin along with him, he soon left to go to the dance floor. After reassuring Jisung that he would be okay by the bar alone, Jisung took his leave, melting into the crowd and dancing with the people around him.

Chan sipped at his drink, eyes scanning the club and checking if his friends were okay. Partying and one-night stands were something Chan used to do in the past, getting tired of it gradually as he craved for more. For some connection that he never got. He had given up and was now back at the point where he did not do relationships, having no time or the energy for them. He looked around to see if there was anyone worth his attention but not one person caught his eyes. He sighed as he went back to his drink.

Just then, he felt someone slide into the bar stool next to him. He observed the man from the corner of his eyes and spotted an expensive Rolex watch on a slim wrist.

Someone who probably has a shit ton of money to spend, he thought to himself.

These types of people would never be interested in someone like Chan.

The man beside him waved over a bartender, ordering a drink and –

“Can I get you a drink?”

Chan did not know who he was asking in the first place, looking behind him and to the side, then realizing that they were the only ones sitting on this side of the bar.

He then looked up at the stranger and his breath caught. The stranger was _beautiful._ He had the most beautiful, intense, piercing set of eyes, the sharpest nose with perfectly shaped lips. His hair was a beautiful shade of copper red, long bangs falling into his eyes, making him look more mysterious.

“Are you talking to me?” Chan asked, pointing at himself in confusion.

The stranger chuckled before replying. “Of course, I am.”

Chan looked at the stranger over again. He is probably the type looking for a one-night stand too. It would not hurt to have some fun tonight right? He thought before nodding his head, smiling ever so slightly.

He told him what he wanted before the stranger gestured to the bartender and rattled off the order. He could then feel the stranger’s eyes on him, making him feel self-conscious.

“I am Minho.” The stranger said once the bartender returned with the drinks.

Chan hesitated, looking over the man before agreeing with himself that it would not cause any harm. “Chan.” He introduced himself, still feeling small beneath the intense stare.

He lifted his drink to his lips, taking a small sip, tongue coming out to lick his lips. He could see the stranger, _Minho,_ following the moment, his gaze now on his lips.

Chan would be lying if he said he was not enjoying the attention. It had been a while since he had come out and it had been longer since he had caught the attention of someone. And also, he had never caught the attention of someone, this attractive before. The man clearly must be rich, judging by the rings and the gold bracelet on his hands. His black shirt, which was rolled up at the sleeves, looked like it was from a branded store and his dress shoes were probably from Gucci. His cologne smelled expensive too.

In conclusion, he definitely was someone out of his league and Chan wondered if the stranger would leave if he knew that he was a broke workaholic.

Suddenly, the man leaned in, resting the arm with the expensive watch on Chan’s arm.

“You okay?” he whispered, his breath hitting Chan’s ear, sending shivers down his spine.

Chan could not seem to get the words out as he tried to swallow a gulp. He was definitely getting turned on and this was so not him. Usually he was the one making everyone else speechless.

“Yeah…” Chan breathed. “I am okay.”

The man smirked, before downing his drink.

“Are you going to finish that?” the man asked, gesturing at the drink in his hand.

Chan kept his eyes on Minho as he swallowed his drink, noticing the man’s eyes following the movement in his throat and shifting in his seat.

“Do you want to dance?” Minho asked, once he was done with his drink.

Maybe it was because Chan was feeling a bit intoxicated, with either the alcohol or with the beauty of this stranger, but he agreed, getting up from the seat and following the handsome man.

They got onto the dance floor, and for a while they just danced along with the crowd. The music was loud, vibrating the floor and Chan moved along with it. The alcohol was hitting his system and he felt sensual as he ran his hands down his body and back up again. He started shuddering when Minho got behind him, holding his waist from behind. Leaning back into the body, he soaked himself in the warmth and the fragrance of the man. Their hips started swaying in time to the music, and Chan could not stop himself from grinding against the smooth front of Minho’s pants.

He wondered just how rich this man was and whether his friends were close by to witness this scene unfolding. Chan grabbed on to the man’s rings adjourned hands, sliding his wrists to his ass as he grinded onto him. He heard Minho make a low noise in his throat, digging his nails into his skin, through his pants. He pulled him in closer and Chan, feeling bold, turned around and wrapped his arms around the man’s neck. Minho’s hands were still on his waist, tightening his hold. Chan slowly looked up, into the man’s eyes which were reflecting desire that were present in his own eyes too.

Minho definitely was a good dancer. Chan could tell with the way the man moved against him, so fluid, _so sensual_. They were so close to each other now and Chan could see the perfect outline of the man’s lips. One of Minho’s hand slide up from his hip, up his back, stopping when it reached the base of his neck. He saw Minho’s eyes move to his lips, drawing him in closer and closer until their lips finally met together. It was a peck at first, Minho looked at his expression and then he did it again. This time, it was firmer, more dominant. Closing his eyes, Chan lost himself in the kiss. His breath sharpening as Minho’s grip on the back of his neck tightened, tongue darting out to lick at the seam of his lips. Chan parted them almost immediately, heat pooling into his entire body as Minho licked into his mouth, tasting him. Minho angled Chan’s head, deepening the kiss, tongues brushing against each other’s and Chan craved for _more._

_Damn this man was a good kisser._

He moved his hands to Minho’s red hair, fingers holding on to the long strands and tugging them, emitting a growl from the base of his throat. Chan could feel Minho getting half hard against him and this brought out a low moan from him. Minho pulled away from him, looking into his soul with eyes that seemed to grow even darker, clouded with lust.

“Do you want to get out of here?” he whispered into his ears, voice dripping with arousal and Chan was a puppet in his hold at this point as he slowly nodded yes.

Minho then grabbed his wrist and led him to the exit, moving past the crowded sea of bodies. The cold air hit him as he passed the exits, inhaling in some much-needed fresh air. He saw Minho take out his phone, make a quick call and in two minutes, there was an expensive looking sedan pulling up by the entrance. Minho opened the door and pushed Chan gently into it. Once Minho had taken his seat next to him, Chan suddenly started freaking out.

_What was he doing?_

For all he knew, this rich guy could be a serial killer and he just willingly got into his car to get killed and buried away with the many other bodies.

He quickly realised that he did not even inform his friends that he was leaving, getting his phone out, and messaging in the group chat -

_Chan: Going to this sexy ass rich man's house to probably get laid...or murdered lol._

He even shared his live location just in case this guy was really a serial killer.

Minho glanced at him while he was texting.

“Why are you sharing your live location?”

“I don’t know who you are, you could be a cold-blooded killer.”

This made Minho chuckle and the sound of it sent warmth into Chan’s guts.

“Oh boy.” He whispered. “You sure are something.”

Chan was not surprised when they reached what looked like Minho’s apartment. It appeared like only the rich lived in there, the building looked classy and Chan felt smaller than he did before in the presence of the man. He was impressed though as he walked through the massive glass door. He felt a thrill of excitement shoot up his spine.

Chan followed the rich stranger, shoes clicking against the marble floors. They passed by two security guards who nodded their heads as they recognized Minho, on the way to the elevators. Minho pressed a button on the elevator and waited for the doors to close before grabbing Chan and bringing their lips together again. His lips against his were hungry now, prying it open and tasting the warm cavern of Chan’s mouth. Chan kissed him back desperately, unable to hold back the moans that were leaving his body. Minho did not leave his mouth even after the elevator doors opened at their floor. He took out a key card from his pant and blindly tapped against the second door by the elevator. Chan lets out a sharp gasp as Minho slammed him against the door once it was closed. They removed their shoes quickly, hands roaming over each other’s bodies, feeling up each other. Minho leaned down, kissing along his jawline, before moving to his neck. He moaned softly as Minho gently bit on the skin of his neck, licking along the spot.

“Top or bottom?” Minho suddenly asked him, eyes meeting his.

“I switch.” Chan answered slowly as he tried to drag Minho back into the kiss.

“Oh, but I want to be the one fucking you.” Minho chuckled as his hand moved down to his ass, giving it a tight squeeze. Chan felt like he would come right there, just by listening to Minho’s sultry voice.

Minho pulled Chan against his body, their clothed erections pressing against each other and Minho slide a hand under Chan’s shirt, feeling the contours of his body.

Chan was getting impatient right now, he needed more, he needed the man inside him. His hands moved to his shirt and struggled with the buttons of the shirt, finally opening up the shirt and removing it, exposing Minho’s bare body.

Minho grabbed on to Chan’s shirt, yanking at the collar and ripping it, the buttons popping from the threads and soaring through the room. His ruined shirt was then stripped off him and thrown on to the floor.

“That was the only white shirt I had….” Chan started before Minho caught his lips again, biting down on his lower lip, so hard he was sure there was going to be a bruise.

Minho started pushing at Chan gently, probably to go to his bedroom. He did not bother to switch on the lights and hence it was hard to see where he was going as he blindly allowed the man to guide him.

They stumbled across the living room, hitting several obstacles on the way before reaching a door which Minho kicked open with his foot. Even though it was dark, Chan could see the outline of a large king-sized bed in the middle of the room. They reached the bed and Chan was surprised when Minho broke the kiss, shoving him hard, throwing him on to the bed. He gasped when his back hit the mattress and Minho climbed on top of him, placing open mouthed kisses over Chan’s collarbones.

Chan let out a particularly loud moan when Minho took one of nipples, that were already perked, into his mouth, pressing his teeth ever so lightly into it as he sucked. He gave the same treatment to the other side before continuing his descent down Chan’s body, placing more kisses all over Chan’s well-defined abs.

Minho’s hands moved down, to the button of his leather pants, popping it open and unzipping them. He tugged on the pants, and Chan raised his hips so that he could strip them off of him. The redhead then hooked his fingers into the band of his underwear before stripping that off too.

Chan was now lying on the bed, naked, and he watched Minho lean back, admiring him with a primitive look in his eyes. Minho’s bare skin was tan and perfect, and Chan wanted to mark it all over. He reached out to unbuckle Minho’s belt, yanking it through the loops, and tossing it to the floor. Chan then immediately grabbed the waistband of his dress pants, pulling down the zipper and trying to remove it. Chan whined when the pants were not coming off, eliciting a deep throated chuckle from the man. Minho placed a hand on Chan’s, removing its hold on his pants as he removed them by himself, along with his briefs.

At this point Chan was delirious with lust and he wanted Minho to fuck him hard into the bed.

Minho hit the bed on both hands, hovering over Chan as he started rolling his hips up.

“Please…” he moaned as he ran his hands through Minho’s long red tresses. “I need you _now_.” His grip on Minho’s hair tightened, eliciting a hiss of pain from the man.

“Say my name.” Minho demanded, his breathing becoming heavier.

“I need you, in me, _Minho.”_ Chan panted.

Minho let out a growl before reaching over to the bedside table, coming back up with lube and a condom. He spreads Chan’s thighs apart and coated his fingers with lube before gently sliding one in. Chan hissed at the intrusion; it had been a while since he did this. As Minho inserted a second finger in and started fingering him gently, the pain faded away, replaced by pleasure. Chan pulled Minho down close to him, biting into perfect plane of his neck, marking it as Minho inserted a third finger.

Chan could hear Minho murmuring to himself about how _gorgeous_ he was, and it was the hottest thing he ever heard. Minho twisted his wrist, angling in deeper and brushing against Chan’s prostate, making him moan so loud he was pretty sure the whole apartment could have heard him.

“I love that you are so noisy.” Minho panted as he continued thrusting his fingers in. Chan arched his back, a whine slipping out, and he needed more than just fingers now.

“Minho…” Chan whined. “Fuck me, now.”

“Jesus…” Minho breathed, shivering as he removed his fingers. He quickly ripped the packet and put on the condom before moving between Chan’s legs. "So perfect.” The man was muttering again as he positioned himself against Chan’s body. “Ready?” He asked him and Chan was definitely more than ready as he nodded.

Minho was then pushing inside slowly, his eyes closing with pleasure.

Once he was fully inside, he waited for Chan to adjust before pulling out and thrusting in again. Chan wrapped his legs around Minho, pulling him in closer, deeper inside him.

“You are…so tight.” Minho panted.

“Fuck me _harder.”_ Chan gasped and Minho sucked in a breath before pulling out. He grabbed one of Chan’s thighs and hooked it over his shoulder, opening him up more. With this new position, he was able to thrust in deeper, hitting his prostate, making Chan scream out various swear words. With every rough thrust of Minho’s hips, Chan’s head kept hitting against the headboard and the pain combined with the pleasure, made the experience more blinding. Chan could already feel the sharp wave of orgasm building up as Minho continued pounding into him, hair falling into his eyes, beads of sweat on his sculpture like face. The sight made him tremble, and he started arching and rolling his hips up to meet him with every thrust.

Another sharp thrust had Chan digging his nails into Minho’s shoulders, he reached down to stroke himself. Minho swatted his hand away gently, replacing his hand with his own, roughly stroking him.

“Minho…please…I am going to come.” Chan whimpered.

“ _Touch me more.”_

He pulled Minho down to him, searching for his mouth and joining their lips together in a messy kiss. He moaned into Minho’s mouth as the man continued to jerk him off and fucked him hard.

Chan closed his eyes as he felt the orgasm hitting him like a wave and stars bursting behind his eyes as he came, moaning out Minho’s name as loud as he could.

Minho was leaning onto him, his pounding a bit sloppier now, his breathing even louder.

_“So good, fuck.”_

Chan opened his eyes and saw the man above him, looking at him with intense eyes, coated with pleasure and he was looking at him like he was going to devour him, and Chan felt like someone was stepping on his windpipe, knocking his breath away.

Chan felt Minho tense, his grip that were on his hips grew tighter, and he thrusted into him once more before he came, moaning out so loud.

He pulled out slowly, and Chan was already feeling empty. Exhausted, Minho fell onto the bed, beside Chan, his chest rising up and down with every breath.

“ _Wow.”_ The man panted beside him, before getting up, throwing him a towel to clean himself up as he removed his condom, discarding it.

Chan did not know what to do now. Is this where he got up and left? Or is this where he slept and have the walk of shame the next day?

Before his mind could arrive to a conclusion, he felt Minho get back onto the bed.

“It is late, and you are drunk. Stay the night and leave tomorrow.”

Chan was too tired anyways to leave, and hence welcomed the invitation, feeling his eyes slowly drift close.

Chan woke up the next morning with a groan, feeling sore all over his body. It took him a while to realise where he actually was. He looked to his side and noticed the bed was empty, the handsome stranger no longer there. In the daylight, he could see how grand the bedroom actually looked. There were paintings hanging on the walls and a large window with curtains that was opened to a beautiful view of the city.

He slowly got up from the bed, hissing in pain as his feet landed on the cold marble floor. Picking up his pants and briefs that were still lying discarded on the floor, he made his way to a door that opposite from the one through which they had entered the previous night, hoping it was the door to the bathroom.

The door did open to a bathroom, but Chan had not seen one as magnificent as this here. There was a large shower stall on the corner, next to the biggest bathtub Chan had ever seen. He quickly moved to the washbasin, rinsing his mouth, and splashing some cold water onto his face. He took a good look at his reflection and was startled to see angry red marks all over his neck and chest. His hair was messed up and Chan tried his best to look as presentable as possible. Memories of last night flashed through his mind as he put on his underwear and pants, making him turn red with embarrassment. He wondered if his shirt could still be worn. He slowly made his way out of the bathroom and out of the room he was in.

As he entered the living room, he could see Minho on his phone, sitting on a leather couch, wearing a simple shirt and shorts, with round glasses perched on his nose. At that moment, without any expensive accessories or clothes, Minho looked _normal,_ looked like a typical _boyfriend_ and suddenly Chan’s heart started doing somersaults.

Minho looked up as he heard Chan enter, smiling.

“Did you have a good night sleep?’

Chan did not know what an appropriate answer to that would be as he nodded in silence.

“Do you want some breakfast? Coffee?”

Chan never had a one-night stand where the person actually offered food or drinks. Usually he tried to get out as fast as he could, but there was something about this man in front of him. He looked around for his shirt and saw it lying on the floor near the entrance. Picking it up, he saw that half the buttons for the shirt were ripped out and there was a big tear near the collar. He was going to turn around and give a piece of his mind to the man when he heard him clear his throat.

“Yeah… that was my fault.” Minho said sheepishly as Chan turned to him. He was standing up and stretching his hands out with a new white shirt. “You can have this… I don’t really wear it.”

Chan took the shirt from the man and just by the feel of it, he knew it costed ten times more than the shirt that was ruined.

“No… I cannot accept this.” Chan replied, giving the shirt back to him.

“You don’t really have a choice… You can’t go out wearing that.”

Chan stared at Minho for a while before deciding to accept it. As he slipped it on, he could smell Minho’s cologne on it, and he was kind of glad that he could have something that would help him remember the man who gave the best sex he ever had.

“Wow…you look so good, wearing my shirt.”

The way Minho said that as his eyes raked over Chan’s form, sent shivers down his spine and he wanted the man to fuck him again, maybe in the couch this time.

“So…coffee?” Minho asked again once he was done checking him out.

Before Chan could reply, his phone started ringing, making them jump. He mumbled a quick sorry before checking his phone and realised that he there were hundreds of messages and a dozen missed calls.

Jisung was ringing him now and he was met with the boy screaming at him as he picked up the call.

“FINALLY! Changbin! Felix! He picked up. Come here!”

He could hear all three of their voices mixed together, sounding frantic and he could not make sense of what they were saying.

“Jisung…Could one of you talk please?”

“Chan! Where the fuck did you go?” Jisung shouted into the receiver and Chan was beginning to go deaf.

“I will explain everything when I see you guys…I am just leaving now.” Chan could feel Minho’s eyes on him, listening to every word he was saying.

“Your live location showed you were at the same place the entire night and _your message!_ We thought you were murdered!” Jisung continued ranting and Chan was beginning to feel guilty.

“Anyways we are outside the building so come out now, you idiot.”

Chan looked at his phone in surprise. It was already going to be noon, no wonder his friends were so worried. He quickly put his shoes on, tying the laces as he got ready to leave.

“You are leaving?” the voice asked from behind him.

“Uhm…” Chan faltered for a second, “Yes sorry, my friends are here.”

“Will I be seeing you again?”

Chan did not know whether he wanted to see this man again. Yes, it was fun, it was the best night he had in a while. Yes, he was fantasizing about Minho fucking him hard onto that couch just before Jisung had called. However, Chan knew it was a bad idea. it was better to avoid this man here as much as possible.

“I don’t think it would be a good idea.”

Chan wished the look of disappointment in Minho’s face did not send pangs of pain through his heart, but he knew he would be lying.

He quickly rushed out of the door heading to the elevator, Jisung was still shouting something at him through his phone. He got in the elevator once it arrived and as the doors closed, he saw Minho at the door to this apartment, a tiny smile lingering on his face.

“Chan!” As soon as he exited the building, he could see a mop of blonde hair before it hit him, knocking the breath out of him.

Felix was hugging him tight, almost choking him.

“We thought you were dead.”

“Calm down guys, I am alive.” Chan reassured them, trying to pull away from Felix gently and failing.

He looked to Changbin and Jisung for help who were just looking at him with looks of disapproval.

“What happened? What are you doing in a building that looked like it was built specifically for rich people?” Changbin asked him

Chan sighed, knowing he would not be able to get away from this easily.

“Can we go grab something to eat? Then I will explain.”

All three of them nodded their heads in unison.

Changbin pointed at his car that was parked a few feet away. “Let’s go back to my place and order some food.”

Chan nodded and started walking ahead of them to the car.

He was getting lost in his thoughts, wondering if he would ever meet the handsome man again, when suddenly –

“Chan, what the fuck, are you limping?” Jisung suddenly asked from the back, and Chan did not think it was possible to turn as red as he had turned now.

He heard Changbin break out in laughter.

“You _really_ got a lot of explaining to do…”

Once they had arrived at Changbin’s place and got some food into their systems, Chan started filling them up with the details of last night, leaving out the steamy parts. He could see their eyes growing wider and wider, amusing him.

“So, you are telling me that…” Jisung spoke up, a finger on his lips, feigning a look of thought, “You were living the boring life and suddenly on one night, you landed yourself a rich man, and you went to his rich house, where he probably fucked you up real nice judging by the way you are limping?” Jisung looked at him in surprise, appreciation in his eyes.

“I am proud of you Channie boy.”

Chan smacked the back of Jisung’s head, “Stop being so vulgar. We just had sex.”

“Are you going to meet him again?” Felix perked up, curiosity lining his tone.

“Nope.”

“Why not?” Felix asked.

“Not a good idea to get involved with a rich guy who is probably a player.”

Felix stared at him for a while, before nodding and letting it go.

“By the way, we are going to cater for a party at a villa by the beach, and I was allowed to invite friends along. Does anyone want to come?”

Felix worked as a chef for a high-profile restaurant and they cater events that are mostly hosted by business people.

“When is it?” Chan enquired. He had been struggling with composing a new song, maybe he could find some inspiration there to write about.

“The next Friday night.”

“Sorry, I got to work till late night.” Jisung apologised, “My manager is going out of town and I am left in charge,” Jisung worked as a journalist for a newspaper company which was why he was always up to date with the gossip that was happening in the country.

Felix turned to look at Chan and Changbin eagerly, waiting for their answers.

“I can.” Changbin replied.

Well one more night is going to hurt right?

“Me too.” Chan said as Felix’s lips turned up to a bright smile.

“You guy are going to have so much fun!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it goes, my first chaptered minchan fic. The tags will get updated as the story proceeds. Warning: It has a lot of sex so please do not read it if you feel uncomfy. There definitely will be a plot too! I hope I can do my best with this. Let the journey of minchan strangers to friends to lovers? (hopefully?) begin!


	2. Chapter 2

Changbin picked Chan up on the night of the party straight from work and Chan struggled to change from his work outfit to a more decent outfit in the backseat. He finished later than usual tonight as his boss was in a bad mood, giving him lots of tasks to do, and he did not have time to change or look at himself in the mirror. 

“Whatever you do, don’t look at me while I am half naked.” Chan called out from the backseat as he removed his boring work pants, replacing it with tight, black jeans.

Changbin scoffed, “Please, I don’t want to make my eyes bleed.”

Chan muttered to himself about how rude Changbin was as he put on a light pink shirt.

They finally reached the beach and the party was already in full swing. There was a huge villa, framed by the twilight sky, the ocean rippling behind it. Chan was starting to feel intimidated by the crowd.

“Do I look okay?” He turned around to Changbin, insecurity and nervousness clouding his eyes.

Changbin outstretched a hand, patting his hair down, before taking a good look at him.

“Perfect.” He smiled.

Chan gave a small smile back, even though it did not reach his eyes. He does not do well with crowds and especially with people he knew he did not have any connections with.

Felix was already in the villa somewhere, probably cooking up a storm and Chan followed Changbin up the stairs to the party.

After finding Felix and stuffing their stomachs with the all-you-can-eat buffet, Changbin abandoned Chan in favour of talking to a tall guy with a mole beneath the eye, who was his ex-boss and a regular customer at his café.

Changbin’s dream was to open a chain of cafés around Seoul that could cater to the needs of students as well as the office workers. He finally opened one last year, leaving his job as a personal assistant to this man and attending to the café full time. Needless to say, the café became extremely popular over time. Changbin’s ex-boss, who was a young man, probably around their age, was a saint compared to Chan’s current boss, the former had supported and helped Changbin through the struggles of opening a café and even tried to visit him as much as he could now.

Chan decided to go out of the building for some fresh air, maybe the peaceful rippling of the ocean would send a spurt of motivation into him to compose a masterpiece and also aid in calming his nerves down. He grabbed a glass of wine before heading out at the back, away from the crowd, gazing out at the ocean.

He was starting to get lost in the calmness of his thoughts, sipping his wine, and admiring the beauty of nature when he suddenly heard a voice call out.

“Chan?”

He had heard that voice before, in fact, he had heard that voice moan out his name multiple times in one night.

_It could not be._

Turning around, he looked at the direction of the voice, his heartbeat escalating when he saw that it was him.

_It was Minho._

He stood tall in a suit that looked like it was tailored specifically for him, hugging him in all the right curves and he looked even more delicious. His copper red hair made his features stand out even more, under the moonlight.

“What are you doing here?” Chan choked out before he could stop himself.

The man chuckled, running a hand through his hair, “I should be asking you that…” He said, clearing his throat, looking a bit embarrassed. “This is kind of my party.”

Great. Chan thought to himself. He just asked the host of this grand party what he was doing here. He could feel the embarrassment kicking in.

“My father’s actually.” Minho spoke up again. “He got a deal with this other company, so we are celebrating.”

Chan thought life was unfair. It had to be fate playing a joke on him right now.

He turned to look back at the ocean, he could feel Minho’s eyes boring into him and Chan sensed he was waiting for him to say something, but he could not think of anything.

“You left abruptly that day.” Minho continued when he realised Chan was going to stay quiet.

“Yup.”

He then felt Minho take a few steps towards him, closing the distance between them, standing close to him now.

“Can I get your number or something?”

Chan’s mouth felt parched, his throat going dry as he spun to look at Minho. The man cocked his head at him, a smile playing on his lips at Chan’s expression.

“I said it was not a good idea.” Chan said after a while, not focusing on how beautiful the man was looking, with the long bangs that fell onto his eyes effortlessly, dark eyes that kept raking over Chan’s body, making him feel more inferior than he felt before.

“Why not?” The man questioned. His eyes were blazing with intensity as he looked at Chan. Chan suddenly felt like he was naked. He felt like his thoughts were written all over his face, allowing Minho to read them all. Minho took another step closer to him, and now they were standing way too close and Chan wanted to jump into the rippling waters below.

“Why…” Chan started, struggling with his breathing because of the close proximity of the man. “Why do you need it?”

Minho shrugged, “I don’t have friends.”

“I don’t think I am your friend… we fucked.”

“Haven’t you ever heard of friends with benefits?”

“What?” Chan asked, his ears not believing what he just heard.

“You know…” Minho answered casually, “We remain friends, but we fuck when we want to. No feelings involved.”

This made Chan mad. Of course, the man wanted his number for booty call purposes. All rich people are the same anyways.

“Just think about it, instead of sleeping with strangers why couldn’t it be with someone you know?”

Whatever powerful force Minho had, that had him rooted to the floor disappeared, and Chan walked past him to leave.

He then felt a hand closing around his arm, turning him around a bit roughly.

“I was joking.” Minho had said, the corners of his mouth turning down as he looked at him more seriously.

“I really just need more friends.”

Chan took a good look at the man standing before him. Why did a man like him need a friend like Chan anyways? He probably got a lot of people after him, a lot of friends and even people to just have sex with.

So why him?

Just then, he heard a voice call out Minho’s name. Turning around, he saw it was the man with the mole.

He walked over towards them, Changbin towing behind.

“Hey! I was looking for you everywhere man!” the man patted Minho’s back once he reached, a bright smile on his face.

It just had to be his luck that this man had to be connected to Minho somehow. The world was indeed a tiny place.

Chan could see that Minho did not take his sight off of him, and the man, noticed the tense atmosphere that was surrounding them.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Changbin then came to the rescue to Chan’s relief.

“Uhm, Hyunjin, this is my friend Chan. And Chan, this is my ex-boss, Hyunjin. You had seen him in the café multiple times.”

Hyunjin gave him a bright smile, his eyes lighting up. “I am also Minho’s best friend! Do you guys know each other?”

Minho then turned around, facing Hyunjin as he said, “Yup, we are friends.”

_You got to be kidding me._

“You got friends that aren’t Seungmin or me?” Hyunjin asked him, genuine confusion in his tone.

He could see Changbin staring at him from behind, putting two and two together before he finally realised it.

“Damn Chan.” He breathed out, eyes going wide. “This was the man?”

Chan rolled his eyes at his friend. He successfully eased out of Minho’s hold and kept his eyes on his friend as he walked past Minho.

“It was just a one-night thing, we aren’t friends.”

He heard Hyunjin whistling lowly. Minho’s mouth fell open slightly, a bit embarrassed and lost for words.

He was probably not used to people shutting him down, rather people throwing themselves at him were the norm.

Chan could hear Hyunjin laughing out loud as he dragged Changbin along, away from them.

“Seriously Chan?” Changbin asked once they were back inside the villa and Chan placed his empty wine glass on a table. “You slept with _Minho?_ Hyunjin’s friend?”

“Look, I didn’t know just how rich he would be, plus you kept telling me to go have fun, so I thought why not?” Chan sighed.

“Rich people can’t be let down easily Channie… wait did you just reject him?” Changbin asked again, looking at him in curiosity.

“Yeah…” Chan lowered his eyes, looking at his fingernails instead. “He asked for my number and I refused. I don’t want to be someone’s booty call.”

“Channie! Binnie!” They heard Felix call out in his deep booming voice, as he moved past the crowds to get to them.

“So, how is everything? Did you find anyone interesting?” Felix asked, looking at Chan with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Actually…” Changbin started speaking instead, “We just ran into the guy that gave Chan the time of his night.” He chuckled. “And… he is friends with Hyunjin, my ex-boss. Small world huh?”

“He is also the son of the guy who is hosting this party.” Chan added in, shrugging.

Chan had never seen Felix’s eyes go this wide before and he found it a bit amusing.

“Wait…” Felix started speaking, “Does he have sexy copper red hair? With bangs falling into his eyes, making him look mysterious and sexy?”

Chan nodded; a bit confused as to how Felix knew that.

“And does he have crazy intense eyes? And a sharp nose, and a lean, muscular body?”

“Felix, can you come straight to the point?” Chan snapped at him.

“Well…there is a guy that fit that description, who had been staring at you and is walking over as we speak.”

Chan spun around quickly, and Minho was, indeed, striding towards them. His eyes were moving between Felix and Changbin and then at Chan and he looked a bit…. _nervous._

He reached them and smiled brightly at Felix, “The food was brilliant, thank you so much.”

This was the first time Chan had seen Felix lost for words, just staring at the man, until Changbin gave him a sharp nudge, making him jump.

“Oh… Thank you! It was my pleasure.” Felix replied back, looking at Minho in confusion.

“Can I get your business card? So, I could contact you again in the future?” Minho asked, looking at him eagerly.

Chan’s gaze snapped up at this, his eyes moving between Minho and Felix, trying to figure out if there is some motive here. An indescribable feeling crept over him, making him feel uneasy.

“Yeah sure, one minute- “

Without warning, Chan grabbed Minho’s hand before he could take Felix’s card, pulling him with him to go out.

“What are you doing?” Chan huffed once they were outside the villa, crossing his arms over his chest.

Placing a hand into the pockets of his pants, Minho stood there, looking like a model made out of sculpture and it was doing the strangest things to Chan’s heart.

“Listen, I was just asking for his number because his food was delicious. Do you not want your friend to succeed?” Minho was looking at him with what looked like a smirk tugging at his lips.

Chan sighed as he got his wallet out, taking out a card and pressing it into Minho’s palm.

The man looked at the card, furrowing his eyebrows, before looking at Chan again.

“What is this?”

“My number is on it; you can call me if you need any services from Felix.”

Minho held Chan’s eyes for a while before he started bursting out in laughter making Chan frown at him, wondering if something was wrong.

Minho kept the card in his pants pockets, running a hand through his hair after that.

“Well, well, well…” Minho spoke after he was done laughing. “If I didn’t know better, I would say that you were actually being jealous.”

“Me? Jealous?” Chan snorted incredulously. “Why would I be jealous?”

Minho took a step forward and he was way too close to him and Chan was going to push him away.

“Don’t worry. I only need services from you.” Minho leaned forward to whisper into Chan’s ear almost unintelligibly, before giving him a soft peck on the lips and strolled away.

Chan was left standing there, alone and trembling, he could still smell the cologne from Minho around him. He could still feel the tingling sensation on his earlobe where Minho’s lips had brushed against, and the soft feel of his lips against him.

Chan closed his eyes, taking deep breathes to steady himself before heading back inside, scouring the crowd for Felix and Changbin. He wanted to leave the party now before the man could do anything else to set his heartbeat racing.

He finally located them, still talking to Hyunjin by the drinks table and quickly made his way. After explaining to them that he was not feeling well and had to go, he managed to usher Changbin away. Felix had to stay for longer but promised to meet them the next day at the café.

After he had buckled himself in the passenger seat, his phone pinged with a notification and he looked down to see it was a message from an unknown number.

 _“Minho here, save my number and hope to see you soon_ _😉”_

“You look flustered. Is everything okay?” Changbin glanced at him before starting his car.

“I ended up giving my number, don’t ask me why but I did it.” Chan did not know what he should do now as he put his phone back, not replying back to the message. Being friends should not be difficult right?

Changbin stared at Chan for a while before he started driving away.

“Just don’t get hurt, Channie.”

* * *

Chan loved weekends, mainly because he did not have to deal with work bullshit and also, he got to eat free snacks at Changbin’s café. Changbin was at the front, busy instructing his staff around. Chan was sitting at their usual spot at a corner with Jisung and Felix who was filling Jisung in with the details of the previous night.

Felix took his sweet time, describing Minho, _(“he looked like a prince from a faraway land, he had looks that could make anyone stop what they are doing and stare”)_ that made him feel that weird uneasy feeling again. He thought again about how Minho had asked him if he was jealous, making him scoff.

“Everything alright Channie?” Jisung asked him, with a grin on his face that he wanted to smack off.

“Yup why shouldn’t everything be alright?” he challenged; an eyebrow raised.

“Well… you have one of the richest guys behind you, asking for your number and stuff… aren’t you flattered?”

Glaring at Jisung, Chan took a bit of the red velvet cake Changbin had served them before resuming their conversation.

“Look, he is probably already bored with me and had moved on to another target. That’s how rich people's minds… and dicks work.”

Jisung burst out in laughter before gradually becoming subdued as his eyes moved behind Chan.

Suddenly he heard a familiar voice call out to Changbin before he heard the footsteps moving towards their table. It was Hyunjin, dropping by as he often did but he could hear a second pair of footsteps and before he could turn around to see who it was, the person had slide into the empty seat next to him.

“Oh, red velvet cake? Can I have some?” the voice asked, picking up the spoon and helping himself to a big bite of the cake before Chan could give him an answer.

It was _him_ again. Minho was here and this time it was no coincidence.

“Hey guys. Mind if we join?” Hyunjin spoke up before grabbing a chair and sitting at their table.

“Yeah sure.” Felix replied, eyes round like two saucers.

“So, I am assuming you are the Minho?” Jisung enquired, looking at the guy sitting next to him.

Minho nodded, while taking another bite of the cake.

“Do you know you just had an indirect kiss with Chan?” Jisung said, gesturing to the spoon.

“Judging by what they might have done before… I don’t think they are worried about that.” Felix teased suggestively, making Chan turn a deep red. He kicked Felix under the table while Minho chuckled.

“What are you doing here?” Chan turned to Minho, his tone sharper than he intended, making Minho flinch for a second before he composed himself.

“Hyunjin said he was going to the café and I decided to accompany him, that’s it.” Minho said, as he casually reached out for the menu, looking through it.

“And we are friends now, so we are hanging out.” He finished a bit lamely, putting the menu down, looking at him.

Chan held his stare for a while, before sighing, turning back.

“You owe me a cake.”

Minho’s laugh stirred up something warm in Chan’ stomach and he tried to shake it off.

“So… Minho what do you do?” Jisung looked at the male with interest.

“Well…” Minho shook his hair into place, sighing softly. “I am working in my father’s company which I will inherit soon, and that’s… about it.”

“What about you?” Minho asked back politely.

There was a beginning of a smirk tugging at Jisung’s lips as he looked at Minho.

“I am a journalist. So, if you are not careful, you better watch out or there would be some _really_ interesting articles about you.”

“Okay… this was fun. Let us now stop interrogating each other.” Hyunjin butted in, eyes darting between them.

“I was thinking that it would be great if we could all hang out maybe? If everyone is cool with that?” he announced looking around the table.

“Well… yeah sure.” Felix finally answered, Jisung nodding along, “I think it would be fun.”

“Cool, I would be in touch with Changbin then.” Hyunjin said, smiling brightly as he got up from his chair. “I have to go now.” He looked at Minho, “Are you coming?”

Minho caught Chan’s eyes for a second before turning to Hyunjin, “Yes, just give me ten minutes.”

Hyunjin nodded, “I will go get the car.” He said, waving to everyone before taking his leave.

Minho then turned back to Chan, “Can I talk to you? For ten minutes, outside?”

Chan’s eyes grew wide, his pulse speeding up. He cleared his throat and looked at his friends who were gesturing at him to go.

“Okay… but just ten minutes.”

Pushing the chair back, Minho got up and said his goodbyes before leaving. Chan followed him; a bit nervous as to what the man had to say to him.

He caught eyes with Changbin who was looking at him, with a worried expression on his face. Chan gestured to Minho and mouthed out that he was going out to talk for some time. Once he was out the door, the fresh, cold air that hit him was so refreshing and it helped to calm him, a bit.

Minho took out a cigarette from his pocket, putting it between his lips to light the stick up. He took a puff, blowing it into the air before offering one to Chan.

“No thanks, I don’t smoke.”

“Oh…same… I mean I do smoke, but only when I am nervous.” He said as he took another long drag, blowing out the smoke, creating a wisp of cloud around him.

_Does that mean he is nervous now?_

“What did you want to talk about?” Chan asked him, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets to warm them up.

“I wanted to apologise.”

Chan looked up at him in surprise. Out of everything his mind was coming up with, an apology was clearly not one of them.

“The whole friends with benefits idea was insensitive, so I am sorry.” Minho said, looking at Chan sincerely.

“I hope we can still be friends though.” Minho finished, awkwardly smiling before taking another puff from his cigarette.

Chan allowed himself to look over at Minho. His face was definitely carved out of the finest marble, and just him standing there, with a cigarette held loosely between his fingers was so overpowering and it made Chan’s heart drop to the floor.

“Why?” Chan asked.

Minho looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean why?”

“Why do you want to be friends with me when you could be friends with anyone in this world?”

Minho chuckled as he took another drag, exhaling the smoke out as he thought about the answer.

“It is not really possible for me to be friends with anyone in the world…and your friends looked fun too.” He hesitated her for a while before continuing, “plus this might be weird, but I kind of feel comfortable with you somehow.”

Oh. This is just their third interaction and this man already felt comfortable with him. Anyways, Chan did not think it would be a problem to start a friendship with someone. Minho did seem nice, a bit awkward at times but harmless, and not to mention extremely _hot._

"You do realise it might be awkward right? Since we, you know." Chan blurted out.

"I mean... yes...but we could put that behind us and start again? Maybe?" Minho was looking at him eagerly and it was really hard to say no to this man.

“Okay.” Chan finally said, surprising himself.

“Wait…Really?” With that one word, Minho’s head had snapped up, looking at him in astonishment. “I had a whole essay ready on friendships and reasons why we should be friends.” He spoke softly, happiness apparent on his face. “Guess you wanted to be my friend too so badly huh.”

“Don’t push your luck, Minho, or else I will change my mind.” Chan narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.

Minho laughed, his eyes turning crescent, running a hand through those beautiful long strands of hair. Minho’s laugh was contagious, and Chan felt a smile creeping up on his own face.

“So, first step, please text me back.”

“I will think about it.” Chan said, rolling his eyes.

Just then, Hyunjin pulled up at the street in his fancy, rich looking sedan. He rolled down the windows by the passenger seat.

“C’mon lover boy, let’s go before Seungmin kills me.”

Minho took a last puff from his cigarette before putting it out.

“So, I guess, I will see you around?”

Chan slowly nodded his head, and before he could stop himself, he felt himself catch Minho’s arm, stopping him.

“Wait!”

Minho looked at his hand that was holding his arm before looking at Chan in shock.

“I don’t even know your full name…”

Minho looked amused, his lips tugging up to a smile.

“Lee Minho.”

“I see…” Chan murmured, before letting go of his arm. “I am Bang Chan.”

Chuckling Minho stepped backwards to open the door to the car.

“Nice to meet you, _Bang Chan.”_

Hearing his full name come out of Minho’s lips sent butterflies down his stomach.

“And I am Hwang Hyunjin, but no one cares.” Hyunjin suddenly spoke out from the driver’s seat, making Chan flush in embarrassment. He spun around, and headed back to the café, Minho’s laughter ringing in his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minho just need more friends and Chan is a sweetheart.


	3. Chapter 3

It was early in the morning and Chan wanted nothing better to do other than sleeping through the day. However, Felix wanted to cook breakfast for him and thought it would be a great idea to disturb him in the morning. Not that Chan was complaining, Felix’s cooking was top notch.

“So, did you guys text?” Felix asked as he hopped onto the seat, across from Chan.

Minho did send him a goodnight text which Chan once again tried to ignore but caved in and sent him a goodnight text back.

“Yeah…just one text.” Chan answered, leaning against his seat.

“Changbin seemed skeptical of Minho…” Felix commented, keeping his expression neutral.

Changbin was extremely protective of them all. When Chan returned to the café, Changbin walked up to him and bombarded him with questions including the possibility of Minho saying anything inappropriate. After Chan had filled him up on what happened and that he was actually going to try and be Minho’s friend, Changbin’s expression had turned disapproving, shaking his head at him.

 _“Look Chan I am all in for you getting laid or finding someone you love but don’t you think it would be awkward to be friends with someone you had sex with? That is so backwards!”_ Changbin had lectured.

Chan shrugged, unsure of what to say.

“He is watching out for me…” Chan said slowly. “But it is going to be okay.”

“You know we love you a lot, right?” Felix smiled fondly at his friend. “We want you to be happy.”

“I know…” Chan hummed softly. “It is just…weird? I mean I really want to be Minho's friend but at the same time, my heart does this weird little thing and I don’t know Lixie.” He groaned covering his face with his hands.

“Chan… It is okay, you are just scared, you have trust issues when it comes to these kinds of things.” Felix said reassuringly. 

"Why am I overthinking so much for a friendship? It was not like he asked me to be in a relationship with him." Chan pursued his lips in thought.

"Did you wish it was a relationship?" Felix asked gently and it did take Chan back by surprise.

"What? No. Of course not!" Chan said indignantly. 

"Okay. Okay. I was just asking." Felix said, putting his arms up to surrender.

A comfortable silence took over them slowly as Chan got lost in his thoughts.

“So how is work going?” Felix asked, dragging Chan back from his thoughts.

“Oh, it is shitty as always.” Chan complained, thankful for the change in the topic. “We have a new staff, called Jeongin, so I have to train him. He is really cute though.”

“That is great!” Felix said. “Hopefully, he is not as bad as your other colleagues.”

Chan leaned back against his chair, rubbing his eyes slowly.

“I hope so too…”

Sundays were a pain for Chan, as that meant the end of the weekend which meant five more days of this grueling torture, they call work.

The new staff, Jeongin, did bring about a change in the atmosphere. He reminded Chan of a fox, and Jeongin had told him excitedly at lunch that Chan looked like a wolf, so it was easy for them to bond.

His phone vibrated against the desk, lighting up with a notification. Unlocking his phone, Chan saw it was a message from Minho.

_“Do you want to grab dinner or something after work? Get to know each other more?”_

Chan looked at his watch, he would be done with work in another hour anyways and he did promise that he would try to be better friends. He was deep in his thoughts thinking what to reply when -

“Channie hyung has a date?”

Chan almost jumped out of his seat, startled by Jeongin appearing out of nowhere from behind him.

“It is not a date…he is a friend.”

Jeongin hummed as he dropped a file on to the table. “The boss wanted you to look through this before you go.” He said, turning to go back to his seat. “Oh, and also hyung?”

Chan looked up at him, seeing the tiny smile lingering on his face.

“I could hear your brains whirring from here, you should definitely go.”

“Go do your work Innie,” Chan commanded as the younger rolled his eyes.

Smiling to himself, Chan quickly typed out a reply to Minho.

_“Where should I meet you?”_

Chan was now waiting in front of a restaurant, hands tucked into his jacket pockets to prevent them from freezing. Minho had said he would be around ten minutes late and true to his word, he appeared within the ten minutes mark, looking as handsome as always in his work shirt, dress pants and that tie.

“Are we going to this restaurant?” Chan asked once the man stood in front of him. “I might have to spend my two months’ salary on this.” He murmured.

“It is my treat.” Minho said, adjusting his tie.

“No, I am not going to let you do that, it is okay I can manage.” Chan replied back, feeling a bit embarrassed about it.

“No,” Minho insisted, “I dragged you out here so let me get this, maybe you can take me somewhere next time.” He licked his lips, looking upwards.

Chan stared at him for some time, wondering if this was what friends do, or was this a date.

“Okay…” He agreed, “But this is _not_ a date.” Chan croaked out after what seemed like forever, and Minho released a sigh in relief.

“Not a date at all.” The man chuckled as they walked into the restaurant.

Chan was wrong, he would have spent three months’ worth of salary on the food here. He knew it was a place he would never ever come back unless someone was paying for him.

“Do you come here often?” Chan asked hesitantly, eyes roaming up to meet Minho’s.

“I come here with my father, for occasions.” Minho replied.

Chan pursued his lips, looking around as he surveyed the place, examining the expensive interior and the chandelier.

“That is cute…” He said after a while.

“Yeah,” Minho replied, shrugging nonchalantly.

Their food arrived, saving Chan the trouble of starting another conversation and he started digging in. It was definitely delicious, the meat melting in his mouth and the quality of the food definitely made up for the price.

“Did you have plans?” Minho asked suddenly, playing with the fork on his plate.

Chan shook his head, his mouth full of the food he stuffed in.

“I usually just buy dinner on the way or go over to Felix to see if there are leftovers.” He blubbered between mouthfuls.

Minho let out a soft chuckle, the sound hanging in the air, his eyes turning into crescents.

“I think we should all hang out.” Minho said seriously, digging into his own meal.

Chan blinked at Minho, bewildered. He still found this whole ordeal odd, agreeing with Changbin about the relationship being so backwards, to go from a one-night stand to apparently friends.

“I like that…” he churned out.

“How old are you by the way?” Chan asked curiously.

“25…What about you?”

“Oh, I am a year older than you, I am 26.” Chan smiled at him.

“Interesting… _hyung.”_ Minho chuckled, winking at him and Chan hoped to god his ears did not turn pink at that.

“Do you ask everyone you fucked to be your friend?” Chan blurted out, reddening immediately when Minho eyes widened with shock.

Minho sipped his wine, before looking straight into Chan’s eyes. “No. You are the first.”

“You honestly don’t expect me to believe that, do you?” Chan asked, gaping at him.

“I am serious.” Minho said, “Honestly, I myself could not believe that I mustered up the guts to ask you to be my friend.” There was a tinge of nervousness in his voice.

Chan did not know whether he should be honoured or feel special with this admission. There were probably many friends on this planet that fucked or end up fucking and are still able to have a friendship. Maybe whatever they have right now could work too.

After that they headed towards a more casual conversation, talking about work and what their daily schedules were like.

Once they were done with their food, and Minho paid as promised, even though Chan had tried convincing him to split the bill, they headed off outside.

They stood by the street, near the parking lot, awkwardly.

“My car is towards that side…” Minho gestured towards the opposite direction to where his own car was parked.

“Oh, so I think we should say our goodbyes now? My car is on the other side.” Chan said.

“I am not used to this.” Minho suddenly said, rubbing his hands together.

“Used to what?” Chan asked, confusion lacing in his tone.

“Used to having dinners and then just… going separate ways.” Minho trailed off awkwardly, staring at his shoes.

“Usually…we just…”

Chan knew what he was talking about and he could feel the familiar boil of anger in his stomach.

“If you are suggesting we go fuck now then I am sorry, you got the wrong guy.” Chan turned around, to walk away from the said man. Just when he thought he had a good night, Minho had to go ruin it.

He felt Minho’s hand around his arm, pulling him back, “No, No!”

He was looking at him with frantic eyes, “I meant this was different… this was nice.”

“We should do this more.” Minho concluded, a gentle smile tugging at his lips.

Chan glanced up at Minho and saw that the man looked sincere.

“Yes.” He finally said, “Yes we should.”

Minho smiled at him, before letting go of his hand and walking to his car, his figure growing smaller as he vanished into the darkness.

* * *

Minho drummed his hands on his knees as he watched the view out of the giant ceiling to floor window from his office. The orange lights out in the city twinkled and glittered like cinders in a dimming fire. They gave a deceptive image of warmth in contrast to the chill that he kept feeling in his heart.

He had been checking his phone every five minutes, wondering if Chan would ever text him. It is weird, Minho thought to himself, he did not usually care about someone he slept with, however there was just something about this man. Something that made him _crave_ his touch.

He ended work and got into the elevator to go down when his phone pinged.

_Would you like to join us at Changbin’s café Saturday evening? You could bring Hyunjin along._

Minho smiled as he quickly typed out a reply. It was a tiny progress, but it was a progress alright.

_Sure, see you._

The chilly evening air gently caressed Chan’s hands as he strolled down the sidewalk with Felix. They entered the café; the lights are a pretty shade of amber and emitting warmth.

Changbin waved at them once they entered, walking over to them.

“I am off work, so go grab a seat and I will come with some drinks.”

Chan had already informed them that Minho and Hyunjin would be joining and to his relief, his friends did not make a fuss.

Jisung entered soon after, with Minho and Hyunjin trailing behind. It seemed odd to see Minho in an atmosphere like this. He looked out of place, a bit awkward and lost, Chan finding it endearing.

“Thanks for the invite.” Minho muttered as he took the seat across from Chan.

Chan nodded in reply, looking up as Changbin came to their table with a huge tray of snacks and drinks.

“Yay! Free food.” Hyunjin cheered, waving his hands around.

“Anyone would think you aren’t a CEO of a multi billionaire company.” Changbin chided, hitting Hyunjin’s shoulder lightly.

“Don’t worry, I kind of forget sometimes too.” Hyunjin chuckled.

“Channie is hungry so he is going to grab that strawberry milkshake.” Chan said suddenly, leaning over the table.

Minho was looking at him with an amused smile, and Chan quirked an eyebrow at him.

“What?”

“That was cute.” His kitty smile was clutching at his cheeks.

“What?” Chan repeated.

“You referring to yourself in the third person.”

“Oh, Chan does that all the time.” Jisung replied. “He is a bit weird.”

Chan reached over to smack him on his shoulder eliciting a yowl of pain from the man.

“Cute.” Minho muttered under his breath again, but Chan heard it.

He nonchalantly retracted back into his chair, his neck burning with the compliment.

“So Hyunjin, we never really got to talk with you but how was it handling this specimen called Changbin here?” Jisung asked, peering up at Hyunjin.

“Well… he was the best PA I ever had.” Hyunjin replied and Changbin grinned sheepishly.

“I was actually the worst, Hyunjin was just patient with me.” He chuckled, taking a spoonful of cake, and shoving it into his mouth.

“The PA I have now is worse.” Hyunjin complained, “She could not do anything right and I have made her cry four times already when I wasn’t even shouting or anything.”

“Well…you tend to look really scary sometimes.” Minho teased, nudging Hyunjin gently.

The relationship Minho and Hyunjin had with each other was cute, and Chan was curious as to how they became friends. The way Minho looked at Hyunjin with a soft expression, every time he answered something, the way Minho seemed at ease with the man beside him.

“How do you two know each other?” Chan asked, when his curiosity could not hold any longer.

Hyunjin laughed, slurping at his americano, “Do you want to do the honours, Minho?”

“Long story short, I was eleven and I was new to the school, minding my own business in a corner all by myself and this hyperactive kid came up to me and started talking and would not shut up. In the process, I felt bad for him and decide to become his friend.” Minho grinned as he finished.

“Hey.” Hyunjin whined, elbowing Minho in the ribs, “He made it sound easy, anyways, Minho was not an easy kid to be friends with. He used to bite the top off my head off every time I came close to him. But I captivated him with my charm and good looks and soon we came tight friends.” Hyunjin said fondly, laughing at the memory.

“Charm and good looks, more like persistence and good food.” Minho scoffed. “He bought me over with the delicious food he used to bring from home.”

“Anyways enough about us. How did you guys become friends?” Hyunjin asked, his gaze lingering over them.

“Well… we lived in the same building since we were five?” Felix answered, deep in thoughts.

“And we clicked together, well… Chan was scary at first, but he turned out to be the sweetest cupcake.” He finished, squeezing Chan’s arm gently.

“Oh yeah remember when Chan used to sit by the swing in the playground, alone, and you used to cry because Changbin did not give you the other swing so Chan got up and made you sit on it and started pushing you gently?” Jisung said, chuckling.

“I did not cry!” Felix bellowed shrilly, narrowing his eyes.

“Please, you cried so hard over a swing.” Changbin muttered rolling his eyes.

“You kept hogging it for yourself!” Felix said frowning.

“Those were some good old days…” Chan chuckled looking at them in amusement, at how close they had all become.

The atmosphere that might had been awkward at first had started to dissolve around them like the packets of sugar Minho poured into his coffee. Chan learnt a few things about Minho’s mannerisms. The man tends to bite his lips a lot whenever he was deep in thoughts, he had the most beautiful laugh, eyes crinkling into crescents and he tend to be extremely savage once he is comfortable with the person. Minho was also a cat person and he was looking into cat shelters to adopt a few cats. The more Chan learnt about Minho, the more he felt the man was _human_ and not just some rich, privileged brat.

Soon, it was getting late, the customers leaving one by one and the staff started closing up.

“Well this was fun.” Hyunjin announced, leaning back in his chair, stretching his arms, “I will admit, I thought it was going to be a disaster with none of us talking.”

“Likewise.” Jisung teased. “We thought rich people were boring.”

“That is just a stereotype!” Minho huffed, his lips pouting.

“Minho, you fit almost all the stereotypes of a rich person.” Chan giggled, “Maybe not boring but, handsome, mysterious, unattainable sense of aura lingering around you, expensive watch, rolled up sleeves…” Chan trailed off, as he noticed everyone looking at him in amusement, Minho had a tiny smirk lingering. Chan realised he probably sounded like a man whipped for the other.

“Ew.” Hyunjin said, breaking the silence.

“Anyways…” Changbin said, coming to his rescue, “I have to lock up, so let us get out of here.”

They got up slowly, putting on their jackets, it was getting colder as days pass by and Chan was regretting not driving here.

They waited out as Changbin went around the place, switching off lights and locking up.

Chan was scrolling through his phone when he realised, he got a new message.

_Do you want a ride home?_

It was from Minho and Chan could not help. but burst out with laughter.

“You know you could just ask me, straight right?” Chan snorted, turning to catch Minho’s eyes, who was leaning against the wall of the café, looking like a deer caught in headlights. And _damn_ he looked good.

“Sorry…I was scared.”

Felix and Jisung watched them, eyes moving between each other, confused.

Chan shook his head, smiling to himself, replying to Minho’s message.

_Only if you do not mind…_

A reply came immediately after that.

 _I don’t_ _😊_

“Can you guys stop flirting with each other and ignoring us?” Hyunjin groaned.

“We weren’t flirting, I was politely offering Chan a ride.” Minho explained.

“Oh? A ride?” Changbin asked as he walked towards them, eyebrows raising at Chan.

“Yeah… I didn’t bring my car anyways.” Chan shrugged causally, wishing Changbin would stop staring at him like he was going to commit a grave mistake.

“So, let’s go?” Minho asked inquiringly as Chan nodded.

“Thank you, guys, for tonight.” He chirped up cheerfully, “I really had a great time. We should do this more.”

“Yes, but next time let’s get alcohol, please?” Hyunjin called out as Chan tugged Minho away, saying a quick goodbye to everyone else.

He let go off Minho’s hands after some time, his fingers burning from the touch.

“Thanks, for offering a ride.” Chan said after some time, to fill the silence.

“Oh, you are most welcome.” Minho rubbed his neck, chuckling.

“I feel like you are still awkward around me.” Chan said, biting his lips lightly.

Minho laughed but this time it was more nervous, “Really? I think I am more awkward with your friend, Changbin. Don't think he likes me much."

Chan’s eyes opened wide, shuffling to hide his smile, “Hey… I know he can be too protective, but he is looking out for me. Once you get to him, you would realise he is the most hilarious, amazing sweetheart there ever could be.”

“I mean I don’t bite.” Minho grumbled.

“Actually…” Chan trailed off, thinking about their night together, “You do.”

Minho turned to look at Chan, shocked before both of them burst into embarrassed laughter. Chan did not even bother to hide the goofy grin he had on his face, his cheeks burning.

They reached Minho’s Mercedes and the said man opened the passenger side door for him, waiting for him to get in.

“And they said chivalry was dead.” Chan giggled.

Minho got into the driver’s seat, putting his seatbelt on, inserting Chan’s address on his GPS system.

“So, why are you offering me a ride?” Chan asked as Minho reversed the car from the parking lot.

“I don’t know…” Minho answered, clearing his throat, “I didn’t see your car parked when I came in and didn’t want you to travel in the cold.”

“Well… someone else would have dropped me actually.” Chan replied.

“Why should we take chances?” Minho asked, throwing a quick glance at Chan as he switched lanes.

It felt good to relax around Minho, to joke about their night together instead of being uneasy. Maybe this friendship thing would actually work out. Chan could also tell the man was actually putting in effort, and Minho tend to be nervous around him.

“So, do you have any hobbies or anything?” Minho asked casually.

“Actually, yes, I compose songs.”

Minho glanced at him again, whistling, impressed, “Genius brain.” He uttered.

Chan started laughing again, “No one had ever used that description on me.” He said between breaths.

“Have you released them or anything?” Minho asked.

“No, they aren’t any good actually, so they are just lying in my laptop.”

“I am pretty sure they must be amazing… maybe you could let me listen to them one day.” Minho suggested as the car slowly came to a stop at the traffic light.

Chan fiddled with his fingers as he looked out at the scenery, “One day, when I am confident enough.”

Minho was satisfied with that answer as he started drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Do rich people have hobbies other than going out and getting laid?” Chan asked, regretting a bit as it probably sounded harsh.

“Of course.” Minho sniggered as he started driving again once the light turned green, “I actually love dancing. Maybe one day, I could choreograph a dance for one of your songs.” Minho said wistfully.

“Let us see if you are important enough for that.”

“Ouch.” Minho said, dramatically clutching his heart as Chan snickered.

Minho finally reached his apartment and Chan was starting to feel embarrassed. In comparison to Minho’s grand apartment building, his was just an average block and he probably should have never accepted the ride.

Minho slowly pulled to a stop outside the building.

“My building was probably nowhere near your expectations.” Chan said a slight bitterness lingering in his tone.

The younger man looked at him incredulously, “I honestly don’t care about that, Chan.”

He was probably saying it to be kind, Chan thought to himself.

“Anyways, I will get going…” Chan said, a hand on the door handle.

“Minho will see you again.” Minho replied with a bright grin.

Chan laughed as he got out, shaking his head and shutting the door, watching as Minho drove away.

It soon became a ritual for all of them to get together, meeting up at the café often. Chan could not help but notice that Minho would try to stick close to him, talk to him more than he does with the others and it warmed up his heart. Maybe Chan was overthinking but sometimes he would notice the younger staring at him when he thought he was not looking.

Hyunjin was always coming up with plans for them to do together. Chan felt his stress disappear whenever he was with the group, the two new additions bringing in flavours and personalities of their own. Hyunjin was funny, and a bit of a drama queen. Minho was, _well,_ Minho. He could be savage when he wanted to and had a unique personality. Chan often found himself laughing at everything Minho had said. Both of them were definitely rich, but they never flaunted their wealth. Minho was painfully attractive though and sometimes Chan’s heart had a mind of its own, often beating excessively fast when the man was close to him.

Every brush of Minho’s fingers against his skin made Chan feel goosebumps, and it was all a foreign feeling for him.

However, Chan believed that they were finally at a stage where he could call them his friends and he was happy with the progression.

He wished he could say the same for his work life, which was depressing as usual, save for the new addition that was Jeongin.

A month had passed since the party and it was a Thursday evening when his boss decided to break the doors of hell open, for Chan. He was constantly called into the office and given more and more paperwork to do. On top of that, he had to guide Jeongin on his tasks and make sure there were no mistakes.

His boss called him again into the office when there was half an hour left for work to end.

“Chan.”

His boss, Park Jinyoung, was looking at Chan with no warmth in his eyes.

“I had given you a cheque to mail out a month back. Did you do it? It was very important.”

Chan felt his throat tighten before slowly looking up into those stern eyes. He remembered vaguely getting a cheque to deliver, however he had been really busy that day, since it was the night of the party, so Chan had rushed out as soon as work ended, forgetting all about the cheque.

“Do you have any idea how important that was?”

Chan cast his eyes downwards, telling himself it would be okay and that his boss’s anger would pass.

“I am sorry…I must have forgotten.” he whispered softly.

However, he was wrong.

“Sorry? Of course, you do not know the importance. Do you even know the value of that cheque. Instead of an office job, why don’t you go work somewhere else?” He said, his voice rising with every word and Chan was starting to shake. He had scolded him multiple times before, however they were a hundred times worse today. The words were stinging Chan, and he tried to keep his tears at bay as his boss continued staring at him with distaste.

_Do not cry, it is not worth it._

“You are so useless, it was one simple job, even the rookie who just came in, is more capable than you.” He continued, venom dripping from each and every word. “Just get out now.” He shouted at him, so loud that Chan was pretty sure everyone heard it.

Bowing lowly, he got out of the office and saw heads immediately turn back to what they were doing before eavesdropping on the drama.

He quickly packed his things up, felt a squeeze on his hand and turned to see it was Jeongin, who looked apologetic and mouthed out that it is okay. Chan gave him a small smile before grabbing his bag and jacket, heading towards the elevator. He was feeling so down, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

He wondered just how long he had to put up with this torture. Chan wished he had the confidence or the money to actually go to auditions, but he knew that in order to acquire one audition, he would have to spend a shit load of money which he did not have. Until he could save up enough, he was stuck here.

He got into his car, resting his head on the steering wheel, finally allowing the tears to fall. Maybe it was because he was feeling vulnerable. Maybe it was because Chan had just been disgraced in front of everyone, his confidence in him shattered. Feeling worthless and lost. Maybe it was because he had been invalidated for all his hard work and he was craving for some touch. For some validation and comfort. Maybe the feeling of loneliness was finally getting to him, tiring him out. But Chan’s hand moved automatically to his phone, after wiping away his tears, sending out a message to the one man he knew would not ask too many questions unlike Changbin, Felix or Jisung. To the one man, who could probably make this feeling better...or worse.

He started his car, pulling it out from the parking lot and just then his phone pinged with a notification.

_Chan: Can I come over now?_

_Minho: ??? Sure._

Chan still vaguely remembered the building where Minho lived. The man had given him his address and floor number and he was in the elevator up to the floor. Why was he here and what was he planning on saying to the younger man? Chan did not know what he was doing, his body acting like it was on auto pilot. His mind felt so numb with pain and Chan wanted to feel anything but this emptiness. He saw a glimpse of his reflection on the escalator door and he looked like a mess, his eyes were tinged red from the crying and he looked _defeated._

He rang the doorbell once he reached the door, his head throbbing. He heard footsteps before the door was opened by Minho, standing there with his hair messed up, tie loosely hanging around his shirt, indicating he too, just got back from work.

How did it feel like to be privileged? To work in your own company. To have a life planned out for you on a platinum plate. To not worry about being stuck in a space, never moving forward.

He saw Minho’s lips move, probably asking him if he were okay and before he could stop himself, he pulled him closer by his tie, smashing their lips together. Tasting Minho, and his plump lips. Exploring the warm cavern with his tongue, taking control of the kiss.

 _“I need you.”_ He whispered against Minho’s lips before sucking on his bottom lip. Minho’s eyes widen with shock, before closing them, kissing him back as he pulled Chan inside his apartment, slamming the door shut.


	4. Chapter 4

“So… what was that about?”

They were lying on the bed, naked under the covers, catching their breaths. The sex had been so _blissful,_ so _liberating._ However, now guilt took over Chan at the realization that he had used Minho.

This was wrong. This was _not_ supposed to happen. He sat up on the bed, cradling his knees, starting to feel horrible again. He felt Minho’s arms over him, trying to hold him to stop him from shaking.

“Hey…tell me what is wrong.” He whispered gently.

“Bad day at work.” Chan replied softly. “I am sorry.”

As Minho continued to hold him, Chan realized this was what he had craved for. The feeling after sex, the feeling of losing his frustrations through it, without having to worry about getting tied down by a relationship.

Suddenly Minho’s idea of friends with benefits did not seem too bad.

Chan knew he might not be as strong as he portrayed to be. Even though he never showed his weak side to his friends or to anyone else around him, he knew it was not the best idea to make decisions when he was vulnerable. He knew it was not advisable to ignore all the times his heart had jumped when he came in contact with Minho. However, sitting here, on the bed, wrapped in Minho’s warmth and his scent, Chan could not stop the question from coming out.

“Are you still interested in the idea of friends with benefits?”

He heard a soft gasp from Minho as the man’s arms unwrapped slowly from him, leaving him cold once again.

Great. He probably ruined this too.

“Chan.” Minho spoke softly, turning him around to face him.

“I don’t think you are in a right state of mind to decide that now.”

Chan looked at him defiantly. Maybe he was not sure at first but now, the more he thought about it, the more he needed it.

“I am of the right state of mind now and I am serious about it.”

“Don’t you think…” Minho started, scratching his head slightly, “Don’t you think we have established a friendship now… this might ruin that.”

Chan sighed, “It is not like we are going to fall in love with each other. We can remain as friends, and like you had said, the only thing that would change is we would be having sex.”

Minho searched his eyes to see if there were any tell-tale signs of backing out, finding none.

“I was not fully serious about it that day, Chan.” Minho breathed out. “You don’t need to do this.”

“Fucking hell Minho, I do want to.” Chan replied, raising his voice slightly. “Unless you don’t want to…”

Minho was silent for a while, thinking about it, before –

“Okay. But we need to set some rules.”

Chan knew Minho was trouble ever since he first laid his eyes on him that night back at the bar. However, fate brought them back together again at the party, so maybe fate wanted them to stay connected… just through sex.

“Rule number 1 is extremely important,” Minho was saying, “One should _not_ catch feelings for the other.”

Chan nodded his head, _yeah,_ the man was unbelievably hot and _yes,_ he was so good in bed and _yeah,_ he did smell amazing but that did _not_ mean he was going to fall in love. “You don’t need to worry about that… I don’t do feelings.”

Minho smiled, shaking his head slightly, “Rule number 2, communication is crucial. We need to be honest to each other and this could be from anything to what you like or don’t like…even in bed.”

Looking over at Chan, Minho waited for him to nod again before he went over to the last rule.

“No sleeping together after sex… it could bring about feelings.”

Chan looked up at him, raising his eyebrows.

“You fall in love after some cuddles?” he asked incredulously.

“Not me. But _you_ might fall in love with me if you sleep with me.” Minho replied back, teasingly.

Scoffing, Chan tried to stifle a smile as he told him to fuck off.

“Is that it? The rules?” Chan asked.

“Yes…Unless you want to add more?”

“Let’s not tell anyone…yet.” Chan added in.

‘Why?” Minho inquired.

“I don’t think my friends will be okay with it…they would start lecturing me.” Chan tried explaining, trying to make his tone as gentle as he could.

“Well…okay.” Minho accepted with a shrug.

“So…now what?” Chan asked awkwardly. “I should be leaving…”

Minho glanced at Chan for a while before getting up and going to his huge walk in closet by the wall.

“It’s too late. You can wear my pajamas and we can have a friendly sleepover.”

He came back to the bed, putting down the clothes for him.

“I have work tomorrow.” Chan sighed, the reality hitting him even though he wanted to stay.

“So?” Minho glanced over his shoulder. “I make good breakfast so you could eat, shower, borrow my clothes if you need, and go to work.”

“Didn’t you just say no to sleeping over though?”

“Tonight, does not count.” Minho replied simply.

Chan thought about it for a while, before finally accepting it. He normally did not do this, but deep down he knew the moment he had texted Minho asking if he could come over, it would have led to this and that he wanted it.

“You can take a shower first…” Minho said, a red tinge of embarrassment creeping on his face as he stared at his bare thighs, before throwing him a towel too., “to umm clean yourself up.”

Chan could not help but roll his eyes at that. Gabbing the clothes and the towel, he headed off to the shower and fiddled with the numerous buttons on it, trying to figure out which one was for the hot water and failing.

“Hey Minho.” He called out from the shower, “Show me how the hot water works. I don’t speak rich language.”

Chuckling, Minho walked into the bathroom and stepped into the shower. He was wearing boxers now, but Chan could see the beads of sweat on his toned body and Chan wanted Minho to take him in the shower. However, he should probably not scare him away immediately right after their deal.

Minho pressed a button and the water started pouring out from above immediately, drenching them. It seemed like Minho had the same idea about some shower sex as he stepped back.

Placing his hands-on Chan’s hips, Minho turned him around to face him.

“You are so fucking sexy.” He groaned, reaching down to kiss him.

Chan raised up a finger, placing it on Minho’s lips.

“Are we really going to do this again?” Chan asked, raising up an eyebrow.

“Well, we would be saving water.” Minho smiled sheepishly, “And we could maybe consummate our new deal with this.”

Chan smiled as he moved back, satisfied with that reason, letting out a soft sigh as the warm water hit his skin. He reached out and pulled Minho close, pressing their bodies together, his hands moving down to his boxers, removing them, and discarding them on to the shower floor.

Minho tilted Chan’s chin up, pulling him into a kiss. He gently spun Chan around, pressing him against the shower wall, holding him firmly back against his body.

Minho gently bit his earlobe, kissing his way down his neck, eliciting a moan out of the older man.

“Chan, I want to fuck you again.”

A shiver ran down Chan’s spine, and he started pushing against Minho, wanting to feel the man inside him again.

He felt Minho let go of him, stepping out of the shower stall, before rummaging for something in one of the bathroom cabinets.

Chan pushed back his wet bangs from his eyes, the water constantly running down his face and this was so therapeutic.

He heard the man come back inside, the sound of plastic ripping, before Minho was sliding a condom over his member.

“Do you have condoms lying all over your apartment.” Chan breathed as he steadied himself against the wall, grabbing on to a railing.

“I like to practice safe sex.” Minho muttered as he positioned himself and pushed inside Chan’s body.

Chan let out a sharp moan, rocking back against Minho’s cock, as the younger fucked him hard, against the shower wall. He felt Minho’s grip on his hips tighten, his nails digging into the skin and his body was starting to shake, knees buckling out underneath him, making him almost lose his balance. His hand was leaving prints over the steam that had collected on the shower walls. He gasped out loud as Minho’s thrusts became faster and harder, his hormones were clouding his mind, pulling obscene words out from his mouth.

He felt himself tighten around Minho, feeling himself getting closer and closer before reaching his orgasm. His body went limp, and Minho held him up as he pounded in, finally coming with a loud moan.

The two stayed connected, catching their breath and Minho pulled out gently, discarding the condom. Minho reached out, taking out the shampoo bottle and giving it to Chan before grabbing his shower gel, gently washing Chan’s body all over.

Chan would be lying if he said he did not enjoy this, his horrible night was already forgotten, replaced by these memories of bliss.

He poured the shampoo into his palms before turning around, running his hands through Minho’s copper strands, massaging his scalp gently as Minho hummed in pleasure.

The two finished their shower, and Chan toweled himself dry before putting Minho's pajamas on as the younger pulled on a bath robe, before exiting the bathroom. Minho’s clothes were a bit loose for him, the sleeves going past his wrists.

He stepped out and walked towards the large window that overlooked the city. The view outside was indeed beautiful and he stared up at the stars in the night sky. He felt Minho step up behind him.

“Are you really okay with this?” Minho breathed, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“With what?”

“With the whole benefits thing. Like...” Minho trailed off for a moment, Chan turning back from the window to look at him. “Look, I will be honest with you. I am not one for relationships, I despise them in fact. So, are you really okay with it?”

“Yes, like I said, don’t worry about the feelings.” Chan answered without any hesitation.

“Let’s head off to bed then?” Minho murmured, pulling Chan gently to the bed.

Maybe, this was a huge mistake, Chan wondered as he felt a slight pang in his heart, choosing to ignore it as usual.

Or maybe, this could be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so it begins.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Chan woke up to the smell of pancakes wafting into the room. He checked his phone from the bedside table, it was still quite early, and he had more than an hour to spare before heading off to work. Stretching his joints, he got up, heading to the bathroom. He saw a new toothbrush already lying there by the basin, and some clothes hanging by the door left there by Minho. He quickly brushed his teeth, took a quick shower before changing into the clothes. He was starting to love the feel of Minho’s clothes on his skin, the fragrance so familiar and comforting. Heading out in search of the kitchen, he found Minho flipping some pancakes on a pan. The sight was so domestic, and it stirred something up from the depths of his stomach. Swallowing nervously, he sat by the highchair at the counter, the sound of the chair dragging across the floor making Minho turn back.

Minho threw him a blinding smile before going back to his pan.

“Don’t get too used to this.” He said, his tone teasing. “I am not going to cook every day.”

Chan hummed before replying, “I don’t want to get poisoned by you anyways.”

“Hey. I make the best pancakes in the world.”

“Felix would argue with you on that.” Chan joked around.

He was getting too used to this friendly banter between them, the awkwardness that was once there, dissipating around them.

Turning around, Minho set a plate on his table, with a stack of pancakes, placing a cup of coffee by it.

He sat across the table from Chan with his own plate and coffee.

“Don’t you have work too?” Chan asked him, taking a sip from his cup, letting the bitter notes of the drink wash over him.

“Yeah, but I can go any time I want.” Minho replied, picking at the pancakes.

Ah… to be privileged.

Chan hummed in reply and silence wafted around them as they finished eating. Minho did make amazing pancakes, this man was so good at everything that Chan was no longer surprised.

Minho cleared the dishes once they were done, putting them in the dishwasher.

“I can give you a ride if you want?” He asked, wiping his hands with a dishtowel.

“No, it is okay.” Chan replied, washing his hands. “I drove here.”

“I will be heading out now.” Chan looked up at Minho, lowering his eyes, thinking about what to say.

“Um. Thank you, for last night.” Chan muttered weakly, his voice a mere whisper. “And thanks for the clothes. I will return them once I wash them.”

Minho chortled, putting this dishtowel down, “Don’t thank me, I had fun.” He said as he took a few steps towards him, closing the distance between them.

“Besides, you could keep my clothes, might come in handy if you ever miss me.” He winked.

A shiver went down his spine, and he shuddered involuntary at Minho’s deep voice, pulling out a smirk from the man.

Chan turned, heading towards the door, as Minho followed him, opening it for him. Chan slipped his shoes on, sensing the man’s eyes racking all over his form as he did so. He looked up once he tied his laces, looking straight into those eyes.

“So, I will see you again?” Chan asked, realizing this was like the first time they had sex, except the situation was reversed.

“So now it is no longer a bad idea?” Minho asked, but he was smiling at him, a bit teasingly and Chan smacked him lightly on his arm.

He headed out towards the elevator and as the doors closed, Chan could not help but notice how the last time he had left Minho’s place, he did not have any plans of meeting him again.

Things definitely had changed.

Work, for once, went by peacefully, his boss probably feeling a slight guilt over the things he had said the previous day. Or maybe he realized Chan could sue him for workplace abuse.

“Did you go shopping or something?” Jeongin swirled around in his chair beside him as Chan was showing him how to file the documents.

“What?” Chan looked up confused, “Nope?”

“Oh, because for once, your clothes did not look like they came out from a cheap sale.” Jeongin snickered and Chan kicked at his chair lightly, a small smile on his face.

“I borrowed them from a friend of mine.”

“I need a friend like this too,” Jeongin said after a while, his lips pressed in a straight line, making Chan choke on the air.

“Trust me Innie,” Chan said, looking into the younger boy’s eyes seriously, “You do _not_ need a friend like that.”

Pouting his lips, Jeongin continued swirling around in his chair, making Chan slightly dizzy.

“Stop it or you might throw up your lunch.” He complained when he realized the younger had no intentions of stopping.

Jeongin gradually came to a stop, sulking by the corner instead.

Once he was done with work, he got into his car, driving it back to his apartment. It felt a bit _empty_ as he lied on his bed, in exhaustion. The buzzing of his phone against the wooden surface of his bedside table broke the silence in the bedroom, making the said man get up from his bed, taking the phone in his hands. Unlocking it, he saw the message was from Minho, and the name brought a small smile on his face.

_Minho: I hope your day was better today_

Chan realized that he actually missed the presence of the man already but he knew he should not be so clingy.

_Chan: Yes, it was, hope yours was good too._

_Minho: It was_ _😊_

Chan dropped his phone on to the table, falling back on his bed, feeling happier than he had ever felt in months.

It was easy to fall into a routine with Minho. Chan would always go to the younger man's apartment and the sex would be as fulfilling as always. Unlike before, he did not stay the night, leaving as soon as he washed up, as part of their deal. So far it was going smooth, and Chan could feel himself actually be happy, something he had not felt in so long.

Once, Minho had called him, asking him if he was free and picked him up after work. Throughout the drive, Chan tried to tease Minho, by sliding his hands up his thighs, dangerously close to his cock. Once they reached the safety of the parking lot at Minho’s apartment, Chan could not wait and opted to crawl over to the younger man, straddling him.

It was uncomfortable, with the steering wheel pressing into his back, however he enjoyed the close proximity with Minho and grinded against him, rubbing himself against his bulge. Minho, surprised at first, jumped into action, reclining and pulling his seat backwards so they could have more space and ran his hands up Chan’s shirt, touching his smooth porcelain skin, thumb rubbing against his nipple, making him whimper.

“Someone could see us here.” Minho breathed as Chan continued grinding against him.

“Then let’s put on a good show, huh?” Chan said, his voice laced with pleasure.

Minho was so _turned on._

 _“Fuck.”_ He hissed as he slammed his lips against the older.

They struggled to undress as much as they could of each other. Chan’s shirt was hanging haphazardly from his shoulders, exposing their broadness as he removed Minho’s shirt, throwing it somewhere in the backseat. They undid their pants, pulling them and their underwear down as much as they could. Minho inserted his fingers into Chan’s mouth, watching him suck onto them, coating it with saliva before he removed them with a loud pop. He reached behind grabbing onto Chan’s ass and inserted two fingers in, scissoring him before inserting a third finger, stretching him out as the older shuddered a moan, grappling on to the seat belt to steady himself. Chan leaned down and kissed around Minho's jawline, his mouth trailing kisses all the way to his neck where he bit and sucked at the flesh. He nipped and teased Minho's tanned skin and watched them with pride as they turned pink. 

Minho pulled his fingers out and held onto Chan as he reached out to the dashboard, getting out a condom.

“You seriously are so prepared.” Chan chuckled.

“Were you fantasizing about me riding your dick in this expensive car, Minho-ya.” Chan teased and Minho moaned, at the dirty talk and the use of a nickname.

“A man needs to be safe than sorry.” Minho said with a growl as he bit into Chan’s collarbone making him hiss in pain and pleasure combined.

Chan reached behind himself, holding on to the bottom of the steering wheel as Minho wrapped his member, and spat in his palms, stroking his erection, lubricating it as much as possible.

Chan replaced Minho’s hand with his own, stroking it from top to bottom before sinking down on him, until he is sitting flush in Minho’s lap.

The feeling of slowly sitting down on Minho’s member made stars explode behind his eyes and he stayed motionless for a while. Chan moved his hands to Minho’s neck, playing with the hair at his nape as he got used to the fullness of Minho’s dick all the way inside of him.

“Channie…” Minho moaned, his hands clawing at Chan’s back.

The name sent shivers down Chan’s spine and he started moving, rocking in Minho’s lap.

Chan started whimpering as Minho’s hands tightened on his ass, cleaving it open as he started speeding up his hips.

“Fuck it feels so good.” Minho murmured; each word punctuated by a heaving breath as Chan watched him with lust filled eyes. Sweat coated the sculpture like face and _god_ the man was so sexy, with that red hair of his, so fucking _hot._ The sound of their skin slapping together was the only noise in the car and Chan could feel the steam collecting on the windows.

He never thought that one day he would be riding the dick of a rich guy in his rich car but here he was, moving up and down on Minho’s dick faster and faster, feeling his orgasm build up. Minho was squeezing his ass tighter, and removed a hand to stroke his dick instead, pressing gently at the base making Chan trash on his lap, hitting his head against the rooftop of the car, halting his movement for a while.

“Ouch. Minho. _Fuck.”_ Chan moaned, one hand massaging his head.

Minho laughed, and started thrusting up, trying to get Chan moving again as the older man composed himself and sped up his hips.

Minho continued stroking Chan and soon, pleasure broke over the brunette like a wave making him come over Minho’s fingers as they worked him through his orgasm. Minho, gripped Chan’s thighs hard as the older man continued rocking his hips down, riding him, whimpers falling from his mouth. Minho tensed up as he reached his end, shaking as he came. Chan slowed his hips down, panting hard, still clutching onto Minho’s nape.

Chan leaned back in exhaustion, chest heaving up and down. The two of them jumped in surprise as the car horn went off as Chan accidentally brushed against it when he leaned back. They burst out in laughter, the smiles on their faces so genuine and heart-warming.

“Okay I cannot feel my legs.” Chan laughed, reaching down, and pulling up his pants, shrugging his shirt back on, buttoning it up.

“Do you want to go inside for round 2?” Minho asked, a smirk tugging at his lips.

Chan pressed his lips into a smile as he opened the door, untangling himself from Minho and getting out.

“Come on.”


	6. Chapter 6

A month had passed since their arrangement and so far, none of their friends had suspected anything. Keeping this whole thing a secret from them was tougher than Chan imagined as there would always be those exchanged glances, hidden touches, secretive smiles among the two. Chan always had a tough time hiding the hickeys around his neck and collarbones. He had told Minho once, to leave his neck alone.

_“I have work, I have to meet my friends. I can not go around looking like my neck got ravaged by someone Minho!”_

To which Minho only chuckled, and left more marks, hence, Chan gave up, opting to wear turtlenecks and scarves. Thank god it was not the summer season, otherwise there would be a lot of explaining to do.

Hyunjin had planned a weekend outing for them at a guesthouse somewhere near the countryside and he seemed really excited about it. Minho was coming too, of course, and so was Seungmin, who Chan learnt was Hyunjin’s boyfriend, and also the owner of the guesthouse.

Chan knew his friends were still skeptical about Minho and he was hoping this trip would not hold any complications. Changbin always seemed to know Chan inside out, as he had pulled him aside once and had asked him if there was ever a possibility of being in a relationship with the man.

_“You know, what if he wanted to be your friend so you could date later? Like strangers to friends to lovers au.”_

Chan groaned as he told him what Minho had revealed to him. Minho despised relationships, for whatsoever reason, he did not know.

 _“And yeah, I just wanted to be friends with him anyways.”_ Chan said, guilt taking over him as he hid away the fact that he was having sex with Minho.

He was waiting with Changbin, Felix and Jisung by the café, where Hyunjin had promised to pick them up. Chan was dressed in black as usual, wearing a black tee over black shorts, and a snapback over his dark hair.

Soon, a big caravan, driven by Hyunjin, pulled into the street by the café, the windows rolling down by the passenger side, to reveal an unfamiliar albeit kind and friendly face.

“Hey guys!” the stranger said, smiling at them with a smile so bright, “I am Seungmin. It is so nice to finally meet you all.”

“Please hop in.” The side doors opened, and the sight of Minho, slumped over comfortably on one of the seats, set Chan’s heart racing. He looked _really_ good, dressed in casuals, and a pair of sunglasses perched on his copper red hair. Minho looked up at him as the doors opened, throwing a dazzling smile at him, moving a bit on his seat, gesturing secretly at the empty seat beside him for Chan to sit on.

Chan smiled back, before climbing into the van, setting his backpack down and sliding into the seat. Felix, Jisung and Changbin got in too, taking their seats behind. Seungmin looked behind from his seat and Chan thought this man really resembled a puppy.

“So… you are Felix, Jisung and Changbin? Am I right?” Seungmin said, gesturing at them.

“Wow…I am impressed.” Jisung said.

“Hyunjin made me memorise all of your names and match the faces to them.” He chirped brightly.

“And let me guess… You must be Chan?” Seungmin paused for a while, before adding, “Minho wouldn’t shut up about you.”

“Seungmin, shut up.” Minho retorted, a slight red creeping over his neck that Chan really found endearing, before he looked at Chan and mouthed that he was lying.

As Hyunjin ordered Seungmin to take his seat and announced that they will be driving off now, Chan looked at Minho, with a sparkle in his eyes.

“So, you talk a lot about me huh?”

Shrugging, Minho picked at his sleeves before catching Chan’s eyes.

“He was just curious about the guy who made me want to be friends with him.”

He felt Minho hand on his exposed thigh, moving up slowly, causing goosebumps to appear all over the skin. He stopped the movement with his hand, shoving it away and found Minho smirking slightly.

The rest of the trip went by smoothly and it seemed like Felix and Jisung had softened up to Minho, talking to him about TV shows to movies and other random stuff.

Changbin, on the other hand, joined the conversations but was still distrusting.

“This is actually the first time I am having an outing with a group that did not consist of only Hyunjin and Seungmin.” Minho clarified. “I don’t really have… friends.”

“Why is that the case?” Jisung pressed, “Maybe people are too intimidated to approach you? You do give the cold vibes.”

“Yeah, or maybe because you are too handsome?” Felix chirped from the backseat and Minho eyes crinkled up in the warmest, most amusing smile, causing him to burst out in laughter.

“Maybe that’s the reason.”

“Felix, stop feeding his ego more, he already thinks he is the most handsome.” Hyunjin called out as he changed lanes.

“You are one to talk about ego, Hyunjin.”

“So, Minho, I heard you are not that big in relationships.” Changbin asked suddenly, causing Minho’s laughter to come to a stop.

Chan rolled his eyes, slumping in his seat, “Changbin.”

“You don’t have to answer that.” He said turning to Minho.

Minho smiled at Chan, before turning in his seat to look at Changbin, “Well… I just feel that relationships are filled with nothing but stress and disappointment. Isn’t it a waste of our time and energy?”

“Hey now… not all relationships are bad…” Seungmin said softly from the front.

“Well, I am glad for you two, really. But what you guys have, occurs only once in a blue moon.” Minho pressed on.

Chan shifted in his seat, eyes fixed outside the window, on the passing scenery. He is not going to lie; Minho’s answer did hurt him quite a bit. Times like these, he knew whatever delusional hopes he had of a future between them, should be thrown away. It is not like he was in love with him anyways. It was just purely sex, like how he wanted it to be.

“This is going to be fun.” Jisung murmured awkwardly as he shifted audibly at the back.

“Hey!” Hyunjin said. “It _is_ going to be fun, if we all ignore Minho, the relationships skeptic.” He insisted.

Soon, Hyunjin was pulling up into the biggest most impressive guesthouse Chan had ever seen, his mouth dropping in awe. There was a river flowing at the back, greenery surrounding it and looked like one of the places he had seen only in magazines.

“We are here!!” Seungmin announced from his seat, jubilantly, removing his seatbelt and jumping out as soon as the van was parked.

Chan opened the side door and got out, shielding his eyes from the sun. As they walked into the guesthouse, Chan realised it was even more grand inside. There were multiple bedrooms and a separate room with a jacuzzi, a huge kitchen that was connected to a dining room.

“So, we have this place to ourselves for the weekend, and we have to do everything by ourselves, from cooking to cleaning up.” Seungmin proclaimed.

“Leave the cooking to me.” Felix proudly declared, rolling up his sleeves.

“And, there are four bedrooms, so you guys can decide who to room with.” Hyunjin said, “Seungmin and me will be taking up a room, of course.”

“Changbin, do you want to share the room with me?” Felix asked, looking at the man, who nodded happily.

Chan looked up, his gaze locking with Minho, knowing it would be too much of a risk for them to share a room.

“I will take a room for myself.” Minho said, breaking his eye contact with Chan.

“So that leaves you and me, Channie.” Jisung chirped brightly, wrapping a hand around him and pulling him to the rooms above.

Chan felt a familiar sense of queasiness, as they entered their room to unload their bags, catching a glimpse of Minho as he entered the room next to them. The room was huge, twice as big as his own room and the feeling of not belonging came to him immediately, but he stuffed the sensation down, jaw tight.

They then went back down, and a delicious smell drifted up to their noses, Felix had already started cooking, and by the smell of it, he had outdone himself as usual.

Seungmin walked up into the kitchen, carrying a crate of beer in his arms, Hyunjin towing behind with bottles of alcohol.

“Thank you so much, you are a lifesaver.” Seungmin thanked Felix as he entered.

“I was going to think we were going to starve without any food.”

Felix laughed, waving his spoon around, “As long as I am alive, no one is starving here.”

Seungmin smiled at him sweetly before turning around, “I have come up with a lot of game options, that we could play while we drink.”

“I heard the word drink and I approve of this.” Changbin said, taking a bottle of rum from Hyunjin and unscrewing it.

After they had stuffed their bellies with the mouth-watering dishes cooked by Felix, they cleared the table and sat around, drinking, and playing several games from Pictionary to Never Have I Ever. They were all starting to feel the effect of the alcohol on them.

“Never have I ever kissed a boy.” Hyunjin asked, his voice slurring already with the alcohol.

Everyone around the table groaned as they took a shot from their drink, “Hyunjin you are supposed to ask something that _you_ haven’t done.” Seungmin threw the cushion he was holding at him.

“What? I am trying to make us more drunk.”

“I have one.” Felix waved, swaying slightly on his seat.

“Never have I ever slept with a friend.”

“This game is set up to make Hyunjin and me drunk.” Seungmin complained under his breath as he drank from his cup again, Hyunjin giggling beside him and almost falling off his chair.

Chan was staring at Minho who had picked up his drink absent-mindedly, taking a sip. He hoped no one noticed it but unfortunately, even in his drunk state, Hyunjin had seen it.

“Minho... Did you sleep with Seungmin?” Hyunjin asked him, shock written all over his face.

“Huh?” Minho looked up; genuine confusion written all over his face.

“You only have us as your friends, I know you definitely did not sleep with me…so Seungmin??? Right in front of my salad?”

“Why do you keep assuming I have no friends, I can have friends if I want to.” Minho glared at him. “I have friends in the office, and I slept with them, ok?”

“Ok I know you slept with them, I just did know you considered them as your friends…” Hyunjin trailed off, wondering.

The fact that Minho had slept with the people in his office and see them every day was making him feel uneasy. He knew Minho had slept around before he met him, but he never had the guts to ask him if Minho was still having sex with others.

“Yah. Hyunjin. You are the only one in my life.” Seungmin said, getting up and ruffling his fingers through Hyunjin’s hair.

“I am getting a bit lonely here with all this PDA.” Jisung groaned.

Minho leaned against his chair, draining his cup in one go.

“Why don’t we play something else? Let us go outside and play soccer.” He suggested, aiming for a change of topic.

“Minho, do you think we are in the state to play with balls?” Seungmin giggled, opening up a can of beer.

“I don’t mind playing with _balls.”_ Hyunjin laughed, making the others groan at that horrible joke.

“C’mon, it would be even more fun to play when we are drunk.” Minho said, getting up from his chair and heading to the door. His eyes moved among them, settling onto Chan, waiting for an answer.

“Let’s go,” Chan said, standing up, wobbling a bit on the spot, before he pulled up Changbin who started groaning, getting up with him.

The rest of them followed reluctantly, going through the doors to the backyard outside. Minho picked up a ball, trying to spin it on his finger, and failing.

“Can you even play?” Chan asked, laughing, as he saw Minho attempting to kick the ball.

“I am one of the best.” Minho answered proudly.

“Ok let’s divide into teams.” Jisung instructed, surprisingly steadier than Chan expected him to be.

“We need to separate the lovebirds, so Hyunjin and Seungmin you both can be the leader, or whatever.” Jisung continued.

“Ok I want Chan in my team.” Hyunjin announced to his surprise, grabbing the said man, and dragging him along. 

The teams were divided after more chaos, with Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung and Felix in one team and Seungmin, Minho and Changbin in the other _(“We will beat you guys even if we are one member short,” Changbin had bragged.)_

The game, safe to say, was a mess, with everyone trying to trip the other, and no one taking it seriously. Chan watched as Minho skid across the field, perspiration trickling down his neck, dribbling the soccer ball. He tried to tackle him, but Minho managed to dodge him, passing the ball over to Changbin as he bolted over to the end where Hyunjin was goalkeeping.

Felix jumped on to Changbin’s back, coming up with various ways to prevent them from scoring, and Changbin managed to pass the ball back to Minho, who caught it and slammed his foot straight into the ball. It soared through the air and Hyunjin jumped to catch it, missing it by a hair, and it hits the net. Minho smirked at Hyunjin who was lying sprawled on the field, turning around, and shrieking in exuberance, cheering as he sprinted across the field, running towards Changbin, and pulling him into a hug. The latter hugged him, jumping with him in rounds.

Chan did not know why, but he watched the scene unfold with a smile on his face, it was making him happy to see Changbin warming up to Minho, finally.

He saw Minho looking around, his gaze locking with him, and he came running towards him. Before Chan could react, Minho had collided with him, toppling them over, Chan’s back hitting the ground.

“Ow, what was that.” Chan huffed out.

“Told you we could still beat you even with one player less.” Minho laughed, snuggling his face into Chan’s neck, squashing him with his weight.

“Get off me now.” Chan ordered, but he was laughing too, feeling light-hearted with the alcohol in the system, and all he wanted to do was to pull Minho closer, to kiss those lips.

“You guys look like you are humping each other.” Seungmin laughed, walking over to them, kicking lightly at Minho’s back.

Minho struggled to get up from the ground, extending a hand and helping Chan up, patting his back, the sensation lingering along his back long after he had removed his hand. Perspiration was trailing down Minho’s neck and it reminded him of all their nights together, heat rushing to his face.

“We went easy on you guys, by the way.” Jisung snorted mischievously.

“Sore loser…” Changbin cackled, grinning smugly.

“I don’t know about you guys…” Hyunjin said, cackling, “I am going to go back inside, take a shower and get more drunk.”

Everyone nodded in unison, the idea sounding great.

After a quick shower, Chan stepped out to see Changbin sprawled on his bed, hair still wet and water dripping from the strands, startling him.

“You scared me.” Chan laughed, holding a hand to his heart.

Changbin snickered, getting up and leaning against the bed frame.

“Jisung went down to get more drinks into his system… are you joining?” Changbin asked him.

“Yeah sure.” Chan said, walking over to bed and curling on it, head lying weakly on Changbin’s lap.

Changbin chuckled, fingers stroking Chan’s hair slowly as he melted into it in pleasure.

“Is everything okay?” He asked softly.

“Yeah…” Chan sighed, his head consisting of thoughts of Minho only.

“What is up between Minho and you?” Changbin was looking down at him, his fingers still massaging Chan’s scalp.

“Nothing?” Chan answered, guilt tugging at his heart.

“There seems to be some kind of tension between you two.”

“Well…like you said, when you become friends with someone who you had slept with…it gets kind of awkward.” Chan trailed off, looking everywhere except at Changbin.

“I don’t mean that kind of tension.” Changbin replied. “I have been getting some vibes from you two.”

Just then, a figure came to the door, calling out Chan’s name, saving him from answering to Changbin.

“Chan?” It was Minho, leaning against the door as he called out, “You have a minute?”

Chan raised his head from where he was lying on Changbin’s lap, to see the man’s eyes move from him to Changbin, with an indecipherable look.

“Oh…” Chan hesitated for a while, exchanging glances with his friend who shrugged and shooed him away, before getting up from the bed.

“Yeah sure.”

Minho started walking to his room with Chan following behind.

“Is everything good?” Chan asked once they were inside, and Minho had closed the door.

“What is going on between Changbin and you?” Minho asked and for a second, Chan was in shock. The frown lines on Chan’s forehead increased.

“What is wrong with you two?” Chan snapped at him. “He is asking me what is going on between us and you are asking me what is going on between Changbin who, is my lifelong friend, and me.”

“You both looked cosy…” Minho said trailing off awkwardly.

Chan sighed, he did not have to give an explanation to Minho, he was not doing anything wrong.

“He is my best friend, so we are close.” He finally replied, looking straight into Minho’s eyes.

“Well… was that it? Can I go now?” Chan asked, realising Minho was not going to speak.

“Wait.” Minho reaching out, grabbing Chan’s hand.

Chan’s eyes moved to Minho’s hold, smirking up at the said man.

“So, seemed like someone missed me.”

“Honestly, to me, it seemed like someone could not stop staring at me while we were playing outside.” Minho shot back, letting go of his hand.

“Minho…” Chan started. “If you only called me here to ask me about Changbin… were you jealous?”

“Why would I be jealous?” Minho returned back, taking a step forward, placing a hand on the older man’s cheek, head tilting down, to kiss his lips, “When I am pretty sure no one could make you feel like this.”

“Excuse me.” Chan said as he lightly pushed Minho back. “You aren’t special, mister.”

“We will see about that.” Minho smirked as he pulled Chan close to him, joining their lips together, encasing them in warmth.

Chan’s entire body softened, leaving nothing but a sigh between them, as Minho led them backwards to the bed.

“But you did look sexy out there.” Chan admitted biting gently on Minho’s lip before landing softly on the bed, moving up as he pulled Minho closer to him, earning for more warmth from the man. Just like an addiction, he needed _more_ of the kisses, _more_ of the touches.

“Hey, why am I never the top?” Chan murmured, pulling away from Minho.

Minho snickered, his hands moving behind to grab Chan’s ass, “Fight for it then.”

Chan gave a tiny growl as he switched their positions with a swift movement, his hand removing Minho’s shirt.

The man was startled at first but raised his hands to get rid of the shirt.

Chan moved down, peppering kisses all over the toned body, nipping at places, moving lower until he reached Minho’s pants, his mouth hovering over the man’s bulge, teasing.

Minho’s hand moved down to grab on to Chan’s dark hair, tugging at it and eliciting a sharp hiss of pain from him.

Chan hooked his fingers in the waistband and was in the process of removing it when suddenly the door opened with someone walking right in.

“Minho! We are planning on starting our second round with or without yo- “The voice stopped there for a while as Chan jumped away from Minho, his heart thudding fast against his ribcage.

“Oh, my _fucking god._ MY EYES!”

It was Seungmin who had walked in and was retreating, fast, covering his eyes and screaming that he had lost his sight.

_Fuck Fuck Fuck._

Chan rushed after Seungmin, as Minho followed him, grabbing his shirt from the floor, and putting it on.

The commotion was enough to have brought Changbin out from Chan’s room and everyone else rushed upstairs.

“What happened?” Hyunjin asked, panting for breath as he had run up the stairs.

“Did you know these two were a thing?” Seungmin asked frantically, pointing to Chan and Minho.

“I mean yeah, Minho told us remember. They hooked up once and that’s how they became friends.” Hyunjin explained matter-of-factly.

“No, they were clearly still hooking up.” Seungmin stated. “Either that or maybe Minho had lost something in his pants and Chan was searching for it… with his mouth.” All the eyes hovered over them, taking in Minho’s swollen lips, Chan’s messy hair sticking up in different directions and there was guilt written all over them.

“Okay…I think we need to talk.” Minho finally spoke up, glancing over at Chan, when the silence became too overbearing.

“My eyes…my poor innocent eyes…” Seungmin was groaning repeatedly.

“Ok.” Hyunjin said, taking control of the situation. “You owe Seungmin a new pair of eyes.” He said pointing to Minho, “And you two need to explain whatever the shit is happening here.” He finished, gesturing at them both.

“And I definitely need more drinks in me for this conversation.” Minho stated, moving past them, and going downstairs.

It was hard trying to avoid his friends’ stares burning a hole right at his back as he moved to follow Minho downstairs. As they sat around the table again, Chan looked around the table, sighing in exasperation.

“It is nothing serious, we just fuck for fun.”

“So, like, friends with benefits?” Hyunjin inquired, sipping on his drink.

“I guess so…yeah.” Minho asserted, “So can we all be grownups about it and let it go?”

Chan was looking at his friends, who were quiet throughout all this. He could see Changbin’s jaw clenching and knew he was in trouble.

“Since when?” Changbin asked.

“A month…I had a really bad day at work.” Chan specified, fiddling with his fingers.

“Chan…” Felix was the first to break the silence. “I don’t know what to make of this, mate.”

“You could have just come over to us, why him?” Jisung asked, bit of disappointment lingering in his tone. “No offence, Minho.”

“None taken.” The man replied immediately.

Chan sighed softly, he himself did not know the exact reason why. “I had to let go off some steam and I did.”

“Why not a proper relationship though?” Jisung asked.

“Well…for one, I don’t do relationships, and we both agreed that we needed to let off some steam and what is a better way than sex? Plus being friends would help us understand each other more.” Minho said nonchalantly. “And we do not have to deal with the complications of a relationship.”

“You are an idiot.” Changbin spoke up, looking at Chan sternly.

“You are getting yourself into a mess here. Friends with benefits? Heck, are you guys even friends?”

Chan flinched a little at those words. Yes, Changbin had a point, they definitely fucked before they could call themselves friends. Nonetheless, they were on a path to friendship, and even if they were not friends for long, there was something about Minho that Chan trusted blindly.

“I would like to think we are friends.” Minho answered, his tone a bit cold.

“What Changbin meant was,” Felix continued, placing a hand on Chan’s. “You guys don’t know each other well and could get hurt.”

Chan knew that they meant well but he could not help but get a little worked up over it.

“I think I know what I am getting myself into, I am a grown ass man.” Chan snapped at them, getting up from his chair and heading towards the stairs to go back to his room.

He could hear some whispers and sounds of chairs being dragged back as he walked up.

He fell on to his bed, sighing loudly, this was why he never wanted them to know about this. He knew they were scared for him, but he was capable of making his own decisions. The door opened, and Jisung, Felix and Changbin walked in slowly, sitting on the other bed.

“Sorry if I was being unreasonable.” Changbin started.

Chan huffed in reply, turning his face away from them.

Changbin sighed, “Chan, you haven’t even had a proper relationship, all your flings last for a night.” He said, his tone serious, as he looked up at Chan again. “All I am saying is, this would be the first time, you would be seeing the same person multiple times, and you have to be careful. What if you end up falling in love with him when he clearly had stated he doesn’t do relationships?”

“That’s the point.” Chan retorted, turning back to face them, “ _I_ don’t want a freaking relationship either. Why does everyone assume I am the one who would be falling for him? What if he did? Or am I just some average looking idiot that would fall in love with the first guy I have sex with multiple times while he gets bored of me?” The frustration was boiling inside of Chan now, mostly at himself for getting into this but also at his friends for not understanding his point of view.

“That was not what I meant,” Changbin snapped back before Jisung placed a hand on his shoulder, calming him.

“Hey Channie.” Jisung spoke softly. “We support you, and as long as you don’t get hurt, we are okay with it.”

“We are a little hurt that you hid this from us for so long.” Felix muttered gently.

Chan stared at nothing in particular for a while, trying to get his emotions back in check before looking back at his friends.

“I really need this.”

“Okay,” Changbin shook his head slowly, “But, you do know the consequences, right? People who have sex with each other for fun…it always ends up badly when someone catches feelings for the other.”

Chan nodded. He knew it and he was okay with it.

“Then as long as you are happy, I am happy. If he ever hurts you, I am going to punch his pretty face.”

Chan smiled, his spirits lifting up, a little.

“Sure.”

After Felix and Changbin moved to their rooms, Chan covered himself up in blankets, a bit relieved that they did not have to hide whatever they have, with his friends anymore.

“Hey Chan…?” Jisung called out in the dark, his voice a soft whisper in the air.

“Hm?”

“Is Minho really good in bed? For you to keep going back to him?” Jisung sniggered.

Chan clutched the blankets tighter and wished he could smack Jisung right now.

“I am not answering that.”

“C’mon, I am genuinely curious to know how a guy managed to keep nailing Bang freaking Chan multiple times without him running away or getting bored.”

“Jisung I swear to god I am going to make you sleep out in the backyard.” Chan said, glad for the darkness so it could hide his pink face.

“Okay sorry, good night.” Jisung mumbled, trying to hold back his sniggers.

Chan waited until Jisung ceased laughing and silence took its place, then –

“Jisung?”

“Yeah?”

“He is _really_ good in bed.”

This set Jisung whistling and cat calling, and Chan was regretting it.

The next morning was, a bit awkward. Changbin had gone back to shooting daggers at Minho with his eyes and Minho found it amusing to fluster Chan by patting on his butt whenever Changbin was close by. Chan was getting tired of these childish antics and wish everyone would be a grown up.

Seungmin was still complaining about his eyes which led to Minho retorting back with, _“If you were making a big fuss out of that, you should see what we actually do in bed.”_ And Chan thought it was not possible to be this embarrassed. _Ever_.

He was staring out the window, looking at nothing in particular, when suddenly there was a hot whisper of air against his ear.

“Do you want to use the jacuzzi? Together?” It was Minho, and his whisper sent shivers along his spine. He stared at him incredulously, not believing that this man was actually for real.

“The tip of your ears turned so pink.” Minho chuckled, falling into a seat next to him. “I was joking, don’t worry.” Chan wondered what happened to the Minho who was always nervous around him.

“So” Jisung asked as he plopped into a seat in front of them. “How does this work?”

“How does what work?” Chan asked him.

“Well… the whole doing the naughty while being friends thing.”

Chan choked at that while Minho burst out with laughter.

“Jisung.” Changbin said, coming over to their table. “You are a grown ass man and you could not even say the word ‘sex’.” He shook his head in disappointment.

“I cann _ot_ believe minchan were having seksy time behind our backs all this while.” Felix mentioned dramatically as he followed behind Changbin.

“Oh my god, Minho, all this time you told me you were _finally_ getting some good fucking. It was _Chan?_ Not someone from your office? _”_ Hyunjin called out, dragging Seungmin with him as he joined them.

“Ok _first._ ” Chan said, his ears getting pinker with each statement. “I am _so glad_ you are all now gathered around this table. I _really_ wanted your company.” His voice dripped with sarcasm.

 _“Second._ What the fuck is a minchan. Ok no do not answer that.” He said when he noticed Felix was going to explain.

“ _Third.”_ He continued turning to glare at Minho. “You spoke about our sex experiences with Hyunjin?”

“And me.” Seungmin stated, hiding behind Hyunjin as Minho turned to shoot a glare at him.

“What the fuck, Minho?” Chan asked.

“Hey in my defence, Hyunjin kept telling me to get laid so I told him I _was_ getting laid. And I said good fucking, so it was a compliment.” Minho said. “That was all, I promise.” He finished, looking at Chan apologetically.

“Plus, we would have figured it out anyways, he had all these marks all over him and either he was getting laid or an angry mosquito was out for his blood.” Hyunjin mentioned nonchalantly.

Chan groaned as he hid his face beneath his fingers.

“So, who is going to answer my question?” Jisung asked, his eyes eager with anticipation.

“I will take this one.” Minho said with a sigh. “Well we are friends, right? But then we, uhm, fuck? When we want to?”

“Interesting.” Jisung hummed. “So, like don’t you guys feel awkward?”

“Surprisingly, nope.” Minho answered. “It actually felt natural.” He looked at Chan, an eyebrow raised, asking him if he felt the same.

“Yeah… there is no awkwardness.” Chan replied. “But this here,” he said indicating to them all around the table, “Is fucking awkward.”

They all burst out in laughter. “Sorry mate, we won't interrogate you like this anymore.” Felix said.

“Yeah. Just try not to mess it up.” Changbin said, a bit serious.

“It is going to be cool, as long as we stick by our rules.” Minho reassured them. “Now please, can we change the topic?”

Thankfully, they steered to a different topic after that. Hyunjin was listing out a list of activities he wanted to do with the group, mentioning how he could never plan outings meant for bigger groups as it was hard for Minho to get along with anyone.

 _“So thankful to the Gods up there that you guys slept together otherwise we would still be a group of 3 and that is just boring.”_ Hyunjin ranted on.

Chan joined in the conversations half-heartedly, not really paying much attention but agreeing along. His mind was busy overworking itself thinking whether it was going to be awkward since the group knew about them. He knew they could not even be happy for them as they were not in a relationship, but if things ended badly between them, it might affect the group too. But this was just Chan overthinking as usual. It was funny how for an overthinker like him, he jumped into the whole friends with benefits deal _without_ any thinking done. But like Minho had said, it should be fine if they stuck to the rules so that should be easy right?

“A penny for your thoughts, Chan?”

Hyunjin asked, startling Chan in his seat.

“What?”

“You zoned out… you can dream about Minho later, please focus now.”

He probably also had to get used to the teasing that would be thrown their way occasionally now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else is still crying over minchan in blueprint because I am.


	7. Chapter 7

Chan was starting to get a headache from all the questions and teasing that were being thrown their way and he wanted to relax and soothe his nerves down. He waited until everyone were outside, doing their own things like taking photos or walking along the river and he headed off to the room with the jacuzzi. The room itself was beautiful, dimly lit up by an orange glow, and everything was made of marble with a huge jacuzzi tub in the middle of the room. Long white linen curtains hanged from the window and there were several fluffy towels in a corner.

Chan moved forward, looking around in awe, his footsteps echoing off the walls. He turned on the motor and the water started getting expelled from the jets, filling the enormous tub with warm water. He went through the bath bombs, throwing in everything that seemed interesting from musk to orange to strawberry and one that was called the Death Star. When the tub was full of hot water, foam and bubbles, Chan stripped his clothes off, and slid into the tub. The relief was immediate, and he sighed in pleasure, as the water from the jets soothed his sore muscles, finally being able to get some alone time.

Just then the door opened with a click, and Chan sat up in surprise, changing to embarrassment when he saw it was Minho.

“What are you doing here?” Chan exclaimed, gathering the soap bubbles around himself so Minho would not see him naked.

“You do know I have seen you naked before, right?” Minho asked, an amused smile tugging at his lips.

“Minho, get the fuck out.” Chan hissed softly, “Anyone could see us!”  
He watched as Minho locked the door and strolled towards the tub, “Yeah, but we aren’t hiding from them anymore.” The younger man leaned down to whisper against Chan’s ears, “Also if you ask me, I think you wanted me to fuck you, or else why was the door unlocked?”

Chan shivered, hoping the younger man did not notice it as goosebumps erupted over his skin.

“I know you don’t mind me joining you.” Minho continued, trying to keep it breezy but there was a distinct note of excitement in his voice as he started stripping down naked and getting into the tub, opposite to Chan.

Chan rolled his eyes, still trying to cover his body with the soap bubbles, “Have you heard of personal space? It is something people try to respect around here.” Chan said, his voice dripping with sarcasm as Minho chuckled.

“I don’t like to leave people alone.” Minho smiled at him.

“Why don’t you come over here and sit on my lap?” The younger man smirked at him, patting at his thighs, “It is going to be more comfortable.”

“Minho… shut up.” Chan mumbled feeling himself turn red.

“Just come over here.” Minho repeated, pouting his lips, and the older man groaned as he made his way over. As he neared Minho, he stopped, raising his hands, and splashing the water straight at the man, catching him by surprise.

“What the – “

Minho spluttered before grabbing a giggling Chan and pulling him straight into his lap, the water splashing out with their activities.

“You little shit.” Minho growled, his fingers tangling in Chan’s dark tresses, before leaning in and catching Chan’s lips in a breath-taking kiss. Chan opened his lips slightly to breathe, but they were instantly attacked by plump seeking ones, a wet tongue penetrating them. Chan’s hands grasped on Minho’s shoulders, hugging his neck, tangling his fingers on the hair that is growing out at the back of his head. Minho then reached behind to grab his butt cheeks, pulling him against his crotch and the pleasure was so immense that Chan let out a loud moan.

Chan started rolling his hips, rubbing his arousal against Minho’s erection which was already hard, and Chan _needed_ Minho in him now, as he looked at the younger man, eyes filled with want.

“I don’t have a condom with me, Chan.” Minho suddenly said.

Chan’s eyes widened as he tried to move away from Minho’s tight hold and failing.

“What? You are always so prepared; how did you _not_ bring condoms?” Chan asked incredulously.

“Well…I wasn’t thinking straight when I came here and also, I may have wanted to come inside your tight hole.”

The way Minho looked at him as he said those words sent all the blood straight down to Chan’s cock. Chan spluttered at his words, and he knew he was bright red judging by the heat he could feel all over his face.

“Relax, I get tested every month, I am clean.” Minho said rolling his eyes but grinning at him mischievously.

“I am not going to let you come inside me.” Chan said in a choked voice, trying to deny the truth that he was feeling deeply turned on.

“We are in a jacuzzi, it would be easy to clean up.” Minho said matter of factually. “Don’t you want to feel my warm liquid filling you up to the brim?”

“M-Minho, stop.” Chan blushed, stuttering and looking away to avoid Minho’s sultry eyes.

“Awww, someone is shy.” Minho lowered his voice, leaning forward and dragging his teeth on Chan’s neck, jerking his hips up.

Chan shivered in his hold, and his mind was delirious with pleasure and the idea of feeling Minho’s raw member inside him was making him feel even more tingly.

“Ok, do it.” Chan whispered and he felt Minho still before he caught his eyes.

“You have been waiting for this, haven’t you?”

“Minho, I swear to god, I will leave you and your boner here if you don’t shut up.” Chan whined. Minho laughed softly, and Chan felt a finger prodding at his entrance, slowly pushing past the tight ring of muscles. Chan hid his face on the crook of Minho’s neck, letting out soft moans as Minho continued to add in more fingers, stretching the man.

“You can be loud with your moans; I don’t think anyone is still here.” Minho breathed against the lobe of his ear, nibbling on it as Chan moaned again, louder this time.

“Are you ready?” Minho asked, removing his fingers as the older man nodded his head. Minho stroked his member several times before Chan grabbed the erect member and lowered himself on it slowly. He had sex with Minho many times before, but _never_ in a tub, and _never_ without a condom. He could feel Minho’s raw member deeply sheathed inside him and Chan took a deep breath. 

This was the first time Minho was inside Chan, with no plastic sheath covering his length and the feeling was so indescribably intense as he could feel his tight walls clenching around Minho's raw length.

The soapy water had long turned cold around them and the only sounds that were surrounding them were the sound of water sloshing around them accompanied by their raspy breathing and Chan's quiet moans.

Chan held onto Minho for balance as he dragged his ass up slowly, and slammed his body down on Minho's shaft, taking it all in. Chan continued this motion, bouncing up and down on Minho's lap, increasing his pace and driving them both to the edge. The water from the tub was spilling outside with every movement, creating a mess, but the two of them were too far gone to even care.

Minho started thrusting up in different angles, knowing he found his prostate when Chan arched his back, inhaling sharply.

“C’mon scream your heart out.” Minho growled, _“Scream for me.”_

Minho switched their positions in one swift motion, splashing around, with Chan now leaning against the wall of the tub as Minho continued pounding into him relentlessly. Chan gave up on being quiet, the pleasure already becoming too intense for him.

“ _Fuck. Minho. Oh yes. Yes harder, I said go harder you bitch.”_ Chan swore, biting hard on his bottom lip as Minho obeyed him.

Minho then grabbed one of Chan’s thighs, hooking it over the edge of the tub, opening him up even wider for him to go in deeper and Chan was now screaming obscene words about how good it felt.

There was something thrilling about being fucked in a Jacuzzi and Chan held on to the edge of the tub so that he would not drown in the shallow water as Minho went even faster. He felt the bottom of his belly tightening and he moved one hand to wrap around Minho’s neck, clinging to him and raising his body slightly off the floor of the tub.

“Minho…I am going to come.” Chan panted between breathes and Minho pulled out and pounded in even deeper.

Chan closed his eyes and gritted his teeth as his body started spasming, coming onto Minho’s stomach with an extremely loud moan, trying to clear his vision from the colourful lights flying around.

Minho continued thrusting hard a few more times before his pace started wavering and he let out a string of curses as he finally came into Chan’s hole.

Chan could feel his insides being filled and he was not going to lie, he greatly enjoyed this sensation and would love for it to be a permanent thing. Minho gently set Chan back, leaning him against the wall of the tub as he kissed him lazily.

“You know…I have a tub back at home.” Minho winked at him, as he broke away from the kiss.

Chan smacked him on his arm, “I really don’t want to drown.”

Minho pulled out as Chan hissed at the sudden emptiness. “Don’t be too greedy for my dick, Channie.” The younger man laughed, as Chan tried to shoot daggers at him from his tired eyes.

Both of them washed up and tried to clean the room as much as they could and they went down after getting dressed. To Chan’s surprise, Jisung was already seated at the table, casually scrolling through his phone.

“Where are the others?” Chan asked, clearing his throat as he got two glasses out of the cabinet to pour themselves a glass of water. 

“They are still outside but they will be back soon.” Jisung muttered, not looking up from his phone.

Chan passed Minho a glass of water and jumped as Minho smacked him on his butt as a thank you, shooting a glare at him after.

“So, what did you two do?” Jisung asked, peering up at them innocently from his phone.

Chan felt the heat creeping over the back of his neck as pulled a chair out, sitting on it, “Well I took a bath in the Jacuzzi, and relaxed.”

“Yeah and I just watched a movie.” Minho said sliding into a seat next to Chan.

“Was the movie a porn by any chance Minho? And were you watching it with Chan in the Jacuzzi tub?” Jisung asked, the beginnings of a smirk turning his lips up, and Chan choked on his water, spitting it out on the table and going into a coughing fit as Minho, who remained unflustered, patted him on his back.

“Chan, you are so fucking loud, could you please keep it down next time?” Jisung complained, rubbing his forehead, “Better yet, could you two keep it in your pants when you are with us.” He finished, crossing his arms in front of him and snickering at them.

Chan wished the floors would open and swallow him up as Jisung continued to hoot at them.

“Ah fuck.” The man said, stopping in midst of his laughter, “I wanted to use the Jacuzzi but now… I hate it here.” Jisung groaned, sinking back in his chair and sulking.

* * *

Time had a habit of passing by quickly when it was all fun and games. Two months had passed by since their friends had found out about them and it took a lot of bribing for Chan to stop Jisung from telling everyone else they had sex in the Jacuzzi.

Minho and Chan’s schedule consisted of them meeting once or twice in two weeks to have sex after a long hectic work schedule. They strongly stuck by it, not wanting to overdo it and so far, they had loads of fun. It was not as awkward as Chan expected it to be whenever they met up with the group which was almost every week. Their friends had stopped interrogating them or teasing them thankfully, and everything was going on smoothly, too smooth in fact. Minho was very strict about the no staying over rule, and there were times when Chan would be too tired to drive home, thanks to Minho going really hard at him, and Minho would personally call up a chauffeur to drive Chan’s car and help him reach home. This was a tad extra, and Chan had complained and even fought about it, but the younger man could be a bit stubborn at times. They never even went anywhere together, their only meet up place being Minho’s apartment.

The group had all taken a photo together at the countryside and Seungmin had finally printed it out for them, sending each one a copy and Minho stared at the framed photo on his table, with an endearing smile. His arms were draped casually over Chan’s shoulders as they posed with the group, genuine smiles on their face with the backdrop of the river. It was hard to think about the last time he probably felt this happy.

Minho was working late in the office on a Thursday night, having an international call with one of his clients and it ended up with him losing out on the deal. He was tired and disheartened even though he knew he tried his best. Unfortunately, sometimes, it was so difficult to get a deal. He got up, grabbing his things before leaving. As he walked past his father’s office, he heard him call out his name, making him stop in his steps in surprise. Minho wondered how the news traveled this fast. His relationship with his father was estranged, and they hardly spoke to each other unless it was at parties, to put on an act.

He opened the door, taking a step in and closed the door behind him nervously.

“Minho, son, come in and take a seat.”

Minho took a few steps closer to the table where his dad was seated, however he opted to stand, preferring for this conversation to be over as soon as possible.

His father did not offer a seat again, putting away his papers before looking at the redhead sternly.

“Minho, I am getting old, as you know.” He said, clearing his throat. “And the company is going to go to you. I want you to start being more responsible and show more interest in this.”

Minho rolled his eyes. All his life he had been doing what his father wanted him to do, giving up his own dreams in the process and still it was not enough. It was never enough.

“In case you did not realize, I have been pouring all my time into _your_ company dad.”

“Stop saying it like that. This is your company too and I want you to feel like it.” His father lectured him, “I feel like you couldn’t understand how businesses work? Lately, you have been slacking off, and I thought you were smart, but I feel like you just want to waste all my hard-earned money on worthless things.” He could feel the disappointment in his father’s tone as he continued.

“Why is it so hard for you to continue with what I have already established and maybe put your efforts in finding a nice rich woman to marry and giving me heirs.” Each and every word that came out of his father’s mouth stabbed into Minho’s heart and he never felt this hopeless before. He wanted to get out of there.

“Gee, thanks dad, you always know how to make me feel better.” Minho replied back bitingly. He turned away walking towards the door.

“Stop disappointing me son.”

Those words rooted Minho to the floor. After all he had done, he would always be a disappointment to his father. To his shock, he found tears welling up in his eyes and he blinked them back rapidly.

“Goodnight dad.” He said, his voice cold, before pulling the door open and exiting.

Minho wanted a distraction. This was a common occurrence between his father and him. Every day he would find something to blame Minho for. Every day he would invalidate his feelings. Never once, had Minho done something that had made him happy.

He picked up his mobile, scrolling through the contacts before stopping at one. It was the middle of the week and it was quite late, he wondered if Chan was asleep.

_Minho: Are you down for tonight?_

The reply came around five minutes later.

_Chan: To fuck?_

_Minho: What else?_

_Chan: Uhm, I am at home, so maybe you could come over?_

Minho thought about the idea for a while. Other than dropping Chan at his apartment that one night, he had never gone over to his place to have sex. Thinking that it might be too intimate, and it was better to stick to one fixed location which was his apartment. Minho was also a man, who stuck by his rules. However, he could not be bothered about that now, as he wanted to release his frustrations. He texted Chan back.

_Minho: Send me your address._

The ride to Chan’s apartment was tense. Minho was rethinking if this was a good idea, sure they had fucked many times before but then, Minho was in control of his emotions. Right now, he was a mess. He soon reached the building, parking his car and dropping a text to the older man.

He got out of his car as Chan said he would be down shortly.

Leaning against his sleek Mercedes, he took out a cigarette, lighting it up and taking a drag feeling his nerves calm down. He watched as Chan finally came out of the elevator, walking towards the gate and swiping his card. Minho took the appearance of the older man in from head to toe. His hair was ruffled up, pointing in different directions, indicating that he just got up from bed. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, the sleeves falling past his wrists, and a tiny pair of shorts. Chan was bare faced, and it made him look more _natural._ In this outfit and with the wind blowing gently against the messy strands of his hair, Chan looked so delectable, and Minho wanted to just wreck him right here, maybe against his car.

However, he controlled his urges, putting his cigarette out and walking towards Chan.

“It is a bit late isn’t it? And isn’t it work night?” Chan asked, quirking up an eyebrow, folding his arms in front of him.

“Yeah…” Minho sighed. “I just needed a distraction.”

Chan was looking at him, trying to decipher his thoughts but he finally turned around, gesturing at him to follow him.

As Minho followed Chan into the elevator, he could feel the man tense up, fidgeting with his nails. There was just something about the man standing next to him and he felt like he could read his emotions.

“I am sorry in advance.” Chan finally said, looking at his reflection on the closed doors.

Minho straightened up, looking at Chan, puzzled.

“For what?” He asked.

“Well…” Chan trailed off as the elevator doors opened. “My apartment might not be as comfortable as yours.” He said looking over his shoulder before walking to his door.

Minho was used to lavish buildings and grandeur and maybe before, he would have laughed at the idea of having sex at a normal apartment. Somewhere, somehow, things changed.

Minho smiled at the older man, “Like I said before, I really do not care about that.”

They stepped inside the apartment, removing their shoes in the entryway.

“It is a bit messy…” Chan finished as he flipped on the light.

Chan’s apartment… looked like him if that made sense. It felt like _home,_ like _Chan._ He could feel the comfort radiating from the apartment.

He watched as Chan walked into the kitchen.

“Do you want anything to eat? Or drink?” He called out.

“No, I am okay.”

“Not even some beer?” Chan asked cheerfully, popping up from the kitchen with two cans.

Minho chuckled accepting a can from him as he sat on the couch.

“Is everything okay?” Chan asked in concern, sitting beside him, knees slightly touching.

Minho hummed in reply, the conversation with his father still replaying in his mind.

“Yeah. Just a bit stressed.”

“I didn't think you would know the meaning of stressed. You are always so calm and collected.” Chan answered but there was a smile playing at his lips teasingly.

Minho took a swig from his beer, gulping it down.

“Well, you were wrong.” He smiled back.

“Hey…” Chan said, placing a hand on Minho’s thigh gently, “we are still friends, you know, that right? You can talk to me.”

Minho stared at Chan’s hand before taking another sip.

“There weren’t any rules saying that we could not share sob stories with each other.” Chan continued, crossing his legs up on the couch, facing Minho.

They watched each other for a moment. It was almost surreal to him, being in an apartment with someone who was not after his money, someone who apparently was willing to listen. Yeah, maybe Chan was only in it for sex, hell, _he himself was_ in it for sex, but it felt good to have someone who would listen.

“Well…as you already know, I am going to inherit my father’s company.” Minho started, swallowing the lump at his throat. “The problem is I am trying my best, but my father never saw it. All my life, I had worked hard to impress him, given up other dreams to pursue in his footsteps but of course to him, I will always be irresponsible. He probably thinks I am just sitting there and signing contracts, looking smart and smiling and it is getting tiring. I hate being invalidated for all my hard work.” The younger man sighed, running a hand through his copper hair. “Sorry, that was probably boring.”

Chan was looking at him and seemed genuinely interested and concerned.

“Did you talk to him about all this? You know, sometimes parents tend to do or say what they think is the best, but they go about it in the wrong way.”

“My father does not listen.” Minho muttered, pausing to finish his beer. “It doesn't matter too, I am a disappointment.” He laughed bitterly.

“Minho…” Chan said softly, “You are _not_ a disappointment. You are so amazing and hardworking and to be working in a company like this at a young age and keep up with it is already impressive. Have you perhaps spoken to your mother?”

Minho felt like a bucket of cold water was being thrown over his body.

“She left when I was like 10. Never came back.”

“I am so sorry…” Chan murmured, his voice lowering.

“It’s okay, it was a long time ago and I don’t really remember her much.”

It was a lie. Minho could still recall the day his mom had left, for another man, the day etched right in his mind, the incident being the main reason why Minho was the way he is. But he did not want to talk about it, _ever._

Chan was silent, drinking his beer, but Minho could feel his gaze on him.

“Do you want a hug?” Chan asked, and the hesitance in his voice was so endearing, bringing a tiny smile to Minho’s face.

“I am not really a fan of hugs…” Minho said, mentally kicking himself for being such a tsundere.

This did not seem to hinder Chan though, who chuckled while sliding his arms around Minho’s neck, bringing him in close into a hug.

Minho could feel Chan’s warm and calm breath against his neck, and his stomach gave a lurch.

“You smell good.” Minho muttered before he could stop himself, and Chan pulled away slightly, staring at him in bewilderment, a pretty pink dusting his cheeks.

Minho placed a hand on his cheek gently, bringing their lips together to a kiss. The kiss was too soft, too sweet and Minho’s brain started whirring. He tried to steer the tender atmosphere into something else, something he was more comfortable with. He slide his hand down Chan’s body, slipping it into his shorts and rubbing his member.

“Minho,” Chan gasped against his lips, moving his arm to grip the redhead’s wrist, pulling it away.

“We don’t need to have sex.” Chan said, his eyes boring into him.

“Why?” Minho asked breathlessly.

“You look upset and it is better if we just talk.” Chan said still holding onto Minho’s wrists.

“I am seriously okay, and I came here to have sex not for a therapy session.” Minho winced internally as he saw Chan’s expression drop, looking upset.

“Sorry, I did not mean- “

“I know exactly what you meant Minho; you don’t have to explain. We are just friends who fuck, I get it.” Chan interrupted bitingly, letting go of his wrists and running his hand through his already messy hair.

“Chan…” Minho said gently, “I cannot thank you enough for listening to me, but I really just need a distraction right now and I feel like it would be better this way.”

Chan looked at Minho, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth, “Are you really okay?”

“Yes. I swear.”

Chan stared at the younger man for a while, before his lips made their way back to Minho’s mouth, slowly pushing Minho back into the couch. Minho nibbled on Chan’s lip, begging for entrance that was willingly provided, cheap beer mingling with the taste of Chan.

He felt Chan’s hand move down, palming him over his dress pants. Chan broke away from the kiss, unbuttoning Minho’s shirt, kissing the exposed skin and biting at it.

He yanked the pants down, exposing Minho’s boxers, his cock now straining against his fabric. Chan’s mouth was too close to his dick now, and he could feel himself grow harder. Minho watched as Chan slowly pulled his briefs down and watched him lick his lips as he observed the younger's hardened member. His tongue darted out, licking at his tip making Minho inhale sharply. Chan smirked as he proceeded to then wrap his mouth around the entire head, taking more of his cock in, the wet warmth enveloping his member fully. Minho was struggling to breath as he watched Chan bob his head up and down on his dick. It was simply a sight to watch, Chan innocently gazing up as he sucked his dick like a professional, a vision that was sending shudders through his body.

“Fuck, you look so good with your mouth wrapped around me like that.” Minho breathed out as Chan hummed against his cock, taking more of his dick with every thrust, his hand working on the section that would not fit in his mouth. A strained moan escaped Minho’s mouth as Chan angled his head, taking him all the way down. Minho cursed out loud as he gripped on to Chan’s hair, tight enough to hurt. The older man moaned around his cock, the vibration making Minho thrust into his mouth faster and deeper, the tip of his dick bumping against the back of Chan’s throat.

Chan pulled back, eyes watering as he tried not to choke.

“Sorry.” Minho panted, his breathing laboured, the pleasure too blinding for him to handle.

Chan did not reply, going back to sucking around the tip with his tongue before hollowing his cheeks on the way back down, his nails digging into Minho’s thighs. Chan was working his mouth like a pro, like he had done this many times before and it made an unfamiliar feeling creep up his throat.

 _“Fuck. Where did you learn to do this?”_ Minho moaned, gripping onto Chan’s hair even tighter as the man whimpered around his member.

“You are so good; you feel so good.” Minho gasped, bucking his hips up as Chan sped up.

Minho could feel his orgasm making its way and he tugged on Chan’s hair, trying to pull him off before he came. However, Chan continued taking in Minho’s member to the hilt, moaning around it as Minho’s thighs tense, chanting out Chan’s name over and over again before he came down the back of Chan’s throat.

He watched as Chan swallowed, pulling off with a wet pop, sitting up and wiping off his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt as he looked at him with a smirk.

Chan’s cheeks had a pretty pink dusted all over it, his mouth swollen red and shining wetly. The sight itself was enough to make his dick hard again.

 _“Fuck._ You sure are good at this.” Minho managed to mutter out as he tried to catch his breath.

“Thanks, I guess…” Chan replied, his cheeks turning a darker red.

“Your turn.” Minho said, rising up and leaning into Chan, against the couch.

“You don’t have to do this.” Chan was hesitant, but Minho could feel he was hard through the thin material of his shorts and he had to repay him back for the best blow job he had ever received.

“I want to.” Minho said softly as he pulled off the shorts from the older man, lifting up his thighs and bending him backwards, almost in half.

His hands moved to Chan’s ass, thumbing them apart before he lathed his tongue, flat across the opening. Chan jerked up on the couch so hard, eliciting a low, broken whine.

“ _Shit._ Minho what are you doing?”

The younger man smiled up at Chan licking around the rim before sinking his tongue into the puckered hole once more, making the older writhe in pleasure. He then speared his tongue in once more. Chan was shuddering with every thrust, his leg hooked up over the top of the couch.

“Do you like it that much, _baby?”_

Minho was so caught up in eating Chan out that he did not realise he said it. The reaction that came out from Chan at that term caught him by surprise as he jerked his hips up and gasped, so loud, his fingernails digging into the soft couch. Minho decided to test his reaction again.

“Do you like being called that, _baby?”_

“ _Fuck._ Minho oh my god what – “

Minho smirked as he prodded his tongue into the hole, sucking at his rim, his wet muscle exploring the hole.

“C’mon _baby,_ moan for me.”

Chan was moaning and whimpering so loud now, and Minho was pretty sure the neighbours could hear everything through the thin walls. He found himself wanting them to hear them, to realise that Chan was taken, taken by _him._

 _“Minho, I am so close.”_ Chan begged,” Let _me come please.”_

 _“You are doing so well baby boy.”_ Minho whispered before he tugged his cheeks further apart with both hands, inserting his index finger in, past his tongue. The added combination of his finger with the tongue proved to be too blissful for Chan and he started thrashing as he tried to move away from Minho.

Minho loved this too much, he loved the way the older man _craved_ for his touch, he loved the way Chan moaned out his name over and over again, shuddering and thrashing under him. He loved teasing him, watching him turn pink with pleasure with every touch and every word. He wanted to be the only one who would be able to make Chan feel this way, the only one to have this effect on him.

The younger man strengthened his grip on him, twisting his finger into the tight hole and suckling hard and sloppy along his rim. Minho was licking into him like he was starved, and he thrusted his finger in and out, picking up pace, as Chan arched his back, moaning and whimpering as he finally came, his whole-body shuddering and going taut.

“ _Fuck. Minho. Fuck.”_

Minho moved up, taking in the fucked-out expression on Chan, delirious with the image. He leaned down to kiss Chan, letting him taste himself, as his hand moved up his shirt, feeling his well-defined abs. Chan was still sensitive from the orgasm earlier and the moans that were coming out of his mouth sent all the blood rushing down straight to his cock, and he could feel himself getting hard again. Chan was a drug he could not get enough, and he snuggled his face into the crook of the older man’s neck, breathing in his scent.

He could feel Chan’s chest rise up and down with every breath and he could feel his worries have already disappeared, replaced by comfort. Just lying there, on top of Chan, in a tiny couch felt like _home_ to him. He felt his eyes drift close when he felt Chan’s arms wrap around him, hugging him and providing more warmth. To Minho’s shock, he could feel the tears come back up, and he shot back up quickly from Chan’s embrace, picking up his boxers and pants and pulling them on.

“Minho are you okay?” Chan asked, worry clearly outlining his tone.

“I have to go.” Minho murmured and his voice sounded heavy, hoarse with emotion.

“Minho, you can sleep on my bed, I will take the couch.” Chan stated, reaching out for his discarded shorts.

“No. I have to go.” Minho repeated, firmer.

He glanced up to catch Chan’s eyes and could see the deep disappointment etched in his expression. The older man let out a low sigh, eyes glinting like steel and turned away.

“Okay. Fine.”

His voice was cold, too cold and Minho wanted the warmth back from him, but he knew that would be selfish.

“Good night Channie.” Minho turned back to look at Chan, who was sitting on the couch, refusing to look at him, opting to stare at the marble floor.

He sighed, opening the door, and exiting. Going back to his usual life where emotions were unnecessary.

* * *

Chan woke up wondering what the hell happened the day before. The past few months they had been together had been casual, and it was just them sticking strong to their schedule. So, it was a surprise when Minho had texted him out of the blue, on a Thursday night asking him if he was down to have sex. Chan had asked Minho to come over to his place, too tired to drive over to his apartment just for sex especially since he would have to drive back home, following Minho’s strict rule of no sleeping over after sex.

However, when Minho turned up at his apartment, there was something off with him. He could see sorrow in the younger man’s eyes and some sort of vulnerability.

He was starting to feel that it was a mistake, for initiating the deal, as the sight of seeing Minho upset, stirred up some feelings in his gut. He wanted to _comfort_ the man, to chase away the sadness, he wanted Minho to open up to him and in a way he did, he said more about himself yesterday than he ever did the past three months they were together but there was still something he was holding back.

Chan sighed deeply as he got ready for work. He was going to see Minho again tonight, at the café as usual and he hoped it would not be awkward.

“Hello my favourite hyung.” Jeongin chirped up from behind his seat.

Chan smiled at him, nodding in greeting as he made his way to his desk. It was hard to believe three months had passed by so quickly and he felt disappointed that Minho always tried to set a barrier up with him, always trying hard to distance himself.

He went to the café after work and saw Minho already there, stirring his cup of coffee.

He did not want to go talk to him now, going over to Changbin who was counting the bills, closing down the cashier.

“Everything okay?”

Changbin asked as Chan reached his side.

“Yeah…”

“Your boyfriend is here, go join him and I will come along soon.”

“He is not my boyfriend.” Chan said, his tone disgruntled.

“Do you wish he was?” Changbin asked him, wagging his eyebrows at him.

“Please.” Chan rolled his eyes, turning away from him and walking over to Minho.

Memories of last night flashed through his mind, heat spreading over his face.

Minho had eaten him out and called him _baby._ Just thinking about it was sending shock waves through his body again.

He took a seat, far from Minho, pretending to look at his phone instead.

Minho cleared his throat and Chan looked up meeting his gaze.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Are _you_ okay?” Chan retorted back.

“Chan…” Minho sighed, “You know it is all part of the rules, I don’t want to complicate things.”

“Yeah, I know.” Chan replied, avoiding his eyes, “I wasn’t asking you to cuddle me, but it would be nice to stop thinking I am a disease or something.”

“You think I would fuck you if you were a disease?” Minho asked amused.

“Can you take this seriously? Wasn’t communication part of the rules?” Chan asked, glaring at him before looking away again.

“I am sorry.” Minho apologized, his voice taking a more serious tone. “I was going through something, so thank you for helping me.”

“And I am sorry for leaving so abruptly but I honestly think it is best I don’t stay over when we have sex.”

Chan grumbled under his breath for a while, “Okay, whatever.”

Minho looked embarrassed as he continued to gaze at him, “I am sorry?”

“Argh, you frustrate me.”

Minho smiled at him, knowing that was Chan's way of forgiving him, reaching across the table to grab Chan’s hand but retreating it back quickly as the door opened and Felix walked in.

“Sup bitches?” The pixie looking boy called out happily, making over to them, completely oblivious to the atmosphere.

The whole evening Chan tried not to focus on the man sitting across him, engaging in a conversation with Seungmin instead, who was a really fun and hyper person, almost reminding him of a puppy.

Seungmin was telling Chan the story of how he became friends with Minho. Apparently, he found it tough at first and Seungmin had thought Minho actually hated him for some time, which was why it even took Hyunjin a long time to finally ask him out even though they were smitten by each other from the first meeting, just because Hyunjin did not want to upset his best friend.

“Minho is a very…jealous person.” Hyunjin mentioned, screeching in pain as Minho nudged him hard in his ribs.

“What? It is true. You did not like me being friends with someone else, and it took you so long to finally warm up to Seungmin!” Hyunjin complained, rubbing his ribs with a frown.

Minho just opted to look elsewhere, and Chan observed him. Until he met the younger man, Chan thought he was the most annoying person when it came to relationships, having commitment issues himself, however Minho was definitely worse, and he was an enigma. He wished Minho would be more open with him, instead of treating their relationship as a sex only relationship but again Chan knew he brought this upon himself.

Nonetheless, the more Chan got to understand Minho, the more drawn he is to the man, the more he wanted to help the man, and this could be potentially dangerous.

“But when Minho cares about someone, he _really_ cares a lot.” Seungmin stated, smiling fondly at the man as Minho groaned.

“Could we talk about something that does not involve me please?”

Hyunjin changed the topic to another plan of his which was an amusement park trip to which they all had agreed to. It has been a while since Chan went to one, as he was often occupied with work, and he always enjoyed going on the roller coaster rides. He could see Minho was less than enthusiastic about the idea but did not mention anything about it to him.

"Ever since you three came into our lives, I feel like we have been going places and having more fun." Changbin mentioned with a smile. "Previously we could not get this one here to even come out with us for a night out." He said gesturing at Chan who rolled his eyes.

"It was the same for us with Minho, they really are a perfect match for each other." Hyunjin laughed, and Chan hoped that his ears did not betray him by turning pink.

As they left the cafe and started walking to their respective cars, Chan trailed behind, sticking beside Minho.

"Are you excited about tomorrow?" Chan asked him, regarding the amusement park trip.

Minho shrugged as he answered, "Not a big fan but it could be fun."

"It is going to be really fun." Chan grinned excitedly before heading off in a different direction towards his car.

* * *

Once they got to the amusement park, Chan could not control his excitement, trying to get everyone to go on every ride that was there. They were walking past a line of stalls when Minho impulsively reached out to Chan, dragging him to a stand that was selling headbands and picked up a headband with puppy ears, placing it on his dark hair. Minho stared at Chan, admiring him, “I am getting this for you.”

Chan wrinkled his nose at him, “What if I don’t want it.”

“I am still getting it and you are wearing this for the next time we…uhm.”

Minho could feel the heat rush to his face as he said the sentence out loud. He usually never got flustered over something, it was always _him_ who rendered Chan speechless with his actions and words. He could see the other man found all this really amusing.

“Minho, it is okay to have a kink.” Chan smirked at him, and Minho knew he probably turned a deeper red. “I thought you would have a kitty kink though…” He trailed off, grinning mischievously at him.

Minho coughed nervously, “It is not a kink, you just look too cute.” He looked away as he continued muttering, “Plus you give off puppy vibes than kitty ones.”

Before Chan could come back with something, Jisung popped up from behind them, “Hey get me one of these too!”

Somehow, Minho ended up buying a headband for them all and it was worth it as he saw Chan smile up at him kindly.

Chan could probably sense there was something wrong when they were on the roller coasters as Minho would sense the man looking at him in concern. Minho would always turn pale as a ghost and the usual smile that was on his face would vanish when he thought no one was looking. Every time they were done with a ride, Minho would go off towards to the side for a while, trying to steady his breathing before popping up and acting like nothing happened. He did not want to show his weakness in front of everyone, after all.

The other boys wanted to go on the Ferris Wheel and Minho declined the offer at first, not indicating the reason, stepping away and distancing himself away from the group. At least with roller coasters, they are done within a minute. While the Ferris Wheel would be longer, and more painful. He saw Chan look at him, confused, but he shifted his eyes away from him. The truth was Minho had a fear of heights. It started ever since he was young, but whenever he was in open places, where he could see how far up he actually was, his heart always started beating uncomfortably, making him feel nauseous. Minho did not want Chan to see that side of him as he himself is ashamed of that.

Chan walked up to him, “Do you hate rides or something?”

“Well I love it when you ride me.” Minho said unabashedly, trying to fluster the older man so he would stop asking him questions.

It did work as Chan’s eyes widened blushing red. However the man composed himself quickly.

“Oh, well if you are not coming, I am going with Changbin.” Chan shrugged pretending to be unaffected, smirking when he saw Minho’s smile slowly melt away from his face.

 _"This is not the time to be jealous,_ _Minho_." He thought to himself.

“Oh by the way guys, I am stepping out of this one.” Felix spoke up “I am going to buy some cotton candy I saw earlier, and I hate Ferris Wheels, so sorry.”

“Well, one of you have to join, otherwise it would be uneven…” Hyunjin stated.

"So are you coming or should I go with Changbin?" Chan asked Minho, his eyebrow raised, staring at him like he was challenging him and Minho knew he lost this battle.

"I am coming." Minho finally said, and he felt Chan wrap his arm around his.

“Minho is coming with me.”

The man felt fear creep over his entire being as they neared the death machine, he could not possibly do this. He mustered up his guts and turned to Chan to tell him that he really is not getting on that wheel, even if God himself came down and forced him, but then he saw the smile on the older man’s face and the words flew out of his mind.

Was Chan actually _happy_ that he was getting on the Ferris Wheel with him? Minho decided to suck it up and get on it anyways. It would not be that bad, right? It did look safe after all.

He was wrong. It was bad. Minho could feel himself panicking as the wheel stopped, each stop being further high up, and the people down were starting to look like tiny ants. The seat belt was secure but Minho knew he could plummet to his death with some kind of malfunction. He had read news where the people had died during rides. What was he even thinking? How was he even doing this? How could he get on a death trap just because someone smiled at him. Was it even worth the beaming bright dimply smile emitting from Chan?

“Take deep breaths.” Chan said and Minho inhaled sharply as the older man curled up against his side.

The car was swaying unsteadily in the wind and before Minho could stop himself, he let out a moan of despair. He felt Chan’s hand on his, trying to calm him down.

“Are you okay?” Chan asked him in concern.

Minho jerked back, giving Chan what he thought was a smile.

“Yes, I am fine. So fine.” Minho said, his voice a bit shaky.

“You look pale…I don’t think you are fine at all…” Chan pointed out.

Minho sighed as he sputtered out, “Actually…I am scared of heights…shit scared. There, you can laugh at me for being a weakling.”

Chan, however, did not laugh, looking at him in concern.

"You should have told me." 

"I didn't want you to think I am weak. And you looked happy." Minho's eyes wandered over to the edge of the car, realising how far up they are now and started shaking in his seat.

“Close your eyes and trust me.” Chan said, smiling at him gently.

Minho did not often trust people, especially when he was sitting in a death trap, but he obeyed the older man, squeezing his eyes tightly shut, trying to forget the fact that he was high up and was going to probably die soon.

They soon reached the top, and he felt the car stopped for a while.

“As long as I am here, I will never let you go.” He heard Chan say, and his heart _fluttered_.

“Open your eyes now, just look at the sunset, don’t focus on where we are.” Chan said gently, his tone soft.

Minho slowly looked up and the older man was _right._

The scenery was breathtakingly beautiful. The sky was a beautiful shade of red with pink tinges and Minho forgot all his fears, forgot where he actually was, staring at the sky in awe.

He could feel the presence of the older man next to him, chuckling and still holding onto his arm gently. He turned to look at Chan, the smile on his face, radiant, his dimple prominent, the puppy ears making him look even more endearing.

Minho, for the first time, felt safe. All that mattered was the man sitting beside him, holding on to him, giving him some sort of security.

“Do you like it, Minho.” Chan asked him, turning to him with bright eyes.

“Yes.” Minho breathed. “So _breathtakingly beautiful.”_

Minho did not know who he indicated that for, the scenery, or Chan. He saw the older man giggle in embarrassment.

“If you are still nervous, I have another therapy that might work.” Chan said, and he sounded so shy that Minho looked at him in anticipation, an eyebrow raised.

He felt Chan shift closer to him in his seat, placing a hand around his neck and bringing him in to capture his lips, soft and gentle at first but then tugging at his bottom lip, his tongue prodding into his mouth.

Was he actually going to make out with this man, in a Ferris Wheel? Suddenly the idea of dying in a Ferris Wheel did not sound too bad.

Minho opened his mouth, allowing Chan to taste him, gripping his neck tighter, giving him the chance to take control of the kiss. Chan then drew back, away from the kiss, ending it as quickly as it started, as the car started moving again. Minho leaned in, craving for more, to kiss those lips again as Chan laughed.

“That is all for now.” He stated. “You need to enjoy this view.” He looked away, staring at the sunset.

Minho’s eyes were trained on Chan, taking in those features, the glow of the sunset upon him.

_Chan really was the most ethereal being ever._

“I am enjoying the view.” He said finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little glimpse into Minho's life...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some light spanking in this chapter and it is mostly smut. I hope I don't go to hell.

After the amusement park trip, Minho had not called Chan over or texted him at all. Maybe it was for the best to spend some time away from him. Things had been becoming a little intense according to Minho.

However, once Hyunjin had started on something, there was no stopping him. He planned a movie night for their next weekend outing and the eight of them were standing outside the theater, getting their popcorn and drinks. Chan gave Minho a quick greeting, ignoring him after that. They went in to take their seats where the older man purposely left a seat in between Minho and him. He could see the redhead looking at him, but he chose to ignore it.

Once it was over, the eight of them were out in the streets, just playfully shoving each other and discussing about the movie.

Minho tried to join in the conversation, but his eyes were focused on Chan and Changbin who were more at the front. Chan was clinging on to the other man, laughing out loud at something he had said, his dimple more prominent than ever and Minho tried to ignore the feeling stirring in his heart.

He wished he could make Chan laugh like that.

“Binnie… it is cold.” Chan whined, trying to pull the man closer to him, embracing in his warmth.

Minho watched as Changbin removed the jacket he was wearing, wrapping it around Chan who squealed in happiness.

There was just something so intimate about the scene and Minho found himself walking over to the duo.

“Chan.” Minho said as he reached them, “I am dropping you home.” It was not an offer but more like a demand. Chan locked eyes with him, “I already have a ride, it is okay.”

“I insist. Let me drive you home.” Minho demanded steely.

“Minho, it is inconvenient for you, I am going with Changbin.” Chan said in exasperation.

“Can't you just listen to me?” Minho asked getting infuriated with the man.

Even though Minho hadn't contact the older man, he had expected Chan to text him or call him which he did not and now here he was, giving him the cold shoulder.

Chan stared at him, his forehead creasing up in a frown.

“Changbin.” Chan said, still not taking his eyes off of him.

“I am going with Minho.”

Changbin sighed, “Of course, you are.” He said rolling his eyes and walking towards his car.

Chan and Minho said their goodbyes to the others before heading off to the younger man’s car. Minho noticed Chan was still wearing Changbin’s jacket and he wanted to rip it off him, clenching and unclenching his fists instead.

As Chan got into the passenger seat, buckling up his seat belt, he looked over at the younger man who had stayed quiet.

“What was that?” Chan asked.

Minho’s shoulders were tense, and he chose to ignore Chan, starting his car and slowly pulling it out of the parking lot.

“Someone is in a mood today, maybe I should ride you here like how I did long back.”

Minho slammed his hands on the steering wheel making Chan jump in his seat. “Godammit Chan can you shut up.”

“What the fuck? You literally insisted on giving me a ride. Why even bother when I could have gone with Changbin.”

Minho tightened his hands on the wheel at the mention of Changbin’s name. He had no idea why he was feeling this way either and chose to stay quiet throughout the ride home. He could feel Chan burning a hole through him with his glare, pouting up his lips.

Once they were outside Chan’s apartment, Minho parked his car inside the parking lot instead of pulling by the side.

“You can just drop me and fuck off.” Chan spat angrily.

“What if I want to come to your apartment?”

“First tell me why you are being a bitch.” Chan retorted.

Minho sighed, “I will tell you when we go up.”

Chan started muttering under his breath about how he could never understand what goes on in Minho’s brain but agreed reluctantly, getting out of the car, and slamming the door a bit too hard.

Once they were inside his apartment, Chan turned facing Minho. “Are you going to explain yourself mister?”

“Can you please remove that jacket.”

Chan looked down in shock, finally realising that he was still wearing Changbin’s jacket.

He gazed up at Minho, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, realisation creeping in and suddenly grasping the situation.

“Don’t tell me you are _actually_ jealous of Changbin.” Chan guffawed in disbelief.

“I am not.” Minho shot back in defense.

“Minho the only guy I am fucking, is you, don’t be jealous.” Chan chided.

“Well...You did not even bother to text at all this week, and you were ignoring me tonight!” Minho answered and there was something in his voice, that Chan could not decipher.

Chan look at him incredulously, “ _You_ did not contact me too! And the last time we did anything, you just upped and left. I thought we were fine after our amusement park trip, but then _you_ never texted me, so I was giving you the space you probably wanted.”

“I am your friend, too right?” Minho asked suddenly, skipping past what Chan said.

Chan looked at him like it was obvious and Minho was stupid for asking this.

“Then why do I feel like you aren’t that close to me like you are with the others.” Minho whispered and Chan thought he misheard him.

“I literally had sex with you out of everyone, just how much closer do you want to be.”

“Argh. _Fuck._ You drive me crazy.” Minho said, running his hand through his hair, making it stick up messily.

“ _You_ confuse the fuck out of me.” Chan stated, acting as detached as he could appear to.

Before he could tell Minho to fuck off, the man came closer to him, grabbing his jacket and removed it, pushing past his shoulders.

“Hey cut it ou- “

Chan was interrupted as he found Minho’s lips on his own, sliding right into an intense routine as he finally managed to pull the jacket off.

Chan wanted to continue fighting with Minho, still confused as to why the man was acting this way. Chan would say that the man was jealous but don't you need to have feelings for the other in other to feel that? And they were not in a relationship so why did Minho care.

“I think you are jealous.” Chan said, panting for breath as they pulled away, a tiny strip of saliva hanging between them.

Minho growled as he bit lightly on the top of Chan’s earlobe and he started to undress him as fast he could, stripping him naked. They moved back, to the dining table and Minho spun Chan around, a bit harshly, bending him over the table. “Stay like this.” He breathed as he loosened the clasp on his pants, removing them along with his boxers, moving his hand to give Chan’s butt a squeeze.

Minho pressed himself against Chan’s ass, the hardness of his member too obvious to ignore and Chan hissed in pleasure.

“Someone is already hard.” Chan teased, shaking his butt lightly at him.

“I am going to fuck you against this table so hard, you would not be able to walk for days.” Minho whispered against Chan’s ear and felt a tremor run through his body.

Minho inserted his fingers into Chan’s mouth, “Suck them well, I don’t have the patience for lube.” He demanded as the older man lapped up at his fingers hungrily, coating them with saliva. Minho then glided his hand up Chan’s pale thigh, his finger circulating around clenched walls before inserting into him, preparing him. He inserted two more fingers hastily, as his dick was already throbbing and wanted to get inside of him. He removed his fingers, and Chan heard the man zip his pants down.

Minho pressed his tip against Chan’s opening and watched the older man push himself back against his cock, wanting to be filled. It did not take Chan long to accept the entire length, and Minho pulled back out to go right back in, each thrust more forceful than the previous one. It was really hot to fuck Chan like this, bent over the table and submissive as fuck. The younger man’s hands were roaming everywhere on his back, caressing his sides as he continued to pound into him, striking his sweet spot over and over again.

“You should see the way you take my dick in.” Minho moaned, “This is a view you should not miss.”

Chan whimpered at the dirty talk, moans coming out strangled as Minho thrusted right against his prostate. At this point, Minho had memorised Chan’s body by heart, knowing just where to touch him, how to make him totally submissive under his control.

“Did you do this with anyone else, baby?”

Suddenly, Chan found Minho’s hand flat against his butt cheek, squeezing it before smacking his hand onto it in a flash and Chan let out the most embarrassing whine, enjoying the feeling, enjoying when Minho took control of the whole situation. Minho repeated the movement, smacking his hand harder on Chan’s butt as the older man gasped out loud.

“I don’t think anyone could make you feel this way, can they?” Chan could feel Minho’s smirk against his skin as the man sank his teeth into it, marking him.

The younger moved his hands along Chan’s body, gripping hard at his hips, thrusting in faster, before moving them up to his shoulders, forcing the older man to take it in even deeper. Chan was starting to see stars at the point.

_“I know you were jealous, Minho.”_

Chan choked out, not wanting to miss out the opportunity on riling up Minho even more.

It did work as Minho pressed Chan’s face down on the table, bending down, biting hard on the nape of his neck, and working his way around his back, leaving marks wherever possible, licking, and sucking at the spots.

Chan loved hearing Minho’s moans echoing in his ears as he was being fucked over the table. He knew the combined sounds of them both will be heard across the hallway, but he did not care. Chan’s breathing started hitching as he felt his body tensing, he moved to touch himself, but Minho gripped his wrist hard, pulling it back.

“I am going to make you come just by fucking you.” Minho growled, as he gripped Chan’s hair and tilted his face towards him, to capture his lips, kissing messily, teeth clashing. Minho then let go of him, holding onto his shoulders as he increased his speed and pounded into him with fervor, making Chan yelp.

_“Come for me, baby.”_

Minho being so _demanding_ and _dominating_ was enough for Chan as his thighs tensed up and he came with a loud whine. He gasped and bit hard on his lips as his orgasm shot out of him, tiring him out as he slumped over the table. This was enough for Minho as he felt his release build up steadily and he finished immediately after, releasing into the older man, his fingers leaving crescent shaped dents on Chan’s shoulders, groaning out loud.

Chan’s knees buckled underneath him, and he slumped to the ground as Minho let go of him, pulling out.

Minho pulled up his pants, looking over at Chan, catching his breath, leaning against the leg of the table. He looked so wrecked, a pretty pink dusted all over his cheeks, his lips swollen plump and red, white liquid dribbling down his thighs. Sweat was trickling down his face from his dark hair. Minho was proud with the red marks that were littered all over his back, proving that Chan really did belong to him. Minho was indeed intoxicated by Chan’s beauty. His eyes moved up his body, and saw Chan was staring at him.

“Are you going to leave now?”

Minho thought about it, his first response being yes. He did not want to risk staying. However, his mind changed looking at the man, walking towards him and picking him up from the floor, bridal style, in one swift movement, eliciting a yelp from him.

“No, let’s get you cleaned up first.” He said as he walked towards the direction of the bathroom, Chan’s arms wrapped around his neck.

Chan’s expression turned from confusion to happiness, a bright smile radiating on his face, dimple as prominent as ever.

“You seriously are the most confusing person ever, Minho.” Chan whispered, his laugh tinkling in the room.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First half is explicit sex with certain kinks involved (blindfold and ropes) so please skip it if you are uncomfortable.  
> Second half is an attempt at fluff and important to the story <3.

A week had passed by since the movie night and Minho had been right about fucking him hard until he could not walk for days. The younger man had taken him for round two in the shower and then moved on to his bedroom. By the time they were done, it was 5 am in the morning when Minho finally left to his apartment, leaving Chan feeling sore all over. He tried to hide his limp at work, however Jeongin noticed it and could not stop teasing him about it.

“Was it the _friend_ who allowed you to borrow his clothes, hyung?” Jeongin had said earning a well-deserved smack on the head from the older.

Even though he hated to admit it to himself, Chan knew he was yearning for Minho’s touch every night. He was getting addicted to him. For once, Hyunjin did not have anything planned for the weekend, wanting to spend more time with Seungmin instead. A week without seeing Minho was already too long for Chan and he did not comprehend what had gotten to him, as he felt a little bit adventurous.

He waited for the younger man to text him but when noon arrived and yet, he did not receive any messages, Chan decided to follow his heart foolishly, sending Minho a quick message.

_Chan: You know... I still have that puppy headband…_

The reply came within a minute.

_Minho: Fuck. Come over. Now._

Once Chan entered Minho’s apartment, with the headband in his hand, he gazed up at Minho and said, “Is the theme for tonight, our deepest kinks? Because I got another one.”

When Minho stared at him, speechless, Chan continued staring at him with a sparkle in his eye, “Channie wants you to tie him to your bed.”

Minho looked like the air was knocked out of his body, as a choked noise escaped his throat.

“ _God._ What is with you today.”

Minho moaned as he pulled Chan towards his bedroom. The older man looked into the mirror as he placed the puppy ears carefully on his dark hair, plopping down on his bed, waiting patiently as the man rummaged through his closet, stepping out with rope…and a navy blindfold.

“Hmmm. Kinky. Why do you even have these? Do you do this with your other victims?”

There was a slight envy lining his tone, and he was hoping Minho did not catch up on it.

“Well…I tried it just once. But with you, I think it would be better.”

Chan tried not to let the flattery get to him, as he stretched his legs, motioning for the older man to come over.

“God you look so damn cute with those ears.” Minho breathed as he straddled the older on the bed, opening the bedside drawer.

 _“You are really making me lose my mind, Bang Chan.”_ Minho moaned, grabbing the older man’s hand, and tying it to the bed post behind. He did the same with the other hand, and looked down at Chan.

“Are you sure you are okay with this?” Minho asked, gesturing to the blindfold.

_“Fuck. Yes.”_

“Do you trust me that much?” Minho asked him, his eyes turning dark with lust.

Chan hummed for a while, feigning to be deep in thought, “Maybe.”

"Let's keep a safe word... what about 'kittens'?"

"Weird choice of word Minho but okay." Chan giggled.

Minho then took the navy blindfold, and slowly covered the older man’s eyes, tying it off at the back. Chan was immediately thrown into darkness and it startled him for a while, his breathing picking up pace. He felt Minho’s lips on him, “Shh it is going to be alright.” He whispered against his lips, kissing him gently.

Chan exhaled a trembling breath as Minho nibbled on his lips, the sensitivity was tripled tenfold without his vision. Minho unbuttoned his shirt slowly, sucking on his nipple as he flicked the other one. Chan tried to stifle back a moan as Minho swiped his tongue out on the nipple, encasing the swollen nub between his lips and sucking at it.

Minho moved to bite at Chan’s neck, rolling the flesh between his teeth before sucking at it. He moved down, biting, and marking him everywhere on his pale skin.

“I am going to take good care of you, baby.” Minho whispered as his teeth scrapped lightly at his nipple, moving down and gently tugging off his pants and briefs along with his shirt.

“Do you know, how good you look right now?” Minho groaned in pleasure, his voice thick with arousal, “Seeing you tied up, blindfolded like this, so _submissive._ I want to ravish your body over and over again, _fuck.”_

 _“Minho…”_ Chan moaned, “I need you inside me now, _please.”_

_“Be patient, baby. I haven't even started."_

Chan jerked up as Minho’s lips met the tip of his length, his tongue swirling over it and the wet warmth enveloping his member fully. Chan could not see Minho’s expression, but he could imagine the smirk on his face as he was trashing on the bed, too sensitive to the younger man’s touch. His mouth popped off as he lifted up Chan’s legs suddenly, his tongue poking at Chan’s entrance, licking around the rim before entering. Chan was feeling so overwhelmed with pleasure as he convulsed, his arms tugging against the ropes. The pleasure was intoxicating, mind numbing, and all Chan could think of in the haze was Minho’s dick inside him.

“Minho, fuck me please.” He moaned out loud.

“Be patient, baby. I will get there. I am not done taking care of you,” Minho hummed, licking, and slurping at his hole.

"God you taste so delicious." 

_“Please.”_ Chan said, dropping his voice into a whine as Minho inserted two lube coated fingers into him, fingering him slowly. He tugged at the ropes as he moaned.

“Fuck me, _hyung_ _.”_

Chan never, _ever_ , expected himself to ever use that term on this man. However, being fully submissive under the younger man’s control, and being not able to see anything, could do things to him. It had the reaction he was expecting as Minho exhaled sharply, his fingers halting their movements. Chan really wished he could see the look on Minho’s face right now and it was as if the younger man could read his thoughts as he felt him claw at his blindfold, removing it.

Chan squinted his eyes shut, trying to adjust to the surroundings. When his vision finally steadied, he could see Minho’s intense, dark eyes, pooled with so much hunger and intensity that it was making him quiver.

“Say it again.” Minho demanded, anticipation shining starkly in his dark eyes.

Chan gazed at Minho, looking into the smoldering eyes, “fuck me, _hyung.”_ He moaned, blurting the words out. Minho grunted wantonly, eyes rolling backwards with a shudder.

His fingers finally resumed their movement, and Minho added in a third finger. Chan stared up at his eyes, two black pits of desire that opened up a void inside of him, a void that he believed no amount of sex could fill.

“Say it again.”

Chan bit his lips hard, probably tearing through the skin.

_“Fuck me, hyung.”_

“Say it politely.”

Chan tried to bite down his whimpers, mewling softly as Minho brushed against his prostate.

“ _Hyung…please._ I want you deep inside me, fucking me hard until I can't walk." He breathed out.

“Oh, my fucking _god, Channie- “_

Minho took out the blindfold again, tying it around him as Chan welcomed the darkness once more.

Minho removed his fingers, and Chan could hear him opening the drawers beside him.

“I bought something just to use on you, maybe today is the day huh.” Minho said, his voice deep.

Chan could not see what was in Minho’s hands, he felt something against his entrance and moaned loudly as the younger man pushed what appeared to be a dildo inside him, the huge size burying deep within him.

The older man was gritting his teeth, whimpering, completely under Minho's control and loving it.

“Oh _god, baby,_ you should really see how well you take it in. This is so perfect for you.” Minho’s voice was so deep, so turned on, filled with excitement and Chan really wanted to come there and then.

“The way your hole just eats up the dildo, _fuck.”_

Minho switched the device on, and the pleasure chugged through Chan’s veins, his body trembling with the sensation.

“ _Hyung, please.”_

“Tell me what you want, I will do it for you, baby.” Minho asked as he plunged the toy deeper into Chan.

“I want your dick inside of me.” Chan whimpered, his lips quivering with pleasure and Minho let out a growl as he thrusted the toy inside him, the vibrations running up his sensitive walls.

“The things you do to me, _fuck.”_ Minho whispered; his breath hot against his ears. He left the dildo in, still vibrating, and Chan was not able to keep his moans in, screaming out loud everything he moved and the dildo hit him at his sweet spot. Chan heard Minho strip his own clothes off and he then finally removed the device, Chan hissing at the emptiness until he felt the younger man’s cock lining against his entrance, pushing into him.

The redhead stretched Chan in half as he pounded into him. He moaned out loudly as he kneaded his butt, picking up pace. Minho went in as deep as he could as Chan threw his head back, arching his back and pulling hard at the ropes. Chan cried out in pleasure as Minho grunted, picking up speed and slamming straight into his prostate. The older man was writing under Minho’s dominance, mewling shamefully at the thrill. The bed was shaking and rocking, hard, with every thrust. It felt so numbingly good, way better than the previous times they had sex. His sense of touch was even more sensitive due to the blindfold and Chan loved it way too much.

_“Fuck, Channie, my submissive pup.”_

_"The noises you make are like music to my ears."_ Minho groaned as he stretched Chan back even more.

Chan was crushing his teeth so hard against one another; he could feel it turn to dust. A wave churned through Chan's body as Minho pulled out slowly until only the head was inside before slamming himself into the older man, faster and deeper. Chan was quivering under Minho's ministrations and he wanted to hold on to him, he wanted to touch him.

“Let me touch you, _hyung_.” Chan mewled as he felt his release coming upon him.

Minho moaned into his neck, biting at the skin there so hard that he probably drew blood.

He felt Minho undo the ropes tied around his hands on the bedpost. Chan felt the blood rushing to his hands as he massaged them slowly before, reaching up to remove his blindfold.

Minho’s piercing gaze held so many emotions and intensity as Chan wrapped his arms around his neck, fingers clutching on to the younger's long strands, bringing him in closer, and allowed the pleasure to crash through his system, orgasm riding waves through his body and igniting a scream out of him as he shook in Minho’s hands, seeing stars.

Minho continued to pound into the over stimulated hole, showering Chan with so many compliments.

_“You have been such a good boy.”_

_“So beautiful, baby.”_

Chan always loved the feeling of this man inside of him, his thick member filling him, dominating him. Every single touch and words Minho murmured against his skin was like magic, sending bursts of pleasure and making him shiver with desire.

Minho leaned down, to kiss Chan’s lips hungrily, sucking and tugging at his bottom lip as he finally came, filling Chan up to the brim. Fatigue chained Chan to the bed as Minho pulled out, pushing Chan's knees up and admiring the endless white slipping from his pink hole, the boy feebly lying against the headboard. He fell next to Chan on the bed, his chest heaving up and down with every breath.

 _“That was…fuck.”_ Chan breathed, rubbing at his wrists. He tried sitting up, wobbling, and falling against the bed again.

“How long were you waiting to call me hyung?” Minho asked, breathing hard, a smug grin on his face.

“Please, it came out before I could stop it.” Chan groaned, taking a pillow, and hiding his face behind it. "And it is never going to happen again."

Minho laughed out loud and Chan found himself smiling along.

“That was the _best_ sex I ever had.” Minho finally said, getting up and bringing in some towels.

“Was it better than the previous person you tried it on?”

“Oh… _Definitely.”_ Minho smirked.

“Here you can keep these ears.” Chan removed them and placed it on the table, watching in amusement as Minho turned crimson red.

“Give me some time,” he then requested still trying to catch his breath, “I will leave soon.”

Minho looked at him for a while, contemplating something, “Actually…maybe you could stay tonight?” Minho considered as Chan looked up in shock.

“I mean, I was a bit rough with you, the least I could do is let you stay…” Minho looked away, as Chan smiled, fingers running through his copper strands, “I will take the couch.”

The smile dropped from Chan’s face, and Minho watched him compose himself again as he mustered up a bitter smile.

“Thanks, Minho.”

Minho stood there for a while, before he managed to say, “I bought a new camera, and want to test it out, do you want to go to the park tomorrow morning?”

Other than their sexual encounters together, Chan and Minho never really had an outing alone together, so it was a surprise when Minho was actually asking him if he was free for an outing that did not require sex.

“That’s a surprise.” Chan said.

Minho shrugged, “Hey, just so you know, I do enjoy your company.” Minho replied, smiling at Chan and the man could feel the butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

Chan really had nothing to do so he agreed. Minho nodded in his head, smiling at him, getting out some pajamas and setting it on the bed. “Well, take a shower when you feel like it and I will see you tomorrow.”

Chan watched as the younger man walked out, closing the door behind him before he sighed, trying to stop his heart from racing. What was happening to him. He had to admit, it was the best sex he ever had, but he felt proud when Minho admitted the same. Chan felt too tired to walk and wanted to just sleep, but he could feel the stickiness on his thighs, and he got up, heading off to the showers.

* * *

Morning seeped through the window, through the curtains, grabbing at the linens of Chan’s blanket. He rolled over, groaning as his body ached from last night’s activity. He rubbed his eyes, waking up slowly and saw a new set of clothes and toothbrush, on his bed. Chan changed into them once he was done showering. He was wearing an orange sweater, that fell past his wrists, and pants that were more expensive than what he owned. They smelled like Minho, and Chan inhaled in the scent, absorbing it in.

He then headed outside and saw Minho preparing some sandwiches.

Minho turned around when he heard Chan enter, and poured out a cup of tea for the man to drink, setting the table with sandwiches.

“How do you feel today?” Minho asked sheepishly.

“A bit sore. Other than that, I am fine.” Chan replied.

“Sorry.” Chan continued, and Minho glanced at him in shock.

“I was supposed to apologise, I am the one who made you sore.”

Chan chucked in embarrassment, “Not for that, I know how you are about staying over and stuff. I should have left last night.”

Minho shook his head, “No, seriously, I was not going to let you go anyways.”

“And I keep stealing your clothes…”

“Actually, it is a turn on seeing you in my clothes.”

Minho had mentioned this before, and Chan was beginning to think it could be another kink of the man.

Chan swallowed nervously. “You are so weird, Lee Minho.”

The younger man laughed, and they proceeded to finish their breakfast and clean up the dishes. Chan then followed Minho, as they entered the elevator, going down to the parking lot. He got into the passenger seat and watched as Minho started the car, driving off to their destination.

The car stopped at the traffic light and Chan could see from his peripheral vision, Minho watching him.

“You are staring.” Chan said a smile at the corner of his lips.

Minho spluttered, turning away quickly, “Sorry, orange is just a good colour on you.”

It was embarrassing but Chan knew the tips of his ears were turning pink and he tried to shake it off.

Minho turned left into the park, stopping the car once he parked it in a corner.

Chan waited, leaning against the back of the car as Minho searched for something at the backseat, he got a back out, opening and removing a DSLR camera.

“So, would you like to be my model?” Minho asked, wagging his eyebrows at him.

“Don’t you have any other models, waiting eagerly for you.”

Minho hummed for a while, thinking about it.

“Well…I wanted you.”

Chan at this point, have lost count of how many times Minho had said something that made his heart dance around in his mouth.

Minho had said it so casually and yet it tugged at Chan’s heartstrings.

The park was always a peaceful place to be at, just that Chan never thought he would come here with _Minho._ He always avoided the crowd, choosing to go to the more isolated areas, soaking up the silence. He was looking around at the scenery, at the trees surrounding him when he heard the sound of the camera clicking.

He turned around to the source of the sound and saw Minho standing a few feet away, the strap around his neck as he was clicking pictures of Chan.

“Hey. Don’t waste your energy taking pictures of me.” Chan whined, walking towards him.

“I am not wasting, you looked beautiful.” Minho said without any hesitation.

Chan could feel the heat rush to his face despite the cold weather. He was not used to the younger man complimenting him other than the usual phrases during sex. It was interesting to find out the different sides to Minho. Apparently, photography was another hobby for the man, though his passion was greater for dance.

Chan watched as Minho pointed out the subtle parts of the nature in the park that he would have normally missed, and he observed as Minho concentrated while capturing the moments.

They reached the lake and Chan sat on the grass by it, smiling and taking in the fresh air. He found himself wishing that he could have more days like these with Minho, a casual yet fun day. He knew he was the one who had brought the whole friends with benefits thing back up, yet he could not help but wonder if they would have been this close with each other without the sex. Before their deal, Minho was a bit closed off, even though he tried to be a friend, however after they started having sex, he got to see more of him.

Maybe the whole friends with benefits was just an excuse Chan could use so he could see more of the man. He did not know what he wanted anymore right now. So much had happened the past four months. Both sexually and emotionally.

Chan was surprised that Minho had even bothered to open up about his father, and mentioned his mother leaving, to him the day he came over to the apartment. That day, Minho’s vulnerability had captivated him, and he found him growing to admire the younger man, growing a bit too fond of him. His heart kept betraying him by palpitating really fast whenever the younger man was near him.

And when it came to the sex… well last night blew his mind off. He still remembered Minho telling him he bought the dildo specifically for him, which meant he had pictured the moment before. Minho had definitely thought about using the dildo on Chan before last night and that thought made heat crawl up his neck.

Every time he caught Minho staring at him, like the time at the ferris wheel, it made his heart tingle. He knew Minho hated relationships with a passion, something he never failed to mention whenever they were together, but he found himself wishing that the man would change his opinion on them. Maybe there was a tiny possibility that could change, looking at the way he was treating him in the recent weeks.

He was so deep in thought about Minho when he heard the clicking noises again and knew Minho was taking pictures of him. Usually he was self-conscious, he did not think he is good looking in any way, but he was enjoying the attention Minho was giving him today. He enjoyed knowing that Minho appreciated him and _maybe_ it was not only for sex.

“Are you done?” Chan laughed as Minho tried to capture him in different angles.

“Almost.” Minho smiled, placing his camera back in his bag and coming up to him, giving him a hand to pull him up.

“Do you come here often?” Chan asked, gesturing around him.

“I used to.” Minho said, a wistful look weaved into his eyes. “I used to come here back then whenever I was frustrated and just wallow in my sadness.”

Chan looked at the younger, a warm yet sad feeling stirring up in his guts.

“You don’t do it anymore?”

“I have four new friends now; I do think I am happier off.” Minho scratched his head, smiling at Chan, the light shining on his chiseled sculpture like features.

The clouds were getting dark and it looked like it was going to rain.

“We should get back to the car, before we get caught in the rain.” Minho suggested, leading the way back to his car as Chan followed behind.

Halfway there, the clouds opened up and the rain started pouring as the duo hurried to hide under a round shelter in an empty clearing.

“Oh nooo. It doesn’t look like it is going to stop for a while.” Minho complained, placing his bag on a dry bench.

“I actually love the rain, there is nothing as therapeutic as jumping, screaming and dancing in the rain.” Chan chuckled, placing his hands out to collect the water.

“I have never, played in the rain before.” Minho muttered, scratching his head.

“ _No ways._ You got to be kidding me.” Chan said, turning to him.

“I am a boring person, I know.” Minho sighed exaggeratedly, taking few steps closer to Chan near the end of the shelter.

“Are you allergic to making a fool out of yourself?” Chan laughed.

“Well…not really.”

“There is no one here right now…” Chan said and there was a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“So?”

Before Minho could realise what was happening, he felt a shove on his back, and he took three steps forward, out of the shelter and right under the pouring rain.

“What the fu- “

He was already soaked through the skin, his shirt clinging on to him as he swung around in shock, to the sight of Chan laughing his heart out, the dimples prominent as ever.

“What was that?” Minho asked, pushing the wet strands of his back.

“Well, everyone should experience the feeling of being drenched in the rain.”

“And you were going to let me experience this alone?”

Before Chan could react and move back, Minho had reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards him, their chests colliding.

Chan squealed and tried pushing Minho away who held him tighter to him.

“It is so cold.” Chan whined, wriggling away from the younger man.

“C’mon, share this experience with me.” Minho laughed, pulling Chan further away from the shelter.

“Aren’t you a dancer?” Chan asked, smiling up at him.

“I am not a dancer, I just dance, for fun.” Minho sighed, the water running down his back, making him shiver.

“Why don’t you dance for me for fun?”

Minho chuckled, “Kinky, but I will rather dance with you.”

He took Chan’s hand guiding one to his shoulder and holding on in his hand. Minho then slid a hand on his waist, the heat radiating through his skin. Minho slowly swayed along with Chan, twirling him around before moving with him.

Chan did not know how to dance and found himself stepping on the younger man’s shoes multiple times but it was not hard to establish that Minho was a natural, as he slowly led him through the dance.

“You know what the best therapy is?” Chan asked as Minho shook his head.

“Screaming in the rain, why don’t you try it?” He answered, nudging Minho with his elbow.

The man stared at him before glancing around, checking to see if they really were alone. He then stepped back, joining his hands together to cup his mouth before bellowing, “It is so _cold.”_

Chan burst out in giggles, “You could do better than that, Minho-ya.”

Minho took in a deep breath.

“Why couldn’t my father appreciate me, for once?”

His voice bounced through the rain, strong and deep and Chan listened quietly.

“I don’t even want him to tell me that he loves me, I just want him to say that I worked hard.” He announced loudly.

“Why is it that the issues I have with myself are mainly due to the faults of others? Why do I have to suffer the consequences of other people’s mistakes? It is not fair.”

Chan stood silently, taking in Minho’s perfect features as rain kept pouring down on them, taking in the pain in the younger’s eyes. He watched as Minho turned to him.

“Now your turn, I guess?”

Chan smothered back a tender smile as he shouted out, “Why is it so _hard_ to accomplish dreams? How much longer is this hell going to last.”

Chan continued to yell out, “And why is it so _hard_ to fall in love with someone who would actually love you back?”

“What is even love?”

In his peripheral vision, he saw Minho still and stare at him.

Minho wondered who he was talking about, he knew the man definitely did not love anyone currently, otherwise he would not be sleeping with him. Maybe it was someone from the past?

Minho wiped the rainwater from his forehead, “I am so happy, and I don’t even know why.” He hollered over the sound of the pouring rain. “Life is still the same, but I feel so happy.”

Chan could feel his entire self, melt the moment Minho declared that, his heart was scrunching up at the younger’s happiness. It was definitely weird, to feel this connection to someone who he thought he would never even meet again. Maybe this was fate. Maybe this was an _unplanned falling_.

“Are you ticklish?” Chan asked, looking at the man before him, quirking up an eyebrow inquiringly.

Chan ran his hands along Minho’s sides, feeling those toned muscles through the thin fabric and started tickling him, so that Minho would let him go.

It worked as Minho immediately jumped away from the older man, chasing after him as he tried to get back to the shelter.

He caught him by the waist, turning him around and started tickling his sides. Chan was breathless with laughter and tried to hold Minho’s wrists down, failing.

The rain was pouring down in torrents, and they were soaked to the bone, cold making their teeth rattle but enjoying this way too much as the two of them continued to double down with glee. He could not breathe thanks to the younger man who was tickling him at all his sensitive spots.

“Stop. Minho. Stop. Tickling. Me” Chan commanded; each word punctuated by a breathless laugh.

Chan got out of Minho’s hold and jumped onto a puddle that was near the younger man, watching Minho’s expression turn to disgust as the water went into his shoes, wetting his socks.

“Now you are really in trouble.” Minho said but started giggling again as he pulled Chan close to him, their noses bumping together.

Chan never had this much fun with Minho before and he stared up at the sculpture like man. The rainwater was pouring down from his soaked red strands of hair that was half sleeked back and half falling into his eyes. Minho was looking at him like he was diving into his soul. He saw the man’s giggles cease, as he tilted his head, slowly joining their lips together. Chan was shocked at first, eyes fluttering close as he melted into the kiss. It was not like their previous kisses, this one was tender and sweet, almost _too sweet_ and Chan was not used to this gentle treatment from the redhead.

Minho’s hand slided up, caressing his face gently as his angled his head, kissing him more. Chan felt his lips move along Minho’s and could not help wondering how they fitted each other’s so perfectly.

He was kissing Minho under the rain.

And his heart was thudding a tad too uncomfortably against his rib cage, and it could no longer be ignored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank everyone who commented on this till now. I have never written a chaptered fic before and this was a challenge, I also had a lot of thoughts about majority of the people not appreciating bottom chan and maybe no one would end up reading this. So, It made my heart feel warm that there are people reading this and commenting and I love you all <3 And I am sorry if there is too much sex, it will get toned down later hahaha  
> Thank you for motivating me and for making me want to write more! I hope I don't disappoint!


	10. Chapter 10

After the day in the rain, Chan’s mind was filled with nothing but thoughts, about his feelings for the other man. He knew he would be stupid to ignore his heart right now, but he also knew he was going to end up spoiling everything. Even though Minho was definitely more comfortable with him now, he knew he would scare him away just with the mere mention of relationships.

As Minho dropped him home, he went up, taking a hot shower and changing into warm clothes before taking out his laptop, typing down the words, getting a sudden spur of inspiration for a song.

Before he knew it, he stayed up the whole night, composing. Chan was not someone who was often proud of his work, but when he listened to the end result, he felt a burst of pride surge through him. This could be his best work yet.

The two of them started meeting up with each other more often, sometimes alone and sometimes with the group. The outings were starting to be more casual and about spending time with each other rather than just having sex and it was a change that Chan welcomed. He found himself staying up nights just to text Minho, about the most random things from musicals to TV shows and books.

One night, they were lying on the bed, they had tried to watch a movie on the laptop, which ended up with Chan sucking Minho off and completely ignoring the movie. Chan could sense Minho was going to leave soon, so he decided to start a conversation, to elongate the time he could spend with the younger man.

“So, tell me something about yourself.” Chan asked, as he traced circles on Minho’s lean abdomen.

Minho seemed startled by the initiation of conversation and looked at the older man, raising his eyebrow. “What do you want to know?”

“Let’s ask each other questions, any random questions.” Chan said, raising an eyebrow up, “I will start.”

“What is your favourite colour?”

“Red…” Minho said, “What about yours?”

“Black.” Chan answered immediately without any hesitation.

“Figured…” Minho chuckled, “What is something you would really like to get as a gift?” He then asked.

“Hmmm…” Chan hummed trailing off, “That is kind of difficult, I prefer gifts that have a meaning, a story behind them. Something that would mean a lot.” He said honestly.

“Do you have any ideal gifts in mind?”

“Well… I prefer gifts that are homemade, mainly because I can buy anything I want with money, but when a gift is self-made, I appreciate the efforts behind it.” Minho answered.

“That is so...cute." Chan chuckled, “What is your ideal date place?” He asked.

“I don’t really have one, but I love long drives, you just drive and talk and maybe stop somewhere nice to eat…” Minho answered, “What about you?”

“I really wanted to go to the beach, you know those that have rocks with waves crashing against it. Those kinds of places would always be my favourite, just sitting there, talking through the day, watching the sunset…maybe staying till the night to look at the stars.” Chan sighed dreamily, trailing off.

“Wow…you are a poet.” Minho said in awe as Chan snickered.

“So…would you ever tell your father that you feel invalidated by him?” Chan asked seriously.

“Well… Would you ever release the songs lying on your laptop and let go of your fear of failure?” Minho questioned him back.

“I don’t have a fear of failure.” Chan grumbled slowly, turning away from the younger man because it was actually true. One of the reasons why Chan let his passion lie in the dust was because he would never be good enough. Why try if you only end up failing?

“And I asked you first.”

“Well…” Minho said, getting up from the bed and dressing himself up. “I don’t know why you are asking me all these, but I have to go.”

Chan narrowed his eyes at him, “What is your problem with talking?”

Minho cursed under his breath, torn between leaving and wanting to stay with the older, to seek comfort in his presence.

After some time spent on overthinking, he sat down on the bed, “I honestly wanted to tell him that.” Minho answered as he played with the loose threads on the blankets. “A lot of my insecurities and weaknesses were born due to my parents’ mistakes. They just do not realise it. However, at least my father did not abandon me, so I feel like I owe him and have to do whatever he says.”

“Minho-yah.” Chan said sadly, “You don’t have to owe your dad anything, they are supposed to be there for you. He will understand if you actually try talking.”

“There is no point talking about feelings, it does not really get you anywhere.” Minho sighed and he knew he was a bit cold, so he tried stirring the topic away.

“Anyways, what about you? Are you ever planning to release your songs?”

“Actually, I can play one of my songs for you, and you will understand why I don’t try.” Chan breathed in deeply, getting up and throwing on a pair of boxers. “Just so you know, I haven’t let _anyone_ listen to it, so please be gentle with the criticism.”

Minho could not believe that Chan was actually trusting him enough to play his self-composed song to him. He watched as the older plopped on to the bed beside him, opening up his laptop and waiting for it to start. Minho noticed Chan had been trusting him _way_ too much lately, be it behind closed doors or with emotions, and Minho could not tell if he enjoyed it or wanted to run away from it.

Chan opened up a folder, the mouse hovering over one of the songs. He watched as the older got nervous, visibly swallowing before looking up, catching his gaze.

“Here it goes…” He breathed out as he clicked play.

The music then filled the room, taking the breath out of Minho. It was a slow song, the melody flowing smoothly until a voice started singing, and that voice definitely must have belonged to an angel, because there was no way someone could be this good at singing. Listening to the lyrics, Minho could feel himself becoming emotional. The song itself was about someone not wanting to admit they were in love, someone who was scared of love and the voice portrayed the lyrics with so much emotions and feelings that it was ripping at Minho’s heart.

To his surprise he found his tear ducts betraying him as they started welling up at his eyes and he tried to rapidly blink away the tears.

Once the song slowly came to a stop, Minho turned to see Chan staring at him with anticipation in his eyes, which changed to shock once he noticed the tears in his eyes.

“That bad?” Chan asked, tilting his head to the side.

Minho took a moment to compose himself, “That was…beautiful, Channie.”

Minho wiped away a lone tear that deceived him by trailing down his cheek, “I am so embarrassed right now.”

Chan chuckled softly, “Hey it is perfectly okay to cry.”

“Was that you singing?” Minho asked, staring at the ceiling, fanning himself, trying to dry his eyes.

“Yes…” Chan chuckled sheepishly, “I am not a good singer but oh well.”

“You are kidding me.” Minho breathed, his lips parted in awe, “You have such a beautiful voice, and the music and the _lyrics_. Do you write the lyrics out of experience or are they just your imagination?” He asked.

“Well…most of my lyrics are from my experiences, I feel like it is more heartfelt if it came from experiences, but some could be fictional too.” Chan answered with a shrug.

“I am so proud of you.” Minho breathed and the tips of Chan’s ears turned a dark red as he laughed awkwardly, he was never one who was able to accept compliments.

“Really, Chan, this was a masterpiece.” Minho praised him, stroking his back gently. “If you don’t mind, could you send the song to me?”

Chan looked at him in astonishment, “You really want this? It is just a demo, nothing special.”

“I want it Chan.” Minho said firmly, and Chan opened up his email to send the man the song. He did not expect this reaction out of the man, he did not expect him to actually shed a tear for _his_ song, especially when the main inspiration was Minho himself, but he was so happy.

“So… who is this person you don’t want to admit you have fallen in love with?” Minho asked him, looking at him with curiosity lining his eyes.

Chan laughed awkwardly, “No one in particular.”

“C’mon you could tell me.”

“It really is no one.” Chan said, avoiding his eyes.

Minho could see the older did not want to talk more about it so letting go of the topic.

“This was really good, why are you not planning on releasing it?” Minho asked.

“I can't just release them…” Chan sighed, “All I know is I want to quit my job, but I need the money and it is so difficult to make it in the music industry.”

“You can just start applying to the companies for jobs and you know at least one of them will call you in to try you out and with this song… Chan I really think you can make it.” Minho said sincerely and Chan was feeling touched.

“I am…scared. What if they do not like it? Now, music is my biggest comfort, my safety blanket…if I get rejected, I might lose my interest and my motivation, and I can’t risk that.”

“I was right, you do have a fear of rejection.” Minho said softly.

“It just isn’t that easy, Minho. I have tried before, for so long and didn’t get a call back and it broke me…I do not think I am that good enough yet.” Chan sighed, looking into Minho’s eyes and the despair in it broke Minho.

Silence filled the room for a while until Chan broke it with a question.

“So why do you hate relationships so much?” Chan asked timidly.

Minho knew Chan deserved a chance to know especially since he had opened up to him, had allowed him to listen to his song when no one else had the opportunity but Minho could feel himself closing down again.

“I just don’t understand the idea of it. I mean, look at us two.” Minho said gesturing at them, “We have been enjoying ourselves for what, almost five months now? And it had been purely based on sex, and occasional meetups and without the burden of commitments. Which was why I feel it had been going on well.” Minho replied staring back into Chan’s eyes. “Imagine actually being in love or something, that shit always ends in a disaster.”

Minho saw some emotions clouding the older man’s eyes, mixed between sadness and disappointment and he felt bad. He tried to steer the topic away as this would always be sensitive to him.

“Thank you, Chan.” Minho muttered.

“For what?” Chan asked, pursuing his lips.

“I know it must have been difficult, to finally show one of your work to someone, so thank you.”

“I am glad it was you though.” Chan hummed, switching his laptop off and putting it away.

“Thank you for appreciating it, Minho-yah.” Chan said, his voice filled with sincerity, smiling at him so genuinely.

Chan’s eyes had crinkled up into crescents, the dimples near his lips so deep so prominent and Minho could feel his heart _melt._ Before he could stop himself, he reached out and pinched Chan’s cheek, poking at his dimple. Chan immediately stopped smiling, looking at him in bewilderment.

“What are you doing?” Chan asked the younger man, baffled.

Minho retreated his finger back quickly, looking away sheepishly, “Sorry, I always kind of wanted to do that.”

Chan started laughing again at that. “I think you should be careful Minho; we don’t want the relationship anti falling for me now do we?”

The sound of his laugh was like fairy bells twinkling in the atmosphere. Minho loved knowing that he was the reason why this man was laughing; he was the cause of the dimples and he wanted to reach out and hug him. The thought startled Minho, knowing he had somehow, became too soft for the other and he could not allow that.

He pulled Chan forward by his neck, crushing their mouths together and Chan made a startled noise against his teeth as he held on to him. Minho kissed him hard, stopping only to get rid of his own shirt. Once they were naked, Minho rolled over Chan on the bed, hovering above him where he kissed and marked every inch of Chan’s pale skin, marking him over and over again.

Chan switched positions with Minho, pushing him down onto bed as he straddled his lap.

“Today, Channie is in charge.” He sighed happily.

Minho’s breath was punched out of his body when he saw Chan suck on two of his fingers, his eyes on the younger man all the while. He smirked as he pulled them out with a wet pop and it disappeared between his legs, fingering himself open, on Minho’s lap.

“Channie” Minho moaned sitting up and leaning against the bed comfortably, looking away knowing that he would not be able to control himself if he watched Chan finger himself.

“ _Look at me, Minho.”_ Chan moaned and Minho could not help but _look,_ watch his fingers slide in and out, listening to the moans and gasps that Chan was letting out.

Chan then removed his fingers, reaching down to Minho’s member, stroking it, using the precome to slick him up.

Minho watched as Chan steadied himself, balancing himself with one hand on Minho’s shoulder and one hand on Minho’s cock, positioning himself over and slowly lowering himself, until he is sitting flush in Minho’s lap, wrapping his arms around the younger man’s neck. He could feel Chan’s tight walls clench around his raw member and the feeling was too tremendous.

Chan looked so _beautiful_ , sitting there on Minho’s lap, full to the brim and before Minho could make him move, the older man rolled his hips down. They were so close to each other and this was so _intimate._ Chan was a moaning mess on his lap, moving up and down on his member at a feverish pace, his nails digging into Minho’s shoulders, breaking through the skin, and drawing little lines.

Chan closed his eyes, lips parting as Minho kissed his neck, nipping at the skin. He gripped Minho’s chin, tilting it up before crashing their lips together. The kiss was, like all their previous rendezvous, painful, teeth clashing but neither cared. They were just desperate to taste each other as much as they could, to feel each other. Chan broke away from the kiss when he felt his head spinning from the lack of air.

Pleasure was hitting him in waves with every movement as Chan rocked his hips, picking up pace. He could not stop looking up at Chan’s face. Sweat was dripping from his temple, he was biting his lips as he fucked himself on Minho’s lap. The noises Chan emits during sex was just sinful, full of curses and Minho found himself thrusting up, to drive into Chan even deeper. He moved his hands from his waist to grab Chan’s ass, squeezing it and watched him arch his back, his thrusts becoming erratic.

Minho could feel his release coming soon and wrapped a hand around Chan’s hard dick, stroking it as the older man shouted out, getting louder when Minho started jerking him off.

After a few more thrusts and flicking of Minho’s wrist, Chan came on Minho’s stomach, screaming out his name over and over again, trembling in his arms.

Chan continued to roll his hips down, and Minho pulled the man closer to him, biting him sharply on his neck, thrusting upwards into him. The sight of Chan looking so spent made his hips stutter and he could feel himself coming undone soon.

“Chan I am going to come.” Minho panted.

“I want to feel you come inside me. I want you to fill me up.” Chan whined, his nails digging into his shoulders and -

 _Fuck._ That was enough for Minho to release, right into Chan who moaned loudly.

Chan hid his face in the crook of Minho’s neck, catching his breath before he pulled away from him, getting up slowly. 

Minho felt an intense burst of emotions right then, which he tried to push away as the sort of feeling you get after sex.

“Let us go take a shower, huh.” Minho suggested, as he dragged Chan up, ignoring his tired whines, heading off to the shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Can they just date already?  
> Also me: nah let's drag this more!


	11. Chapter 11

One would say Chan was starting to get too hopeful about his relationship with Minho. However, he really wanted to believe there was a progress, from a one-night stand to being friends for a brief moment, to becoming fuck buddies and now actually meeting up whenever they have free time. They no longer stuck to a schedule. Minho was like a drug and he was getting addicted to him, but he could not control it.

_Chan: Hey what are you up to today?_

_Minho: Nothing much really, I am bored._

_Chan: Same. I saw this recipe on brownies the other day, do you want to bake with me?_

_Minho: Sure, why don’t you come over?_

Chan threw his phone on to the table, smiling as he got ready.

Chan was no Felix, which meant he was not a genius when it came to cooking. He was staring at Minho, who was looking through the recipe on his phone with his sleeves rolled up till his elbows, trying to measure out the right amount of flour.

“Why did you want to bake, if you didn’t know how to bake?” Minho grumbled, breaking the eggs into a container, and beating them.

“I was craving for them?” Chan answered simply, shrugging. “Aren’t you supposed to be good at everything Minho-ya?” Chan teased him, poking his tongue at him and Minho wanted to kiss that teasing smile off his face.

“Ok try to set that cake beater up, we will just use it to mix everything together.” Minho said, pointing over to a machine at the corner. Chan headed there with a groan. It was pretty domestic, baking with Minho in the huge kitchen, and Chan often enjoyed these moments as they indicated their relationship could be more than sex.

“Okay I think it is ready, did you put the flour in the egg, butter, sugar mixture or whatever Google told you to do yet?” Chan asked.

“Yes. Yes Chan, I did exactly what Google told me to do.” Minho replied, passing him the brownie batter mix, “We will just use the machine to beat it up more, to make it finer, I guess.”

Chan hummed in reply, taking the hand mixer, and placing it inside the brownie batter. He switched it on and to his surprise, the batter flew everywhere, spraying on to the walls, and all over himself, getting some on his face. Chan yelped in horror, stepping back from the darn machine, as Minho jumped in to switch it off.

There was a moment of silence, which was then broken by Minho bursting into laughter.

 _“Stop,”_ Chan groaned as he felt the stickiness of flour combined with eggs all over him.

“Why did you set it on a high speed?” Minho asked as he struggled for air.

“How would I know how this stupid thing works?” Chan whined, feeling really stupid with himself.

He saw Minho look over at him, before crackling again and Chan was getting annoyed, pouting his lips out.

“You look really cute.” Minho finally said, looking at him through watery eyes from all the laughing.

“I am glad one of us is having fun.” Chan called blearily, looking into the almost empty bowl of the brownie mix. “Channie really wanted brownies…”

Chan yelped again as he felt strong arms around him, lifting him up and placing him gently on the kitchen counter-top.

“Minho, what are you doing?”

“You look so irresistibly cute.” Minho sighed, “and you got the batter on your lips.” He said, placing his arms on either side of him and leaning down to capture his lips, licking the batter off and kissing him softly.

Chan loved it when Minho showed this soft side of him, flames erupting in his stomach.

Minho pulled away, smiling at the older, “Let us make them again, and this time, I will make it and you just…sit here and watch.”

Chan watched, swinging his legs, as Minho did everything from scratch again, his heart fluttering once again at how everything seemed so _simple_. He watched Minho beat the eggs until they were a smooth texture. He smacked Minho on his chest, hard, when the younger dipped his finger in flour and wiped it on his nose, laughing all the while. Minho had a very special, loud, heart-warming laugh, one that you could not help but join in as it was very contagious, and Chan found himself laughing along with the man.

Soon everything was ready, and Minho finished using the machine on the batter, boasting all the while about how easy it was and Chan rolled his eyes.

Once everything was ready and placed into the oven. Minho leaned into Chan, casually getting in between his thighs, his hands roaming up and down his sides.

“Minho… I am feeling so sticky.”

“Then I should go ahead and make you stickier huh?” He whispered against Chan’s ears.

Chan felt the heat creep up his cheeks and heard Minho’s snicker.

“I just love teasing you like this.” He said as he stepped away from him, “Go take a shower and change your clothes before the brownie is done. Just pick anything you want from my closet.”

To say that Chan was embarrassed would be an understatement. The younger man was always able to melt him with his words and touches and it was slightly embarrassing at how turned on Chan was when Minho was pressed against him on the kitchen counter.

He grumbled under his breath as he hopped down from the counter, heading to Minho’s bedroom. After he was done with his shower and wrapped himself up in a towel, he walked into Minho’s closet looking for something to wear. He was still a little mad at Minho for leading him on earlier, just then, an idea hit him. It was time for revenge.

“So, Minho. Do you have any left-over batter in that bowl?” Chan asked as he stepped into the kitchen. Minho had his back to him, cleaning up the kitchen and Chan watched with a smirk, as the younger’s man jaw dropped open when he turned towards him.

Chan had decided to test out another possible kink of Minho’s and watching his reaction, he might have been spot on. Chan was wearing an over-sized shirt belonging to the man, just covering the top of his thighs and that was that, leaving majority of his legs exposed. He watched as Minho’s eyes raked over his form, over and over again.

“I got pants too, you know.” Minho finally managed to choke out. Chan let out a soft laugh as he walked towards the younger man, casually moving past him to pick up the bowl in his hands, dipping a finger and collecting the batter before putting it in his mouth and sucking on it. He watched as Minho’s eyes turned dark before he leaned down to switch off the oven.

“Hm… that was delicious.”

“So…is the brownie done? Is it time for some dessert?” Chan asked, removing his finger with a plop before gathering more of the batter and sucking on it.

“I don’t know about the brownie…but it is time for dessert.” Minho uttered, his voice filled with want and arousal and Chan was so proud of himself.

Minho walked towards Chan, closing the gap between them, and pressing him against the dining table.

“What do you think you are doing, Channie?” Minho breathed and Chan gasped as he felt Minho’s erection against him, already so hard and prominent.

“Just eating the batter.” Chan replied innocently and let out a soft whine as Minho lifted his legs, hoisting him up on to the table, his hands moving up and down his bare thighs, goosebumps erupting all over his skin.

Chan let out a high and breathy moan when Minho lifted one of his legs up, nuzzling into the juicy thigh, rolling the smooth, milky flesh in between his teeth, biting on it hard. He let the abused skin loose from his teeth, sucking at the spot and soothing it with his tongue.

“Look at the way your beautiful skin turns pink with the slightest bite, Channie.” Minho growled, as he continued littering his thigh with bites all over.

Chan leaned back on his hands, biting his lips hard from the pleasure as Minho continued abusing his thigh, nipping at the skin.

“Do you have _any_ idea what you do to me?” Minho asked, moving on to the other leg, giving it the same treatment as he bit down hard, eliciting mewls out from Chan.

“You, just turning up, wearing only a shirt, _my shirt,_ looking absolutely wreckable, sucking your fingers in front of me and still managing to act innocent.” Minho moaned as he moved up, moving the collar of the shirt to the side before nibbling on his collarbone.

“Do you want to punished, Channie?”

Chan giggled breathlessly as he tilted his head back, exposing more of his skin, for Minho to leave his artwork on. Chan’s long fingers hooked in the front of Minho’s pants, opening the zip, and dipping his hand inside, wrapping them around the younger’s pulsating member, his thumb playing with the slit.

Minho’s moans came out in deep breaths at Chan’s ministrations as he tried to steady his breathing.

Minho slide his hands up Chan’s shirt, groaning in pleasure when he realised the older was not wearing anything else inside. He inserted his fingers in the tight, soaking wet heat, prepping Chan as quickly as he could before removing them.

Chan removed his hand from Minho’s member as he felt himself being pushed back on to the table, sliding down on the smooth surface till his ass was on the edge of the table. Minho did not give him any time to catch his breath as he removed his own pants and boxers, hoisting up Chan’s thighs before sliding his member into him, making the man moan out loud. He thrusted in harder, increasing his speed with each thrust, drinking in Chan’s moans and whimpers, and admiring the way the older man was sprawled on the table, the way he curled his fingers and bit his lips. Minho aimed for Chan’s prostate, already an expert in finding the sweet spot, and thrusting right at it as Chan kept asking for more.

The older man arched his back against the mahogany wood, choking out pleasured cries, clutching on to the table that was shaking with Minho’s force, every thrust sending the older man to absolute bliss.

“You have really been a bad boy today.” Minho moaned.

Chan let out a gasp as he was suddenly lifted off the table and slammed against the wall. Minho pressed him against it as he hoisted up his legs, winding them around his waist. Chan locked his thighs together, bringing Minho in closer and the older man grappled on to the wall for balance before opting to wrap them around the younger’s neck. Minho positioned himself at Chan’s entrance, pushing into it again and started thrusting up, his grip tight on the older man’s thighs. Chan smothered back a cry, mercilessly clenching on the hair at Minho’s nape. He leaned down to kiss the younger man desperately, their tongues clashing together.

“The things you do to me.” Minho moaned as he broke away from the kiss, pounding harder into the older man, fucking him hard against the wall. Chan smothered back a cry as Minho continued thrusting into him relentlessly, his back sliding up and down the wall, letting out a shuddering breath.

The pleasure was becoming too overwhelming and Chan’s pants became uneven, the pain in his thighs from the locked grip getting replaced by pleasure. He met Minho’s eyes as the man continued pounding into him, the movement of his hips and thrusts proving that he indeed was a good dancer. With a last high-pitched cry, Chan came with a loud moan tearing through his throat. With a few more thrusts, Minho manage to release inside of Chan, the hot liquid filling up his hole. Minho lets go of Chan and watched as he feebly dropped to the floor, his knees almost folding from under him.

Minho held him up, balancing him before pulling him in close to join their lips together, kissing him hard, again and again. When they were both finally breathless for air, they let go of each other, Chan falling on to the ground and laying spent against the wall.

Minho gazed at Chan, the shirt had ridden up and he could see the red and purple marks littering over those milky white thighs accompanied by the cum stains as they drizzled down his thighs and the sight of him was so pornographic and it was a sight Minho would not mind seeing every day.

Once they had showered and Chan opted to put on some shorts finally, they were seated across each other on the couch. To Chan’s delight, the brownie had turned out nice, in fact, it was really delicious. Minho was really good at everything. He noticed the younger man was not eating though.

“You really are good at everything, Minho. Don’t you want to taste your masterpiece?” Chan asked as he stuffed another spoonful of the sweet delight into his mouth.

He let out a noise of surprise as Minho kissed him, inserting his tongue into Chan’s mouth, and licking into it, tasting the brownie mingled with the taste of the older man.

He broke away from the kiss, laughing at Chan’s surprised expression, “I thought you would never ask.”

“Stop…Stop kissing me like that.” Chan whined, smacking Minho on the arm.

“Why? Are you falling in love with me?” Minho laughed, as he picked up his plate and started eating.

Chan knew it was a joke, but he could not manage the way his heart started racing at that sentence.

He kept ignoring all those times his heart had tried to warn him. But when Chan saw Minho laugh with him, his eyes turning into crescents, and snuggling into him playfully, he could not control the emotions that were threatening to rush out.

As Minho took him in his bedroom again, Chan felt his heart would burst as the younger man stared down at him with admiration and something clicked inside him. All this while he had been foolishly denying this feeling, as it was so foreign, so strange and he had never felt this way before for anyone else. All this while, he had been craving for any sort of attention from the man, growing fond of him and caring for him. All this while, the butterflies in Chan's stomach that flutter every time Minho was present, were trying to tell him something.

Chan was in love with Minho, a man who hated relationships with a passion.

Chan was in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you nervous yet?


	12. Chapter 12

The weeks soon pass into Spring, the cold air and jackets getting replaced by warmer days and lesser clothes. It was surprising how eight months had passed by since Minho and Chan had started the whole Friends with Benefits deal.

Chan always had the ability of making Minho feel special. This was what Minho always wanted but never got, someone who would listen to him, someone who would make him laugh, make all his worries vanish away. He was starting to appreciate the presence of the older man in his life more. They had been meeting almost every day now and have been inseparable. Hyunjin had teased Minho about how he always had a smile on his face recently, and if he was not careful he would lose out on his title as the ‘cold one.’ This was amusing to Minho, who believed he would never ever find someone in his life. However, the idea of a committed relationship still scared Minho, treasuring whatever they had at the moment.

Minho knew he was being difficult though, he noticed Chan had started to open up more to him, confiding him with his problems and stories while Minho couldn't cross that line of comfort yet, even though he definitely was trying. He could sense that the older man would get irritated at times when Minho would visit him only for sex and leave without talking and it would make his heart feel some sort of way and he would find himself calling Chan again for dinner or to watch a movie together the next day to make up for it, even though Minho knew he didn't really have to. It was not part of their agreement.

As days kept passing into weeks, Minho learnt a lot about Chan, like the fact that his family had moved to Australia while Chan decided to stay back, to maybe achieve his dreams of being a composer one day. Chan never had a boyfriend before, which Minho found surprising since the man was so attractive and funny but the older man had confided in him that he was scared to be in a relationship as it might not last and it would break his heart. Chan eats 6 cups of ramen in one go sometimes. All these little facts about Chan intrigued Minho and he was feeling happier ever since the man entered his life.

Minho was done with work and got up, packing his things up happily, as he left the office. He was going to meet Chan, for dinner as they both just wanted to try out the Chinese cuisine.

Just as he was about to leave, one of his colleagues came up telling him that his father was looking for him. Minho sighed knowing it was for the best to finish with whatever his father had to say now and entered his office.

“What now?” Minho asked coldly.

“I do not like that tone, son. I have news for you.”

The frown lines on Minho’s forehead increased as he locked eyes with his father.

“What do you think of her?” His father asked, showing him a picture of a women who looked like she was in her early twenties, beautiful, posh, and definitely someone Minho was not interested in.

“I am not interested.”

“Well… you have not met her. I arranged a meeting for you the day after tomorrow. She is my friend’s daughter and if you talk to her, we can arrange an alliance. This could help join both of our companies together and gain more profits.”

Minho was speechless, not believing what he just heard.

“You want me to marry someone I have never known? As part of a business deal?” He scoffed in disbelief, his voice stern, dark eyes glaring at his father.

“You are meeting her the day after tomorrow, so you will get to know her.” His father replied, not even caring about what Minho had to say in this matter.

“Her parents are well off, so she would not be like the ones who would date you for money.”

“Why do you think someone would date me only for money? Is my personality that bad?” Minho asked, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"First of all dad, do you even know what kind of people I would like?" 

“Minho…” His father sighed, looking at him pitifully, like his son was too stupid to understand how the world works.

“No one would love you for who you are these days. And for rich people, it is even worse. They only value you until you could do something for them. When you could no longer give what they want, they leave.”

Minho could feel his soul shatter, an empty feeling creeping up his heart when he heard his worst fear being spoken out like that.

“I have to go.” Minho whispered turning back.

“Son…” His father called out.

“I will send you her number, meet her and there is a party next month. I want you to attend that and you could take her to that.”

Minho nodded, feeling numb all over as he left, walking to his car.

He rested his head on the steering wheel for a while, trying to calm his breathing down when his phone pinged.

It was Chan.

_Chan: I will be done in another fifteen minutes. See you!_

His father’s words triggered his deepest fears. No one would love him if it were not for his money or his connections. What was the guarantee that Chan was not one of them? The recent months Minho had let his guard down, he had been careless, letting Chan in, giving the older man space in his cold, heart. He had become too comfortable with the man, had been spending time with him and enjoying it.

He remembered all those times he had felt something deep within him for Chan, be it at the Ferris Wheel or the day in the rain, but those feelings would always be something he would never understand.

Minho hated how one conversation could make his walls crumble down like a pack of dominoes. He hated how complicated he could be at times, how his mind shuts down and he knew he was being unreasonable about Chan, but times like these...he could only focus on the negative aspects.

He felt all the insecurities and fear he had tried to bury inside, come creeping back, fully blown.

Maybe, it was time to go back to how they were before. Time to go back to just purely sex.

The whole time at dinner, Minho knew he was being closed off. Chan kept talking, trying to keep the conversation going and asked him if everything was alright to which he just nodded his head. It was a mistake, to have diverted from the original intent of their relationship which was sex. Once they were done, they headed off to Minho’s car, silence wafting around them.

Chan reached out fiddling with the radio station, trying to find a good song to play. Once he was satisfied, he leaned back, turning to look at the younger man.

“Something is bothering you.” Chan mentioned, and it was not a question. The man knew him so well by now, to tell what he was feeling.

“It will be okay later.” Minho sighed, knowing it is fruitless to deny.

"This was _not_ a date, if you were worried about that." Chan said softly.

"This isn't about that." Minho answered, not bothering to explain further.

"Why do I feel like I am the only one who keeps opening up?" Chan whispered, his eyes flickering over to observe Minho's expression.

"It is not that easy for me." The younger man replied, his lips pressed tightly.

Chan sighed and it was in exasperation and frustration at his lack of communication.

“What?” Minho asked.

“It is just…” Chan choked, grimacing a little, “Every time I think that we took one step forward, you take two steps back.”

Minho’s stomach cramped with anxiety, he wished he could tell the older that he himself did not understand what he was feeling, for him to talk to someone about it. He was never one for expressing and how was he supposed to tell him that he was going to go see a woman? For a potential marriage arrangement? How was he supposed to tell the man he _might_ have felt something for him but now it was all going to be locked up in a box and tucked away.

“It really is nothing to worry about.” Minho said, keeping his tone as flat as possible.

He could see the older man had given up, looking outside the window, staring at the passing scenery instead.

He reached Chan’s apartment, parking alongside the street instead of going inside the parking lot indicating he did not want to spend the night at Chan’s place.

Chan sighed again, a bit heavy, as he got of the car, “I will see you later I guess.” He said, slamming the door shut and walking away.

Minho chewed his lips, cracking his fingers before starting the car and driving away.

Chan texted the younger man the next day and watched as the message got blue ticked. He sighed as he threw his phone on to the table and continued to stare at his computer in pretense of getting some work done.

“Everything alright, hyung?” Jeongin asked him, walking over to him.

“Yeah… Yeah I guess so.” Chan said, hoping his phone would light up with a notification or something.

“Relationship troubles? I can help you.” The younger man chirped up brightly as he pulled a seat and sat next to him.

“It is _not_ a relationship. Just a friend probably going through something but shutting me out instead of letting me in.” Chan mumbled, turning in his chair to look at Jeongin.

“Hmm… I would say give them some time hyung. Some people just do not like asking for help you know. Or they struggle with it. All you could do is let them know you are there for them.” Jeongin said seriously.

Chan stared at the younger man in awe, “When did you become so wise my young caterpillar?”

Jeongin chuckled, “Please, I am wiser than I look. But yeah, don’t be so upset hyung. It makes me sad.” He smiled at him before getting up and patting him gently on his back and scurrying away before their boss could see that they were slacking off at work.

Chan sent another text to Minho.

_Chan: Hey I am here for you._

He watched with a heavy heart as that message got blue ticked as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noooo Minho you were doing so well sweetie :(


	13. Chapter 13

Minho got a text from an unknown number the next day.

_Hey. This is Mina, I am supposed to meet you today._

Minho sighed heavily as he wanted the day to be over with already. He hadn't meant to ignore Chan on purpose but it was just that his mind was overwhelmed right now and distancing himself from people was his defense mechanism. 

He was so frustrated, mostly at himself, for always being so complicated, so difficult and for dragging Chan into this mess but it was going to be fine, it was not like they were in love with each other.

He sent back a text to Mina, asking her what time she was available to meet and for the location.

After he received a reply from her, he slowly started gathering his things, heading off to the restaurant.

Needless to say, the date was a disaster. Mina already had a hundred complaints up her sleeves by the time they made it to the table.

“You are Minho, right?” She asked, turning away and gesturing for the waiter to come over.

“Yes.” Minho said as his eyes scanned the menu.

Once they had rattled off their orders, they resumed their conversations.

Minho could tell they had nothing in common and he was already thinking of an excuse to get away from the place. As the food arrived and they started eating, he was surprised to find that he missed _Chan._ His dimply smile as he laughed across the table, his snarky comments, and his warmth. They were not in a relationship but Minho felt like he was cheating on the older for even showing up for a date.

“Minho?”

Suddenly there was a hand in front of his face, waving to bring him back into the conversation.

“Sorry.” Minho hummed.

“I was asking you if you were okay with this alliance. We could still see and date other people; this marriage is just so it is beneficial for our companies.”

Minho stared at her for a while, trying to understand if he heard her right. Clearly here was someone who wanted to marry him for wealth.

Maybe, Minho would have agreed to this in the past, living just to satisfy his father's wishes but something had changed.

“Sorry, I am not interested.” Minho said coldly as he asked for the bill.

“What?” Mina said, confusion and anger clouding her pretty face slowly. “Your father told me everything was fixed and I just had to see you and confirm everything, but you are rejecting?”

“I don’t know or care what my dad told you, he is not the one who is going to get married. It is me, and I said no. Sorry for wasting your time.” Minho said, his tone cold.

“Like I said, you can continue seeing whoever you are seeing. This marriage is a good business profit. Don’t be so selfish.” She bit back. “Think about it, at least I allow you to have fun with others after marriage, do you think whoever you get married to would allow you to do that? They would just drain your money off and not let you have fun.” Mina locked her jaw and seethed.

A deadly silence ruminated in the space between them as Minho tried to control his anger.

“I said I am not interested.” Minho said angrily as he paid the waiter before getting up and leaving in anger.

As he sat in his car for around ten minutes, trying to calm himself down, his phone rang, and it was his father.

“What do you want?” Minho asked his voice rising with frustration.

“Mina told me you were really cold to her.” His father said, disapproval clear in his tone.

“I don’t like her.” Minho bit back.

“You did not even give her a chance.”

“Dad…stop. This is my life, I make my decision, I choose who I want to fucking get married to.”

“Son, you know nothi-“

Minho cut the call before he could completely lose his temper.

Right now, all he wanted to do was see Chan, and just be in his presence. Their group had agreed to meet at Changbin’s café in the evening however Minho could not wait that long to see Chan. It was like his car was on autopilot as it navigated through the familiar road, cruising his car along until it came to a complete stop, outside Chan’s apartment. He had not even texted the man that he was going to come here but decided he would be home anyways. The security let him in, and Minho got into the elevator, walking up to Chan’s apartment, and knocking on the door. Minho glared at the blank wood for a moment in frustration before it was pulled open by, to his surprise, Changbin. His eyes went wide as he stared at the man in Chan’s apartment.

“Oh, Chan didn’t tell me you were coming…” Changbin said, stepping back and letting Minho enter. “He is showering right now.” He said as he headed off towards the couch.

Minho followed him, settling in the corner of the coach, staring at Changbin conspicuously.

“Relax Minho, we were just planning to head to the café together.” Changbin said as he felt Minho’s eyes on him.

Just then the door to Chan’s bedroom opened, and the man stepped out, wearing just a pair of shorts, towel drying his hair as droplets of water fell on to his bare chest.

“Binnie, who was that?”

Chan stopped in his tracks, eyes wide like a deer, “Oh Minho?”

The sight of Chan standing there in shorts, exposing his bare chest and thighs, was making Minho feel something in between wanting to ravish the man and uneasiness that Chan felt this comfortable with Changbin to stand in front of him like this.

“Uhm… I just thought I would see you…” He trailed off, embarrassed, thinking that maybe he should have contacted Chan before he coming here.

“Anyways…” Changbin said skittishly, picking up on the atmosphere, “I will take my leave.” He got up from the couch, picking up his wallet, “See you both in a while, please be on time.” He said, as he opened the door.

Minho could feel Chan's eyes hovering over him before he called out to Changbin.

“Wait Changbin.” Chan called out as he walked towards the door. Minho watched as Chan whispered something and Changbin said something back to him before waving goodbye and leaving.

“I will go get dressed.” Chan announced to Minho as he closed the door and strode to his bedroom.

Minho got up from the couch, following the man, feeling some sort of _weird feeling_ tugging at his heart.

“What was he doing here?” Minho asked, leaning against the door frame, his eyes dark as they scanned over Chan’s body as the man looked through his wardrobe for something to wear.

“He is my best friend, Minho, we had lunch.” Chan answered nonchalantly, finally pulling something out.

Minho took a few steps closer to the man, and he could now see the droplets of water shining on his bare back. Chan turned and was startled when he saw how close Minho was standing to him.

“Minho…” He breathed out, “What are _you_ doing here?”

“I just wanted to see you.” Minho whispered, leaning down to kiss the man.

Chan tilted his head to the side avoiding his lips, “You ghosted me these past two days and now you turn up in my apartment, looking for I don’t know what….” He muttered.

“I was occupied with some stuff, Channie.” Minho sighed as he kissed along Chan’s collarbones, sucking up the droplets of water there. He felt Chan shudder and he loved how the man was never able to resist him. He ran his hands along the older man’s sides, nipping at the skin. There were still marks on Chan’s body that were left by him from their previous sexual encounter and Minho found himself hoping that Changbin saw them.

He felt a hand on his chest, and Chan pushed him away gently.

“Not today Minho.” He said, throwing on a sweatshirt and walking to the mirror to look at himself in the reflection.

Minho let out a deep sigh, he knew he should not say anything, but he could not help it, the words came out like vomit.

“Why? Did you do it with _him?”_ He tried to hold back the flood of indignation, but it was ripping through his chest like a rushing wave.

He saw the way Chan stilled in his steps, turning around slowly to stare at him incredulously.

“How many times are we going to do this, Minho?” Chan said, his nostrils flaring, “Could you just trust me for fuck’s sake?”

“Right. Okay.” Minho said, frustrated, walking out the room and heading towards the door. It was a mistake coming here anyways. His hand was on the knob when he felt a hand on his arm, pulling him back.

“Look Minho…” Chan sighed, and Minho could see that he was struggling with words, “This is all new for me… I don’t know why you keep acting this way.” He lets go off Minho’s hand, clutching on to the strands of his hair in frustration, “What do you want me to do, Minho? We aren’t even in a relationship, so why are you like this?”

Minho felt a rush of guilt course through his soul, it was not Chan’s fault at all but somehow, he was the one beating himself up over this. 

He lets out a sigh, “I am sorry, I honestly don’t even know what goes on in my mind, for me to talk to you about it.”

“You know… I am always here to listen.” Chan said, his voice wavering slightly, and it really hurt Minho’s heart. "We can just talk right now, really. I want to know what is happening Minho, maybe I can help you."

“I know…but I don't want to. Not right now.” Minho answered, giving him what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

“Do you just want to head over to the café now then?” Chan asked after a moment, looking elsewhere.

Minho nodded, waiting until Chan collected his belongings, heading off after locking the door.

Chan got into the passenger seat as Minho started his car again. The whole day had been cathartic from the fail date to seeing Changbin in Chan’s apartment and he had ended up making the older man upset. He wished the day could get better as he pulled his car out and drove towards the café.

“So… what did you do today?” Chan questioned him.

“Nothing interesting…” Minho said, changing lanes. He did not think he had to mention his date earlier if he could even call it that.

“Why did you come to my place?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Minho…”

“I just wanted to fuck. Okay? But you didn't want to.” He snapped, and that did shut the older man up, as he blinked at him in startled surprise, offended.

“That’s what I thought.” He sighed, not talking a word after that.

The silence was becoming overbearing in the car and Minho could hear the disappointment in Chan’s tone. For Minho, it is probably better this way. He knew he was taking advantage of Chan’s nice nature; he did not deserve the man at all. His father’s words ringing in his mind, _no one would like him for his personality_ , it was only for his wealth and today's date proved that too. 

Why would someone like Chan fall for him. Why would he like him for anything other than what he could provide? Which was sex for this man.

As they parked and walked towards the café, Minho still felt like he should say something, to cease the awkward atmosphere.

“Chan…”

The older man spun around, stopping him, “Minho, _please,_ just don’t talk for some time okay?” He said stiffly, lifting his chin to meet his gaze. He opened the door and entered, going over to where their friends were already seated. He made Felix move so he would not have to sit next to Minho and ignored the man’s eyes all the while.

He felt Seungmin’s warm hand on his and he turned to look at him.

“Is everything okay?” He asked gently. Chan could see that Minho’s eyes were trained on him and so he just nodded his head.

“He is a really nice person.” Seungmin said, lowering his voice to a whisper, gesturing at Minho who was now in a conversation with Jisung. “His past wasn’t exactly great, and it is not my story to tell, but I feel like more than with us, he actually put in the most efforts with you.” Seungmin finished and Chan could feel the warm flush creeping up his neck.

“It is only for sex, anyways.” Chan whispered, feeling the familiar stabbing pain at his heart as he looked up, catching Minho’s gaze.

“Whatever it is, I don’t think I have seen Minho care about someone this much before.” Seungmin said, sipping on his coffee and hissing as it burnt his tongue.

Chan let out a soft laugh, feeling slightly better.

“And…” Seungmin continued to say, his eyes burning with tears due to pain, “I don’t think I had seen him this happy in a while.”

Chan sighed, not knowing what to say. These past few months, had been a roller coaster ride, with either Minho showing too many feelings at once, or him closing himself off completely and it was getting too confusing for Chan, whose heart just would not stop going haywire whenever the man _looked_ or _touched_ him. He was starting to feel that these feelings were one sided and once again, he kicked himself for being stupid and agreeing to have sex for fun with Minho.

“So, how are things going.” Jisung asked, looking around the table, “I feel like I haven’t seen you all in ages.”

“We literally just met last weekend.” Hyunjin said, rolling his eyes.

“So, like I said,” Jisung continued, ignoring the man, “I have not seen you all in ages, what is up?”

"Well...same old for me." Changbin said, looking up from his phone.

"Wait, didn't you say you were going over to Chan's for lunch? How come you two didn't arrive together?" Jisung asked, furrowing his eyebrows at them.

"Oh..." Changbin trailed off, his eyes glancing over at Minho, "Minho came over so I decided to give these two some space."

“Oh, yeah! How is the sex life going for you two?” Felix asked, grinning at them two. Chan spluttered on air. If Felix had asked this any other day it would have been fine, but instead he chose the worst possible day to ask this. 

“Could we talk about something else?” Chan pleaded.

Just then, Minho shifted in his seat, sitting up straight, “No, we can talk about it now, it is going well.”

Chan could feel himself turn red, sighing and focusing on the cake that was on his plate.

“Well…lately you two looked so happy with each other, so I was wondering, are there any possibilities in the future for a second couple in the group?” Jisung asked, his eyes wide with anticipation.

Chan could feel his guts turn cold as he looked at Minho, who turned to Jisung calmly, “Actually, nope. Chan and I are having too much fun doing what we do. It is the only thing we need from each other anyways. So yeah, no relationships.” He said, his tone standoffish, with no hint of emotions and Chan felt the blood drain from his body. The atmosphere around the table changed, as even Seungmin shifted awkwardly in his chair at the answer.

“Chan, you feel the same, don’t you?” Minho was looking at him, as if he were daring him to say anything different.

“Yes.” Chan choked out finally, trying to keep his voice steady. “It is purely sex.”

Chan was feeling nauseous. He thought their interactions lately had changed whatever dynamics their relationship had. There was no way that Minho had kissed him so gently under the rain if this was purely for sex. How Minho reacted when he played his song to him or when they baked together. How they met up frequently with each other even if it wasn't for sex. _God._ How was he this stupid. Rich people will always be the same.

Chan excused himself from the table, to go to the washroom, closing the door behind him and opening the taps. He splashed some cold water on his face, as he tried to steady his breathing.

Once he felt his heart calm down, he closed the tap, looking up and getting startled when he saw Minho staring at him through the mirror.

Chan did not say anything, wiping his hands on the napkins before walking past Minho to the door.

He felt Minho’s hand around his arm, pulling him to a stop.

“ _Fuck off. I don’t want to talk to you.”_ Chan exhaled angrily.

“Wasn’t it purely for sex?” Minho asked, his eyes trained on him, tightening his hold on his arm.

Chan pulled his arm away harshly, glaring up at the younger man, “I cannot deal with this right now. You think it is so easy for me to be patient with you when you completely shut me off and after what you just told everyone?” Chan’s breaths came out in pants, as he tried to keep his anger at bay.

"Wasn't that the truth?" Minho was staring at him as if he was challenging him to deny it.

"The 'only thing we need from each other'?" Chan huffed in anger. "Seriously? Did the past few months mean only sex to you?" 

“Well, what did you want me to say? That yes, I would love to be in a relationship with you?” Minho ruffled up his hair frustrated, “You wanted me to lie?”

That probably came out harsh, and not all that true.

The question sliced right through Chan’s heart. _A lie._ It was clear then, that Minho had not changed at all. Whatever happened in the past were just exaggerated in Chan’s mind, and he had too many expectations from Minho. If he thought what the younger man had said at the table was hurtful, this was far worse. All this while, Chan believed he had figured out Minho at least to an extent but it was all false.

“Nice to know that you would hate to be in a relationship with me.” Chan barely mumbled, shaking his head and to his dismay he could find the tears welling up. “Can I leave now?” He said, looking up at the younger through watery eyes.

“Chan…” Minho sighed, his eyes softer, looking regretful. “I am sorry, I did not word that correctly.”

Minho took a step closer to him, pushing him gently to lean against the wall.

“Let me go, Minho.” And the tears were now falling, one by one. He felt Minho fingers on his cheeks, rubbing them away, cradling his face.

He was so _gentle_ again , and it was irking him. He could never figure this man out and he was getting tired.

“You know you can’t go on hurting me like this all the time, right?” Chan finally said, holding back a sob, as he pushed Minho away, wiping his tears away with the ends of his sleeves.

“Sort out your emotions and then come to talk to me.” He said, narrowing his eyes at him, opening the door behind him, and walking out.

“Changbin.” Chan called out as he reached them, “I realised I have something important to do at home, could you drop me?”

Changbin could tell immediately something was up from Chan’s teary eyes, and jumped up from his seat, waving goodbye to the others before giving his keys to Jisung, asking him to close up.

Chan could see everyone’s eyes on him, staring at him in concern but he would deal with it later as he followed Changbin outside.

He set foot outside the café when he heard Minho call out, heading towards him.

“I really don’t want to talk to you right now.” Chan sniffed, as Changbin looked at him worriedly.

“I am sorry.” Minho sighed.

“Minho…” Chan mumbled, his voice thick with tears, “I know you did not have the perfect past growing up, but I really can’t do this with you now.” He looked away, rubbing at his eyes wearily, “We could still meet up, it is just sex anyways, this wasn’t your fault at all. I was just being stupid so give me some time.”

“Chan you were not stupid, I- “

“Enough, Minho.” Chan sighed, taking a step backwards, “Just…maybe don’t pretend anymore.”

There was remorse and pain in Minho’s eyes, but Chan was tired.

“Sorry you had to see that.” Chan whispered to Changbin as they walked to the car.

“Seems like there is trouble in paradise.” Changbin muttered, as they got into his car.

“It isn't his fault." Chan sighed, staring down at his fingers, "I am the one fucking everything up, Bin.” He continued, “Minho was clear on his distaste for relationships from the beginning so what he said at the table should have not hurt me at all.”

“You should stop being so hard on yourself, Chan.” Changbin soothed. “Minho was being cold.”

“Yeah and I am too sensitive for this.” Chan mumbled under his breath.

“Do you have feelings for this man, Channie?” Changbin asked, once he parked the car outside his apartment, eyes piercing into Chan’s.

“The thing is… I don’t know.” Chan lied, fiddling with his fingers. “I don’t do relationships too, you know that. This is all new and different to me. But with Minho, things were different.” Chan said, his eyes wistfully clouding over as he thought about their fun outings together, and the times they trusted each other with their own stories. “I don’t know why it affected me that much when Minho said we only want sex, because that is the truth right?”

“You know, your relationship with this man is so complicated and it is going to get worse if one of you don't sit down and try to talk this out.”

“He was really nice until this week, Changbin. He seemed like he really cared about me,” Chan whispered, dread edging into his tone. “Maybe he got bored.”

“I don't think he is bored...You know if someone is jealous of someone, they must have a reason for that?” Changbin noted, his expression one of concern. “And when I saw him today, I felt like he _might_ be jealous of me.”

Chan let out a nervous giggle, “He is _so_ jealous of you.”

“So, did you tell him we slept together and dated for a decade?” Changbin joked, nudging Chan with his elbow.

Chan burst out laughing, his tears drying up as he punched Changbin’s arm, “Nothing like that even happened but maybe I should tell him that one day because sex with jealous Minho is just _so hot.”_

“Argh, Chan TMI.” Changbin groaned.

Chan’s voice then took a serious tone.

“I know something happened to him, but he just doesn’t want to open up to me. Or maybe he always saw me as an outlet for sex and just took pity on me.” Chan finished, eyes flickering to Changbin’s.

“Chan, like I said, don’t you think it is time to talk it out? It is only called friends with benefits when neither of you have any feelings for each other. It is better to sort this out before it becomes too complicated.” Changbin advised, placing a hand softly on Chan’s, “And I am scared you would be the one to get hurt in the process.”

“It will be fine, Binnie.” Chan sighed, opening the door of the car. “I will be fine.” He said as he closed the door and waved at his friend.

They both knew from the look in Chan’s eyes that it was a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you Mina and I couldn't think of any other names except yours I am sorry.  
> Also, yes Minho is very complicated but I hope you won't hate him :(


	14. Chapter 14

The next two days were painful for Chan as Minho ignored him. Then one day he received a text from the man asking if he could see him. Even though Chan was still upset with the man, he agreed to it, giving Minho a chance to maybe explain his behaviour the past few days. Maybe he finally sorted his emotions out. He was disappointed however when Minho turned up on his doorstep, and pushed him against the door, slamming it shut and getting rid of his clothes as he thrusted into him.

And Chan allowed him, the two days without him were like hell anyways and he was okay with any sort of interaction from the younger man even if it meant just sex. Changbin’s words came to his mind, and he knew he should talk it out with Minho before it became worse, but he did not want to ruin this. If telling Minho that he was in love with him meant the possibility of losing him, then he would rather keep it a secret with him.

He watched as the younger man put on his briefs and pants, buttoning up his shirt. “I assume you are leaving?” Chan asked as he sighed.

He observed the falter in Minho's expression as he struggled to act unaffected, “I need to go somewhere.”

“Why did you come here, Minho?” Chan asked.

 _“Because I missed you and I need you.”_ Minho thought to himself but not saying it out loud.

Minho was staring at him, his expression so blank and dark that Chan could not decipher what thoughts were going on in his mind. It was frustrating him.

“Fine.” Chan murmured, before getting back under the cover of his bed. “Just go.”

He saw some sort of emotion flicker in Minho’s eyes before it disappeared and he turned around, to leave.

This continued for the rest of the week, Minho would come over once work was over, and the only time he would show his emotions were when he was fucking him, marking him all over. Just like before, he would just leave once he was done. Chan was beginning to think that he hallucinated all those times Minho had been gentle, had been so caring, had made him laugh. He did not even recognise who this man was. But this was what their deal was supposed to be, _purely sex._ No feelings involved.

Chan kept these events a secret from Changbin, knowing the man would reprimand him for allowing Minho to treat him this way.

When Minho turned to leave on the end of the week, Chan opened his mouth to call out to him, beg him to stay, ask him why he was doing this to him suddenly, and that he missed him, but nothing came out. It was not until he heard the door close, and was certain Minho was gone, that he sank to the floor and allowed the tears to fall.

* * *

It was a warm Spring day, a new start of the week and Chan decided he was not going to let Minho use him again. He was determined to ignore Minho's messages. However, everything went out of the window when he received a text on their group chat.

It was Hyunjin‘s birthday and the man wanted to get drunk. He had texted in their group chat asking if everyone was down to drink which of course they agreed to. It was a change from the usual coffees and cakes in the café and so Hyunjin went ahead and booked a booth for them with the promise of free drinks, in an expensive pub that Chan had never set foot in.

Chan decided to look his best that day, to take some sort of revenge on Minho, putting in more effort on his appearance. He looked through his wardrobe and found the white shirt Minho had given him several months back, the first night they had slept together. He held it in his hands, stroking it slightly with a bittersweet smile. He continued rummaging through and found a black shirt that Felix had gifted to him and he had thrown it into his wardrobe. The reason why he never wore the shirt was because it was outrageous, the back was sheer and cut slightly at the middle, with flowing sleeves. The shirt often gets lifted up with any slight movement and Chan knew Minho would never be able to resist that. Maybe this would impress him and give him some leverage. He coupled it with the tightest pants he owned.

He put on light makeup and eyeliner, and after he was satisfied with the way he looked, he caught a cab and headed over to the pub.

The spring breeze at night was chillier, and Chan's sheer shirt did nothing to provide him with warmth as he waited outside for everyone to arrive. Minho was the first to arrive, and Chan's heart started beating so fast, he was sure the other man could have heard it.

“Hey.” Minho smiled at him. And _god_ he looked so amazing. He was wearing suspenders on top of a red silk shirt and dress pants and Chan forgot how to breathe for a second there. It was not fair how the man always managed to one up him.

“Hi.” Chan breathed, staring at him awkwardly.

“You look…amazing.” Minho said, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Your shirt…is interesting.” He smirked as he leaned down to whisper against Chan’s ears. “Do you want me to fuck you in front of everyone, Chan-ah?”

Chan stepped back, smacking him on his arm. “Minho, shut up.” He complained but he was not able to stop his ears from turning bright pink, a tell-tale sign that he was indeed flustered once again by Minho’s words.

“You look good too.” Chan said. “You should wear suspenders more often.” He said as he eyed him up and down.

The suspenders were honestly making Chan feel some sort of way and he tried to avoid looking straight at the man. To his relief, Changbin soon arrived with Felix and started a conversation with them, distracting Chan from Minho’s ethereal handsomeness, followed by Jisung. Once Hyunjin and Seungmin had finally reached, apologising to them for being late and something about a birthday gift that Hyunjin received from Seungmin that delayed them, they could finally enter the pub and they were led to the booth Hyunjin had booked for them.

The pub was _huge_ , filled with grandeur and their booth itself was so comfy, immaculately decorated from top to bottom and there was a huge round table surrounded by a round leather couch. Chan slide into the seat, moving to the middle sitting next to Felix and Minho took his seat next to him. Chan could feel the heat radiating from Minho and it was difficult for him to function with this close proximity. To order their drinks, they had to just press a buzzer, and someone would come in to take their orders and serve them. It was overwhelming at first, to be out in such a fancy place, but he felt his anxiety fade away as they started drinking.

They were down five drinks when Chan started feeling the buzz of alcohol and he leaned forward, grabbing a glass of rum and coke before snuggling into Minho’s side, feeling extremely comfortable as he breathed in his expensive scent.

Minho chuckled as he slowly wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him in closer, the warmth from the man getting more intense.

He could see the others stare at them suspiciously, but Chan honestly did not care at the moment.

“Someone looks too comfy.” Jisung chuckled, taking a sip from his beer.

“It is just sex.” Minho hummed softly, reaching out for his drink and once again the man somehow managed to make Chan realise what an idiot he was, for falling for him.

Chan could not read Minho’s expression or inflection of his words, as the liquor slowly started seeping into his body and delayed how quick his wit could be. Leaning against Minho, he could feel the heat seep from him through his silk shirt, and he slipped into a comfortable trance as he watched everyone around him talk about various topics.

“Let’s play a game!” The birthday boy spoke up excitedly, clapping his hands together.

“Truth or Dare!”

This brought a cheer of agreement among the others and Chan decided to just go with it.

It was hard to believe they were all grown men with jobs as they started playing but Chan found himself enjoying it. Hyunjin was dared to do a lap dance on Seungmin, which, was really _sexy_ if Chan had to admit. Then Changbin was dared to drink 3 shots one after the other. It was a good thing he had a pretty high alcohol tolerance. Felix chose truth and had to choose between having sex with either Changbin or Jisung and he immediately chose Jisung, making the man blush slightly and Chan was wondering if he should be asking them if something was up.

Soon, it was Chan’s turn and he went for truth.

“Choose one. Lifelong sex with no feelings involved with someone or a relationship which would have its ups and downs that could be solved because you love each other.” Changbin asked, his voice slurring with the alcohol but his eyes were trained on him.

Chan was taken back by surprise with the question and he knew Changbin had his reasons for asking but he could not help the slight annoyance that overtook him.

“You have to say the truth, Chan.” Changbin said, he eyes moving over to see Minho’s reaction before coming back to him.

Chan knew the answer, but he was not willing to take the risk of scaring away the man he was snuggled next to, and so he took a deep breath as he replied, “The first one.”

He felt Minho relax from beside him and Changbin’s dark eyes were penetrating through him, disappointment wavering in them clearly, before he nodded slowly.

"You guys don't understand the beauty of relationships." Seungmin said softly shaking his head.

“Anyways, Minho your turn.”

“I choose dare.”

“I have one. I have one!" Hyunjin hiccuped, waving his hand around. "Kiss the person with the prettiest lips on this table.” 

Whatever happened next was a blur and Chan did not see it coming. Minho did not even stop to think as he tilted Chan’s face around and joined their lips together, tongue darting out to part his lips further as his hands moved to the side of his neck. Suddenly, it seemed like they were alone again, blocking out the rest of the unwanted audience as they continued to kiss which was getting intensified with every second. Chan had blocked out the cheers and whistles their friends were giving as he pulled on Minho’s suspenders bringing him closer to him, melting into the kiss, allowing Minho to explore his mouth. The kiss was hot and wet, with tongues clashing together and as Chan lets out a soft moan, almost inaudible with all the noise surrounding them, Minho snapped back to reality, pulling back from the kiss.

“I told you to kiss as in a peck or something, not a full-blown make-out session.” Hyunjin groaned, covering his eyes. “What did I just watch?”

“Don’t lie, you enjoyed it, you cheered the loudest among us.” Jisung snickered, gently nudging the man with his elbow as he turned a light shade of pink.

“Well...It was hot.” Hyunjin yelped as Seungmin pulled on his ear sharply. “What? It was. But let's move on.”

Chan was starting to feel a little embarrassed as he realised, he just made out with Minho, moaned because of Minho in front of his entire group of friends. He had even lied about his answer because of the man.

He downed another drink, before excusing himself to go to the washroom, his thighs brushing against Minho’s knees as he moved past him to get out. He dropped his napkin and purposely bent down in front of Minho, knowing very well that his shirt would ride up, and picked it up. He felt a bit dizzy, wobbling around as he held on to the back of the couch for some balance.

“Chan, do you need help?” Changbin called out.

Chan shook his head and started heading towards the restroom. It was empty when he went inside, and the music was dimmed here, providing Chan the silence he needed to sort his mind that was going in circles thanks to the alcohol and _Minho._

He heard the music become loud as the door opened and dimming again.

Chan turned around to see Minho standing there, staring at him with dark, intense eyes.

“Whatchu doin here?” Chan managed to ask out, wincing as he realised how drunk he actually sounded.

“I think you should stop drinking.”

“And I think you should stop pretending to care. Basically, continue doing what you were doing the past week.” Chan whispered before he could stop himself. His tone dripped of revulsion and desolation like the alcohol on his tongue.

Minho strode towards him, closing the gap between them and Chan could see how beautiful the man was.

“I don’t know what you do to me, but I wanted to take you there, in front of everyone when you pretended to pick up something you dropped.” Minho cocked his head at him, his eyes fixated on him.

Chan felt himself being slowly backed up against the wall, Minho coming closer.

“Why didn’t you then? It is just sex isn’t it.” Chan shot back, feeling the anger in the pits of his stomach creeping up again.

Minho’s eyes widened slowly, “Aren’t we on the same page here? Didn’t you just say you would rather just have sex.”

Chan would blame the alcohol mostly for making him feel bold, maybe he should not have had the last drink, but he rolled his eyes at Minho.

“You are a coward.”

“Excuse me?” Minho blurted out, clearly surprised.

“You are too scared to admit what you feel. Even after all we did these past _eight_ months, you think this is just sex?”

Chan watched as emotions which were a mixture of sadness and pain clouded Minho’s eyes, and he knew he should stop.

“Chan, stop it.” Minho said tensing up.

“Tell me then…all those times you were so nice, so kind, all those times we opened up to each other. Tell me… did you not feel _anything_?” Chan challenged as he raised up an eyebrow at him.

“I said stop it Chan.” Minho warned taking another step towards him.

Minho was so close to him now, and Chan grabbed onto the strap of his suspender to not fall over.

Chan breathed in shakily, the alcohol letting the words flow out, “Why are you suddenly being so cold to me? Did you finally realise something? Or are you bored of me? Was I always a plaything for you? Or do you realise I am more than that?”

Minho froze for a second before whispering, “Chan, _shut_ up.”

“I thought I was a coward, but _you_ are the biggest coward.” Chan spat, glaring at the younger man.

There was a flicker of anger and fear in Minho’s eyes before he pulled Chan closer for a kiss, biting hard on his bottom lip and inserting his tongue into his mouth, tasting Chan once again, his flavour mixed with all the different kinds of alcohol he had drunk.

Chan whined into the kiss, knowing anyone could walk in and see them now but he did not care, as he felt the demanding, wet warmth of Minho’s tongue in his mouth.

“I think the only way to shut you up is to fuck you right now huh.” Minho breathed against his ear before he pushed him into a cubicle, slamming him against the door and grabbing his face.

Chan knew this was wrong, that they should talk things out instead of letting it accumulate, instead of continuously hurting each other like this, he knew they had to put a plaster on the crack before it broke completely but all thoughts be damned once Minho smothered his lips against Chan’s while simultaneously locking the door, grabbing his wrists, and pinning them against the door as Minho resumed kissing the older man. It was messy and sloppy, but Chan wanted more. He missed the man and it was fucked up because Minho had treated him like shit the past week, but he could not help being drawn into him. Chan pulled his hands away from Minho’s hold, grabbing on to the strap of his suspenders, pulling them back and letting them snap on his chest with a satisfying noise. Minho yelped in pain, breaking away from the older man.

“That hurts.”

“Good.” Chan said, as he pulled Minho closer with his suspenders, letting go of it again.

Minho groaned, in pain or pleasure he did not know as he turned Chan around, pulling his pants down to his heels along with his boxers. Chan could feel Minho’s eyes burning through his shirt, “Do you have any idea how sinful you look with this shirt.” Minho growled as he ran his hand over Chan’s back, goosebumps erupting all over the skin as his hand moved lower. “The way your skin keeps getting flashed with any movement… you want all my attention to yourself, don’t you?”

Chan muffled a yelp as he felt a finger prodding in, pressing onto his prostate and started whimpering when he felt two other fingers being inserted in. He started lewdly pressing back against his finger, a thrill shooting through his entire body as he realised, they were at a freaking public place.

“What if someone comes in.” Chan whined as Minho removed his fingers.

“Let them hear you then.” Minho growled as he unbuckled his suspenders from his pants, before removing them. "I know you would enjoy it more if someone walked in, watching you take my cock so nicely." Chan could feel Minho’s shaft against his behind, and he finally slide in and Chan sank his teeth into his lips, trying to stay quiet.

Chan dragged his nails along the material of the door, loving the feeling of Minho filling him up. The younger man was pounding into him hard, his hands gripping onto his waist. With every thrust, Minho slammed Chan against the door harder, going in deeper, the ecstasy swelling tenfold. Minho then pulled out, spinning Chan around, yanking his thigh up and wrapping it around him before inserting his dick into him again. Chan wound his arms around Minho’s neck, clinging onto him for his dear life, not wanting to let him go, bringing their lips together.

And Minho’s thrusts became _gentle_ _,_ the roughness from earlier gone as he continued thrusting into him, knowing exactly where to hit. The music around them has faded, replaced by the sound of skin on skin and moans.

“Minho…” Chan whined as he felt the orgasm nearing him, one of his hand moving up to grip his copper hair tight while the other moved to unbutton his silk shirt, his fingers moving all over his toned abs, feeling his skin.

Minho persisted in his pounding and his hand moved to stroke Chan’s member as the older man finally released into his hand, burying his mouth into Minho’s neck, and muffling his lips, convulsing in Minho’s arms. As his walls clenched on Minho’s member, he felt the younger release inside of him, holding him tightly.

“Let me get some wet tissues for you.” Minho sighed after a while, letting go of Chan as he leaned back against the wall feebly. The younger man grabbed some tissues, wiping himself up and cleaning his hands before pulling his pants back on, the suspenders hanging loosely on his shoulders.

Minho made Chan sit on the closed toilet seat as he unlocked the door and went out.

This was so not Chan. He did not go around having sex in public places but with Minho, his inhibitions and thoughts went out of the window. He heard the taps running and then Minho was back, holding a couple of tissues in his hand.

Chan watched him as Minho helped him clean himself up, he was feeling too buzzed to do any of this on his own and he allowed himself to be pulled up as Minho helped to dress him up again.

“Do we look okay?” Chan asked as Minho unlocked the door again.

“Pardon?”

“Do we look like we just had sex?” Chan asked again as Minho helped him wash his hands thoroughly with soap.

Minho chuckled, “Let’s hope the boys were too drunk to notice we have been missing for some time now.”

“Here…wait.” Minho said as he pulled out an extremely tiny bottle and sprayed some on Chan before spraying on himself.

“Ooooh once again someone was prepared. Did you think I was going to let you fuck me or were you going to trap someone else?” Chan teased even though the smile did not reach his eyes.

Minho sighed shaking his head, “Chan…”

Giggling softly, Chan tried to buckle Minho’s suspenders back into his pants, failing miserably as the younger man watched in amusement.

Chan finally gave up and watched the man buckle them up himself and he held on to them as Minho began to lead him away, a strong hand around his waist, from the washroom back into the booth.

Once they reached their friends, Chan saw that they were all still in the midst of the game. They slide into their seats and Chan immediately reached out for another drink.

“I think you have had enough.” Minho said as he snatched the drink away from him.

“Minho.” Chan breathed, staring at the younger through lidded eyes. “Give it back.”

“You clearly had enough.” Minho said as he sat it on the table, a firm hand on Chan’s shoulder to stop him from reaching out and taking it.

Chan did not care. “I told you to stop acting like you care, didn’t I?” He said sharply, his lips pressed into a straight line.

Chan wanted that drink and he shrugged off Minho’s hand harshly before taking the drink and downing it.

“Minho is right, you should stop.” Changbin said from across the table, making Chan roll his eyes.

“Guys just mind your own business. I am perfectly fine.” Chan mumbled, almost toppling his glass over.

Thank god just then the waitress walked in carrying a huge cake that they all had pitched in to order as a surprise for Hyunjin.

They immediately started singing happy birthday and Hyunjin was jubilant with joy. It was safe to say neither of them were actually able to taste the cake, but still managed to enjoy it.

They then requested a speech from the birthday boy and Hyunjin stood up, clinking his glass with a fork as he asked everyone to focus their attention on him.

“I waited so long, to be in a big group of friends.” Hyunjin said, swaying on his feet. “And I want to thank each and every one of you for turning up here, for coming into my life. I believe things happened for a reason and it might have been fate that brought Minho and Chan and fate that brought them together during the party but I would forever be grateful as I found you all through that.” Hyunjin smiled at them all. “I love you guys.” He finished, his voice wavering and Chan felt his heart jump out.

Chan did not want to ruin the friendship with his stupid emotions, his stupid feelings. What they all had now was beautiful, not something to be wrecked over thanks to someone being stupid enough to catch feelings and he felt the familiar misery seeping into his bones.

Every one of them stood up to give Hyunjin a group hug, patting him and wishing him a happy birthday again. Seungmin grabbed his boyfriend, giving him a kiss before letting him sit down again.

Chan somehow managed to smuggle in more drinks into his system when he thought no one was looking.

“Chan…I thought you were not supposed to drink?” Felix asked, looking at him in concern.

“I am perfectly fine, Lixie.”

Before Felix could reply to that, Seungmin started singing out loud and they all joined in. Soon, they were all shit drunk and were singing random songs and dancing around. Jisung had them all in fits of laughter with his antics and Felix, who had turned a dark shade of pink, was speaking about the time he burnt his cake and had cried a whole day over it. Changbin spoke about the time he thought Hyunjin was going to fire him because he played a prank on him. Chan felt…free. He loved letting go of himself like this, his brain no longer overthinking every damn thing thanks to the alcohol in his system.

They were all slumped over each other in the couch, talking about the most random things and they finally decided to call it a night when it was around 4 am in the morning.

Chan got up from the couch, his head was starting to hurt, and he wobbled around unsteadily. Minho got up quickly, catching the stumbling, intoxicated man. He put his arm around the older man’s waist, guiding him towards the exit.

Chan did not want his help and he intentionally forced his body forward to loosen Minho’s hold on him. It worked and Chan was happy as he was free, away from Minho, however the happiness was short lasting as he tripped over his own feet and felt himself hit the ground with a thud. He pressed his cheek on the cold floor and could feel his consciousness fading in and out as he groaned. Minho was already at his side again, hoisting him up with one arm around his middle and Chan could feel the heat from his arm on his exposed waist from where his shirt had ridden up.

“Why are you treating me like I am diseased these days.” Chan muttered, his breath faltering. “I am still your friend, right?”

Minho could feel like heart break slowly as he felt the despair in Chan’s voice. “Yes, of course you are, Chan.”

“I can’t lose you, Minho.” Chan said, his voice a tiny whisper but Minho heard it.

“Where is Changbin?” Chan murmured when he did not get an answer and felt Minho’s hold tighten around him.

“He is in the front.” Minho said, his voice devoid of emotions.

“Need to tell him.” Chan tried to break free from his arms again.

“You are so feisty. Would you stay still?” Minho complained as he tried to hold him in his arms.

“I am so stupid. I am so weak.” Chan mumbled in his drunken stupor.

“No, you are not.” Minho whispered as they finally reached their group of friends, where they were all waiting for their cabs. He was still leaning into Minho, trying to stay alert in his arms as Minho spoke to someone beside him.

_Changbin._

He heard Minho tell his friend that he was going to take him home but Changbin was telling him that it would not be a good idea to deal with a drunk Chan.

And then Minho was speaking some more, his voice a little raised, and he tried telling them that he could manage to get home by himself alright, but the words were not coming out. He was trying to make sense of the conversation, but the words were drifting in and out of his mind.

“I can take care of him.”

“I am scared he might say stuff or do something, trust me on this, please.”

He felt Minho sigh beside him before finally agreeing.

His head was resting comfortably against Minho’s shoulder and Chan could not help but think how this could have been perfect if the person had fallen in love with him too.

A cab then pulled up and Changbin got in first as Minho gently tried to guide Chan into the car. As Chan sat in the cab nestling up to his best friend, he held on to what he thought was Changbin’s hand, “I lied Changbin.”

“Chan…” He did not know who called his name, though the voice was so familiar, and felt the hand being pulled away but he held on and continued to say, even though there were voices in his head, telling him to shut up.

“I don’t want meaningless sex, I don’t want to do it anymore. I think I caught the feelings. I am an idiot.” He slurred, finally letting go of the hand and he heard the door shut shortly after, before welcoming the unconsciousness wash over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you so much for the comments, I really enjoyed reading everything <333  
> Minho's character was very complex for me to write so hopefully it was alright and yeah at this point Chan acknowledged he has feelings for Minho, who, is still preferring to stay in denial sighs....  
> Thank you so much for reading, I love you all <3  
> P.S. Chan in that black shirt was too sinful to not write about.  
> P.P.S Changbin best friends goals


	15. Chapter 15

Chan jolted awake from the bed, the world spinning for a moment. He knew this was not his bed nor Minho’s and his heart started racing until his eyes darted around the room, taking in the details, and realising his best friend took him home, thankfully.

His mind felt like there was cotton stuffed in it and he felt his stomach heaving as he hurried to the washroom, throwing up into the toilet until he started dry heaving. He felt someone enter the bathroom, gently pushing his bangs back.

“You don’t have to see this.” Chan groaned as he stood up slowly, flushing the toilet.

Changbin chuckled, “Please what are friends for.”

Chan rinsed his mouth in the sink, taking the new toothbrush Changbin gave him and brushed his teeth, cleaning his face and stared at his reflection in the mirror.

He looked like shit.

“Do you even remember what happened last night?” Changbin asked him, leaning against the doorway.

Chan could only remember flashes of memories, him downing drinks after drinks, making out with Minho, going to the washroom and flushing red as he realised, they had sex in the cubicle. After that the memories were fuzzy, he remembered Minho helping him get out of the pub, but that was all.

“Not really.” Chan shrugged, wincing as his head throbbed.

"You both were all over each other throughout the party." Changbin said, looking at him and observing his body language.

"It was the alcohol." Chan groaned, feeling like throwing up again. He was _never_ going to drink again.

"Chan, what is going on between you two? Did you talk to him?" 

Chan lowered his gaze, not wanting to tell Changbin that the past two weeks had made their relationship tumble, had become a mess where one person developed feelings while the other seemed like he just did not care.

“I thought Minho would have taken me home.” Chan said after a while, ignoring Changbin's question.

“Well… he really wanted to. He was not happy, but I insisted on it, you just wouldn’t stop mumbling.”

Chan gasped in horror, staring at Changbin through the mirror, “Did I say anything to him?”

Changbin did not answer for a while, hesitating nervously as he crossed his arms in front of him, “You kind of held on to his hand and said you lied about your answer, that you can’t do meaningless sex anymore.”

Chan groaned as he turned, “What else did I say?”

Changbin sighed as he contemplated whether he should tell Chan or not, “You said you caught feelings.”

"Why didn't you stop me?" Chan asked, feeling the blood drain from his body as he moved towards the door, pushing Changbin aside as he went to grab his phone.

"I tried! But you just would't stop mumbling." Changbin argued, turning and following Chan.

“What are you doing?” Changbin asked him as Chan picked up his phone angrily.

“I am going to tell him I was joking, and I was not serious, and sex is the only thing I want. I was drunk and I didn't know what I was saying.”

“Chan…that is a lie.”

“Fuck you, Bin, it is not.” Chan shouted, his voice panicky as he hurriedly unlocked his phone, and scrolled until he reached Minho’s contact.

He felt a strong hand on his and his phone was grabbed away.

“Chan you have to stop this.” Changbin slowly spoke, trying to understand what was happening to his best friend.

“You don’t know him Binnie, I scared him away.” Chan whispered, trying to snatch his phone back.

“Chan…I am going to ask you this once more, do you like him?” Changbin asked gently, holding onto his hand.

“I fucking don’t!” Chan’s voice broke and he could not help the tears that came to his eyes and Changbin pulled him into a hug, holding him tight.

“I need him.” Chan whispered; his voice broken, the tears streaking his face. “I am scared by the thought of how badly I actually need him.” He was sobbing right now at the thought that Minho would never contact him again, “I am so sorry, Binnie, I am a mess.” He stuttered out a messy apology.

“Chan.” His best friend finally spoke, pulling away from the hug but holding onto his shoulders firmly and looking into his teary eyes, “ _Please,_ listen to me.”

“You should not do this to yourself anymore. I told you to talk out with him, but you clearly did not and you are getting hurt, _you are allowing yourself to get hurt._ I am watching my best friend, hurt himself over and over again and I don't even know how to help him, I can’t let you do this while I sit and watch.” Chan’s eyes turned downcast and Changbin felt his heart break. “Please, stop letting him do whatever he wants to you. It was time he knew you had feelings for him Channie,” Changbin finished, exhaling slowly.

“I don’t have feelings for him. I don’t do feelings.” Chan mumbled weakly, muffling back the sobs but he knew Changbin could tell he was lying.

“It is going to be okay.” Changbin reassured him, hugging him again, tightly. He gave his phone to him, “I trust that you would listen to me and would not text him all that.”

“I won’t.” Chan sighed, deciding that Changbin was right. He _was_ allowing himself to get hurt.

Like Chan predicted, Minho did not text at all for a whole week. Not a single message nor a sound from him. Chan could not help but check his phone every time a notification pinged, to check if it was from the younger man but nothing. He missed him, greatly so but he kept his promise to Changbin. There were times his fingers typed out a message, but he always ended up deleting them last minute.

A week passed by and there was suddenly a message from Minho in the group chat.

 _Minho: Hey there is a work event next Saturday that I was supposed to attend, do you all want to join?_ Chan did not want to go. Minho probably did not want him there otherwise he would have texted him, separately.

Just then his phone pinged again.

_Minho: Please come to the party._

Minho had texted him privately. It was scary how it seemed like the younger man could always read his thoughts. Chan thought about it for a while, it was nothing special as Minho was calling the entire group. It was not going to do them any harm anyways.

_Chan: Okay._

Chan lowered his head, feeling the suppressed cries wrecking his lungs.

_I miss you. I need you. I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short update compared to the previous chapters hehe but please don't hate Minho! <3


	16. Chapter 16

The day of the party drew closer and surprisingly Minho had texted him again saying that he would pick him up. Chan was waiting downstairs and watched as Minho’s car turned around the corner and pulled up to the side.

Chan felt awkward, he did not know what to tell the man, especially since Minho _knew_ now that he had ‘caught feelings’, groaning inwardly at drunk Chan’s choice of words. He threw a hesitant smile at the man before sliding into the passenger seat, buckling up before Minho was driving again.

“Thanks for coming.” Minho said, clearing his throat loudly and keeping his eyes fixated on the road.

“You are welcome.” Chan mumbled, wondering if he should mention the drunk night at all.

The rest of the ride went in silence and Chan wondered if Minho had a superpower of locking things that he did not want to hear in a box and burying it deep inside. He tried to observe Minho from his peripheral vision, the man was wearing a black silk shirt, that made his red hair stand out more, his fingers adjourned with rings and an expensive watch on his wrist. He looked really good, as usual, always calm and collected while Chan seemed to be the one whose mind was always whirring with thoughts. However Chan could tell there was something on Minho's mind by the way his shoulders were tensed and his grip on the steering wheel was tighter.

Soon, they arrived at the hotel where the party was held and Minho parked his car, getting out with Chan following suit.

Minho continued to stay quiet as they entered inside, Chan exhaling a sigh of relief when he saw their friends were already there. They already had drinks in their hands and Minho headed over to a waiter, bringing him a drink over too.

“Thanks.” Chan said as he sipped his glass of wine. Minho threw him a smile in acknowledgement before going over to a group of people that looked important, starting a conversation with them.

“So, how are things going on with Minho?” Changbin asked, popping up beside him.

“Horrible.” Chan groaned, “He ignored me the whole week, and I didn’t contact him like you said, and he suddenly said he would be picking me up for the party but remained silent throughout the ride.” He murmured sadly, staring at the man as he laughed at something someone said.

“Ah Chan…” Changbin sighed, “I wish I could knock some sense into both of you.”

Chan smiled, a tired smile, “I think I should talk to him today, sort out this mess.”

“It is about time.” Changbin said sadly.

Changbin looked up and nudged Chan, “He is heading over, I will be over by the food section if you need me.” He whispered before strolling away.

Jisung and Felix were nowhere to be found, probably eating somewhere, or exploring the place and Seungmin and Hyunjin were a few feet away, deeply engrossed in a conversation and were in their own sweet world.

“This seems like a fun party.” Chan whispered to Minho as he reached him. Minho was holding another drink now, that appeared to be whiskey and was fidgeting.

“I know it is boring.”

“No, it is not, really, I have just never been to a party like this.”

Minho sighed, downing his drink before reaching out to one of the servers for another drink.

“It is not that great.” He admitted, “But my dad forces me to go to parties like these and suck up to the big shots.”

“It might not be all that bad.” Chan tried to reassure but Minho just hummed, staying quiet.

Chan tried to search for another topic to talk about, he could feel Minho distancing himself away from him and it was starting to concern him. Chan looked around the venue, it definitely was huge and there were people who looked like millionaires in here and Chan felt out of place. He then saw a familiar face amidst the crowd, and excitement crept in to his being when he recognised who it was.

“Hey isn’t that Younghyun? From the company DAY6?”

Minho looked over at where Chan was pointing and nodded in reply.

“Why did you ask?”

“Oh!” There was a look of delight in Chan’s eyes and it stirred up something uneasy from the pits of Minho’s stomach.

“My dream is to get into his company, I didn’t know he would be here!”

Chan started bouncing on his feet, “Maybe I should go and talk to him! Do you know him Minho? Could you introduce us?”

Minho could not help the sudden flash of memories of what his father had said about people and how they would always use him till the end. How no one would ever love him unless they need something.

Just then he saw Younghyun turn around, recognising Minho and nodding his head in his direction, giving Chan a little wave that he returned back with enthusiasm.

Chan spun around to face Minho, eyes crinkling up with happiness. However, his smile dropped down slightly as he saw Minho’s cold expression.

“Minho?” He reached out softly, placing a hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”

Minho removed his arm harshly, from Chan’s hold, and did not say a word.

Chan was confused. It was not fair for Minho to be acting like this when he was the one who had been upsetting him the whole week. It was not fair for Minho to be this way when he was the one who had been treating him horribly for the past month.

He decided to ignore the weird energy emitting from Minho, trying to steer into a different topic, the one that he knew Minho loved.

“Okay, do you just want to leave and go to my place?”

“Why don’t you go and ask Younghyun to fuck you tonight, as you looked like you clearly wanted it.”

These words rooted Chan to the spot, and he could not believe his ears. He did not understand why Minho was so worked up over it when he was only trying to find a way to accomplish something he had been dreaming about.

“What the fuck?” Chan’s mouth dropped open as he blinked furiously.

“You are joking right?”

However, Minho did not look like he was joking.

“I...” Chan stammered, trying to get his words together, “I have been struggling so much with a job I never liked, Minho, you out of everyone, knew that.” Chan could feel his breathing get raspy and he tried to calm himself down. “I just thought I could get an opportunity, finally.”

“You could just get fucked by him and get a straight pass into the company.” Minho’s voice was so harsh, voice devoid of the warmth and tease it usually held.

Chan could feel the back of his neck prickling with frustration again and shook his head in disbelief.

“You don’t have the right to talk to me this way, Minho.” He said, shifting his weight on his feet. “You have been so cold to me these past few weeks and you don’t have the right to treat me like this. This could have made me so happy.”

“ _This_ could have made you happy. So, my company and presence on its own haven’t made you happy?”

“You know that was not what I meant.” He could feel the heat of his angry blush, high on his cheekbones as he tried to hold back the flood of indignation.

“No, I don’t know what you mean, Chan.”

“Minho.” Chan said, nostrils flaring. “You are being an asshole right now.”

Their voices were rising, and he could see Hyunjin and Seungmin who were a couple of feet away, look over at their direction in concern.

“Okay just forget it.” Minho glowered up at him, finishing his drink.

“No, you better tell me what the fuck happened to you.” Chan said angrily. “I am getting tired of the way you are treating me.”

He saw Minho adjust his collar, his eyes darting everywhere nervously. Chan knew something was bothering the man, for quite some time now and waited patiently for him to say it.

“Minho say it. Otherwise, I am leaving.” Chan demanded, his lips pursued.

Minho sighed, inhaling in a sharp breath as his eyes trained on his nails, not knowing where to start.

“It started when my dad tried to set me up with someone, a woman, to get married to. I met her the day I came over to your apartment without telling you.” He whispered, clenching his fists and the words were like a gunshot straight to Chan’s heart. “I fought with him and he said some stuff to me and yeah, it just reminded me that love doesn't exist.” He said, shrugging his shoulders casually.

“Wait what? You got to be fucking kidding me.” He said, bewildered. “You went on a date? You are always so jealous when I interact with someone and you went on a date? What did you tell her?” He gritted out through his teeth.

“I told her I was not interested.” Minho said, still looking everywhere but at him, his anger dissipated into regret.

“Chan-ah.” Minho said, after a few minutes of matching, stiff silence. “I am sorry.” He was reaching out to hold his hand and Chan snapped out of his trance.

“Have you been sleeping with others?” Chan asked. “Is that why you just forgot I existed?”

“Chan, no, of course not. It is complicated. It wasn’t even a date; I went there to tell her I wasn’t interested.”

“Of course, you were not interested. Because ‘love does not exist’ correct? And why are you sorry? I am not your boyfriend.” Chan managed to mutter steely.

"Chan-" Minho was getting angry right now but Chan did not care.

"Why have you been treating me so badly then? I don't understand you Minho." 

"I am treating you badly?" Minho scoffed, "I don't understand how else you want me to treat you? You do remember we are just friends who fuck right?" He said, crossing his arms in front of him, glaring at the older man.

Chan’s expression transitioned from anger to confusion to sorrow and at that precise moment, he grasped, how hurtful a heartbreak could be. Before he could hear any more from the man before him, he turned and walked away.

Chan felt himself falling apart, reaching his breaking point, he had tried for so long to pretend that he was fine. He had too much of an ego to even admit to his friends that he might have fallen for the man that he had tried so hard to avoid in the beginning. He dug his own grave and now he had to repent.

He quickly went in search of Changbin, he needed a pillar, someone to lean on and found the man standing by an empty table, checking his phone. Changbin _knew_ this was going to happen. He had fallen in love with someone who only saw him as a way to get his sexual frustrations out, someone who would rather produce rich heirs for the company, someone who kept hurting him.

“Changbin…” Chan’s voice was so quiet, almost a tiny whisper in the air.

“You were right, Binnie…”

Chan at this point was trembling, tremors running through his body as he struggled to breath. Changbin immediately dropped his phone back into his pocket, rushing to his side.

“Chan, breath with me, c'mon.”

It was so _hard,_ he heard Changbin trying to help him through his breathing, his voice like a lighthouse guiding him back to shore. He gasped quietly, the ache in his chest lessening as his lungs flood with the oxygen. His fists clutched onto Changbin’s shirt tightly as he tried to return his breathing to a normal pace.

He was still shivering, and Changbin pulled him in closer to a hug, trying to pour warmth into the hug as he stroked Chan’s back, whispering words of comfort and reassurance into his ear.

“Hey…what happened? Channie...It is going to be okay.”

“No Bin, it is not.” Chan could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and falling, staining Changbin’s shirt, but he was not able to stop it.

“I love him.”

He could feel Changbin tense around him, but he quickly composed himself, hugging him tighter. Chan knew Changbin already knew this fact, but he had never admitted it openly before.

“He never loved me and will never do so.” Chan sobbed, clutching onto Changbin tightly. “How was I so _stupid.”_

Changbin pulled away from the hug, placing a hand gently on Chan’s chin tilting it upwards, “Channie, you weren’t stupid, you fell in love, that’s all.”

“Everything hurts Binnie…” Chan whimpered.

“Darkness has to pass too, you know that right Channie… it is really going to be okay, trust me.” Changbin emphasized.

"I thought he could be the..." Chan faltered, feeling the tears fall freely down his face.

 _The_ _one._

"Chan... I am so sorry, I shouldn't have left you alone." Changbin muttered, wiping away his friend's tears gently.

"No...you were right. I need to talk to him. I need to end this." Chan said, shaking his head slowly.

“Chan.” It was _Minho_ again, he was here, watching him have a breakdown caused by him. “We need to talk.”

“You already did enough.” Changbin gritted, clenching his fists, “Just go away.”

“Changbin this is between Chan and me,” Minho said, narrowing his eyes, gesturing at them limply, “I would appreciate you not coming into our business.”

Chan could feel Changbin tensing up to fight, and he placed a hand on his shoulder, restraining him.

"Fucking let me go Chan, let me punch him just once." 

“Changbin, it is okay.” Chan said, his voice wavering. “I will be fine.”

“Channie…” Changbin turned to look at him, his eyes tired and sad, “You keep getting hurt...”

“I need to finish things off with him properly, he at least deserves that.” Chan sighed in defeat.

"Chan... I can't just leave you with him alone again." Changbin said, his voice insistent.

Chan glanced over at Minho who standing there, fuming at them and he could see there were people who were looking over at them curiously. The last thing Chan wanted was a fight in front of an audience and he sighed, "Please trust me Binnie, I will be okay."

Changbin was silent for some time, still thinking about it, before he let out a sigh, pressing Chan’s shoulder gently before letting it go.

“Please call me.” He requested Chan gently before shooting a glare at Minho, “You better watch out, bitch.”

Chan nodded, walking towards Minho, not bothering to spare him a glance and waited for the man to say something.

“Let’s go home and talk.” The man said, the muscle in his jaw twitching, looking really angry about something.

The car ride back home was quiet, silence surrounding them in discomfort. Chan had seen the look of sorrow in Minho’s eyes once he noticed the tear tracks along Chan’s cheeks, and the red tinge surrounding his eyes, quickly composing himself and going back to his cold expression. Seungmin and Hyunjin had asked them if everything was okay before they left, and Chan was unable to answer.

 _“It is going to be fine.”_ Minho had said, but Chan did not believe it. This was going to end now.

He followed Minho, back into his apartment and the man threw his wallet and his phone down on to the couch, and started pacing around the room, frantically and muttering to himself.

Finally, Minho looked ahead, his gaze meeting Chan’s, “How did things end up this badly.” He whispered and something prickled at Chan's heart when he saw the sorrow and agitation in Minho's eyes.

“It is all your fault.” Chan’s voice was hushed but Minho heard it.

“I am sorry.” He apologised. "I don't know why I am doing this." He mumbled.

“I did not mean what I said about Younghyun and you.”

“You know that was not the only problem.” Chan replied. “All I wanted was to talk to him, to get an opportunity and you were acting like I would suck his dick to get an audition. Just because you see me as an outlet for sex, doesn’t mean everyone else in this fucking world does.” Chan let out a shaky breath as he continued barrelling on. “And now you throw this bomb on me, that you actually have a potential marriage with someone and you had a fucking date behind my back. How am I supposed to react, Minho?”

“Look, my dad does this all the time, I could easily get out of it.” Minho answered. "I am _not_ going to marry her."

“At this point, this is more than that. It is about you constantly feeling jealous, but then you go ahead and do whatever you like. It is about you being so extremely confusing and being persistent on hurting me in the process.” Chan ran his fingers through his dark strands in anger before continuing, "It is about you not opening up to me. It is about you not validating my feelings, I know you heard what I said that day I was drunk, but you want to hear only what you like to hear. You chose to _ignore_ me instead of coming and talking to me. How could you do that?"

Chan saw the man stare at him angrily before speaking.

“I am _not_ jealous. It is just that every time I see Changbin and you alone, it is somewhat intimate. You aren’t like this with the other two.” Minho said, his voice rising.

“Changbin is my _best friend_.” Chan grinded his teeth together, so hard it was hurting. “And he was helping me. Get through a breakdown. Caused by you.” He punctuated each sentence with anger, pointing his finger at Minho, making the man flinch.

“I have friends too, but I don’t act like I am in love with them or something, all the time I am with them!” Minho yelled at him, his jaw clenched.

“Why do you care so much Minho?” Chan finally asked, his voice holding a tremor. He did not know whether he was ready to hear the answer, whether there was an answer.

Minho was silent, staring at him dumbfounded.

“We are just friends who fuck, right? You said so yourself, your own words, so why do you care so much?” He asked hotly. Chan had been patient for way too long, but he could feel his anger rising up.

“Why do you get so worked up over Changbin and me? We had been friends since forever, what is so wrong with it?”

Minho runs his hands through his hair, clutching at the strands in frustration.

“Because, it is not like you would hesitate to sleep with a friend.”

Chan would be lying if he said that did not hurt him. Hearing those words, sent cold waves washing over him, rooting him to the floor. It was so deadly quiet in the room after Minho said that sentence, and Chan could barely hear his own voice.

“Fuck you.' Chan spat venomously, tears welling up in his eyes. “I find it funny how you are the one having trust issues with me when I should be the one having them, yet I am somehow always blindly trusting you.” He scoffed. "You were not even a friend when I came to you asking for sex, we knew each other for barely two weeks.” Chan stated, a quiver in his voice, feeling satisfied when he saw Minho wince, taking a step back.

"Don't you think it was easier to come to you for sex instead of finding a random stranger in a club?" Chan lied through his teeth. Minho's face dropped and Chan was regretting it but anger really did make you say things you would regret later. “I fucking don't belong to you and you, sure as hell, definitely don't own me.”

Chan shoved himself away from the wall he was leaning on, moving past Minho to the door.

“We are done, just leave me alone.”

Minho reached out, grabbing Chan by his wrist, yanking him back, towards him. He slammed Chan against the wall, pinning him by placing his hands on either side of him.

“Don't you dare leave like this,” Minho was looking at him with so much intensity and darkness clouding his eyes and the truth was that Chan did not want to end it, they had hurt each other tonight, more than the usual however Minho was an addiction, and he could not let go.

“I am not yours, Minho.” Chan repeated. “I can date whoever I want, kiss whoever I want and fuck whoever I want.”

"Our deal…” Chan choked, anger boiling in him, “Our deal was that we shouldn’t have feelings for each other, but there was nothing about not seeing someone else.”

“Even if I let Changbin or even Younghyun fuck me, it's none of your business. Why are you always so jealous? Are you in lov-“

The rest of the argument was cut off as Minho slammed their lips together, biting on Chan's bottom lip so hard, the metallic taste of blood exploded along his tongue. Chan's hands moved to the front of Minho’s shirt, his first instinct was to push him away but as Minho’s kisses grew rougher, more _desperate,_ Chan allowed himself to pull the man closer.

Not parting from each other, Chan felt himself being seized roughly by the shoulders, getting pushed towards the bedroom. He knew he should not be doing this, especially when he knew that with every encounter, his feelings for the man kept growing, widening the hole in his heart.

Chan backed up aimlessly, gasping when he was pushed up against a dresser, Minho’s hands wandering all over his body. Chan yelped as he felt his feet leave the ground, wrapping them around Minho, as the man lifted him off and threw him to the bed, before climbing on top of him.

Chan moaned loudly when Minho’s teeth sunk into the sensitive skin of his neck, biting, and licking at it. The said man moved down his body, unbuttoning his shirt, one by one, exposing the pale, soft expansion of skin, biting at it harshly, littering them with angry red marks. Minho reached down to his pants, which he quickly undid and pulled them off his hips.

“You look fucking delectable, like this.” Minho moaned as his eyes roamed all over the marks he had made on Chan’s body, shirt open and flowing behind him and the tiny dribble of blood on his lip from where he had bit too hard.

“Shut the fuck up already and just fuck me, Minho.” Chan panted, still furious, but powerless to reject the man that was hovering over him.

Minho quickly removed his shirt, throwing it aside, unbuckling and removing his pants off along with his boxers, exposing his throbbing length. He leaned down to capture Chan’s lips again, kissing him a bit more gently this time, as his hand moved down, wrapping around the older’s member, making his hips buckle against him.

Chan’s hands were clinging onto the expensive sheets in a painfully tight grip while Minho kissed along his collarbones, biting at the skin there.

The younger man quickly reached into the drawer, pulling out lube and squeezed the clear liquid into his hands, as he reached down to finger him open. Chan sucked in a breath sharply as Minho inserted another finger in and brushed against the spot.

“You can make noises you know,” Minho said, taking his time, teasing Chan as he stretched him slowly.

“Fuck you.” Chan’s words broke off into a shaky exhale, biting his lips as he locked eyes with the redhead, darker than they ever were before.

Minho flipped Chan onto his stomach, nudging his legs apart. He aligned himself with Chan’s entrance and pushed inside slowly.

“Fuck. Chan, you are always so _tight.”_ Minho groaned, voice laced with pleasure, as he slowly pulled out before entering him, roughly this time, making Chan cry out loud, whimpering. Minho gripped his hips so tight as he slammed inside of him again and again and Chan knew there would be bruises later.

Chan bit on to the pillow so as to not make any noises as the younger man leaned down, pressing his bare chest firmly against his back.

 _“I want to see your face.”_ Minho’s voice was laced with pleasure and a shiver ran down Chan’s spine. He gasped as the younger man pulled out suddenly, roughly flipping him back, facing him. He met eyes with Minho as he moved between his legs, holding them against his chest, pushing back in.

The sight of Minho, staring at it him as he thrusted in, always had the ability of making butterflies flutter their wings against his stomach and Chan turned his head to the side, closing his eyes so he would not have to see him.

“ _Channie_.” His voice was deep, still whiskey edged. “ _Baby,_ Look at me.” He ordered.

Chan kept his eyes closed.

He did not want to look at him. He did not want to look at the man that he loves and pretend it was going to be alright. 

“Channie.” Minho repeated, placing his fingers under his jaw, turning his face in his direction. Chan’s eyes fluttered open hesitantly and the man’s eyes were boring into the depths of his soul. There were so many emotions in Minho's eyes as he continued thrusting into him - lust, anger, confusion and something else that Chan would never figure it out.

Minho then moved his hands, gripping Chan’s thighs, lifting him up slightly and folding it back, the new position proving to be too overwhelming. Minho knew his body too well by now, each thrust being the right movement, hitting his prostate from memory, making Chan bite down on his lips to muffle his moans, causing the skin to tear more. Chan could feel Minho all the way inside him and it felt too fucking good as always.

Chan raised his hands up, moving to Minho’s back, digging his nails harshly into the skin. He heard Minho hiss in pain and that only fuelled him to dig in deeper, breaking the skin, slowly clawing at his back, and leaving a path of prominent red streaks down the toned, sweat covered flesh. He could hear deep, pain filled breaths from Minho as he pounded into him hard and Chan wanted to cause him more pain. He wanted to _hate_ him, but he knew, as he stared into those eyes, releasing his grip when he could feel the skin was bleeding, that he would never hate him.

Minho used the stinging pain in his back as fuel, as he pulled out and slammed in without a pause, pounding roughly and mercilessly as Chan’s head hit the headboard with every thrust. He did not give the older man a chance to breath, as curse words spilled out continuously from his mouth. The room was starting to get humid, filled with ragged breaths and Chan felt himself tighten around the younger as he came with a loud, strained cry. Minho leaned down to kiss Chan’s lips messily as he felt himself come undone, gripping onto his waist so tight. He fell beside Chan on the bed once he pulled out slowly, panting and trying to catch his breath.

“ _Wow…”_ Minho panted, his breathing ragged, draping an arm over him. “Maybe I should make you angry more often huh?”

And that was it for Chan. He could not take this casual behaviour from Minho anymore. He rose up to his feet, removing Minho’s hand off him, buttoning his shirt back up, and putting on his underwear and pants. Minho shifted in an upright position, his eyes burning on him.

“What is your problem?” He asked.

“My problem?” Chan laughed, sarcastically. “Gee, I wonder what my problem is.”

“Can we not do this again?”

“Minho, I can’t do _this_ anymore.” Chan said, turning to him, gesturing at the two of them, sounding miserable, already too emotionally spent.

“Chan…” Minho got off the bed as Chan zipped his pants up, putting on a clean pair of shorts and picking his shirt up.

Chan’s eyes moved to the scars running along Minho’s back, long, and red, left there by him, and a flash of guilt ran through him, but they were gone, replaced by the throbbing pain in his heart.

“No, _listen_ to me Minho, this has gone far too long, and I really can’t do this anymore.” Chan said angrily, running his sleeve across his eyes.

“Chan… please don’t go.” Minho sounded desperate and lost and the feeling around Chan’s heart tightened. He swallowed down a choke, picking up his phone to call for a cab.

He felt Minho’s hand over him, stopping him making Chan sigh in frustration.

“Then say it Minho, say why you don’t want me to go. Tell me why you care so much whenever I talk to someone else. Tell me why you treated me like shit these past few weeks. Tell me _why_ you are so bent on hurting me even more.” Chan asked him, lips quivering, feeling the tears rise up to his eyes.

“Don’t make this even more complicated Channie…”

“Don’t call me that.” Chan snapped at him, feeling that it is unfair that Minho could have this impact on him with just a nickname.

“And I am making this complicated? I am making things uncomplicated here. Putting a stop to this, to whatever this thing we had.” He could not help the anger that crawled up his throat.

“What is wrong with you?” Minho asked, hotly. “Weren’t we having fun just fucking each other? Why are you acting like I am the bad person here when this was mutual.”

“So, everything is my fault now?” Chan could not believe what he was hearing, laughing humourlessly.

“Do you need me to remind you who started this whole thing? Who turned up on my doorstep, desperate, saying they needed me?” Minho exploded and his tone of voice had turned icy, matching the gaze of his sharp eyes. “You are probably thinking that was a mistake huh? But it felt good didn’t it? Back then when you used me first?” Minho was yanking at the strands of his hair, his eyes cold, devoid of the warmth it usually held.

This was so unfair. Chan’s anger was rising back up, hot and like a torrent of blood gushing out. He knew he should leave before he said anything that he regretted but it was too late.

“The only mistake I fucking did was falling in love with you!” Chan shouted, his confession now out in the air, even though he had made it obvious, the other man just choosing to ignore it so blatantly. The harsh sound of his shout had scraped the air out of the room.

Chan never thought the first time he would be confessing his love to someone would be in the middle of a fight, to a man who was so against the idea of relationships.

He saw Minho's head snap up, flinching as he moved back, his eyes wide with the realisation, and Chan could not help the bitter smile that tugged at his lips.

“I thought you were just a coward…. but you never saw me as anything other than a tool to have sex with.” Chan sighed, a stray tear rolling down his eyes.

“That is not true…” Minho took a step forward, grabbing Chan’s hand in his, not letting him go.

“Either you are lying to yourself or you have been lying to me all this while…which one is it Minho?”

Minho stayed quiet, and Chan wished with all his heart he would say something, _anything._ He wished he would not let him go. He felt Minho’s hand squeeze tighter around him.

“Say it. You know what to say. Say it and I will stay Minho.” Chan pleaded in a choked noise, syllables crumbling at the end of his sentence.

“Chan…I can’t.” Minho’s eyes had so much pain in them as his face had shifted from sadness to something akin to guilt and Chan’s heart sank. He was right. Minho never had feelings for him. “I am sorry.” He concluded, head dropping down in defeat.

“Then let me make this easy for you.” Chan said his eyes agonised as he tried to take a cold tone, “Marry the woman your dad chose for you, enjoy the life he had planned out for you.”

“But, _let me go,_ _please.”_ Chan begged, fingers desperately clawing against the others, slowly losing the sensation of the smooth skin against his hands. He was choking on thin air, trying to fight to hold on to something he could never get used to losing. He never meant to fall in love with the man here. He was stupid enough to keep ignoring the pangs in his heart, he was stupid to initiate this whole thing that just ended up with him falling even deeper in endless hole.

“Find someone else for your booty calls. I am sorry, for screwing everything up.” Chan said softly, taking two steps back, turning and leaving. He heard the door slam shut, the sound ringing in his ears, echoing through the walls.

Minho was left behind, staring at the floor, trying to collect his thoughts together, trying to understand what just happened. He did not know what he wanted anymore. He did not know what he felt for Chan anymore. He felt _numb._

As his mind kept whirring the only thought that kept popping up was that _Chan left._

He might be lost but he knew one thing.

_He cannot lose Chan._

His legs immediately came to life, running through the open door to get to Chan. He did not know what he was going to say if he were able to catch him, but he knew he could not end this like this.

Panic was stabbing at his chest as he got into the elevator, pushing the button rapidly. Chan said he fell in love with _him._ Till now, Minho did not think it was possible for anyone to fall in love with him. People usually sleep with him for the money or because he was attractive, but _never_ for love. He ran as soon as the doors opened, rushing past the security guards who were looking at him bewildered. He entered the street along his apartment, eyes searching everywhere for the dark-haired man. Just when he was about to lose hope, he caught sight of him a few feet away, getting into a cab and leaving. 

Minho fell to his knees, panting for breath, fingers pulling onto his hair. This was not supposed to hurt. This was never a relationship. He was supposed to not care what the other man felt. If Chan fell in love, it was not Minho’s fault. 

But, why was his heart hurting so much if he did not care?

Why was the image of Chan, looking defeated and broken, as he walked out, imprinted on his mind, tightening his windpipe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was the most painful and difficult for me to write tbh and I don't know if i did justice to it.  
> When will they realise the power of proper communication smh.  
> Anyways, the next chapter will focus more on Minho's character, and why he is the way he is.  
> Thank you so much for reading <3


	17. Chapter 17

For Minho, relationships were never something that he needed. He learnt to survive without anyone loving him or showing him how to love and he thought that _love_ itself was something temporary, and non-existent.

He did not really pay any heed to how handsome the man was when he slept with him the first night he had met him at the bar. True, he wanted the man to stay longer the next morning, and was disappointed when he left but Minho did not really think of him again until he saw him the second time, standing by the ocean during the party and that was when his heartstrings tugged. The moon was huge, a glowing disk in the sky like a stage light, surrounded by twinkling stars, and the moonlight reflected upon the man's features, making him _glow._ The man was _ethereal,_ and Minho was taken breathless. The view itself was astounding but the man standing there made it even more mesmerising and Minho found himself walking towards him. He did not know what he was going to say but his feet had a mind of their own, getting closer to him with every step. The night sky was reflecting in his dark eyes, the moon and stars shimmering, and Minho felt himself call out the one word that he didn't know was going to change his life - 

“Chan?”

At first, Minho purely wanted friendship from the other man. He just wanted to see him, again and again, for no possible reason. He knew he fucked up when he suggested the idea of friendship with benefits. However, he wanted to try again which was why he begged Hyunjin to take him to café. 

He was so glad he did that, because then they started a friendship, a relationship he started to treasure. Minho also found himself being constantly nervous in the presence of the older man. When Chan turned up at his doorstep, eyes tinged red like had been crying, Minho felt his heart drop. He felt a need to comfort the man standing before him. However, when Chan pulled him, joining their lips together, Minho lost all his self-control. Taking him to bed, losing himself in him. When the older man wanted a friend with benefits relationship, Minho was all for it. Out of all his sexual expedites, Chan was the best. No one had made him feel the way Chan had made him feel. There was a certain sort of vibe with him, a certain comfort level with him and he was enjoying each and every sexual encounter with him.

Until things took a turn, until Minho realised that somewhere, somehow, he started caring about the man.

Minho did not believe in love. Maybe it was because his mother had left him, leaving him broken. The day imprinted on his mind as he remembered holding onto her leg when he was just ten.

_“Mom, where are you going? Don’t leave me.”_

However, she just shook him off, picking up her bags and getting into the car which was being driven by another man as Minho cried from the doorway. She did not even call to ask how he was doing, did not even return back, not bothering to even visit him. 

Didn’t people say a mother’s love was the most important? If his own mother did not love him, why would anyone else. If she could leave, so could everyone else.

Minho never got to see what love looked like, always sleeping with tears in his eyes, listening to his mother and father shouting at each other about some new problem. Waking up to an empty large house that made him more lonely. When his mother left, Minho tried to turn to his father for company and comfort. He wanted to fix his broken self. However his father was always busy with work, and never had any time to spend with Minho. But Minho understood, work was his distraction to stop being upset over his wife leaving him. Just like how dancing became his distraction, his passion.

Minho could feel himself isolating from everyone, but his life changed when he went to school and met Hyunjin. The one boy who was persistent in becoming his friend. Who showed love still existed, through friendships. Hyunjin had stuck by him through all his hardships, had put up with his tantrums and had understood him when Minho had his moments where he just wanted some space.

Minho grew up to be extremely handsome and so was Hyunjin, and they got a lot of people coming up to them, asking them out or trying to woo them. But Minho rejected them all, not finding anyone worth his time or interest. Hyunjin had done the same, not wanting to leave his best friend alone.

Things changed when they went to college and Hyunjin met Seungmin. That was when Minho's insecurities and fear kicked up again, the first thought in his mind being Hyunjin was going to leave him. They had fought one day, badly, and didn't talk to each other for almost a month. However, Minho knew he couldn't lose Hyunjin, finding the man and talking to him, confiding in him. It was the first time Minho attempted to communicate, to talk things out and not get shot down. It did feel good to open up to someone and as Minho met Seungmin afterwards, he was genuinely happy his best friend got to experience what love was. He was happy his best friend knew how to love, and wished for once, he was able to do the same.

The one person who truly intrigued Minho was Chan. Maybe that night at the bar, he felt something from Chan, maybe that was why he sat next to him, getting him a drink. Or maybe it was fate. It was never his plan to end up falling for Chan. All the moments they had together were like out of a book or a movie, something Minho never thought he would experience.

_“I can’t lose you, Minho.”_

When Chan had told him that, his voice a desperate whisper in the cold night air, Minho felt the same. He couldn't lose Chan. He was helping Chan into the cab when the man suddenly grabbed onto his hand, thinking he was Changbin, and said he lied, he couldn't do meaningless sex anymore. 

_"I think I caught the feelings."_

That caught Minho off guard, they were not supposed to have feelings for each other, wasn't that the first rule? But somehow, they started not giving a fuck about the rules which was why they got themselves into this messy situation.

Minho thought it would be the best to give Chan some time away from him, to sort his feelings out. He was being unfair but it was better to pretend Chan didn't say anything than accepting that he too might have felt something for the older man. Minho could give the man sex and money but he would never be able to give him a relationship.

He knew he was being an asshole to Chan and the man didn't deserve this treatment. Minho wanted to apologise, to tell the man about his past, and explain why he was so difficult, why he was so complex. He wanted to just cry and tell Chan that he was going crazy with so many emotions that were going through his heart and his mind. Emotions he couldn't make sense of. 

Minho asked Chan to come to the party with him so he could finally open up, apologise to him but it was so difficult for the words to come out and of course his insecurities had to come to the surface and fuck everything up. It was a disaster, it wasn't supposed to have gone that way. He hurt Chan so much, more than the previous times, he had caused him so much pain and Minho would never forgive himself for that. Minho knew he was broken, and he ended up breaking Chan in the process. Can broken things be fixed?

He was feeling so numb and he could feel his body wrecking up with sobs. It had been a long time since he had actually cried.

Chan was right, he was the biggest coward.

* * *

The silence that followed the ensuing days was too tense, and emptiness expanded like a balloon inside Chan’s chest. As soon as Chan reached his home after leaving Minho, he had screamed, cried, punched the wall numerous times until his knuckles were bruised and bleeding. He welcomed the pain as he went to bed, crying himself to sleep.

Chan ignored his phone, only picking it up to call up his boss, asking for a week off because of a family emergency, that his boss disgruntledly agreed to. He did not want to show his face to the outside world and time passed by rapidly without his knowledge. He felt stupid and spent his days, curled up into a ball on his bed.

Chan did not know how many days had passed when there was a sudden knock on the door. He sat up with a jerk, heart thudding painfully against his rib cage as he did. The knocking resumed, getting louder and louder.

He threw the blankets off before getting to the door, his heart racing furiously. A relieved sigh shook his frame as he threw open the door to see Changbin, Jisung and Felix standing there, carrying large bags of what looked like groceries and take away food.

“What are you guys doing here? Chan asked and his throat felt so raw and dry. He cleared his throat, swallowing.

“A whole day passed by and you did not text me after that night, Channie.” Changbin said, looking at Chan from head to toe. Chan knew he was a mess, he had not showered or brushed his hair, and his head was still throbbing from all the crying.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up alright Chan-ah?” Jisung said, taking his arm gently and steering him to the direction of the bathroom. Chan hissed at the contact, his hand still bruised from all the punching he had done, and his friends noticed it.

“Go take a shower, I will set the food, and we will talk.” Felix said, his eyes moving from the wrist to look at Chan.

Chan allowed himself to be pushed away to the shower. Jisung turned on the hot water and went out to his room to get a fresh set of clothes as Chan undressed himself and caught his reflection in the mirror. His breath came out in a choke as he saw all the marks Minho had left, during their last night together, a reminder of their time etched onto his body.

He got into the shower and stood under the hot water, trying to scrub them away, scratching at himself, but they were like a permanent tattoo on his body, and he shouted out in frustration when the marks were refusing to fade.

He gave up after a while and got out, wrapping the towel around him, taking the clothes from Jisung before dressing himself up.

“Is your hand okay?” Jisung asked as he held his wrist tenderly, checking to see if it was swollen.

“Yeah… it is okay.” Chan sighed.

He felt droplets of water fall onto his hand and looked up in shock to see Jisung was actually crying. Jisung, his happy pill, who always managed to smile through all difficulties.

“Jisung…”

“I am sorry Channie…” He said, wiping away the tears, “It is just that, you were always so strong, always trying to make us happy, but you have been struggling so much and I failed to see it. I saw you scratching away at the marks and it hurts to see you this miserable.”

Chan pulled Jisung close for a hug, “I am really going to be okay. Please, you know I am not able to stand seeing you cry right?” He was blinking away his own tears, wondering when his boring life became so dramatic.

Jisung sniffled before pulling away gently, “Let’s get some food in you, your own clothes started looking baggy on you.”

Chan still did not have an appetite, and he was just mostly pushing his food around in the plate, until Felix could not take it anymore, grabbing the chopsticks from him and feeding him.

“So, do you want to talk about it?” Changbin asked, once Chan had forcefully swallowed the last bite that Felix had fed him.

Chan sighed, casting his eyes downwards. He did not want to talk about it, truth be told, he wanted to forget that the past eight months had ever happened.

“Hyunjin told me, Minho hadn’t gone into work the past few days too.”

Just the mention of his name stirred something up in the pits of Chan’s stomach.

Chan choked, a broken sound and buried his face in his arms.

“I fell in love. I told him I love him. He does not love me back. The End.”

The memory of Minho flinching when Chan confessed replaying in his mind against the back of his eyelids, unable to escape from it. He could feel arms around him, comforting him, soothing him and he embraced the comfort.

He was grateful that Changbin did not mention that he was right, had always been right. Maybe Chan too, knew, but ignorance was bliss and he did not want to face the harsh reality of the consequences.

“Chan-ah.” Changbin said gently, “You know I would punch him for you right? My hands are really itching to do so. But Hyunjin said he has his reasons for the way he is. This however doesn't stop me from wanting to kill him for making you go through all this. It really irks me that he brought this upon himself, when one conversation could have solved your problems, could have stopped the situation from escalating into this mess.” He finished, sighing in anger.

“It hurts so bad.” Chan whispered. “He is never going to open up to me, and I am tired of hurting myself all the time. I am tired of him treating me nice one minute and being so cold the next minute. I am so tired. I hate him for making me feel this way.” He paused for a moment, taking in a deep breath, "He said a lot of mean things and it hurt me so deeply."

“Just do what makes you happy, Channie.” Changbin advised him. “It is time you put yourself first. I need you to be happy.”

"It is going to be okay. Channie." Felix said sadly, "Things will get better soon, please believe it. If he really cares, he would try to fix this."

"I don't know...It is hard to trust him again." Chan sniffled. "How did you guys know what happened?" He asked.

"Well... we kept calling you, and Changbin knew you went with Minho. So he called up Minho who also didn't pick up and he drove straight to Hyunjin and started shouting at him." Felix said, smiling sadly at Chan. "Hyunjin then told him that Minho said he had hurt you and we just came straight away. I am sorry I didn't know you were going through so much pain."

"It is really okay Felix...I brought this upon myself, none of you should be sorry."

“Channie…” Jisung spoke up from beside him, “Give me the word, and I will write something nasty about him in the papers.” This made Chan laugh softly, choking back on his sobs.

“No… it is fine Jisung.” He whispered. He did not want to admit to them that he missed him, _greatly so._ But he did not want to go talk to the younger man, he was done getting hurt and it _was_ time for him to put himself first.

* * *

Minho lost count of the days that passed by and all he remembered was him sleeping through most of the days. He had called Hyunjin up, when he went back to his apartment the day Chan left, telling him that he had hurt the man before hanging up. Hyunjin and Seungmin had come over several times after that, checking on him, making sure he ate food. He tried asking them about Chan, but they either had no information on him or didn't want to tell him.

"Minho, your biggest problem is that you don't communicate, you shut yourself off instead of giving them a chance to understand you." Hyunjin reprimanded him. 

Minho sighed, staring out of the window, feeling miserable and lonely. 

"Are you just going to sit there and let him go?" Hyunjin asked angrily as Seungmin placed a hand on him, trying to calm him down.

"He deserves better, Hyunjin." Minho whispered, his tone laced with pain.

At this, Hyunjin deflated, sinking on the couch next to his best friend.

“Don’t you think it is time you gave yourself a chance at happiness, Minho-ya?” Hyunjin asked him, his voice heavy with sadness.

“Happiness doesn’t exist for me Jinnie.” Minho sighed, “I always end up hurting them and then they leave. I really caused him so much pain.”

“I am sure he would understand if you spoke to him.” Seungmin advised gently.

“He said he loved me.” Minho said, feeling the tears coming back up, “He said he loved me, and I flinched. I freaking flinched right in front of him. You should have seen his expression.”

“He loves you which means he would understand if you could explain your emotions to him.” Hyunjin said, “Take some time, Minho. You deserve to be happy just like anyone else.” He wrapped his arms around Minho bringing him close for a tight hug. “Chan is a nice person, yes you did hurt him, yes he might take a long time to forgive you or never forgive you, but he deserves to know about your feelings too.”

Seungmin hugged Minho from the back, “Yes, Give him a chance to understand. He deserves to know what you truly feel don't you think so?”

"He tried...he tried so hard to understand me." Minho uttered, feeling tears fall down as Hyunjin and Seungmin stared at him sadly. Minho never cried, especially in front of others, but right now the pain was unbearable.

"I said so many mean things to him, he would never give me another chance. Why would he? I am a bad person." Minho sobbed, his hands coming up to cover his face.

Minho felt the hug from Hyunjin and Seungmin tighten, as they tried to reassure him.

"All relationships have their bad moments, and it is up to the two people in it to decide whether they want to make it worse or better." Seungmin said softly, stroking Minho's back gently.

"Minho, I have been with you for over a decade, I love you and you are _not_ a bad person," Hyunjin said, pulling Minho closer to him and letting him cry on his shoulder. "I have also watched you trash your own happiness for so long, saw you live in fear and I couldn't even do anything about it because you were so stubborn. I can't let you destruct yourself like this again..." He trailed off.

"I don't know how hurtful you were to Chan, but communication is vital here. I feel like you both just bottled everything up, not addressing the problem and it kept piling up until one day it escalated into a fight."

Hyunjin sighed sadly, feeling his own tears well up, as he felt his best friend break down in his arms, never seeing this side of him before. Minho was always calm and collected, always pretended to not care about what others thought about him. Chan clearly meant a lot to him if he was making him this upset.

"You are sad, and you know he is sad too and it is breaking our hearts to see you two like this. Minho, it is time you learn how to open up, how to let people in, and it is time you start taking the steps needed to fix this." Hyunjin consoled, stroking his back gently. "Everything's going to be alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first started this fic, it was supposed to be like 20k words long hahahaha. Also, I enjoy reading all your comments really <3 I think that inspired me to put in more effort and write more so once again, thank you all <3  
> Minho is starting to realise his feelings but he needs to learn to accept the past and not allow it to affect his happiness anymore....and as for Chan...well let's see if he forgives him :')
> 
> Thank you so much for reading <3 also I just wanted to say, Minchan this era is just <33333333 married couple!


	18. Chapter 18

People handled grief differently. Chan knew that. They either find a new hobby or a distraction but he was so tired of everything and it might have been a total last minute decision but he found himself handing in his two weeks’ notice to leave his job. His boss had looked at him with disappointment, telling him that he did not do anything great the past two years he had spent in the company and all Chan could do was sigh in silence. At least he only had to put up with this for two more weeks. He probably would regret this when he ends up being jobless but his experience with Minho taught him that he had to put himself first. He wanted to finally try letting go of his fears and try to achieve something. When Chan broke the news to his only friend at work, he was surprised when Jeongin teared up.

“Hyung, you are leaving? what am I going to do without you?” He sniffed sadly.

“Jeongin…I will always be here with you.” Chan said, gently patting the younger man trying to soothe him. “You know… I have a group of friends… and we meet every week and I am sure they would love to adopt you into the group.” He smiled at the man sincerely.

Jeongin looked up at him with bright eyes and Chan wanted to coo at how cute this man was. “Are you for real?”

“Yes Jeongin. I am serious.”

“Ah… Thank you hyung. Maybe I will finally get to see the _friend_ you were obsessed with!”

Chan had not told anything about what went down with Minho to Jeongin and he felt his heart clench as he was suddenly reminded of the younger man’s existence.

“He is no longer my friend, Innie.” Chan sighed and he watched the younger man’s face drop.

“Oh, is that why you have been looking this depressed, hyung?”

Chan did not answer, the topic of Minho still hurting him even though it had been weeks since the party and their falling out happened.

“I had never seen you happier the last few months… well other than this month that is.”

“I will be fine, Jeongin.” Chan said softly.

Two weeks passed by slowly, without a sound from Minho. Chan thought it would be difficult initially, but he found out that he was able to cope, by distracting himself and applying to numerous companies for auditions, even to DAY6. He had saved up a little below the money for it, but his friends had offered to pitch in, and Chan was grateful.

He was packing all of his things that were mostly little trinkets and pictures of him with his friends into boxes. There was one picture that caught his eyes, it was taken during the time they had gone to the guesthouse, the one Seungmin had printed for them and he picked it up and looked at it sadly. All of them looked so happy and his eyes went to Minho, the man was glowing, his hand causally over Chan, both of them smiling at the camera unknowingly, that things would get fucked up in the future. It seemed like it was taken years ago and back then everything had just been casual, yet they looked so radiant. Chan tossed it into box, finished gathering his things and Jeongin helped him carry them to his car downstairs.

Chan went back up to see his boss one last time before he set foot outside the building and never return back.

“Chan.” The boss said, his voice cold.

“I am leaving now.” Chan said.

His boss nodded his head in acknowledgment, dismissing him.

“I just wanted to say, I have made some horrible decisions in my life. But leaving this job…” Chan took a deep breath and exhaled, “Was definitely the best decision of my life.”

He saw his boss look up in anger and Chan smirked as he walked out of the building. It was time for the new phase of his life.

“Hyung, I can’t wait to meet them all. Do you think they will like me?” Jeongin asked, hopping up and down on his seat in excitement.

Chan chuckled, staring at him fondly, “Of course they would.”

They reached the café after a while and as soon as they entered, Felix came running, pulling him into a tight hug.

“We haven’t seen you in ages!” He said, pulling back to look at Chan with shining eyes.

Chan had told them he couldn't meet the group the past few weeks, telling them that he was busy with applications, however it was also the fear that he might run into the other man here and Chan was not sure he would be able to handle it right now.

“I was working on fixing my life.” Chan chuckled, “By the way…” He stepped to the side, revealing Jeongin who was trying to hide behind his frame shyly.

“This is Jeongin… You know him, remember?”

Felix squealed before pulling the surprised man into a hug, knocking his breath out. “Thank you…for making Chan happy in that environment.” Felix said, still choking the man.

“Felix…” Changbin said, striding towards them, followed by Jisung, “Let that poor man go.”

“I am Changbin.” Changbin introduced himself, “This hyper excited blonde is Felix and this man,” He said pointing at his side, “Is Jisung.”

“I am Jeongin. Chan’s personal happy pill.” He said excitedly and Chan laughed.

As they were talking and getting to know each other more, Chan watched as Changbin and Jisung looked up over his shoulder, their eyes widening slowly.

“Hyunjin, are you serious?”

Chan felt the blood drain from his body as he turned around slowly, it had been a month since he saw _him_ or heard from _him._

Of course, fate had a funny way of making Chan run into Minho at all times.

Minho was standing there beside Hyunjin, looking every bit as shocked as him. Minho looked _tired,_ there were dark shadows pressed under his eyes and he looked like it had been ages since he even slept. They stared at each other, Chan’s breath catching in his throat and lodging there like a pill. He felt the familiar sting of tears at the back of his eyes, and he tried to take in a deep breath.

“Sorry…” Chan apologised as he felt a stabbing pain in his heart, “I have to go.” He walked past the man, exiting out the door and hurrying towards his car.

He heard Jeongin call out to him and he heard _Minho_ call out, but he ignored them, just wanting to get away.

“Chan!” He felt someone grab his hand, spinning him around and he felt himself collide against his chest, losing his balance and almost falling over as a strong arm steadied him. It was not fair how a simple touch from the man could sent his heart haywire.

Chan jumped out of the hold, pushing the man away, before trying to walk away.

“Stay. I will leave.” The man spoke.

Chan stilled in his steps, sighing, and turning around, “Why? I am the reason why everything went to shit, i broke the rules and I don’t want our group to pick sides.”

The whole time Minho stood there watching him, Chan felt terrified, he missed him so much, he wanted him back, but he was so _tired._

“You cannot just leave your new friend there and go… I will leave. I just came by because Hyunjin asked me to.” Minho sighed. “Chan…” Minho continued, “I am sorr-“

“Don’t.” Chan bit back sharply. “Just…Don’t.”

“No, trust me. I have been working on myself Chan, I am not asking you to forgive me, but I just want you to know I am trying so hard, fixing myself to be a better person for you.”

Chan bit his lips hard, trying to keep his tears at bay, “I just can’t trust you anymore…” He choked out.

He saw Minho wince as he cast his eyes downwards and it was not fair.

“Anyways…stay…you should stay.” Chan said, struggling with his words.

“You need their company more than I do right now, and Jeongin gets along well with everyone, he would be fine.” Chan said as he turned around.

“You can’t even say my name now, can you?”

Chan stopped in his tracks, closing his eyes shut and holding in a deep breath, but did not turn around.

“I am really sorry Chan.”

Chan let out the breath he was holding in before he continued walking towards his car.

Minho entered the café again, feeling numb. He felt all the eyes on him as he staggered over, slumping into a seat. Hyunjin passed him a hot coffee that Minho was thankful for and his hands started shaking as he held the cup in his hand.

He tuned out the conversation that was taking place, his mind only focused on Chan and how the man could not even say his name or barely look at him.

The new addition, Jeongin was really chirpy and he did get along well with everyone like Chan had said. He heard his name being mentioned and looked up at those doe eyes.

“Why do you look so downtrodden, my little one?” Jeongin asked.

Minho sighed heavily, looking back at his cup. “Because I am an idiot.” 

A silence surrounded them before Minho cleared his throat, “I have to go.” He said, getting up and leaving the café.

He heard footsteps after him and Changbin’s voice called out to him.

“Minho, can I talk to you?” Changbin asked, catching up to him.

Minho stared at him, perplexed.

“Look, either I could just punch you for hurting Chan and leave or I could talk to you and try to understand you better.” Changbin said, raising an eyebrow at him. “Which one would you prefer?”

Minho coughed awkwardly before answering, “The first one.”

Changbin laughed at that, “I don’t know you well enough, because I feel like we both have hardly spoken to each other.” Changbin explained, adjusting the watch on his wrist. “I prefer the second option; do you want to go somewhere and just sit and talk?”

Minho was confused, wondering why the man would even want to talk to him right now. Wasn’t he supposed to be angry at him for breaking the heart of his best friend?

Minho agreed to it though, nodding his head slowly and that was how he found himself, sitting on a bench facing the park near the café. Breathing in the calm, crispy night air.

“You know…I really dislike you.” Changbin said, and Minho flinched, knowing it already but it was still hurtful. “Not because you keep shooting glares at me, but because you treated Chan really badly and he didn’t deserve that. You made me so angry.” Changbin paused to take a deep breath, turning to look at Minho, “But, I could see how hurt, how upset you look too, so I know you got hurt too in the process. My question is, why are you doing this to yourself?”

Minho cast his eyes down, staring at his shoes, “I was scared.” He said after a long silence.

To his surprise, he felt Changbin pat him on his back gently, “Everyone have their fears, you have yours, but you need to conquer them, not let them conquer you.”

“You know…I think you do have feelings for Chan, which is exactly why I am not bitch slapping you right now. But you need to try to fix this.” Changbin said.

“I don’t think Chan would give me another chance…” Minho sighed dropping his face into his hands, “He deserves better.”

“That is for him to decide.” Changbin said steely before continuing. “Chan quit his job by the way.” Minho looked up in surprise at that, his eyes wide. “Yeah…it was about time. And he is finally trying to get into companies, finally letting go of his fear of rejection. Well…he is _trying_ , and I am proud of him. but I believe he would have never done this if you had not been in his life so thank you, I guess.” Changbin’s voice was filled with pride and gratitude and Minho felt the coldness around his heart melt a little. “And you look… like shit, no offense. I mean you are still handsome, but you look so _sad_ and you look like you are in so much pain. I don’t really know you. I do not know what happened in your life, but don’t let that affect your life. This is something you could fix, Minho, instead of trying to deprive yourself of happiness. You deserve to be happy and so does Chan. You know...I was really worried for Chan when I heard about this deal you two had with each other and it was because this was the first time Chan actually invested time in another human. This was his first relationship and he really tried. Honestly, I don’t know if you both are perfect for each other, but we all agreed that both of you looked the happiest when you were with each other, I don’t think that bond was purely because of sex no matter what you tell yourself, Minho.” The man said, his voice soft.

“And I think you do know that. Something had been bothering you, way before Chan entered your life and you need to fix that before you could think of getting him back.” Changbin concluded, exhaling slowly.

Minho let the words sink in, knowing that Changbin was right. His relationship with Chan had ended up badly because of his past. He could have had something really good with the man, but he kept running away from the truth. In order to fix something, Minho believed he had to fix himself first.

“Wow…Changbin. Now I know why Chan really thinks highly of you. You are a man of wise words.” Minho looked at him, gaining some newly found respect for him. “I am sorry, for being difficult. I guess I was jealous all this while and I won’t do that again.” He sighed, embarrassed.

“Chan is my best friend and I will continue to hug him, comfort him and play with him, regardless of you being jealous or not. Actually, you could afford to be a _little_ jealous. Chan told me something which I wished he had never told me. Maybe you could ask him yourself once you two make up.” Changbin laughed. “And I don’t think I am wise; I am just telling you how things are and how it is never too late to fix it if you really care about the person.” Changbin finished, smiling at Minho sincerely.

Minho smiled back, his muscles hurting as he had not used them in a while, ever since Chan left.

“Thank you Changbin, really.” Minho said, gratitude seeping into his tone, extremely thankful for the talk.

* * *

Minho knew he could not keep running away from the truth. He had slowly started to accept that Chan was not just someone he wanted to fuck. Chan was someone whose company he genuinely enjoyed, someone who he wanted to protect, someone who he wanted by his side. He did not have an explanation as to why but for him to accept all these feelings fully, he had to come in terms with his past and move on. He had to fix his broken relationship with his father, find himself before he could go around fixing anything else.

Changbin gave him a small hug before they had left, reassuring him once again everything was going to be alright and Minho went back home, his mind feeling clearer.

Minho lost count of how many days had passed but he got ready, to finally go back to his office. It was time he spoke to his father again.

The office was quiet, save for a few people that were still on calls or sending out emails. Minho walked past them to enter his father’s office, without even bothering to knock. He knew he probably looked like a mess, dark circles outlining his eyes, shirt not tucked into his pants properly and shoes not polished. He did not even bother to comb his hair and knew it made him look like a mad man.

His father was talking to one of his colleagues and he looked up in shock.

“I need to talk to you dad.” Minho said, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“Can this wait? I am talking to someone here?” His father answered and it hurt him, hurt that his father did not even bother to ask where he went missing these past few days. Not bothering to acknowledge the fact that he looked broken.

“I am your son, everything else can wait.” Minho replied stubbornly.

His father stared up at him in exasperation, waving away the wide-eyed colleague and motioning at Minho to come over.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Minho whispered once he heard the door shut behind him.

“Do what?” His father asked.

“Pretend to be the perfect son.”

“Minho, stop wasting my time and tell me what you want.”

“What I want, is to do what I like.” Minho spoke out, loud and firm. “I want to be in control of my life.”

“Not this again, Minho.” His father looked at him wearily and it made his blood boil. “Please can you leave now?”

“No, please _listen_ to me, dad.” Minho was pleading at this point, his tone begging, “All my years I have appeased you, did whatever you want, and have you bothered to ask me what I actually like? Do you even know _who_ I like?” Minho’s voice had raised now, desperate for his father to actually _hear_ him for once.

"You always shut me out when I try to talk to you and this is exactly why I am so shitty at communication. You were supposed to be there for me, to talk to me, and teach me. All my life I have been an overachiever. Did you know that? I was the best dancer in college, the best athlete and even the best student and it was all so that my father could finally smile at me, say he was proud of me, but not once you have said that.” Minho said, his tone raw with emotions, letting everything out finally.

“Do you know how your son is so fucked up when it comes to love, how he keeps running away from it and it was not even his fault! It was all because of mom and you but he had to suffer the consequences.” He could feel the tears welling up and his father’s expression had changed from weariness to anger to confusion.

"Son, do you have any idea how many kids would prefer to be in your place? To be rich and to live a comfortable life? Why are you being selfish?"

Minho felt the anger creeping up from the pits of his stomach.

"I have been living my whole life for _you,_ dad. Never for myself. I don't think any kid want to live that kind of life. I lost only a mother but why did it feel like I lost my father as well too." He said, his voice quivering. “You were never there for me, dad. _Never._ And I am not asking you to be here for me miraculously. I just want you to appreciate me. To tell me I did well instead of constantly picking on my faults.”

Minho stopped to catch his breath and he saw his father was surprisingly still listening to him, not interrupting him, not looking at him like he was a waste of space.

“I wish you would stop looking at me like I am the biggest disappointment in your life, dad.” Minho sighed, looking down at his feet.

“I didn’t know you felt this way about me.” His father finally spoke up after a long silence. “You know all my work these past few years were for you, right?”

Minho blinked away his tears, “You did not even turn up for my graduation, choosing work over me. I had to stay with Hyunjin’s parents. I never got to experience your care, and that is why even I am unable to show people I care.” He said, feeling the tears drop finally. "You were going to get me to marry someone for the sake of your company. Your only love in this world is the company, not me."

Silence filled the room and Minho watched as his father looked at him sadly.

“Why are you telling me all this only now?” His father asked.

“I tried opening up to you so many times, only to get shot down, but I can’t do this anymore.” Minho replied sorrowfully.

“I am sorry.” His father apologised. “I really did not know. I know it might be too late but please let me start again, I will be there more.”

Minho laughed, bitterness in it, wiping away the tears, “I would have loved to hear this many years back, but now, I feel so empty. It took me the loss of someone who could have been special to me, to finally open up to you.”

“Hey…” His father reached over the table hesitantly, taking his hand in his. “Just like how you spoke to me, why don’t you talk to her too.”

Minho looked down at his father, “It is a _he_. And yes, I am not going to marry a woman and give you heirs.”

Silence vibrated against the walls of the office as he could feel his father’s eyes on him, “You know I need time to absorb all of this right.” He said, his voice low.

“Take all the time you need. I am letting you know that, I am going to control my own damn life now, dad.” Minho said firmly, finally feeling some pride flood into his being for being able to speak up.

“Maybe, my first job as a father, is to tell you to go and speak to this person. If he had made you feel like he was special, when you never believed that was possible, then he is the one. Go after him, Minho.” His father’s voice was strained with effort, struggling to find the right words to say.

Minho stared at him in shock, watched as his father tried to squeeze his hand gently, ears not believing what he was hearing. He knew that he could not just mend the relationship with his father with one conversation, they have to tread lightly, to actually start putting in effort to progress in their relationship. It is a decade worth of broken relationship but maybe one day, they could be like a normal father and son.

But now, it was time to sort his complicated feelings out.

When Minho reached the solitude of his apartment, he opened a bottle of wine, pouring himself a glass as he sank on the couch, looking at the view outside the giant window.

The gears in his brain were whirring, over his conversation with his father and over his memories with Chan. Yes, there was always something special with Chan but the feeling itself was so new and strange to him, and something Minho did not know how to handle. Minho always loved being in control, and now he felt like he was thrown into a loop as he was losing control of his emotions. There was some sort of uneasiness stirring up in his stomach as he remembered all those times, he had hurt Chan, all those times he used him for sex and just left him. How he treated him after Chan had told him he caught feelings in his drunk state. Just ignoring him, not being there for him. How Chan had been so _patient_ with him and yet Minho continued to be difficult. The sensations that were running through his veins were strange, and fuzzy and as the memories of Chan _smiling_ and _laughing_ and _crying_ played over and over on his mind. The pain that shot through his body at the thought of not getting Chan back was intense and that was when Minho finally realised. He finally understood what the weird feeling was, and realised the reason why he was in so much pain.

He was in love.

And he wished it weren't too late. He finished the wine in his glass in one gulp before throwing the glass at the wall, watching in satisfaction as the glass broke into a million pieces.

* * *

Chan was on the phone talking to Felix when the man suddenly mentioned Minho.

“Chan… are you never going to join us if Minho is there with us?” Felix asked.

Chan sighed into the receiver, he knew he would be affecting the group even more if he did that and that was never his intention, “I will join…I just need time now.” He finally said.

Being jobless was pretty stressful for someone who was addicted to work, even if his previous job was mainly paperwork and emails, Chan always had something to keep him occupied but now, his mind was open to all kinds of thoughts. He kept himself distracted with music and had been applying to so many companies, waiting for someone to get back to him.

Two weeks passed by slowly when he finally got a letter from the mail. Chan’s heart soared when he saw it was from DAY6, hurriedly ripping the envelope and opening the letter.

He read the first two lines and almost fainted with glee.

_“Welcome to DAY6 company, we are pleased to inform you that your application has been accepted…”_

Chan squealed with delight before calling up his friends, informing them of the good news. He jumped on his bed, smiling to himself as he realised, he was just one audition away from finally accomplishing his dream.

As Chan walked into the massive company, he stared in awe as it looked like something that came out of his dreams. There were multiple studios, all huge and filled with appropriate equipment. He walked through the long, wide corridor, stopping outside the door marked “Kang Younghyun.” Chan’s smile faltered for a while when it reminded him of his fight with Minho, but he composed himself, knocking on the heavy black door and entering when a voice asked him to come in.

Younghyun was sitting at his table, going through some papers as he looked up and smiled brightly at him. The man was handsome alright, looking the same way he did in the party long ago, hair long and blonde, and parted in the middle.

“Hello! You are Bang Chan, right?”

“Yes. This means so much to me, thank you.” Chan said as he leaned forward to shake the man’s hand before taking a seat.

“No problem, so it says here that you are interested in composing and have composed quite a lot of songs?” Younghyun mentioned, reading out from the paper.

“That is right.”

“Did you bring in any of your songs?” Younghyun asked smiling gently at him.

“Yes, I brought my laptop and hard disk.”

“Okay, follow me, I will show you the studio.” The blonde said as he got up from his seat and led the way.

Younghyun spoke about the history of the company and pointed out the rooms to him as he walked by. Chan was getting slightly nervous as he hoped his songs would be good enough to secure a place here. He would do anything to get to work here, and it will be a good boost for his confidence too, something he really needed after the whole fiasco with his relationship.

Younghyun pushed open a door to a huge studio, and it was _beautiful._ There was a recording booth on the end, with all the mics and Chan found himself falling in love.

“This is yours so you could use this studio to work on your songs and if you follow me, I will show you your room where you can…relax!” Younghyun chirped up excitedly.

_Wait. What._

“My…my studio?” Chan stuttered, not believing what he just heard. “Don’t you have to listen to my songs first? Make me go through an audition?”

“Wait, you didn’t know?” Younghyun asked him, eyes wide.

“Know what?” Chan asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

“Well… Minho sent me one of your songs and _god_ it was one of the best songs I ever heard? And you came up with that all by yourself?” Younghyun whistled in admiration. “That is some talent right there.” He finished clapping his hand on Chan’s back happily. “So, yeah once I heard that song, I needed to get my hands on you before any other company could take you in and you are hired!”

Chan, however felt the blood drain from his body.

_Minho?_

Younghyun was oblivious to the change in Chan's expression as he continued to ramble, "Minho seemed really determined to make me listen to it and even though at first I was reluctant, I was floored when it started. I asked him for the composer's name and then I saw your application..." He trailed off.

Chan tried to control his breathing, feeling the anger seeping into his bones as he tried to shrug it away, for now.

The rest of the tour went by fine and Younghyun showed him the room where he would be working from, then the cafeteria where he was allowed to help himself to the food there.

_“It is all organic!”_

After they were done, Younghyun gave him some documents to look through and sign them and he was officially a part of DAY6 company, starting work the next day.

“I am really excited to see what else you have in store for us Chan.” Younghyun said, hopping on his feet and Chan could feel this man grow on him.

“Thank you. For this opportunity.”

“You need to thank Minho for letting me hear that song. It was really emotional. Who was it for?” Younghyun asked.

“Someone I used to love.” Chan replied, his lips pressed into a tight line.

Once he exited the building, he started his car and drove through the roads, stopping at the familiar apartment. He had not been here since that day and he felt his heart thudding against his chest as he walked past the security, pressing the button to the particular floor.

He did not know what he was doing here, was not sure whether he was even ready to see the man again, but he was furious, and anger had an ability of making him do the most stupid things.

_Will Minho even be home though._

He reached the door and pressed on the doorbell multiple times, until he could hear footsteps against the floor, and the doorknob twisting and…there was _Minho._ Opening the door with anger and irritation that changed into confusion and surprise at the sight of the older man.

It was not fair how he looked so handsome even though it seemed like he just woke up, wearing a sleeveless tee and track pants.

“Chan?” Minho stumbled, clearly surprised that he was standing there in front of him.

Chan pushed aside Minho as he came in uninvited.

“What the fuck do you want from me?” Chan asked angrily.

“Excuse me?” Minho stared at him incredulously.

“You think I need your help to me get into a company? You think I am not talented enough?” Chan exhaled a frustrated sigh.

“Chan, you got to explain yourself…I am lost.”

“Did you tell Younghyun to give me a job in his company? I do not need your pity.” Chan spat, staring at him in anger.

“Wait… you got in? That’s…. that’s good isn’t it?” Minho asked bewildered.

“I didn’t need your help.” Chan said, jabbing a finger sharply in his chest. “If you were feeling sorry for me, assuming that I quit my shitty job for you and was jobless because of you, you were wrong. I did it for myself." He huffed in anger.

“Wait… Chan,” Minho said, “I did not tell Younghyun anything. I only sent him your song and said it was by you and asked him what he thought of it…I swear…it was all you. He could have seen your application and known it was you. It was purely your song that did this.” The younger man said, his lips turning up to a smile, as he placed his hands on the older’s shoulders. “You would have gotten in either ways, this just sped up the process…Congrats.”

Chan could not believe it. After so many years of doubting himself, of underestimating, he finally got in a prestigious company and with his own song.

A song he made for the man he fell blindly in love with.

“I am so proud of you Chan.” Minho beamed at him.

Chan’s eyes widened, happiness flooding his being as he looked up and smiled brightly, fading immediately as he remembered where he was.

“Take your hands off me.” He snapped at the man, recoiling from the touch and taking a step back, observing the drop in Minho's expression. “And okay…that is good then. Sorry for bothering you.” Chan stuttered, turning on his heel, storming away to the door.

“Wait… Chan.”

Chan ignored him as his hands turned the knob, opening the door and heading towards the elevator.

“What can I do to make you talk to me?” Minho asked as he came running to the door, staring after him, and there was a tint of fear mingled with desperation in the tone.

“Make me trust you again.” Chan said, as the elevator doors closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In order for Minho and Chan to fix their relationship with each other, I believe they need to fight their demons first and conquer them. So yes, Chan has finally left his job, letting go of his fear of rejections while Minho finally spoke to his father, finally learning how to communicate properly.  
> Also Minho actually trying to help Chan by sending his song in is important because Minho was jealous, but he was willing to put that aside, because in the end Chan's happiness meant more to him <3  
> And yes Minho finally realised he was in love :') hopefully not too late.  
> And also Changbin bestest boy <3


	19. Chapter 19

Chan loved his new job. In fact, love was an understatement. Younghyun was extremely funny, kind and caring, completely the opposite of his previous boss, and his partner, Jae, was even more hilarious and carefree, and it was easy for Chan to get along well with them. It was definitely a good change from the toxic work environment he had grown used to for the past two years and work had kept him so busy that he found himself not thinking that much about Minho anymore.

He had shown Younghyun a few of his songs and they worked together to polish it and to make it more suitable for release. Younghyun had complimented him and said he had never seen someone this talented before and that was more than enough for Chan. His hard work was finally getting validated, the pay was amazing, and Chan was glad life was finally coming together, the pieces all falling together to form a jigsaw puzzle. However, there was a missing piece and Chan tried not to acknowledge that.

Being okay and acting to be okay were completely different, but Chan was used to the acting. He believed he was good at it as he had pretended he didn't have feelings for a certain someone for a long time until there were too many cracks and the act was shattered. He poured all his time and energy into his new job, coming up with various excuses so as to not meet up with his group, just so he could avoid _him._

Time had a habit of passing by quickly and two weeks flew by since he had joined. He was just working on the finishing touches on his latest song when there was a knock on the door and Younghyun walked in, a spring in his steps.

“Hey, Channie!” He called out, walking over to him. “We are planning to go out to a nearby club to celebrate a win one of our groups got. You game?”

Chan looked up, glancing back at his unfinished song. He really wanted to stay in and work more on it, but he thought about the idea. Other than Younghyun and Jae and a really friendly guy called BamBam, he really didn’t know the others, and this might be an opportunity to get to know them. He nodded his head and Younghyun smiled radiantly at him, “Ok, get ready. We are leaving in like ten minutes.”

Chan quickly headed to the washroom, checking his reflection on the glass, and patting his hair down. He looked tired and in dire need of a fun night out.

Younghyun had told him to wait outside near the receptionist area, where a van would come and pick them up. As Chan entered the area, he saw over ten people already crowding around and waiting and they were all engrossed in a conversation with one or the other and Chan was beginning to regret it. He stood by the side, idly fiddling with his phone when a shadow hovered over him, coming to stand by his side.

“Hey.” The stranger drawled slowly.

Chan turned to look at the man, and the first thing that popped into his mind was _wow._

The man was tall, and extremely handsome with dark brown hair shaved at the sides, and he had a body that Chan knew is extremely ripped just by looking at it through his tee. His eyes wandered over his body before slowing moving up to meet the man’s eyes which were piercing through him, smirking as if he knew Chan was checking him out.

“Yes?” Chan asked, trying to act nonchalant.

The man laughed, a loud booming sound before throwing his hand out for a shake.

“I am Matthew. I saw you standing here alone, so I decided to give you company.”

Chan looked at the man suspiciously, really not in a mood for another Minho fiasco, but he shook the man’s hand.

“I am Chan.”

Before they could continue, Younghyun popped into the room, exclaiming excitedly, and shooing them all outside into the van.

It was Chan’s luck that he found himself sitting next to the Greek god lookalike man.

“Are you new to the company?” Matthew asked.

“Yes… Yes, I am.” Chan answered, throwing a smile in his direction.

“Thought so…I would have definitely remembered a cutie like you.” Matthew hummed casually and Chan felt the heat rushing to his face at that, bringing his hand up to cover his face, giggling, “That was…smooth.”

Matthew chuckled and Chan felt his brain whirring again. This man screamed danger and he seemed like the typical playboy out of the books, but again, Chan shouldn’t be judging people based on their looks alone. Chan also knew he wasn’t the best when it came to people’s characters, having failed to have understood Minho’s. His heart sank as he thought about the other man again, trying to push him out of his mind.

They soon reached the venue, and Chan followed the group as they headed towards the table that was already booked, and Chan found Matthew sliding into the seat next to him.

Chan’s worries of the man slowly started fading away once he found out that Matthew was actually an easy person to talk to. He was a composer too and they had a lot in common when it came to music and their tastes and they found themselves lost in their own world, engrossed in conversations after conversations. It had been a while since Chan had laughed at anything and he felt his face muscles slowly start to ache. He realised this was something he needed.

“Where were you all my life?” Matthew grinned, downing his glass in a shot.

“I don’t know…but now I am here.” Chan smiled leaning in closer.

“I think we should exchange numbers, what do you think?” Matthew asked, taking his phone out. The confidence that was radiating out from the man’s body was overwhelming, but it was a nice contrast to Chan’s character where he always doubted himself.

Honestly, Chan didn’t know what he was doing, maybe he wanted to get some sort of revenge over Minho, maybe he wanted to get rid of all the memories associated with Minho but he found himself smiling and nodding slightly as he took down Matthew’s number in his phone and gave him a missed call.

It was like breathing in fresh air and Chan knew he wasn’t ready for another relationship of any sort, but it would be great to have a friend. They were now standing outside, waiting for their cabs, the cold night wind gently breezing past Chan and making him shiver impulsively. Chan suddenly found a jacket around him, engulfing him in warmth and looked in surprise at Matthew.

“What are you doing?” Chan asked, his forehead creased into a frown.

“Well, you were shivering, and I thought about hugging you at first but realised that would have been inappropriate.” Matthew shrugged.

Chan stared at the man, studying his expression to see if he were just another of those men who wanted to fuck around to add to their long list and not someone who would actually care but all he saw in Matthew’s eyes were warmth and friendliness.

“Thank you.” Chan said gently as his lips pulled up into a genuine smile, his hand reaching out to pat on the other man’s shoulder.

Matthew grinned before nodding, “It is really weird, but I already feel like I knew you for a long time, there is just something about you Chan.”

Chan could feel himself turning red, suddenly feeling extremely warm as he struggled to find something to say to that.

Thankfully, he was saved by his cab finally pulling up by the street and he turned to look at Matthew once again, “Thank you for tonight.” He beamed as he removed the jacket and passed it to him, before getting in.

Chan couldn’t stop thinking about the man. Minho had really left him a mess, and he found it hard to trust anyone. However, Matthew seemed really nice and he couldn’t help but compare this to the first time he saw Minho at the club and how extremely different the two men and the events that unfolded that night were.

Chan had called up Changbin as soon as he reached home, filling him up with the events that took place.

“Chan, that is really great!” Changbin applauded. “He actually said he would have hugged you but opted to give you his jacket? That is really cheesy but smooth.” He laughed and whistled appreciatively. 

Chan chuckled along, “Yeah, it is a pleasant change from a certain someone we know.”

Chan could just hear silence over the receiver.

“Changbin? Are you there?”

Chan then heard a sigh and Changbin spoke softly, “Chan, I hope you are not using this man as a distraction from Minho.”

Chan felt his heart clenching and he couldn’t help but get annoyed.

“What distraction?” Chan snapped at his friend. “Do you think I need to use someone as a distraction to get rid of my memories with _him?”_

“Chan…I was just asking you.” Changbin said slowly.

“Minho had a chance with me, and he blew it and I want to be happy.” Chan shot back.

“I want you to be happy too. But tell me, did you even feel anything for this man?” Changbin said, pausing for a second before continuing, his voice more calm, “I will always be here for you regardless, don’t think otherwise. If he is someone who won’t hurt you, then I am satisfied.”

Chan sighed into the phone, “Thanks Binnie, I just can’t stand _him_ anymore.”

“Chan, the group is dying to know when you will ever hangout with us again.” Changbin asked. “It had been a while. Are you joining us tomorrow?”

“I still need time Binnie.”

“I know…but it had been like over a month already and we really miss you. You don't have to talk to him.” Changbin suggested.

Chan sighed, knowing he can’t keep doing this. He didn’t want to see _him_ again, but he knew he had to one day and it might as well be soon. He could just ignore him; pretend he didn’t exist or something.

“Okay I will join you guys tomorrow.” Chan sighed finally, as Changbin cheered happily.

* * *

Minho didn’t expect to see Chan again soon. Granted, they hadn’t been in a group outing together in over a month, but Minho thought it would take many more months before the man agreed to be in the same room as him. He watched Chan walk into the café, wearing shorts and a loose tee, looking extremely cute and Minho tried his best to control his heart rate from escalating. Of course, Chan chose the seat that was the furthest away from him, smiling and nodding at everyone except him. Somehow, Minho was okay with Chan ignoring his existence, as long as he could actually see him again.

“Glad you finally decided to join us, Channie.” Seungmin said, smiling sincerely. “We missed you.”

Chan smiled at him guiltily, “Sorry I was occupied with work.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie, work had kept him busy the past few weeks.

Minho couldn’t keep his eyes off Chan, even though he tried not to look at him. The man definitely looked better than the last time he saw him in his apartment, when he entered suddenly, shouting at him and accusing him of taking pity on him. Chan still had prominent eyes bags under his eyes but other than that, he was glowing, he somehow seemed happier.

Suddenly, Chan’s phone started ringing and he picked it up, his lips turning upwards into a smile as he saw who was calling.

“Oh, hey Matthew. No no, I am free… tell me.”

At that sentence, everyone’s eyes moved to Chan, observing him curiously and the man cleared his throat awkwardly before getting up and moving to a more scheduled corner.

Minho's eyes followed Chan and he was straining his ears to listen in to the conversation even though he tried not to. The person over the phone must have said something because Chan looked up, eyes hovering over the table until it landed on him and jumping up when he realised Minho was looking directly at him.

They held eye contact for a while before Minho heard Chan whisper into the phone, “Yeah I am free.”

He hung up and sent a message to someone before standing up and walking over to the table. As he took his seat at the table again and finished his milkshake, Seungmin looked up at him. “You are leaving?”

“Yeah, I have to go soon… but I will meet with you guys soon, I promise.” Chan hummed, and Minho could tell he was purposely avoiding looking at him.

“Hyung, you were here only for like ten minutes.” Jeongin sighed sadly.

“Something came up, I will definitely meet you guys next week and make up for it.” Chan said softly and Minho could feel the confusion glazing over his own expression. He wondered who was on the call and why Chan was leaving so abruptly.

After a few minutes, Chan’s phone vibrated on the table and Chan turned to look behind after checking his notification. A man was waiting outside the café, and Chan got up, avoiding the look on everyone's face.

“I will see you guys next week.” He promised, before grabbing his bag and leaving. Minho watched Chan, with a sinking heart, through the glass walls, walking up to the extremely tall and attractive stranger with the brightest smile on his face, and engaging in a conversation. He wanted to ignore the scene unfolding outside, but he was unable to. Chan was standing extremely close to the other man and they were checking something on his phone before he started laughing, touching the stranger’s shoulder gently.

Minho wished they would just leave and go somewhere else instead of doing this here in front of him. He heard Seungmin speak up in the café, “So uhm is Chan in a relationship now?”

Changbin sighed before answering, 'Nah, but he met this guy last night and they really hit it off.”

“He is a real handsome catch though, damn Chan.” Jeongin whistled in admiration.

"He is really cheesy too." Changbin laughed.

"I am happy Chan is really having fun at work now." Felix mentioned, "He is starting to look better."

Jisung nodded along, agreeing, "And his clothes fit him better now."

Minho tried avoiding the conversation, but curiosity got a better hold of him.

“Is he happy?” Minho asked Changbin, his throat dry with fear.

“I don't know…it is too soon to tell, but he definitely looks happier now compared to the last few weeks…” Changbin trailed off looking at Minho apologetically.

Minho smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. He looked outside and Chan was now staring at the man, smiling his bright dimply smile that Minho loved. He felt as if someone threw a hundred knives straight at his heart and the pain was getting unbearable. He watched as Chan burst out with laughter again and the stranger suddenly pulled him in for a hug. And that was it, the last straw. He needed to get out of here _now_. Minho stood up suddenly, knocking his plate down before hurrying out. Hyunjin was calling his name out but his mind was just numb.

As he exited through the door, he saw Chan break away from the hug, turning to look at him, eyes growing wide as they held each other's gaze. It was probably only for a few seconds, but it seemed like an entire lifetime passed by as they stood there, watching the emotions flicker through each other’s eyes.

‘ _Chan, I missed you so much. I love you so much. If only I could make you mine, I would never let you go_ _again.’_ Minho thought to himself and he wanted to close the distance between them, wanted to grab Chan and kiss him, hug him and hold him tight and never let him go but as he saw Chan's eyes cloud with anguish, he exhaled slowly and started walking away, his steps heavy. He was almost at his car before Hyunjin came running after him, catching him by his arm.

“Minho…” Hyunjin whispered softly. Minho jerked his arm back from his best friend’s grasp, shouting at him, “Leave me alone, Hyunjin, I can't do this now.”

“Minho, they aren't dating.” Hyunjin insisted as Minho stopped in his tracks, turning to face him slowly.

“Did you see him laugh with that man? He only knew him from last night and he already seems so happy, so comfortable, so real. _I_ can't make him feel like that." Minho said before turning back and walking to his car again.

"Minho..." Hyunjin called out again sadly before pulling the man back and hugging him. The pain was so intense that Minho couldn't get the tears to come out.

"I don’t understand how he could move on already when it had just been over a month.” Minho choked; his voice raspy. “I fucked up Jinnie...and I don’t know how to make things right anymore. I think…” He whimpered hoarsely as Hyunjin’s embrace grew tighter, trying to comfort the shaking man. “I think I lost him.”

"Let's get going now?" Matthew asked and Chan was brought out of his trance as he spun around. “Oh yeah, let's go." he smiled, inhaling in a deep breath. Watching Minho walk away from him made him feel a sort of way. The man had looked devastated and crestfallen and it had hurt Chan more deeply than he would have admitted. He tried to shake away the feeling as he followed Matthew to his car.

The remaining day with Matthew went by well. It was strange how he found himself trusting the man, opening up to him more even though he knew him only recently.

“Who was the guy outside the café? He was looking at you as if you were his long-lost love.” Matthew asked nonchalantly as he stuffed in a mouthful of rice into his mouth and Chan tried to not to splutter on his water.

Who was Minho to him? He was the first guy he ever fell in love with, a guy who had given him some of the best-est days of his life. A guy who had made him feel confident, made him happy but had also taken all that away in a series of events.

Chan cleared his throat before answering, “Just a guy I used to see for some time, no one important.”

“Well…he clearly was looking at you as if you were important to him.” Matthew said, leaning back into his chair before shifting into a dramatic whisper, “Like he was in love with you or something.”

Chan laughed out loud at that, “You don’t have to worry about that, he doesn’t love me at all. We had a fling that didn’t last long, that was it.” He explained, offering a small smile.

It was unfair that Chan was lying to this man here, and he was feeling guilty now. There was no way the eight months with Minho had been simply a ‘fling.’

“So, he is not someone I should be concerned about?” Matthew inquired, and Chan noticed that the man was actually worried.

“You don’t have to be worried about anyone.” Chan chuckled.

“Okay…” Matthew grinned, before reaching across the table and grasping onto Chan’s hands, “So, was this a date?”

Immediately Chan’s brain went on an overdrive, a thousand thoughts crossing each other and the most prominent one being _what about Minho_.

“I was joking, calm down.” Matthew replied, shooting a flirty wink across the table and Chan felt himself relax. “But if you don’t mind, I would like to take you on a date maybe next weekend?”

Chan thought about it for a while, he had promised the group he would meet them again, and he knew if he stepped out of this one, they would be extremely disappointed but at the same time, he wanted to get rid of his memories with Minho and a date with this beautiful man in front of him would be ideal.

“I could do lunch with you but then I have to be back at the café in the evening.” Chan said.

“That is perfect.” Matthew smiled, “I will pick you up then.”

Chan was a bit embarrassed at how much he was beginning to enjoy the attention from someone as attractive as Matthew, and noted how he hasn’t tried to get into his pants and actually respected him.

The week rolled by fairly quickly and Chan got ready, dressed in one of his favourite outfits which was a pink shirt and black pants, and he realised this was the outfit he wore to the beach party where he had ran into Minho again after their first night together.

Chan was now in the passenger seat next to Matthew, the man looked even more stunning in his blue shirt and his hair was neatly styled back. As Matthew drove, Chan’s mind was thinking about how he used to do this with Minho, how he used to fiddle with the radio stations constantly and Minho allowed him to do so. How he had hopped over to the driver’s seat many times, making out and riding Minho.

Chan tried to concentrate on the date, but his mind was often wandering over to Minho, and how different this was.

“You tend to zone out a lot don’t you.” Matthew began, a grin curling at the corners of his mouth.

Chan smiled up at him sheepishly, “Sorry…I was just occupied with something.”

“It’s okay. You look cute when you are concentrating.” He grinned.

Chan burst out into giggles, extremely flustered. He locked away his memories with Minho in a corner of his mind after that and gave his full and utmost attention to the man before him.

Matthew ended up paying even though Chan demanded to let him pay and they were walking back to the car when Chan started feeling bold, letting his fingers lace with Matthew’s before asking, “Are you always this confident?”

Matthew laughed, a loud booming noise, which was a contrast from Minho’s contagious shrill loud laughter.

“Why do you ask? Does it turn you on?” Matthew asked, tilting his head and smirking.

Chan let go of the man’s hand to smack him hard on his arm, “No, shut up! I just wanted to know because I am not as confident as you.”

“You really are the cutest human on this planet, Chan.” Matthew chuckled, “I love making you flustered.”

Chan grumbled under his breath about how he wasn’t cute, and Matthew needed to get his eyes checked as the man continued laughing.

They soon reached the café and Matthew parked the car and decided to walk with Chan to drop him all the way to the door. Chan tried insisting that it was completely unnecessary, but Matthew was stubborn.

They were now outside, and Chan noted quickly through the glass walls that Minho wasn’t there yet.

“Channie…” Matthew whispered, turning to look at him, “I really had fun today.”

“Me too…” Chan replied with a smile, “Seriously, this was something I _really_ needed so thank you.”

Matthew shuffled on his feet and Chan was looking at him, confused. The man was always brimming with confidence but now he looked like he was unsure about something.

“I really want to do something, and I hope you would not be mad.” Matthew breathed as he took a step forward, and another step, closing the distance between them.

Chan could feel his breathing falter as he slowly realised what Matthew wanted to do as the man gently tilted his chin upwards, holding his gaze.

He was so close now and before Chan could react, he felt Matthew’s lips on his, the kiss hesitant and warm. It was a nice and pleasant kiss, different from how a certain man had kissed him in the past and Chan sighed softly into it, slowly kissing him back.

Matthew broke away from him with a smile, “This doesn’t mean we are official or something, you can take your time.” He said gently and Chan really appreciated that. “I will see you again?” He asked hopefully, and Chan nodded shyly, still not knowing where this was heading but growing to like it.

Matthew’s eyes flickered over Chan’s shoulders then back to his face, and he pulled Chan closer to kiss him again, long, and hard, before turning and leaving.

Chan stood there for a while, his hand moving to his lips and touching them, as he swayed on his feet, dizzy with the kiss before he spun around to enter into the café and his heart sank. He felt like someone took a bucket of ice and poured it over him as he recognised Minho standing there, his eyes wide, and looking extremely pale.

“How long were you standing there for?” Chan whispered, the warm wind breezing through them as the tension between them hung like a string waiting to be snapped.

The silence was deafening as Chan avoided the younger man's eyes by looking over his shoulder. Minho didn’t answer, just continued staring at him, and there was so much sorrow in his eyes, that Chan felt his breath catch in his throat as his eyes caught Minho's.

Chan watched as Minho turned away, walking away from him once again. Each step he was taking took him farther away from him. 

Why was he feeling so guilty? Wasn’t he allowed to have some happiness in his life? It wasn’t like Chan didn’t give Minho a chance, he gave his entire heart to him and got it thrown back at him, broken and shattered into pieces. This was in no ways his fault but somehow Chan felt like the bad person here.

Chan walked into the café after Minho left, and they thankfully hadn’t witnessed the kiss outside, and Chan didn’t want to tell them either. Hyunjin got a phone call later from someone whom Chan assumed was Minho, and he saw the smile fade on Hyunjin’s face before his eyes flickered over to Chan’s for a second.

He hanged up and announced to the group, “Minho isn’t feeling well, so he couldn’t join us.”

Chan nervously tapped his fingers against his thighs, feeling really uneasy.

Jeongin groaned, “I haven’t had a proper full group outing yet guys, this is so unfair.”

“Well…my birthday is coming up, so hopefully we will get a full attendance, don’t worry Innie.” Felix said, giving a small smile.

Chan tried to swallow down the lump in his throat as he cast his eyes down. The mood was dampened by Minho’s absence, and Chan knew Changbin suspected something and he was right as Changbin dragged him away when they were leaving.

“What happened?” Changbin asked him as soon as they were alone.

Chan knew he couldn’t lie or hide from him, so he recalled the events of the night, how Matthew kissed him and how Minho probably saw the whole thing and left and Changbin let out a long sigh.

“Okay first, Matthew kissed you? This man is so whipped for you.” Changbin said smiling at him, “And like I said earlier, as long as it is not someone who could hurt you, I am happy for you. But I don’t know what to do with you and Minho honestly.” He groaned. “If you two are constantly in pain, don’t you think it means something? Why are you always hurting each other?”

Chan looked down at his feet, thinking about it. It was too soon to say whether he liked Matthew or not. The man was definitely hot and interesting and Chan had somehow developed a comfortable connection with him thanks to their mutual interests and he had come into his life just when he was going through a hard time. He had been feeling lost and insecure and somehow Matthew's presence was what he required.

“I am trying to be happy here, Binnie.” Chan said, his voice restrained.

“I know Channie…” Changbin sighed. “I just hope you aren’t using Matthew as a rebound or something, as it is unfair when he actually ends up liking you.”

"He definitely isn't a rebound Bin. I genuinely like the guy. But, it is too early to say where this is going to go, you know." Chan explained.

"Okay, I believe you and if you end up really liking him and start dating him, I am going to fully support you." Changbin smiled.

“Argh, why is life so complicated.” Chan huffed suddenly, remembering how hurt Minho looked, his hands pulling on his dark strands.

Changbin chuckled, throwing his arm around Chan, “Well…the more complicated life is, the more interesting it is, don’t you think?”

“No Bin, I just want a boring life.” Chan groaned as they headed off.

* * *

Chan stared up at the dark ceiling in his bedroom, his mind racing with thoughts. He had been trying to fall asleep for hours now but he couldn’t. The image of Minho looking so _heartbroken_ was imprinted in his mind and he was confused. The man clearly implied he didn't love him, and Chan wasn't going to be hung up over someone who didn't return his love. He knew he deserved better. It started to rain heavily outside and Chan laughed, his head flashing hard and hot, at how ironic it was, that the storm was representing the thoughts that were going through his mind, which was a chaotic mess. Chan recalled the memories of how Minho had danced with him in the rain, how he had kissed him and he felt an unbearable burning in the pits of his stomach. 

Chan threw the pillow he was clutching onto, at the wall in frustration. Why couldn’t Minho just leave his thoughts already. He wished his brain would stop overthinking everything for once so that he could finally go to sleep, the one time his mind would remain calm. 

Minho could feel Chan slipping away from his grasp as he breath, lying awake on his bed. He thought about how sometimes, the agony could crush oneself, leaving them incapable of everything and broken. Minho waited for the tears to come, wanted to scream out loud and just _cry_ so that he could ease the ache around his heart that was slowly suffocating him. Not being able to cry was frustrating as it felt like something was being taken away from him, the ability to express the hurt he felt deep inside.

He wished Chan had punched him several times instead of kissing another man. He would have been able to tolerate the physical injury. The rain pouring outside matched his mood and he thought about how it was amazing, that when someone felt emotional pain, it didn't hurt like how a cut or a bruise would. Instead, it was just a heavy feeling and it annoyed Minho because at least with bruises and cuts you could apply medicine or put a band-aid on it. What about the pain that is internal? He felt like someone was suffocating him with a pillow, finding it hard to breath and the dull throbbing of his heart was becoming more intense by the minute. 

It was also amazing how the more pain Minho felt, the more he knew he brought this upon himself and that just made his body and mind ache even more.

In the day, Chan and Minho ignored each other's existence. But it had slowly become a recurring pattern for Minho to meet Chan at night, through his dreams, where he was transported to a whole other world, a world where Chan was still his and he hadn't fucked up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew~ minho and chan are just fools in love.  
> next chapter there will be more minchan interactions I promise <3  
> thank you for reading! and thank you for the 200 kudos hahah <3  
> Also Matthew is BM from Kard!  
> special thanks to @channiefanatic for listening to me complain and struggle with this chapter :')


	20. Chapter 20

Chan ended up seeing Matthew almost everyday thanks to their jobs. It became a habit to meet him regularly for lunch at their cafeteria often and he was starting to grow fond of the man. Matthew bought chocolate cookies for Chan everyday for a week just because Chan had complained once about how his friend called Felix never made cookies for him even though he had asked him multiple times, and that warmed up his heart, and his stomach.

"You really shouldn't have...you already bought me cookies the last four days of the week." Chan laughed. They were in his office and Matthew had plopped down on the comfortable chair, dragging Chan to sit on his lap.

"Well...how am I supposed to resist after you said 'Channie wanted cookies.' Do you have any idea how irresistible you are?" Matthew grinned pulling Chan into a kiss.

Chan wasn't going to lie, it felt nice to feel like someone finally appreciated him.

"Okay, go to your office now before someone walks in on us." Chan giggled, moving away from Matthew as the man held him steady.

"One more kiss before I go please?" Matthew begged and Chan chuckled as he pulled the man close to him, capturing his lips, kissing him softly before letting him go.

"Go away now." Chan laughed as the man got up in disgruntlement heading to the door.

"See you later Channie." He called out before closing the door behind him as Chan stared after him fondly.

Soon, it was time to go back home and Chan packed his things up, walking out and surprisingly running into Hyunjin.

“Chan?” Hyunjin’s eyes widened before he flung himself onto Chan, hugging him tightly.

Chan patted Hyunjin's back, “What are you doing here?” He asked when Hyunjin pulled away from him.

“I came here to pass something to one of the composers who works here, Jinyoung. We both are friends." Hyunjin mentioned, "Do you…do you want to grab a coffee together?” The man asked him, “Just the two of us?”

Chan felt a little awkward, even though he loved Hyunjin dearly as a friend and had met him countless number of times, he was still Minho’s best friend and someone he did not have one on one outings. However, he decided to go for it.

They were sitting at a coffee shop outside the company sipping on iced americanos and hot lattes.

“How are you holding up?” Hyunjin asked, sipping his iced americano through the straw.

“I am… doing well.” Chan answered, “What about you?”

“I am doing great too.” Hyunjin said, smile radiating on his face.

Chan wanted to ask Hyunjin how _he_ was doing. The last time he saw Minho, he didn't look like he was doing so well.

“Have you… spoken to him?” Hyunjin asked, his eyes casually peering up at Chan, picking up on his thoughts.

“I don’t want to.”

Hyunjin chuckled before he picked up his americano, taking another sip. “You know…it really is not my place to say this…but there was a time I fought with Minho and we didn't talk for like a month.”

Chan leaned against his chair, cocking up an eyebrow at him, trying to ignore the flip his heart made at the mention of Minho's name. “Why?” He asked.

“Well…in college when I met Seungmin, I used to spend all my time with him. Minho was scared…scared he was going to lose me.” Hyunjin said as he smiled nostalgically. “Yes, he could be jealous sometimes and I was mad at him.” He continued, running a hand through his hair that had grown out long.

“Why are you telling me all this?” Chan asked, stirring his latte to occupy his shaking hands with something.

“I am saying, Minho has a reason for the way he is, and that does not justify his mistakes but maybe it could help you understand him more.” Hyunjin paused for a few seconds, collecting his thoughts. “Minho walked in on us kissing one night and he was so mad, he was angry that I didn’t tell him, and I was mad at him too. I told him I couldn’t even ask Seungmin out on a date because my best friend was so against relationships and that I didn't tell him because he would make a big fuss and that I was right. I thought he was being unreasonable, told him some mean things that I wish I didn’t, and we both were hurt in the process. We didn't speak for a while and it was really stupid of us. I should have gone and spoken to him but I was being a bad friend. Minho came up to me weeks later, told me about his problems and his fear and I understood what he actually goes through. He is not a bad person at all.”

Chan snorted as he took a sip from his latte but his voice was kind when he said, "I don't think you are a bad friend, Hyunjinnie."

Hyunjin smiled at him before continuing, “He pretends to not care, but Minho truly cares the most out of all of us. Maybe because he knew the feeling of being alone so he makes sure we don't feel the same way. Once he started warming up to Seungmin, he was such a gem." He paused for a while, chuckling fondly, "And now my heart feels warm knowing they are best friends too. Chan…I know I am asking for too much from you, but I would really appreciate it if you would give him the chance to talk to you. I am not telling you to go after him… let him come to you and explain his side please.” Hyunjin pleaded, a sad smile lingering on his face.

"Hyunjin..." Chan began softly, "You know I really cared about him right?" He looked up at the man as he nodded his head before continuing, "Right now... I really can't explain what I am feeling. I am feeling upset and angry at him for not letting me in, for pushing me away. I am mad at myself for getting into this and for letting it affect me to this extent. I am disappointed at both of us for spoiling something that could have been so good. There are too many emotions going through my mind right now and I really don't know what to do." He sighed in defeat. "It is hard to hate someone who you truly loved. I don't hate him, Hyunjin. But I am scared and I believe it is rightfully so."

“I know…but I had never seen him happier than the times he spent with you.” Hyunjin said, his eyes soft.

Chan could feel his heart somersaulting in his stomach again.

“What if he was happy because he was getting some good sex? He hurt me so many times, over and over again and how could I trust him?” Chan questioned, chewing on his lip.

“I know you two would be able to sort it out. I just want you to know Chan, despite whatever he told you in front of your face, Minho genuinely cared about you.” Hyunjin explained.

“He had a funny way of showing it.” Chan said coldly, fidgeting in his seat, wanting to change the topic away from Minho.

Hyunjin realised that and chuckled, “Sorry, I did not ask you out to tell you how Minho is actually a nice guy. So how is the guy you are seeing right now?”

Chan felt the familiar sense of guilt hit him again, “I am not exactly seeing him…” Chan trailed off, “But he is extremely nice and it definitely is different. I like him but again, too many thoughts in my mind.”

“Chan, you deserve to be happy and you should do whatever it is to be happy.” Hyunjin advised, reaching out across the table to grab his hands. “You know what I find funny?” Hyunjin said as Chan looked up, catching his gaze, “I used to come to the café often, I saw you guys but I never really bothered to talk, but because of one night between two people, we are all one big group now, so I would forever be thankful.”

“Ah… you are so sappy.” Chan said, flushing red as he looked away, squeezing the man’s hand.

Once they were done, they walked out of the shop, embracing the fresh air.

“You know, it is Felix’s birthday coming soon… If you do not want him to come along, let me know.” Hyunjin said.

Chan thought about it for a while, he knew who Hyunjin was talking about and he knew he would be able to handle being in the same room as him. “Let him come.”

It was worth the warm smile that radiated off Hyunjin’s face and the big hug he gave him as they said their goodbyes and left.

* * *

Felix’s birthday was in another two weeks, but the man was already excited about it, coming up with dress codes and hinting at what gifts he would need. The man loved planning everything to the dot and Chan was getting tired being ordered around by him as he was decorating the hall.

“Felix… we still have loads of time, why do you want me to put up the streamers _now_?” Chan complained as he struggled to untangle the two ribbons.

“To see if they go well with everything and then if they don’t, I would still have time to change it!” Felix said looking at him as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.

“You are acting like the president himself in coming down to party, it is going to be only us.” Chan objected, dragging a chair to the corner of the room.

“Excuse me? Felix means perfection didn’t you know that?” Felix hollered from across the room.

Chan sighed, tripping over the party items as he climbed the chair to hang everything up. "I almost died right now, tripping over your stuff."

"Stop being so dramatic and get to work, Channie boy." Felix ordered.

“There better be a lot of booze.” Chan grumbled under his breath.

When the day finally arrived, Chan was at Felix’s house early, doing some final last-minute touch ups and to his happiness and utmost relief, Felix was happy with everything. They sat around on the couch, already starting on some drinks as the others slowly joined them.

Soon everyone was there, including Jeongin who had become a new addition to the group, except one and Chan tried to pretend like he did not care what the man was probably doing. The decorations did look good and Chan was proud of himself, and maybe a little bit proud of Felix too. The doorbell rang just then, and Felix rushed off to open it. He had his back to the door, but he knew without turning his head that it was Minho, based on the shift in his friends’ energy as they glanced at him warily. This was the first time the two had been together properly in a group outing in two months and his heart was betraying him by beating faster even though he kept his expression neutral. Everything seemed familiar yet so painful as Chan could smell the familiar cologne in the air, the one he had gotten so used to, and it was suddenly becoming stuffy in the room.

Minho’s arm brushed past him as he walked past his couch to sit on a chair across from him, sending his brain into panic mode. Chan sipped on his drink, just to have something to do with, as he relaxed.

“Sorry for being late.” Minho said softly and Chan looked up, meeting his gaze.

Minho looked slightly better than he did when he last saw him outside the cafe, when he had kissed Matthew. The red colour of his hair had faded away, leaving it a orangish blonde shade which still looked amazing on the man. He was wearing a plaid shirt over a black tee and the casual look made Minho look even more attractive.

Chan watched as Minho accepted a drink from Felix, settling back on his chair.

“Okay since everyone is finally here, let’s start eating.” Felix announced.

“Would you mind helping me bring the food out, Channie?” the blonde asked, looking over at him.

Chan smiled and got up, following the blonde to the kitchen, and helping him carry the dishes to set on the table.

“You looked like you saw a ghost walked in.” Felix said softly shaking his head.

“Please, I did not.” Chan scoffed, placing everything on to the table.

Felix chuckled, patting Chan on the back before turning serious, “Thank you for allowing him to come.”

“This is not _my_ party. It is _yours_. I really have no right to decide your guest list Lixie.” Chan mumbled. “Now if we are done, I would like to go back to my drink.”

After everything was ready, they all gathered together to eat. The food was delicious as always and Chan realised, he really missed this. Missed hanging out with everyone as a group. He tried to not look at Minho, did not want to offer even a silver of his attention, glad that the man was sitting on the far end of the table.

Once they were done, Chan fell against the couch, making himself comfortable, as he grabbed a bottle of wine and hogged it to himself, pouring himself a glass, zoning out for a while.

He was so busy with his thoughts that he did not hear someone come up behind the couch.

“Are you planning on getting drunk again?” A voice that he knew too well asked him, sending a shiver down his spine.

Chan did not need to look at him to know who it was, and he ignored him.

“Just don’t drink too much.” The voice said again.

“I would appreciate it if you mind your own business.” Chan bit back sharply, downing the whole glass before refilling it again in anger, and cursing him under his breath.

Minho sighed as he went to take his seat again.

Jisung who was sitting next to Chan watched the scene unfold with wide eyes, shrinking back into couch feeling awkward with the situation. "This is not awkward at all..." He said.

“Sorry… I am really trying hard to behave.” Chan whispered to Jisung. The man nodded in acknowledgment; eyes still wide.

Chan felt Minho stare at him, and it made his skin prickle dangerously as he continued sipping his drink, becoming less hyper aware of Minho’s presence the more he drank.

The doorbell rang again, and a huge cake was delivered to Felix, which was a surprise from all of them. Chan watched with an endearing smile, as Felix teared up, cutting the cake, feeding everyone, and then laughing when Jisung smashed Felix's face in the cake.

Felix burst out with laughter, the cream covering his face, as he poked his tongue out trying to lick the frosting off. Chan felt himself loosen up, finding himself in a happy place once again after so long.

Chan was giggling, feeling the effect of an entire bottle of wine hit his system as he went into the kitchen to wash his hands. His head was already feeling dizzy and he took a step back and stumbled, almost losing his balance as two strong hands came out placing themselves on his waist, steadying him.

Chan inhaled a sharp intake of breath at the heat radiating through the hands on his waist and he turned around, staring straight at Minho. They were standing so close, Chan could see the perfect pout of Minho’s lips, could count the number of eyelashes on his eyelid. He could see the way Minho’s intense stare was penetrating through him, and he took a step back, breaking away from the trance.

“Chan…I want to talk to you one day whenever it is suitable for you.” Minho said in a hushed tone.

They were alone in the kitchen, and Chan wanted to get out of there immediately.

Chan let a laugh slip out, shaking his head, “I don’t want to talk to you, not right now.” He muttered, stumbling in his steps as he tried making his way around the man, back to the couch.

“Not right now… you are too drunk for it…but someday please?” Minho asked, his tone pleading as he grabbed onto his hand.

"You just love hurting me don't you?" Chan shot back at him, pulling his arm away harshly, "You really can't stand me being happy? You can't stand that another man could make me happy? If you think I owe you for making Younghyun listen to my song and giving me a chance in his company, you are so wrong." Chan said.

"This has nothing to do with that Chan, that was all you, really, you don't owe me anything." Minho explained, his voice strained. "And I am happy that you are happy, I just want a chance to talk to you."

Chan scoffed, “I am tired of giving you chances.” He said as coldly as he could.

"Chan...we can't keep doing this, we can't keep fighting like this, it is going to affect our entire friends group." Minho pleaded.

"You know... the only reason why I even bother to put up with you now is because of them, if I had a fucking choice I wouldn't want to see you again." Chan finished, and he felt the familiar pang of pain in his heart when he saw Minho's crestfallen look.

Minho took a step to the side, allowing him to leave, and Chan walked past him, plopping on to the couch. Minho followed after a few minutes, sitting next to Chan and wincing as the older man moved away immediately, leaving a space between them.

Minho did not say anything else after that, quietly replenishing his drink and Chan tried to ignore his presence even though it was difficult with the man being right next to him and so Chan starting downing more drinks instead. After Felix had opened the presents from everyone and had thanked them all with watery eyes, they just sat around and chatted.

“What are you guys up to these days?” Seungmin asked, leaning against Hyunjin.

“Well…the same old for me.” Felix said and Jisung and Changbin nodded with him.

He saw Seungmin turn to look at him and Chan realised he was the only one with a new change in his life.

“Well…I love my job now so that is good. Everyone there are so nice and friendly, no one as nice as you though Innie.” Chan said throwing a tender smile at the younger man.

“We miss you, hyung… ok maybe... only I do.” Jeongin laughed.

Chan chuckled as he continued, “I am already working on new songs for a group, so I am really excited, and Matthew seems really nice even though we are not official yet and yeah…I never felt this happy before in a while.” He finished, saying the last sentence out loud purposely as a jab to cause some pain to the man sitting next to him and it did work as he saw Minho flinch.

The others picked up on the energy and Changbin cleared his throat before turning to Minho, “What about you Minho?”

“Still working in my company, except things have definitely become better. I spoke to my father, cleared out certain stuff and he is putting in some effort now.” Chan looked up in surprise at that, knowing very well how estranged Minho’s relationship was with his father. He was happy, Minho finally took the step to talk to him. He was so proud of him and he was almost going to tell him that, stopping himself at the last moment. “There is a long road ahead of us, but we hope the journey will be a good one. I took a break, reflecting on myself, sorting some things out. I feel happy, freer, but I feel like there is something still missing in my life.” Minho finished, swirling his glass around.

“Idiots…ah young love.” Jeongin spoke up suddenly, scrolling through his phone, attracting all the eyes on him. “Oh. Sorry I was talking about my ship in this one idol group.” He said, looking up and smiling mischievously.

Chan rolled his eyes, knowing very well that it was probably not about some fictional ship.

It was never Chan's intention to get drunk, it was a good thing he did not drive here. It was already late by the time they were done, and Chan’s surroundings were getting blurry, already feeling the tiredness wash over him and he wanted to crawl in a corner and sleep. Felix had asked him to sleep over at his place, but he refused, not wanting to seem weak in front of Minho. Also, Jisung was staying back at Felix’s place and he did not want to disturb whatever there could be potentially between them. Felix had asked him if he were sure and tried to convince Chan to stay and Chan denied, deeply grateful to have these kinds of friends in his life.

Chan also felt like he had put too much pressure on Changbin, especially the past few months and he did not want the man to take him home again. He stepped out, inhaling in the cold, crispy night air as he took his phone out and peered at it closely, trying to find out the numbers to dial for a cab.

“Do you need help?” It was _him_ again and Chan was starting to get annoyed that he was everywhere.

“No.” Chan said, stumbling over to Changbin instead and holding on to him for balance. He was beginning to feel sick and wished his head would stop spinning for a minute.

He heard Minho follow him and talk to Changbin, the words were all hushed and Chan could not hear anything other than a few words like ‘trust me’ ‘promise’ ‘I will take care’ and Chan burst out in laughter.

“Trust and Lino don’t go in a sentence.” He said, his sentence was deeply slurred but still understandable and he felt the man tense beside him.

Changbin was now talking to Minho and Chan heard a sentence that sounded like 'if you make him cry again I swear to god Minho' and suddenly there was a shift in the movement, and he felt those familiar strong arms hold him, his first instinct being snuggling into those arms. He was too drunk to care who it belonged to, as the warmth was intoxicating, more so than the alcohol.

The cab arrived and the person holding him struggled to get him inside, sliding in after him. Chan rested his head comfortably on the man, fingertips grazing his thigh, and unaware that the man had become stiff. Just when Chan decided to close his eyes and take a nap, he breathed in the familiar scent and came to the realisation that it was _Minho._

Getting Chan out of the car was nearly impossible, as he started blabbering to the driver that Minho was a kidnapper who kidnapped him and was going to keep him hostage. The driver thankfully did not take note of that as Chan was clearly drunk and laughed at them instead, Minho apologising for the inconvenience caused. Chan made a mental note to leave a bad review for the driver once he had sobered up. 

Minho dragged Chan, who was squirming in his arms, all the way to the elevator, letting him go and the older man lost his balance, falling on to the floor on his ass.

“You always let me down.” Chan chuckled at his own joke and heard a frustrated sigh as he was hauled up again.

Once they reached his door, Minho tried to hold Chan with one arm who was trying to wriggle out of his hold, before struggling to open it and finally entering. Chan got out from Minho’s hold, taking a few steps back, swaying in his steps.

“Why did you bring me here?” He asked angrily.

“You are too drunk to get back home by yourself.” Minho sighed.

“Stop underestimating what I can do.” Chan huffed.

Minho ignored him, walking to the kitchen, and pouring out a glass of water.

“Here drink this.” Minho said, pushing a glass into his hands.

“I don’t need it.”

“You do need it; you need to be hydrated otherwise you will wake up with a horrible hangover.” Minho shot back as Chan’s face melted into a scowl, accepting the glass as he _was_ feeling dehydrated, fingertips brushing against Minho’s feeling the ignition of flames in his stomach even in his drunken state.

Chan allowed the cool liquid to wash down his throat, shutting his eyes to steady his groggy mind, feeling the word spin around him as he realised Minho was near him.

“I want to go home.” Chan said weakly. “I can’t stay here…”

He saw Minho take a step closer to him, and before Chan could move back, the younger man’s hand was on him, his fingers tilting Chan’s chin up slowly, catching his gaze.

It was so unfair how this man was still able to have a massive impact on him as he felt his heartbeat escalate and he felt as if time had stopped.

“I am really sorry, Chan, for everything.”

Chan’s breath fluttered as Minho’s thumb gently traced the contours of the side of his face, staring at him apologetically, before letting him go and stepping back.

“I can go home by myself. Or you could call Matthew, he would pick me up.” Chan managed to whisper, turning to look out from the window.

"Chan...are you over me?" Minho asked, his voice small.

Chan spun around, startled at the question, looking straight into the man's eyes before answering, a slight waver in his tone, "Yes."

"Really?" Minho asked, and his tone was quivering.

"Well...do you want me to lie then?" Chan asked, giving Minho back a taste of his own medicine.

Minho stared at Chan, eyes narrowed and teeth clenched, "Give me Matthew's number then, I will call him to pick you up."

Chan struggled to take his phone out, checking the time and realising it was way beyond 4 am and he didn't want to trouble Matthew, especially since he wasn't his boyfriend or something. 

"Argh. It is okay. I will leave first thing in the morning." Chan grumbled, giving up.

Minho glanced at Chan before heading towards his room, “I will get you something comfortable to change into.”

As Minho went inside, Chan looked around, the feeling of nostalgia hitting him so hard. This was where he had spent most of his time for eight months, they had sex everywhere, from the couch to the table and the bedroom and Chan could feel the sorrow creeping back. He felt the glass slip from his hand and before he could catch it, it fell to the ground, breaking into several fragments. Chan groaned and leaned down without thinking to pick the broken pieces up with his bare hand, hissing in pain as he felt a slight throbbing pain in his hand.

“Chan, what happened?” Minho said as he came rushing into the hall, hearing the crash.

“Oh god, fuck, you are bleeding.” The man cursed as he rushed to his side, using the corner of his shirt to apply pressure on it. Chan stared at the blood dripping from his hand absentmindedly, not able to feel any pain.

“That is going to hurt tomorrow.” He laughed.

“What did you do Chan?” He felt Minho drag him to the washroom, closing the toilet lid, making Chan sit on it.

Chan heard the sound of a cupboard opening and closing and Minho was back with what looked like a first aid box, kneeling before him. Minho picked up Chan's hand gently, inspecting the wound first, before cleaning it thoroughly and applying what smelled like medicine. Minho's touch was like fire and Chan hoped the younger man did not notice the goosebumps that were all over his arm.

Chan stared at the man he once loved, looking extremely distressed as he started dressing the wound up. 

“You know what is funny.” Chan mumbled as Minho wrapped his hand up. “You caused me more pain than this injury.”

“Chan.” Minho said looking into his eyes firmly, his voice a whisper, though it amplified tenfold in the quiet room. “Stop it.”

To his surprise, Chan found that tears had collected in the other man’s eyes, making it shine as he tried to blink them away.

“When was the last time you had been truly happy?” Chan asked, his voice shriveling, as he looked down at Minho with narrowed eyes. Minho became still as he thought about his answer.

“Are _you_ happy?” Minho asked simply, bypassing his question, looking up at Chan. “With that man you met recently… are you happy with him?”

Even in his drunken state Chan could feel those dark eyes on him, trying to pierce through his soul, through him.

“So,” Minho asked, his gaze fixed. “Do you love him?”

"That is none of your business." Chan mumbled avoiding the question, feeling a sudden wave of exhaustion overwhelming his body.

"Did he fuck you?"

"What the fuck is your problem? Are you jealous again?" Chan fired back at him, regretting asking Minho the first question already.

"I am sorry Chan." Minho sighed, shaking his head, pulling himself together, "If you are actually happy with him, you should stay with him."

"I was happy with you, but you didn't let me stay." Chan whispered before he could stop himself.

Minho didn't move his eyes away from him and Chan felt a lump tightening at his throat as he stared back into those intense dark pupils.

“Stop.” Chan said, his tone pleading, “Don’t look at me like that.” 

Minho lips were pressed together tightly, as their eyes latched onto one another, and Chan would always be in awe of how good looking the man actually is.

Chan took a deep breath before continuing, the drunken stupor he had entered still clogging his reactions and choice of words, "I need you to stop giving me these false hopes that you care when you really don't."

"Chan...I don't want to get into this when you aren't in the right state of your mind." Minho said gingerly, his hands lingering softly over Chan's injured hand.

“You were always so good at pretending.” Chan grumbled. "Such a good actor, always pretending."

“I am fucking _not_ pretending!” Minho’s voice reverberated around the washroom, as he stared into Chan’s soul, finally tying up the bandage and he pulled Chan up slowly.

“I am really not pretending, Chan.” He sighed slowly as his tone grew softer.

Minho guided him slowly to his bed, unbuttoning the older man's shirt and removing his pants. Chan started giggling, whispering against Minho's ear, “Are we going to have sex? Weren’t anyone else able to satisfy you like how I did?”

Minho ignored him, as he struggled to pull a tee over Chan’s head, trying to avoid his injured hand. Chan pouted as Minho made him step into a pair of shorts pulling it up.

“Why are you doing this?” Chan asked, breathing in shakily, as the younger’s hand grazed across the silver of his exposed skin at his waist.

Minho gently made Chan lie on bed, tucking him under the covers.

Chan wanted the answer, but the bed was too comfortable, and he felt himself drift away to sleep, missing out when Minho said, “Because I have fallen in love with you.”

Waking up covered in cool sweat, Chan looked around frantically, remembering he had left Felix’s house with Minho. He felt like was swimming in murky water, light at the surface but way beyond reach. His eyelids felt heavy and the edges of his vision were still fuzzy. He recognised the four walls of the bedroom instantaneously, having spent most of eight months in here, falling in love with someone. Hobbling out of the bed, Chan groaned as his head started throbbing and realised, he was in different clothes than the ones he wore for the party. He was never ever going to touch a drink again. He lifted his hand to push his hair back, hissing in pain and noticed that it was dressed up in bandage.

What even happened last night?

Everything seemed the same as the last time he was here which was two months back, maybe the bed covers had changed but other than that it seemed to be the same. Chan took a moment to look around, stumbling over to the dresser at the side. There was a framed picture on the table at the far corner, and Chan picked it up, peering at it blearily, getting hit with shock when he realised it was a photo of himself. Taken by Minho when they went to the park. It was a picture of him sitting by the lake, admiring the scenery, thinking about Minho. This really threw him for a loop as he stared at how _serene_ he looked that time, already falling in love with the man, just not accepting it. He placed it down and walked towards the door, exiting the room.

Minho was sprawled on the couch, still sleeping and Chan watched the way his chest rose up and down with every breath. He had not changed his clothes from the party and there was a dark stain on the corner of his shirt. Chan then went to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water, gulping it down before seeing pieces of shattered glass in the trash. He sighed as he realised, he probably got his hand scratched on the glass.

“Oh, you are awake.” Minho suddenly said, his voice deep with sleep. Chan jumped out of his skin, clearly startled by the man, groaning as his head started aching more. He watched as Minho walked to the bathroom, dragging his feet across the floor and it hit Chan when he noticed just how tired the man looked, like he hadn't slept at all the whole night.

"How is your hand? Is it hurting you?" Minho asked as he stepped out, having washed his face, and brushed his teeth, gesturing towards his bandaged arm, and Chan observed the worried look in Minho's eyes quietly.

"I will survive." Chan said. “Why did you bring me home?” He asked as Minho entered the kitchen and passed Chan a painkiller.

"That is for your headache... and you were drunk, someone had to take you home.” Minho said as he poured out a glass of water for himself.

“And here I was… thinking you cared.” Chan said rolling his eyes, swallowing the pill down.

“Chan, I really don’t want to fight again.” Minho sighed in exasperation.

“Don’t come pining this one on me now.” Chan argued.

“We both need to stop picking a fight just to avoid confronting our emotions!” Minho said, irritation lining his tone.

“Fuck you, maybe you should have said this to yourself two months back.” Chan said spitefully.

“Can we stop doing this?” Minho asked, his hand gripping his glass tighter. “I just want to talk to you, for you to give me a chance. I know I hurt you Chan, I know I am being unreasonable asking you for another chance here but _please._ Just listen to what I have to say and then you can decide for yourself.” Minho’s breathes were coming out in harsh pants as he tried to control his frustrations, the desperation was obvious in his tone. _“Please? Just one chance.”_ Minho caught Chan's eyes and whispered, "You can leave after that and I would never, ever bother you again."

Chan stayed silent, heading off to the bedroom to change back to his clothes as Minho sank on his chair, yanking on the strands of his hair.

As Chan grabbed his clothes, he looked over at the picture on the dressing table again, before making up his mind.

“Next week. Saturday.” Chan said softly as he came back out, trying to button his shirt up with his one good hand.

“Sorry?” Minho said looking up in surprise.

“I will give you a day, for you to explain yourself.” Chan gritted out. “That’s all.”

“Chan…thank you.” Minho muttered, striding towards him, and buttoning up the shirt Chan was struggling with.

Chan recoiled at the touch, not expecting the man’s hand to graze across his exposed skin, eliciting sparks across it.

“Sorry…I just…” Chan began, sighing as he saw Minho’s face display a mixture of emotions – sadness, worry and something else. “I will see you next week.” Chan muttered, spinning around, and heading to the door.

“I can drop you.” Minho called out.

“I don’t need your help.” Chan said, his tone final, but his heart racing like how it always used to in the presence of the other man.

Minho watched the man walk out, his heart heavy yet relieved that, he finally got a chance. This time, he was not going to fuck it up. It scared him dearly, to open up to someone, to let them in and what if he ended up being a disappointment? What if he would not be able to love Chan the way he deserved? The way Matthew could love Chan. Minho decided to push those thoughts aside, these very same thoughts were the reason he kept depriving himself of happiness and he was not going to let that happen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally they are going to talk. *throws confetti into the air and cries*  
> Okay but let's see if they actually talk though because they really aren't good at that sighs.  
> did a little stalking and saw few ppl recommending this fic on twitter and I am so emo ;; thank you for reading <3  
> and thank you for being so patient... this is getting so long hshshshs


	21. Chapter 21

Chan was becoming jittery as Saturday drew closer with every day. He wondered whether it was a good idea on agreeing to let Minho talk to him, and whether he was ready to get hurt once again by the man. Every time he thought there was hope for them two back then, it was always snatched away thanks to the younger man’s aloofness or coldness and Chan had tried so hard to forget him but failed.

Even after he immersed himself fully in his work, Minho would always somehow manage to creep into his thoughts. A day before Saturday, Minho had texted him, saying he would be picking him up and Chan sighed, once again reconsidering the whole thing. He hadn’t told Matthew about him meeting Minho, just informing him that he was not free as he had other commitments.

When Chan woke up the next day, his mind was already overworking itself with theories and how else Minho was going to disappoint him. He wondered if cancelling and backing out was an option as he trudged into the showers, changing into a tight pair of jeans and a black shirt. He stared at himself in the reflection, parting his hair slightly to the side before waiting for the man to arrive and text him.

Just then, his phone rang, sharp and perfunctory, and Chan saw Minho’s name flash. He froze for a while, watching it vibrate before picking it up.

“Chan?” Minho stuttered out, “I am downstairs.”

“Okay.” Chan replied airily, cutting the call.

He picked up his jacket, wallet and phone and headed towards the elevator after locking the door.

Minho was leaning against his car, putting out his cigarette as Chan walked towards him, and it reminded him back to when Minho had first come over to his apartment, looking vulnerable, desperation in his eyes, when Chan knew he was getting into trouble.

Minho was staring at him, his dark pupils averting their gaze as he caught them.

“Where are we going?” Chan asked, not veering his gaze away.

“You will find out…” Minho uttered softly before getting into his car, gesturing at Chan to do the same.

“Is your hand okay?” Minho asked as he started driving.

“Yeah… it was just scratch.” Chan replied not sparing the man a glance.

Minho smelled of cigarettes mingled along with his cologne, and Chan knew the man was just as nervous as him, maybe more. Driving along with someone was different when you are mad at the person. It was quiet among them, and Chan did not even bother to fiddle with the radio station like he often used to before, choosing to stare at the passing scenery outside. They have now passed the edge of the city, heading towards the ocean. They soon reached the beach, where the waves from the ocean were splashing against the rocks and Chan was in awe. He had mentioned once, to Minho that his ideal place for a date was by the ocean but he never expected the man to actually _remember_ it. The sky had a soft pink and blue glow and it made the beach look even more beautiful. Chan had always wanted to go to the beach and he could feel the excitement stirring in his entire being.

Chan followed behind as Minho got out of his car and headed towards the rocks, stepping on them and turning to face Chan who was peering up at him.

“There is a spot up there from where you could get a beautiful view.” Minho announced as he held out his palm, facing upwards, waiting for Chan to grab it.

Chan sighed, as he placed his hand on the younger man’s and allowed him to guide him along the rocky path.

Minho was right though, the view up there was _breathtakingly beautiful._ Minho sat on a large rock, leaving a space beside for Chan, but the older opted to stand, wanting to know what Minho had to say so he could leave already.

“Chan please, sit.” Minho’s voice was strained like overly twisted strings on a violin, and Chan thought he might be too soft as he sat beside the younger man, not wanting to prolong his pain.

For a moment, none of them spoke, the only sound being the waves and the winds rustling the leaves on the sand. Chan was enjoying the view, could feel the peaceful atmosphere around him but knew it was going to be broken in a minute.

“Isn’t this beautiful?” Minho asked, breaking the silence.

“Just tell me what you got to say.” Chan countered.

“Chan…” Minho said as he tilted his body towards him. “I screwed up with somebody who loved me despite my many, seemingly faults. I lost that person out of fear, which is my biggest demon. I know now that the words I used on you were like daggers and my actions were unreasonable. I have no excuses for the way I treated you. It was all my fault. You deserve better, Chan you really do. I called you here just to explain myself because I believe you deserve to hear it.”

Minho ran a hand through his hair hesitantly, stopping to collect his thoughts together, before continuing, “Ever since my mom left me when I was ten, I stopped believing in this word called ‘love’. My father never once paid attention to me or said he was proud of me while my mother?” He chuckled humourlessly, “Maybe she is the reason why I am like this, I was mad, Chan. When I went to school, I saw children running to their mothers and being a happy family together while I had a driver who came and picked me up, took me home where someone will give me some food. I grew up not knowing what a motherly love was. I didn’t know how love looked like, always being greeted by fights constantly between my parents even before my mother left.” Minho paused for a while, his eyes hovering over Chan before moving away, “I know, this is not a reason for me to treat you so badly, but I just get so scared at the idea of falling in love and I can never believe that someone would be able to love the damaged me. I make people around me suffer, that is what I do. I made Hyunjin suffer once because I was so jealous of Seungmin but then I realised I could not lose him, and I _knew_ I would not lose him, but it took me some time to get there.” He chuckled softly, looking ahead at the waves splashing against the rocks.

Chan could feel his anger subsiding into sadness, heart slowly breaking as he listened to Minho pour his heart out. He knew this was a big deal for Minho, and he was surprised that the man was _finally_ opening up and sharing all this with him.

Minho stared down at his nails before continuing, “People don’t stay with me Chan… they only want one of the two things with me, sex or money. I am not used to people _listening_ to me, just people having sex and leaving. I was okay with it too. I never really cared about anyone…until I saw you for the second time in my life that day in the beach party…” He trailed off, chuckling softly, “Did you have _any_ idea how ethereal you looked that day? I was drawn into you. There was just something that made me walk up to you and initiate a conversation. Losing you made me finally realise just how important you are to me and how I actually need you. You changed my life, but I was just too much of an idiot to realise it.”

The earnestness in Minho’s voice was hard to miss and it rendered Chan speechless, as Minho turned to look at him and they stared ceaselessly into each other’s eyes.

“Chan, I was never taught how to love, or shown how to be loved, but with you, I found myself wanting to _learn_. I tried so hard and then my father reminded me one day about how I am a disappointment, how no one was going to love me for who I am, and I am stupid for thinking otherwise, and it was sort of a trigger for me. It became worse when I met Mina and she said the same thing and mentioned how we could just marry each other for the benefit of our companies but see other people. It proved how people don’t love me, and only care when I am of use to them. I was thrown back into my insecurities and took out my aggravations on you which you did not deserve.” Minho’s breath faltered as the tears prick into him as punishment. “I am honestly so scared. Scared that I would not be able to take care of you due to my fears and insecurities. I am scared I might hurt you again even though I really don’t want to, but Chan…god I feel so strongly for you. I couldn’t function properly after you left, all my thoughts were occupied by you and only you. And seeing you with someone else really made me understand just how much I needed you in my life. I know I am probably being selfish. I know you might be happier with him and I want you to be happy Chan. If the person is able to make you happy then I am satisfied because seeing you smile again means more to me than you being mine.” Minho wiped away a stray tear the fell down his cheek quickly as he continued, “Anyways…I am not here to tell you my sob stories. I just wanted to explain myself. We can leave now.” The younger man said, as he moved, getting up and hopping over to stand on a flat surfaced rock.

“You are so stupid.” Chan whispered; his voice hushed as he finally spoke up.

Minho looked down at him in surprise.

“All this while, I _wanted_ to listen to your sob stories, I wanted to be there for you, to help you.” Chan got up, stepping over to Minho, avoiding looking into the other man’s eyes as he felt the pain creep up again. “You think this was so easy for me? This was my first relationship, yes without feelings but my first relationship regardless and I was _so scared._ I wanted you to open up to me, to tell me all these. I thought I was in the wrong all this time, I wanted to help you, but I didn’t know how. No one deserved to grow up like that. This was not your fault at all, everyone deserved to have someone who could show them how to love and you did not get that.” Chan was digging his nails into his arms, pulling his lip into his mouth nervously, “But do you think this is fair? You were so nice to me, you made me believe that you cared for me in a different way, made me fall in love with you and then all of a sudden everything just disappeared and you treated me like shit. But I was still in love with you through all that.” He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to push back the tears. “What if…” Chan continued, wet eyes darting up to Minho, his mouth trembling, “What if the only reason you are missing me right now is because of the sex? I can’t do that anymore and I am scared. How would I know that you would not break my trust again? It scares me so much. Also, _you_ don’t get the rights to tell me who I should choose, I can do that for myself. But tell me _why_ I should choose you who told me constantly how you didn’t have feelings for me over someone who had been nothing but nice and respectful?”

Minho’s face crumpled at that, as he took in a deep breath, “I know, it is going to be a tough road to get your trust back, but I am going to try.” Chan watched as the glow from the sun shaded the right side of Minho’s face as he shuffled on his feet before continuing, “I have been working hard on myself these past few months, I have been thinking and reflecting and I know a lot of things I did were unreasonable but there was one thing I realised. Something, I had been scared to admit, something that I probably felt since the time I saw you at the party but locked it away.” Silence twirled between their latched gazes and Minho looked away for a moment a flicker of fear in his eyes, before meeting Chan’s eyes again, with more certainty.

“I am in love with you, Chan. You are right. I am the biggest coward.”

Chan felt the breath knock out of his body as the wind weaved through his hair, falling away into the endless expanse of blue, his heart rate escalating immediately. Time came to a stop between them. This was what he had been waiting to hear, something he thought he would _never_ hear from the man. _Minho loves him. Had loved him all this while?_

“And it is okay if you don’t love me back anymore. I deserved it. I just had to tell you finally, the thoughts that had been haunting me for a long time. You asked me when you were drunk, when was the last time I was truly happy, and the answer is it was whenever you were by my side. You are amazing Chan, you made me, someone who was so stubborn, understand finally what love actually is.” Minho said, his voice raw and honest and Chan tried to swallow the lump at his throat. “Anyways…we should leave.” Minho mumbled awkwardly, turning around.

“You really are the biggest coward, Lee Minho.” Chan muttered into the air, making the younger man turn around to him sharply.

Their eyes meet, gazes holding onto each other.

“I am not perfect either. And yes, I cannot immediately start trusting you again, but I want to try.” Chan sighed as he closed his eyes and felt the wet warmth of the tears trailing down his face. “It is not fair, not fair for you to come barging into my life just when I thought I was achieving some stability. But, _god,_ Minho… I missed you so much.”

It had been a while since his name rolled out of Chan’s mouth and it felt so weird yet natural. The smile that broke out on Minho’s face was so charming and radiant and Chan felt his heart melt.

“You finally said my name again.” Minho said, his voice hushed.

Chan opened his eyes, huffing at that, “I am still scared, and I don’t know if I am stupid for trusting you again.” He whispered, a potent silence hanging in the air between them. “I just can’t allow myself to fall in love with you again, but I want to be your friend, I want you back in my life… as a friend at least.”

“I know, you have all the reasons to be scared, but I am willing to work hard and make you trust me fully again and until then, I will be your friend Chan. I will support whatever decision you take.” Minho said. "I just want you back in my life, Chan."

Chan noted the sincerity in Minho’s eyes and watched the younger take a step towards him hesitantly, and another step until he was standing close to him.

“I love you.” Minho repeated, the words coming out more confidently now as he raised a hand to brush away every tear drop that had escaped from his eyes, wounding his arms around Chan, holding him tight and engulfing him in his embrace. Chan could feel the smile against his neck and melted into the hug, this was what he had craved for since a long time. Chan burrowed his nose into Minho’s shoulder, inhaling in the familiar scent deeply, finally raising his hands to hug him back. With their gentle, fragile breaths, the world around them slowly comes to a stop, turning peaceful. They fit so well in each other’s embraces like the missing pieces to a jigsaw puzzle.

It was going to be okay.

They will be okay.

The ride back home was eventful, with Chan and Minho catching up on whatever they had missed out on the previous months. Minho had started doing a lot of voluntary work, like helping out in orphanages and working at animal shelters which was why he was always busy.

 _“It keeps my mind occupied and I love helping people out. Plus, in a way it made me more patient and learn more about myself I guess.”_ He had said. _“I think it is shaping me to be a better person, I feel happier doing all this, seeing others happy make me satisfied.”_

Chan spoke about his new job and couldn’t stop gushing about Younghyun and how he was the world’s greatest boss. He left out the interactions with Matthew, not wanting to hurt the other man.

Soon, they reached Chan’s place, Minho parking at the side of the road.

Minho wanted to say more, he wanted to reassure Chan that he would be there for him and he wanted him back, but he knew it was not fair. Chan wanting him back in his life as a friend was still more than what he deserved at this point.

“So…” Minho said hesitating, scratching his head lightly.

“I will see you around?” Chan replied, glancing at Minho quickly.

“Yup…”

“See you then.” Chan said, getting out of the car and walking over to his gate.

Minho watched him, and just when he thought Chan would not look back, the man turned around, smiling at him, and waving before opening the gate and disappearing inside.

This was a step forward alright.

It was hard to just completely forget all the times Minho had been extremely cold to him, to forget all the mean things he had told him but learning about his story, about his past, made Chan care more about him and understand why he was the way he was. It was a conflicted feeling and Chan hated it. After that day at the seaside, they met again, running into each other at the café, smiling at each other politely before Chan said he had to go, have dinner with Matthew. Minho’s smile wavered slightly only for a millisecond, but he composed himself, telling Chan to have fun. 

* * *

Summer arrived, bringing in the sweltering heat and Chan felt the sweat dribbling down his back as he worked on his song. It was difficult when his mind had been completely occupied by one man. The memories they made together over the eight months kept flashing over and over in his mind and it was slowly driving him crazy.

He thought back to one of the earlier nights they had spent together in Minho’s apartment. They were probably two months in their friends with benefits deal. Chan had showered after their usual rendezvous and was sitting by the large window, looking out at the stars, waiting for Minho when the man had walked up behind him asking him why he loved the night sky so much and Chan had told him it made him feel peaceful and dreamy. He told him he felt like he was being transported into a whole new world. As Chan got up to leave, he saw Minho reach out, almost seeming like he wanted to stop him from leaving, but he dropped his hand midway and allowed him to leave. Now when Chan thought about the moment, it felt like Minho wanted him to stay.

Minho confessing to him had thrown Chan into a loop. These were the words he had been yearning to hear for a long time, but with Matthew now in the equation, Chan didn’t know what to do and his thoughts were at a constant battle in his mind. He had a dinner outing with Matthew that night and this was something Chan had always looked forward to. A month had passed by since they had met and there was something so comforting about the man, and Chan often felt his worries vanish away when he was with him. 

They were just laughing over something that happened at work when Chan’s phone buzzed with Minho’s name popping up.

“Hey, just wondering what you were doing.”

Chan texted back quickly, mentioning he was out for dinner and Minho texted back with a simple message.

 _Have fun_ _😊._

“So, you are on speaking terms with this Minho again?” Matthew asked clearing his throat and Chan looked up at him.

“Yeah… We spoke things out and decided on being friends.” Chan explained, placing his phone on the wooden table.

“You spoke to him? As in a one on one conversation? When did this even happen?”

“Around a week back…” Chan answered hesitantly.

“So, when you said prior commitments, they were meeting Minho?” Matthew shook his head disbelievingly and Chan could feel his stomach flipping inside him.

“Do I have to tell you my plans exactly now before I make them?” Chan asked, feeling a little heated up at Matthew's reaction.

“Well…you don’t have to, but I would have expected you to tell me before you meet someone you clearly had a thing with. Can you even be friends with someone you had a history with?” Matthew questioned and there was something in his voice that Chan suspected was jealousy.

“Well we were friends before we were a thing…. actually, it is complicated.” Chan sighed.

It really _was_ complicated. They were friends before the whole friends with benefits deal, but they also fucked before that and Chan didn’t know how to explain it to the man.

"I don't really know about you two, but that day when Minho and you were staring at each other like I didn't exist, there was something there. Like you are just waiting for him to say something and you will go back jumping into his arms." Matthew uttered bitterly.

"If you don't know about us then maybe you shouldn't be talking about it!" Chan gritted through his teeth, his voice strained.

Matthew stared at him steely before sighing, “Let’s go.”

“Matt…”

“Chan please. Let's leave.” Matthew said firmly.

Chan sighed, getting up from his seat and following the man to the car.

The car ride back was quiet, and Chan wished he could say something to ease the silence. He didn’t know what he did wrong now though, but he knew something was upsetting Matthew and it was strange because the man rarely got upset.

Matthew stopped the car at the park outside the café and waited for Chan to get out. Chan turned to face the man, “Matt… what do you want me to do?”

“If I tell you I don’t like you talking to Minho, would you like it?” Matthew asked, staring at him.

“Matt…look he is just my friend now."

"It is just that...it had been a month, yet you don't want to put a label on whatever there is between us but apparently you are friends again with your ex flame." Matthew said, his grip getting tighter on the steering wheel.

"Minho apologised for everything he did and I…I missed him.” Chan whispered, staring at Matthew with guilt.

_And he said he loved me._

“You are too forgiving Chan.” Matthew sighed, and Chan glared at him, his voice rising when he shot back, “You don’t even know what he did wrong!”

“Okay…tell me why you guys fought in the first place then.” Matthew asked calmly but his tone was getting colder.

“I…it is too complicated. We both were being difficult, and it is just too complex and tangled to talk about. Can we talk about something else please?” Chan huffed in annoyance, crossing his arms in front of him. Chan knew he was probably not being fair, and that Matthew deserved to know about Minho, that the reason why Chan was so conflicted right now was because Minho had confessed.

“I need to go somewhere.” Matthew said after some time and Chan glanced at him sadly before getting out of the car.

Chan watched as Matthew drove away before he walked over to the bench nearby, plopping on it and exhaling in annoyance. He breathed in the night air, calming himself down and zoning out into his thoughts. Chan could feel the sadness and tiredness creep into his bones and wished he had someone to talk to at that moment.

Chan lost count of the minutes that passed by when he heard footsteps and a voice calling out -

“Chan?”

Chan looked up in surprise, his heart fluttering, knowing very well who that voice belonged to.

It was Minho, and he was dressed in a black suit, a white shirt neatly tucked into black dress pants, and he looked like he was either going to or coming from a meeting.

“What are you doing here?” Chan asked, moving over so Minho could take a seat beside him.

“I could ask the same about you…Isn’t Changbin inside the café, what are _you_ doing out here?”

“Well…I was just clearing my head out.” Chan sighed. “Are you going somewhere?”

Chan saw Minho quickly glance over his watch, before catching his eyes, “Not now. You look upset about something. Do you want to talk?”

Chan stared at the man before shaking his head, “I don’t think I should be talking to you about this.”

Minho chuckled softly before speaking, “Aren’t we friends? I think you can try me.”

Chan sighed heavily, chewing on his bottom lip, and started playing with his nails, “No, you really are the last person I should be talking to about this.” He said finally.

“Is this about…Matthew?” Minho asked and Chan looked up at him. Minho’s expression stayed neutral, and Chan nodded slowly.

“I think we had a fight and he is upset…” Chan trailed off.

“Well…this might sound hypocritical coming from me, but you should talk to him and clear things out…” Minho cleared his throat awkwardly before continuing, “before you know…it is too late.”

Chan nodded his head slowly, swinging his legs slowly, wondering what Minho would say if he knew the fight was because of him.

“Minho…” Chan whispered, glancing to his side, “I have a question.”

Minho laughed, “Yes, ask away.”

“Is being happy with someone the same as being in love?”

Minho looked up surprised, clearly taken aback and not expecting that question at all. “Well…uhm.” Minho hesitated, his hand coming up to scratch at his hair, “I never really fell in love before…before you. And you make me happy so for me I guess they are the same thing.”

Chan tried to ignore the way his heart fluttered when he heard Minho admit his love again.

“But just because you are happy with someone, doesn’t necessarily mean you love them, right?” Chan asked, more to himself than to Minho.

Minho shrugged, nodding his head, “Yeah I guess so…”

They both sat there, slipping into quietness, the sounds of birds chirping and the distant sound of traffic being the only source of sound. Chan found it strange that they could actually be able to bear to be together in the same space and not fight for once. 

“You know…” Minho said, turning his body towards Chan, “If you want to make up with him, you could probably take him to a nice restaurant like a candlelit dinner or something and apologise?”

Chan’s eyes widened as he looked at Minho bewildered, “For a relationships anti, you seem pretty romantic.”

Minho laughed out loud, the contagious shrill laugh that Chan loved, “I watched a lot of romantic movies okay.”

Chan giggled, and he was starting to grow comfortable in the presence of Minho again. He took a good look at the man sitting beside him, taking in his appearance.

Minho looked breathtakingly handsome in the suit, like it was made specially for him. His hair was styled back with a few strands falling onto his forehead, making him look even more surreal with the moonlight shining on his beautiful features and Chan’s breath caught in his throat as the man turned to look at him again.

“So, are you getting inside the café or should I drop you home?” Minho asked.

“I don’t want to burden you…I can just catch the bus.” Chan replied, breaking away from the eye contact. “Don’t you have to be somewhere?”

“It can wait.” Minho answered, getting up with Chan following behind. As Minho drove over to Chan’s place, Chan noticed that Minho’s phone would keep vibrating over and over again and the man would ignore it.

“So…I was serious, you should try and fix things up with him.” Minho said as they came to a stop at the red light.

“I will try my best…” Chan hummed, staring out the window.

“Don’t do the same mistakes I did, Chan.” Minho sighed as the lights turned green again.

They finally arrived at Chan’s place and Minho stopped his car at the side, turning to look at Chan, “So, are you feeling better?”

Chan smiled at him before nodding his head, “Yes.”

The smile Minho gave him was radiant, and Chan could feel the return of the butterflies in his stomach.

Minho’s phone started buzzing again, and Chan gestured towards it, “You are supposed to answer when someone calls. That is the whole point of mobiles.”

Minho glanced up at Chan quickly before picking up his phone and Chan knew immediately that the man was worried about something. Chan’s hand was on the door handle and he was ready to leave but he was curious to know who was calling him constantly.

_Was it the woman who Minho was supposed to marry or was it someone he started seeing now._

_Was that why Minho was comforting him and telling him to fix things up with Matthew?_

Chan watched as Minho finally answered the call, placing his phone to his ear before mumbling a soft hello.

Chan could hear a man’s voice booming from the other side of the receiver, and it seemed like they were angry about something.

“Yeah. I am sorry I missed it but there was just too much traffic here.” Minho said, his voice hushed as he glanced at Chan again.

Chan stared at him, bewildered.

“Can I talk to you later? I will be there in another 15 mins and I will make up for it.” Minho insisted, massaging the bridge of his nose, looking stressed.

But the man’s voice was rising higher with anger and something about Minho missing out an important meeting and lost opportunities and he shouldn’t be this irresponsible.

Minho sighed, as he allowed the man to continue ranting, “I am really sorry.” He apologised as the man finally stopped.

“Just get here quick Minho.” The voice said before hanging up.

An awkward silence hung over them as Chan cleared his throat, “I thought you didn’t have anywhere else to go. Why didn’t you tell me you had an important meeting?”

Minho sighed, looking everywhere but at Chan, “I drove past the café and saw you sitting there, looking really upset and I just…you looked like you could do with some comforting.”

Chan didn’t know what to say, the fact that Minho even drove past him when he was upset was something that people would foolishly call fate. And Minho actually stopped, came all the way, spoke to him, even dropping him back home, and ended up missing out on his appointment which sounded extremely important. Chan’s heart was thudding against his chest uncomfortably.

"I am sorry." Chan apologised, feeling extremely stressed for the other man.

Don't be" Minho raised his voice, words firm. "Really, it was my pleasure." He said, hand grazing the nape of his neck.

“Thank you.” Chan whispered, before getting out of the car and Minho smiled reassuringly at him before he started driving away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aannnd they finally spoke about things! And I dont think they screwed up this time. Just, it might maybe take some time for Minchan to get together (maybe lol) because Chan can't forgive him immediately but atleast he understood where Minho was coming from and they are friends again! without any benefits this time oops  
> But yeah things kinda changed since now Chan realised Minho was in love with him and that Minho was just a coward....  
> and yeah Minho finding Chan when he was upset and alone was just another one of those minchan are fated to be together things xD  
> sighs my poor babies just deserve to be happy....


	22. Chapter 22

The following day brought in more thoughts, about both Minho and Matthew, and Chan was so conflicted, a raging battle continuously taking place in his mind. He knew one thing for sure, he didn’t want to hurt them, he couldn’t lose them both and he sighed as he realised that might be selfish of him. Chan ran into Matthew the next day at work during lunch and apologised to him quietly. Matthew seemed to be deep in thoughts at first, but then he smiled back at him.

“I shouldn’t have left you out there alone. I am sorry.” Matthew sighed, looking apologetic.

Chan laughed softly, “I am sorry for getting mad at you…”

“If you want, I can drop you home tonight?” Matthew asked gingerly.

Chan nodded, liking the idea of that.

They were now parked outside his apartment, and before Chan could stop himself, he looked into the man’s eyes and asked him if he wanted to come up for some tea.

They didn’t have tea, as Matthew pulled Chan close to him as soon as they were inside and had removed their shoes, kissing him hard, nibbling on his lips until he was granted permission to taste him. Matthew was way too tall, and Chan had to step up on his toes to kiss him back, his hands around the taller man's neck, holding him close to him. It was hot and different compared to when the man had kissed him softly outside the café. Chan couldn’t help but note that it was different from Minho’s kisses too, and he waited for the butterflies to make an appearance in his stomach. The butterflies that somehow were always present whenever Minho was close by. Matthew broke away from the kiss, looking into his soul with lust filled eyes and Chan walked backwards, guiding them to his bedroom. As Matthew continued kissing him, pressing him onto the bed, his hand slipping under Chan’s shirt, grazing over his smooth abs, Chan slowly realised that even though he genuinely liked Matthew, he never felt the same intense emotions he had felt with Minho. Being happy with someone was different and being in love with someone was different.

It was difficult to figure out why Chan just couldn’t love Matthew, who was a great man, dependable and sweet and a person who might do anything for him. His relationship with Minho on the other hand, was a roller coaster ride, but he enjoyed it. Every touch, every word, and every breath sparked something in him, bringing out his deepest emotions. Yes, they had fought multiple times, Minho had hurt him deeply but now he knew the younger man's story, he knew that Minho wasn’t faking his emotions for him and that made everything more complicated than it already was.

With Matthew, it was always more friendly, more subtle, and he really liked the man whilst with Minho, Chan caught intense feelings quickly within weeks. Maybe he was attracted to Minho because he wanted to figure the man out, wanted to fix him. He loved Minho with a passion that was fire burning red, a fire he thought had died down, but he was wrong. With this knowledge, he knew he wasn’t being fair to Matthew, this man here, deserved someone better, someone who hadn’t foolishly given their heart to someone else.

Chan gasped out loud as he pulled away from Matthew, bringing his knees close to his chest and rocking on the bed, trying to not burst down into tears as he suddenly felt overwhelmed.

“It is not fair.” Chan mumbled to himself, rocking back and forth.

“Channie…are you okay?” Matthew asked gently, moving closer to the man to comfort him. “Am I going too fast? It is okay, I could leave now.”

Chan felt the tears betray him at that. It really was not fair that Matthew was this understanding, this sweet, and yet he could only think about Minho.

“No…I am sorry Matthew, but I am not being fair to you.” Chan finally said, his breath coming out in a sob. “I really like you, I do, but I can’t do this. It is not fair for you.”

“Chan… what are you saying?” Matthew asked, his tone dripping with concern. “Is this…is this about Minho?”

Chan’s heart did a somersault at the mention of the name and he inhaled a sharp intake of breath, confirming Matthew’s question.

“You said it wasn’t serious…that I didn’t have to worry about him.” Matthew recalled. “Oh god, you are in love with him, aren’t you?” He whispered, his usually relaxed demeanor vanishing with every second. “You lied… were you two in a relationship? Was I your rebound? Or were you using me to make him jealous?”

“It isn’t anything like that!” Chan pleaded, not wanting to hurt the other man, someone who was important to him, wanting to save this relationship but he felt helpless as he watched the man shrink right in front of his eyes, “I really like you Matt…I wasn’t using you in any way. It is a long story, but Minho and I were basically friends with benefits, and we weren’t supposed to develop feelings for each other but…” He stuttered as he tried to find the words to say, “but…I ended up falling in love with him and we… it ended horribly. He didn’t love me back…or I thought he didn’t.” Chan paused to catch his breath, avoiding Matthew's eyes, “But he confessed that he loved me too just recently...”

Matthew sat back on the bed, his face crumpling and visibly deflating, and Chan hated himself, for hurting him as he dug his knees closer to his chest.

“He said he loved you and you didn’t bother to tell me.” Matthew whispered, “I told you it felt like you were waiting for him to say something and you would go back jumping into his arms and I was right, wasn’t I?” He continued dolefully.

“Matt… I am so sorry.” Chan wept feeling horrible that he had to cause someone else pain.

“Chan…” Matthew began, “You don’t have to feel sorry. We weren’t dating or anything.” He said and his voice was icy. “I mean…yeah I really liked you and of course I feel like I could have taken better care of you Channie, but the heart wants what it wants right?” He finished, a bitter smile tugging at his face.

“Matt… I know I am being selfish, but I want to be friends with you. You really helped me through a tough time, and I don’t want to lose you.” Chan looked up at him and is heartbroken at the mixture of sadness and pity on the other man’s face. “He said he loved me, and…I am so confused.”

“Channie…” Matthew’s voice was filled with pain, “Tell me something, if you knew me before you knew Minho…would things be different?”

Chan looked into the man’s eyes for a while, before nodding his head sadly, knowing very well that maybe Matthew could have been the one if he hadn’t met Minho. Maybe, this meant it really was written in the stars for Chan to be with Minho and vice versa.

Matthew sighed before continuing, “I liked your company, and maybe we could still be friends, I don’t know but I can’t guarantee you that.”

Chan closed his eyes, feeling the tears fall down and there was a hand on him, wiping them away gently.

“Argh I hate that I can’t stand to see you this upset.” Matthew chuckled as he continued wiping the tears away. “There really is something about you Channie. Minho is one lucky bitch.”

Chan smiled a watery smile hesitantly, opening his eyes and apologising, “I am sorry... losing you is not what I wanted.”

“Again, stop apologising, have you seen me? I can get any man or woman I want.” Matthew boasted confidently but Chan could see that the man was trying to cover up his emotions. “Thank you for making this month fun for me, Chan. I hope you find your happiness because you deserve it.” The man said sadly, as he stepped out of the room, and Chan heard the door close before he pulled the covers over him. He was surprised at the attachment to Minho, just when he thought he was ready to move on. But he knew he needed him, and he didn’t want to be without him.

* * *

Chan still hadn’t told his friends about Minho’s confession, preferring to deal with that on his own, knowing that this was between them two and he didn’t want to drag his friends in into this tangle of webs they had woven for themselves. But he did tell them that he had a long talk with Minho and they were both friends again, and updated them about the whole incident with Matthew, leaving out some details and just mentioned that he was fond of him but he wasn’t feeling any strong emotions for the man and couldn’t keep dragging him along.

"Friends?" Jisung asked incredulously. "Really? You think that is what is there between you two? Friendship?"

"I just want him in my life for now." Chan sighed wistfully. 

“This was sudden, I thought you were happy with Matthew?” Changbin asked, his eyebrow raised as if he knew Chan was hiding something.

“I was happy, but I just don’t want a relationship with him, and it seemed like he was more into it than I was, and that wasn't fair for him.” Chan explained, before sighing sadly, “Maybe I am just not meant to love _and_ be loved.”

Felix patted him on his shoulder reassuringly, “Or maybe fate already decided upon someone for you but it is taking a long time to get there.”

“Life would have been easier if I had met Matthew first.” Chan agreed softly, his hand pressing onto his forehead, feeling it throb with pain.

“Well that is life for you. It is never that easy.” Jisung said, his eyes flickering over to Felix before looking at Chan.

“A year back if you told me I would end up getting my heart broken, _and_ breaking someone’s heart, I would have laughed at you. Isn’t it funny how I have two failed relationships and they weren’t even proper relationships.” Chan exhaled the deep breath he was holding in, wondering if Matthew was alright. He missed the man. Matthew hadn’t texted him after that day and he knew that even though he wished they could be friends, he had to give the other man some time.

“This isn’t your fault Chan, you always put others before you. Now you really have to do what makes _you_ happy.” Jisung said.

“It is strange though, that as soon as Minho became your friend again, you ended things with this guy…did anything else happen Channie?” Felix asked, his gaze piercing into his soul.

“No…but it did make me think about a lot of things.” Chan said, his voice low as he felt a wave of sadness hit his body. “I think I should just be alone forever.” He said dejectedly. “Anyways I feel like I have been burdening you all with my guy problems, how have you been?” Chan asked his friends, looking around at them.

He noticed Felix and Jisung shifting awkwardly in their seats and he knew then, something was up with them.

"What is up with you two?" Chan asked, looking pointedly at their direction.

He saw Felix throw a glance at Jisung, who was avoiding his eyes, before sighing and answering, "Nothing really."

Chan knew he was lying, being best friends for so long made him understand their actions and he knew he shouldn't be forcing whatever was going on between them out. Maybe one day when they were comfortable, they would finally tell them what was going on.

“You were never burdening us, Channie.” Changbin said gently, “You have been through a lot this past year and stop thinking that it is a burden for us. We love you and you deserve someone in your life.”

Chan smiled at them weakly, once again, forever thankful to have these three in his lives.

Somehow the word flew around among their group that Chan was no longer with Matthew as Minho suddenly started texting him more regularly.

Minho’s texts would be more constant, and sometimes Chan wouldn’t reply back to him, not wanting to get attached quickly like he got before. If someone asked him who Minho was to him right now, Chan wouldn’t know what to say exactly. They were friends but he knew they would also never be just friends. There was a spark between them that kept growing into a flame, consuming them both.

Since everyone was too busy with work and with their own lives, their group weren’t able to meet properly for quite some time and they decided to organise a movie marathon sleepover. They might be too old for sleepovers but at the same time, it sounded fun. Minho was invited as well and Hyunjin offered to pick them all up in his huge van, before they all head off to his place, which was big enough for all 8 of them.

Chan packed his bags with the necessities and his most comfortable set of pajamas which was basically shorts and a tank top. He waited for Hyunjin outside his apartment, getting into the van and noticed Minho wasn’t there yet. He sat next to Changbin, and the man whispered to him, “We are picking him up in the end, he is volunteering at an orphanage.”

“I didn’t ask. I didn’t want to know.” Chan said, keeping his voice calm.

“Sure, you didn’t.” Changbin said, a smirk tugging at his lips.

After everyone else had gotten in, Hyunjin stopped outside the orphanage. “Can someone go and call him?” He ordered, looking over his shoulder at them.

“Chan hyung…you are sitting closest to the door.” Jeongin quickly said, tapping his shoulder from the back and Chan wanted to throttle the boy.

He groaned as he got out, walking inside the building, where he was greeted with the sight of kids running around everywhere. Chan looked around at the loud shouts of the kids that were playing with each other, toys scattered everywhere in the colourful room and saw _Minho_ sitting in the middle of the room, two kids sitting on his lap while another one clinging onto his back as Minho taught them how to draw.

Chan’s heart melted at the sight, as he stood by the corner quietly, watching Minho smile at the kids and hold one of the little boy's hands, guiding him gently through his drawing, complimenting him. He observed how good the other man was with the children, and what Hyunjin had told him earlier played back in his mind.

_"Maybe because he knew the feeling of being alone so he makes sure we don't feel the same way"_

Minho didn't experience love from a mother or a father when he was young, yet there he was, playing and teaching the kids, showering them with his love, making sure they weren't alone in this world.

Chan felt himself get a little emotional and he cleared his throat, getting ready to call out to the man.

“Minho.”

Minho looked up, startled as he saw Chan waiting for him.

“Oh…Chan? Wait I am almost done.”

Chan gestured at him to take all the time he needed as he scrolled through his phone, trying not to pay attention to the cutest, most heart-warming scene unfolding before him. Minho was finally done, getting up and one of the kids came running to him, pulling him down by his arm and kissing him softly on the cheek, before waving goodbye and Chan tried to stifle his smile.

“How come _you_ are here to call me?” Minho asked smiling, as they exited the building together.

“I was seated closest to the door.” Chan answered, shrugging, and trying to ignore the look of disappointment on Minho’s face.

They soon reached Hyunjin’s apartment and it was huge, decorated grandly with paintings hanging on the walls. There was a huge chandelier hanging from the middle of the room, making the apartment seem fancier than it already was. There was a large television covering up one of the walls, and Chan couldn’t help but stare in awe. Minho’s apartment was grand too but his wasn’t decorated this lavishly and was more modest compared to Hyunjin’s.

Chan placed his bag in a corner before sinking into the comfortable couch, next to Changbin and resting his head against him.

He watched Minho walk past him, sitting on a couch on the other side of the room. Hyunjin and Seungmin were in the kitchen, digging out snacks and drinks and loading the table with them. The atmosphere was calmer, less awkward compared to the time Chan and Minho were in the same room during Felix’s birthday. He watched as Jeongin dropped to the floor, grimacing as Jisung laid on top of him.

“Get off me.” Jeongin grumbled, attempting to pry Jisung off, who threw him a peace sign and continued to lay on him and Jeongin gave up after some time.

They proceeded to binge watch the entire Conjuring Universe movies, and Chan’s eyes kept flickering over to Minho, to see what the man was up to. There would be times their eyes would meet, and Chan would quickly glance away, pretending nothing happened. It was fun watching his friends, himself included, flinch and shout out loud at all the jump scares, and the only person who was able to watch the movies without even getting the least bit scared was Minho, and Chan found that fact made the man more attractive.

_Argh you are whipped, Bang Chan._

At one-point Hyunjin got tired of the horror movies, insisting that he was just bored and definitely not scared when he got booed, and decided to surf through various movies on Netflix, sighing in disappointment as there was nothing good on them.

“Can you just choose one already.” Seungmin complained, getting tired of the man’s pickiness.

Hyunjin finally picked a rom-com movie, pressing play.

Chan didn’t really like rom-coms, they were always about a couple that seemed like they would never get together but somehow towards the climax, things miraculously fell into place and they ended up together. Very unrealistic. He was slumped against Changbin, and the man’s fingers were threading into his hair, soothing him.

The movie was now playing a scene where the two main characters kiss for the first time, proceeding to have sex and Chan couldn’t stand to watch it, reminding him of his experience with Minho, finding himself miss it strangely. He got up quietly and moved into the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water as he leaned against the wall.

Jeongin walked in a few minutes later, his foxy eyes serious as he stared at him. “You look tired.” He said, his voice filled with concern.

Chan did feel tired, maybe not physically but mentally. He was tired of the way his heart constantly craved for a certain man like an addiction. He was tired just like how he felt when he decided to end things with Matthew, knowing very well his heart was occupied by a certain man.

“I am okay.” Chan said finally, “Just a little thirsty maybe.”

“You also look sad.” Jeongin mentioned, his eyes piercing into his soul.

“Innie.” Chan said, pausing for a bit, “I promise, I am okay.”

Chan washed his glass in the sink before squeezing the younger man’s shoulder gently and walking back to his spot in the couch.

Seungmin called it a night when Felix dropped off the couch, sleeping. They got ready to sleep in the living room itself, placing the many mattresses Hyunjin owned, and blankets and pillows on the floor. It was chaotic at first and someone threw a pillow at someone and it lead to a pillow fight with one of the pillows actually tearing apart and messing up the room with feathers and torn cotton.

Hyunjin started shouting at everyone and ordered them around to clean up, Chan took this moment to slip away into an empty room, changing into the clothes he brought with him, wondering now if they were too exposing as he stared at himself in the large mirror. He opened the door and went out, the chaotic scene outside was slowly subsiding down and Jisung suddenly called out for everyone's attention. Chan leaned against the wall in the corner, looking at Jisung as he was telling everyone to shut up.

"So, I got something important to say..." Jisung began, his eyes shifting nervously around them all. "It got something to do with someone who had made me happy ever since I was a child, but only realising recently that maybe...my feelings for him were more than just friends." 

Chan straightened up slowly, wondering if it was about what he thought it was going to be and his eyes wandered, finding Felix standing a few feet away, his eyes fixated on Jisung and his mouth open in shock.

"Anyways...I don't know how to say this romantically, but I just wanted you all to know that Lee Felix, is no longer out for grabs as he is taken by me." Jisung announced, raising his glass of water up dramatically before gulping it down.

"That was the most romantic confession I had ever received." Felix groaned, his face red with embarrassment as he walked up to Jisung, pulling him into a gentle kiss as everyone around them cheered. Chan felt the happiness surge through his veins, as he watched his two best friends break away from the kiss, gazing into each other's eyes with so much love. Finally some good news. Who knew how long were they hiding it for, or what had happened between them and he felt guilty that he hadn't even asked them about it. Chan walked up to them, flinging himself onto them and hugging them both, "I was rooting for you two." He said, smiling at them both tenderly, "Why didn't you idiots tell me about this before?" He asked.

"Chan..." Felix said, turning to look at him, "Honestly, we were confused too. It is weird when you develop feelings for someone you had been friends for way too long you know? And we had to be _really_ sure, like a 101% sure, otherwise it could ruin the friendship, not only among us two, but this group." The blonde glanced over at Jisung before looking at Chan again, "Plus you had a lot on your plate, I didn't want our problems to burden you too."

Chan's heart sank at that, feeling the familiar surge of guilt shooting through him. He was too occupied with his own life that he had failed to notice his own friends' problems. Chan watched as Jisung and Felix stared at each other with heart eyes and he suddenly felt an intense burst of loneliness. He turned away, his eyes catching the sight of Minho who was standing alone at the side, looking at Felix and Jisung exchange a hug, watching everyone pat their backs, congratulating them, and Chan wondered if Minho was thinking what he was thinking.

_This could have been us, but we had to be stupid._

Chan couldn't stop staring at how the light from the chandelier filtered behind Minho's silhouette making him really look like a statue. He stifled his breath as Minho looked up slowly, catching his gaze and time once again stopped. Chan didn't look away, nor did Minho, his eyes firmly fixated on his, and it was like torture, unable to move or escape from Minho's intense stare, feeling himself being pulled into Minho's orbit. He watched as Minho's eyes broke contact, slowly raking over his body, lingering over his exposed thighs for longer than necessary before looking up again and Chan felt himself being absorbed directly into the darkened irises of Minho's eyes.

The moment was broken as Jeongin started groaning, "Does this mean I have only Changbin as my ticket to get out of the single life?"

The room burst into laughter and Chan shook his head, to break himself out of the trance and turned away, feeling his throat getting dry.

"You aren't that lucky enough to get me has your boyfriend, Innie." Changbin teased, pushing the younger boy away.

As everyone started dragging their mattresses to a desired spot, to sleep, Chan found a secluded corner and brought his mattress over, lying down and fluffing up his pillow to make it more comfortable. There was an empty space beside him, which was then occupied by a pair of feet.

Chan looked up to find Minho, staring straight at him.

“Is this spot taken?”

“There are spaces everywhere in this big ass room, why are you coming here.” Chan asked him, furrowing his eyebrows.

Minho sat down slowly next to him, “I prefer to sleep here.”

Chan sighed as he turned his body away from the man, pulling the covers over him as he tried to sleep.

The room looked more creepy and ominous with the lights switched off now and Chan was regretting watching all the horror movies as every tiny noise made him jump.

“Chan…” Minho breathed his name out softly and Chan felt the goosebumps arising all over his skin.

Chan wanted to ignore him, he really wanted to. He knew he said he wanted Minho back in his life as a friend but what would one do when you knew someone could never be just a friend to you.

He slowly turned around, facing Minho, staring silently at him, and waited for him to continue speaking.

“I missed you.” Minho said finally.

“Well… we will have more group outings soon so you would see me more often.” Chan said matter of factly.

“No.” Minho sighed, inhaling in a deep breath, “I missed you as in…you. Being with you, laughing with you and holding you.”

Chan felt the shock waves running through his body as he tried to steady his racing heart, “Let’s not… let’s not get into this now.” He said in a hushed tone.

“Why did you leave Matthew?” Minho asked, his eyes never leaving Chan’s.

“Go to sleep Minho.” Chan said, as he turned to lie on his back and closed his eyes, trying to put an end to the conversation.

“I will wait.” Minho continued. “I promise you that you don’t have to be afraid and I will love you and heal you from your pain.”

Chan swallowed the lump that was forming at his throat, wanting nothing better than to throw himself on to the man, to feel his warmth again, but he was still haunted by the memories and maybe he needed a little more time. He listened to the sound of Minho’s slow breathing, trying not to think, to just relax but he knew it was hopeless as his mind was still reeling.

What would happen now? All this time, he had been waiting for Minho to confess, which he did. He had left Matthew because he knew it wasn’t fair to be with someone who he wouldn’t love as much as they loved him. So, now what? Where did this leave Chan? _Them?_

Chan was scared, he knew it affected him a lot when he left Minho that day, when Minho had let him go. If anything, it increased his fear of losing someone, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to go through that again and he breathed in shakily, feeling emotional as he replayed the memory of their fight again, the feeling of loneliness coming back and hitting him at full force.

He felt a tear betray him, falling down his cheek and felt his throat clenching. Chan hated showing his weakness like this but lately his walls had been torn down and he inhaled a sharp intake of breath as he felt a hand on him, wiping the tear away, and his heart was beating an unsteady rhythm like a broken drum. Chan didn’t want to open his eyes. He didn’t want to look at the man next to him, the same man who had hurt him so deeply, was here being so gentle. The silence of the room was buzzing into his ears, interrupted by their shallow breathing, Minho’s hand still gently caressing his face. He finally pulled away and Chan felt strangely comforted by the wavering staccato of their matching heartbeats.The tension in the air between them was so thick that it was suffocating.

_I don’t want to feel like this anymore._

Why couldn’t things be simpler? Or were things actually simple and they were the ones complicating it even more?

“Chan…” Minho breathed, his voice quivering like the unsteady draw of a bowstring, “I really can’t bear to see you cry again, I am sorry.”

Chan swallowed painfully, shaking his head as he tried to speak, “I am just being ridiculous here, it will be okay.” He finished, turning his back to Minho, hoping the man would just go to sleep now while he tried his best not to break.

Trying to understand Minho was difficult, but Chan knew now it was harder for the younger to portray his emotions. Maybe Chan could help him. Chan _wanted_ to help him. Maybe it was time to finally trust Minho again, end the pain and suffering that both of them were going through. Fill up the emptiness that was like a gaping hole in his heart. He believed Minho only used him for sex all this while, believed that all the moments where he felt like Minho cared for him previously was a lie fabricated in his mind. Chan wanted to give his heart back to the man, hoping he would be able to keep it safe this time, not breaking it into a million pieces like he had done before.

When Chan opened his eyes again, the room was warm and noisy, filled with voices shouting at each other from different corners of the room, lit up a little bit by the morning sun shining in through the large window. He groaned as he rolled onto his stomach, using the pillow to cushion away the noises.

“Good morning sleepyhead.” Felix chuckled, bending down to gently stroke Chan’s messy dark hair. “Breakfast is ready.”

Chan grumbled as he turned around, noting the space beside him was empty and his eyes automatically searched the room, looking for a specific person.

“He is in the washroom.” Felix said, knowing immediately who Chan was looking for, “You too, should go wash up and get ready.”

Chan got up, stretching until he heard the popping of his joints and rummaged in his bag, getting his towel, toiletry bag and clothes out and headed off slowly to the washroom that was by the end of the hallway.

He waited outside the closed door, leaning against the wall, as he waited patiently, yawning and rubbing his eyes wearily. The door opened and a steam of hot air came rushing out the door followed by Minho stepping out, pants hanging loosely on his hips and a sleeveless grey shirt in his hands. Minho stilled in his steps as he saw Chan, standing outside and Chan suddenly felt wide awake.

Chan’s eyes wandered all over his body, following the beads of water on the man’s tanned abs, up until he met the man’s dark eyes, holding the eye contact for a good long ten seconds before Minho smiled at him, throwing on the shirt, murmuring a good morning and walking past him.

Chan didn’t realise he was holding his breath until Minho had walked away, letting it out before getting into the showers quickly.

_Yup. They could never be just friends._

Chan walked into the kitchen after he was done with his shower, hopping onto a seat by the table next to Jisung.

He observed Minho who was standing by the stove, helping Felix with the cooking. Minho looked really good in sleeveless shirts and the brownish golden shade of his hair made him look even more attractive and he felt heat creep up his face as he saw how thick Minho's arms were and how it felt good holding on to them when Minho was thrusting into him.

Chan wanted to take the empty plate that was before him and smack himself with it until he could squeeze some sense into his brain.

Breakfast with his friends was fun, from Jisung and Hyunjin fighting over the last pancake which ended up being eaten by Changbin when they weren't looking to Jeongin suggesting they all do the detention dance from The Breakfast Club and getting shot down for being ridiculous.

After they were all done eating, they were getting ready to leave when Minho walked up to Chan.

“Chan…are you free next Saturday?”

Chan looked up confused, wondering why the other man was suddenly asking him this.

“I think so…” Chan answered, shrugging.

“I want to take you somewhere…if you are okay with it.” Minho said, shifting on his feet nervously.

“Where?”

“You will know when we get there.” Minho said, looking at him with anticipation.

Chan thought about it for a while. Going out with Minho? Just the two of them?

“Are you tricking me into a date Minho?” Chan asked suspiciously, examining the other man.

Minho laughed, the sound echoing off the walls and melting Chan’s heart in the process, “No…but it could be a date if you want it to be a date.”

Chan found his lips move up into a smile unknowingly.

“Maybe I will decide that depending on how the day ends.” Chan said.

Minho’s face lit up with happiness, and he chuckled softly, “I will pick you up in the evening then.”

Chan watched as the man turned around and hopped over to Hyunjin, pulling him into a headlock and messing with his long hair as the man whined and struggled to get away.

Their happiness was just a reach away.

* * *

The weekend came rolling by quickly and as Chan opened the car door and slide into the passenger’s seat, he was greeted by a smiling and cheerful Minho. The younger man’s dark circles were slowly fading away and he really looked better than he did the past few weeks. Chan thought about how Minho had said he was the happiest when he was with him and felt his stomach flip.

“Where are we going Minho?” Chan asked and Minho just smiled telling him it was a surprise. Chan tried begging and pleading but Minho was stubborn, so the older man gave up, crossing his arms in front of him and sulking, ignoring the other man.

The route seemed familiar and soon Chan saw that they were actually headed over to the park they had gone before, the time Minho wanted to test out his new camera, the time it had started raining.

“What are we doing here?” Chan asked in surprise.

Minho turned the car into the parking lot, parking it and getting out, pulling his bag out from the backseat.

“Minho I am not getting out until you tell me what we are doing here.” Chan huffed.

The younger man chuckled as he closed the door, not answering him and started walking away and Chan sighed in defeat, getting out and following suit.

He followed the man for a while until they reached the shelter they had been standing under when it had started raining.

Minho turned around to face him, beaming at him. “I just wanted to revisit the place where I had the bestest day ever.” He said, laughing as his eyes crinkled up into half-moons and Chan felt himself soften up.

Minho stepped up into the shelter, sitting at the bench there and motioning Chan to join him.

Chan sat next to him and welcomed the comfortable silence that floated around them for a while as they breathed in the fresh crispy air in.

“This was when I realised.” Chan said after a while, leaning against the bench.

“Realised what?” Minho asked.

“Realised that maybe I should pay more attention to my stupid heart and that I was probably falling in love with you.”

“Probably?” Minho chuckled.

“Okay mostly falling in love.” Chan sighed.

“Things could have been so easy if I hadn’t been an asshole.” Minho spoke softly.

Chan took a moment, watching Minho quietly before speaking, “I think the problems we face in any relationship makes it seem more genuine, more valuable, doesn’t it? Hardships make the whole thing more worth it. If things had been that easy between us or between anyone else, then maybe we or they wouldn’t have appreciated it that much.” Chan said, glancing at the man.

Minho turned to look at him in awe, “You seriously are a poet, Channie.” He said, sounding really impressed.

“I am not…” Chan trailed off, turning red with the compliment and Minho found it endearing.

“Anyways, follow me.” Minho said, getting up and holding out a hand for Chan.

Chan stared at the outreached hand for a while before finally taking it, allowing Minho to lead him away. They walked for some time and it was starting to get dark, but Chan was thinking about his hand in Minho’s. He was thinking about the way Minho’s fingers were intertwined with his. They soon reached the lake and Minho let go off his hand, opening his backpack and removing a blanket.

“Seriously what are we doing here Minho?” Chan asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

Minho unfolded the blanket and threw it on the grass, lying on it.

“We are going to do some stargazing.” He said and Chan at that point felt like he could melt into the grass.

He dropped down next to Minho, staring at the man’s perfect face, “Why are you doing all this?”

“I listen to you Chan, and I want you to be happy.” Minho said, his eyes flickering over to him before moving away.

Chan scrunched up his nose, before lying down, staring up at the night sky. Minho doing all this proved that he had actually cared about Chan, despite all his fears, Minho had cared enough to still remember all his favourite kinds of dates and this was something Chan would always hold close to his heart and cherish forever. The moon was full, shining bright up in the dark sky and Minho chuckled softly.

“When I saw you for the second time in my life, at the party that night, the moon was shining like this.” Minho recollected fondly. “Maybe I already fell for you back then and I was just too stupid.”

“What can I say… I am irresistible.” Chan murmured shyly, not used to this Minho.

Lying there, just the two of them, staring up at the stars was something Chan would expect to occur only in his dreams. If anyone had told him he would be here with Minho back then, he would have laughed at them. They must have spent hours there, just talking their hearts out, acknowledging how they were both at a better place right now, compared to when they were here last time, screaming in the rain about their problems.

“My dad is actually putting in some effort, he called Mina and told her to find someone else.” Minho admitted. "I wasn't expecting him to actually listen to me, but we are just trying to work hard to fix our broken relationship, slowly."

“I am so proud of you for finally talking to him Minho…” Chan said gently. "I know it must have taken so much effort and energy." 

“And I am so proud of you for finally applying and getting into a prestigious company. Younghyun told me that you are the most talented man he had ever met and I agree with him strongly.” Minho answered, smiling at the older man, watching the tips of his ears turn pink before continuing, “You know… I still get scared.” He admitted softly. “I mean I know and acknowledge my feelings for you but this insecurity I have would always stay with me.” He breathed slowly, staring up at the stars and embracing the feeling of calmness and warmth.

“It is okay to be scared Minho, I am scared too.” Chan whispered, “We could help each other get through our fears. Isn’t that what we are here for.”

Minho chuckled lightly, agreeing with him. Chan had not told him he loved him yet, and even though Minho tried to not let that affect him, he always felt like someone was tugging at his heartstrings mercilessly, and it was nagging at him. He knew Chan was in love with him at one point, and that he was giving him a chance, and willing to accept him back into his life, but did he still love him?

Minho knew it was not fair, especially considering how badly he treated the older man and he should be even lucky that Chan was here, lying next to him, and putting in effort.

“Why do you have a picture of me from the park on your dresser.” Chan asked suddenly, dragging Minho back from his thoughts, startling him. He forgot that Chan would have been able to see that picture on his table.

“You made my heart feel a sort of a way that day.” Minho said finally, and Chan felt the butterflies flapping their wings in his stomach again, and he wished they would just disappear as it was making him feel queasy. "When I saw the picture the first time, I didn't know why but I had to get it framed and looking at it every morning gave me strength."

Chan didn't know what to say to that and he continued staring at the moon nervously.

“Do you think I deserve to be happy?” Minho asked softly.

“Minho…of course you do.” Chan answered.

“Chan…” Minho sighed breathlessly, turning to look at the older man, “I will always be upset over the way I treated you. It was not fair at all, and I just can’t forgive myself. I know I am broken, and I ended up breaking you in the process and all broken things have cracks and marks all over them even after fixing. Even though I am working hard to move on from the past, and to appreciate the present more, I feel like I cannot be fixed fully, and I am so sorry for all the pain I had caused you.”

Chan looked up at the man, his heart hurting at how desolate Minho’s tone was, but also feeling happy that Minho was feeling more comfortable to open up, was trusting him more.

“Yes, broken things do have cracks and marks, but that makes them more _real_ and _beautiful._ It proves how brave they are for surviving and that they are strong.” Chan said slowly, smiling at Minho tenderly. “If we hear with our hearts, we could heal the invisible wounds and the cracks and hope they could be reduced to scars that would fade with time.” He reached out a hand, intertwining his fingers with the younger man, squeezing it as a reassurance, before removing it.

“How do you know all the right things to say?” Minho chuckled, looking up at the night sky. “You are one of a kind, Channie.” He sighed happily as he continued, “Now I understand why you love the night sky so much. It is funny how I am doing more new things and appreciating nature more with you. First, the rain, then the beach and now the sky. You make me see the beauty in things I wouldn’t have appreciated normally.” He laughed.

“They are beautiful, aren’t they?” Chan sighed in contentment. Minho rolled on his side, smiling at the older man, memorising his features once again.

“I can see you’re staring at me.” Chan said, his ears heating up from the embarrassment.

“You are so beautiful, it is surreal.” Minho whispered, cupping Chan’s cheek with way more endearment that he would usually show. Chan smacked his hand away, sitting up, “We should probably leave, it is getting too late.”

Chan pretended to not get affected by the slight flicker of sadness in Minho’s eyes as he got up.

As Minho packed everything up, Chan watched as the moonlight illuminated the man’s face, making him look even more striking and it was strange that he had such a massive effect on his heart. As they walked back to the car, Minho’s hand brushed against his and Chan gasped at the sudden electricity that ran up his arms. This was what he had been missing with Matthew. This weird, intense, painful yet beautiful connection.

“You okay?” Minho asked, concern lining his eyes.

“Yeah…Just…you make me feel overwhelmed Minho.” Chan admitted, leaning against a tree, trying to calm his heart-rate down.

Minho cleared his throat, eyes shuttering close before opening them again, “Are you regretting this, Chan.” He asked and there was a lace of pain in his tone.

“No, you idiot, overwhelmed as in the good meaning.” Chan sighed, clutching onto his heart. “You always managed to have such a huge effect on me, and I hate it. Why did you do it?” Chan asked, his hand moving up to push his hair back messily. “You pushed me away…You let me go…then you came back and said you loved me?”

“Chan…” Minho whispered, his eyes clouding with sadness, “I didn’t know the feelings I had for you back then was love.”

“I was moving on, I thought I was actually getting happier.” Chan continued, voice quivering as his thoughts spilled out, “But I realised there was always something missing.”

“What are you saying Chan?” Minho asked softly, his hands coming up hesitantly like he wanted to hug Chan, comfort him, but he dropped them to his sides.

“You let me go.” Chan swallowed nervously, “I _begged_ you that day, I didn't want you to say you loved me, I wanted you to ask me to stay with you, to be yours. But you didn’t. Was it easy to just stand there and watch me leave? Did it feel good?”

“Chan no...It was the toughest thing I ever did; you have to trust me.” Minho said, looking straight into Chan’s eyes, licking his lips nervously. “I came running after you Chan. Something snapped in me when you left, I came after you. I wanted to stop you, hold you in my arms, tell you not to leave but you were getting into the cab and you left.” He confessed and each and every word was penetrating through Chan’s heart.

“I…” Chan began, gulping back a deep breath before staring straight ahead at Minho, “I have been thinking so much lately, I hate everything about this. I hate how I dug my own grave, coming to you asking you to be my fuck buddy. I hate how I fell in love with you in the process, I hate how you _made_ me fall in love with you and then became a cold asshole, breaking my heart. I hate how you came back to me, telling me you love me and expect me to trust you again just when I was trying to move on.” He ranted, watching Minho’s face drop.

“Chan… I don’t know how to make up for it, but I am really sorry.” Minho apologised again sadly.

“Let me finish.” Chan huffed as he ran his hand through his hair again in exasperation, “I hate how we kept depriving ourselves of happiness just because we were being stupid. Or more like _you_ were being stupid. We both were so blind; I was blindly in love with you while you were so blind as to what love meant. We kept constantly hurting each other and wallowing in pain and I don’t even know why when clearly fate wanted us to be together. This whole relationship was a disaster waiting to happen from the beginning. We spoke certain words that hurt the other and maybe it came from the fear that was deeply rooted in us. I understand now, why you are the way you are Minho. I could see your soul in your eyes, and I know you want the same thing as me, but we were just lost and didn’t know how to get there and started building barricades between us instead of bridges. I thought about this a lot and once I allowed all my locked emotions to come back flowing to me, I realised there _is_ a path for us.”

Chan scoffed, rolling his eyes as the frustration built up inside him. He was angry, at himself at Minho and at his stupid heart. They were always something more than friends, they were friends who had sex with each other, but both were blind to realise that was not the _only_ thing they wanted from the other person. Both of them could not communicate with each other, preferring to use their lips or hands to stop a conversation they did not like from happening. Too afraid to confront their real emotions. Always using sex as an excuse to be in each other’s companies, trying to deny their feelings for each other and Chan was _tired_ of the constant push and pull between them.

“I hate that no matter how hard I try to hate you, I could never do that because I am still in love with you, Minho.” Chan confessed, his expression completely serious as he let the words fall from his mouth with sincerity.

Minho froze in his steps, looking up at the man, mouth dropping open, as his voice failed, feeling his heartbeat start to race.

Chan never thought he would be confessing his love for the man standing before him again, especially after how disastrous it was the previous time, but he knew that no matter what happened, he was and would always be in love with Minho.

Minho then laughed, and Chan could confirm that it was indeed his favourite sound in the universe, and the younger man took a step closer to him and another until he had Chan pressed against the tree.

Minho placed an arm on the tree to Chan’s right, the other hand in his pocket as he slowly leaned forward, his lips brushing just slightly against the older man’s. Chan could feel Minho’s smile against his lips as he teased him.

“Say it again?” Minho asked softly.

And Chan whispered once more.

“I love you.”

It was as if the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders, the words feeling so right coming out of his mouth.

“You make me so happy.” Minho breathed against his lips, removing his hand from his pocket, and slipping under Chan’s shirt, tracing circles on Chan’s bare skin.

Chan inhaled a sharp intake of breath at the contact, and tried to steady his breathing as Minho placed a kiss on the corner of Chan’s lips, moving to leave a kiss on the tip of his nose before going back to his lips.

“I love you so much.” Minho sighed happily against his lips, before finally pressing against them, kissing Chan. A kiss that was long overdue. A kiss reminiscent of their time under the rain, a kiss so _tender._ Chan could feel the butterflies back at it again, making his heart race rapidly as Minho continued to kiss him softly. Minho's lips were soft and warm, and the instant connection between them was undeniable. 

Minho moved his hand from the tree to hold Chan’s face gently, caressing him as if he were delicate and he did not want to break him, again. He already lost Chan once, and he was _not_ going to lose him again. 

A plethora of emotions bloomed in Chan’s body as Minho kissed him harder, more desperate. Chan melted into the kiss, finally kissing him back, feeling the way their lips moved perfectly against each other’s, fitting each other perfectly, fireworks exploding in his chest.

“I love you too, Minho.” Chan said, feeling the happiness burst through his soul as he wrapped his arms around Minho’s neck, playing with his overgrown hair at the nape, pulling him closer to kiss him deeper.

Separately, they had their own fears and insecurities to overcome but together, it was something they could achieve by getting through it and helping each other out. This was exactly where Chan wanted to be, in Minho’s arms, kissing him like they were the only two people left in the world. The missing pieces of the puzzle had all fallen together perfectly, completing the unfinished jigsaw puzzle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooof....finally???? Finally!!!!!!  
> The two idiots in love....finally realised and admitted they are...in love?  
> *dramatic gasps*  
> Seriously though, thank you for putting up with this fic for so long <3 EVERYONE who had been reading up till here, who had been commenting and for giving me kudos, a million thanks to you all... it meant so much to me and motivated me and I hope this was satisfying...and I hope the reunion was good enough and justice was brought to it.  
> It isn't the end yet though!!! hehehehe... Let's see how they proceed from here?
> 
> PS: Special thanks to @wngpxppy for sending me that lovely dm (which made me cry) and for making my day brighter and getting me out of the writer's slump. Seriously, no words could describe how much that helped me so thank you for always motivating me and for always encouraging me <3 I love you.  
> PPS: I really love you Matthew but...Minchan....


	23. Chapter 23

“Your boy is officially in a relationship.” Chan announced, rolling on his bed happily, as he called up his friends as soon as he reached home.

After the kiss, Minho had driven him back to his apartment, holding him back by his arm when Chan was about to get out of the car.

“So, tell me…” Minho trailed off as he let go of the other man's hand, his eyes shifting nervously to the side before holding Chan's gaze, “Was this a date?”

Chan burst into laughter, as he placed a finger on his chin, pretending to ponder over it.

“Yes.”

Minho then smiled sweetly, looking pointedly at him before asking, “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

Chan’s laugh subsided, as he stared at Minho seriously, looking into those sincere eyes, filled with affection.

“Yes.” Chan said finally.

~

“What do you mean you are in a relationship? With Matthew?” Jisung asked in surprise, bringing Chan out from his thoughts.

“Uhm…No…It is actually Minho.” Chan admitted and he heard the collective sound of a gasp from them.

Chan took a deep breath in, proceeding to fill them on the events that had taken place, from how during the long talk with Minho, the man had confessed his love for him, hearing more dramatic noises over the receiver. He then told them about how Minho had missed out on his meeting just because Chan was upset and proceeding to tell them about their stargazing date and their confrontation that finally led to Chan confessing his love for Minho.

“Oh my god. Fucking finally.” Jisung cursed as Felix broke out in cheers.

“What Jisung said.” Changbin laughed loudly. “This is really incredible, Channie. I am really so happy for you, if Minho ever hurts you again after this, his face can meet my fist. This time, he won't get another chance.” He chortled.

“This is awesome. I think I am going to cry.” Felix muttered, his voice becoming heavy.

“How are things between you two?” Chan asked, the question directed to Jisung and Felix.

“Oh, it is good, we are way too comfortable with each other since we had been friends for a long time, you know.” Jisung said.

“How did it even happen?” Changbin asked them, “I mean we kind of realised you both were throwing heart eyes at each other, but we need the details of the how and when and why and where and what.”

“Calm down Changbin.” Felix snickered, “Well, remember during Hyunjin’s party while we were playing truth or dare, I said I would have sex with Jisung and after that we couldn’t stop thinking about it and I realised that maybe, just maybe, I really liked him.”

“Yeah…it was really difficult though.” Jisung sighed over the receiver, “Our biggest fear was what if things didn’t work out? And we ended up hating each other and ruining the group. It did take a long time to finally accept that we do have feelings for each other.”

“I think sometimes you just know, you know?” Felix said, “You just know that the person is the right person for you, it is weird.”

Chan listened intently, knowing this was his fear too and he understood exactly what they meant. It was how he felt whenever he was with Minho, how it felt like maybe no one could ever replace him like Minho could be...the one.

“Can’t believe everyone is in a relationship now, you are all growing up, it is disgusting.” Changbin groaned.

“We could help set you up with someone.” Jisung laughed as Changbin cursed him out, telling him to mind his own business.

Chan hung up the call after a while, scrolling through his texts to see Minho had texted.

_Minho: Just informed Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin. Hyunjin and Seungmin are happy for us. While Jeongin said something along the lines of ‘it was about time the gays win, thank you god.’ So, I assume he is happy too._

Chan giggled at that, Jeongin always had the tendency to say the weirdest things but that was why he was like his own personal sunshine.

_Chan: Jeongin is cute. Are we meeting them tomorrow together?_

_Minho: Yes, I will pick you up cutie._

_Chan: Argh stop flirting and go to bed._

_Minho: Sure haha. Oh, and Chan?_

_Chan: Yeah?_

_Minho: I love you._

Chan smiled fondly at his phone; his heart overfilled with happiness.

_Chan: I love you too._

* * *

The next day, Minho drove over to Chan’s place, and the older man was waiting downstairs. Minho’s breath caught in his throat when he saw how handsome the man looked in just shorts and a simple black tee. He saw Chan throw a radiant smile at him as his car parked by the side.

“Is this my uber ride?” Chan snickered as he opened the door and slide in.

“Yes, please give me 5 stars and a good feedback.” Minho chuckled.

“You got to do something else for that.” Chan was smirking up at the man as Minho looked at him in surprise.

“You know I won’t hesitate, but Hyunjin said he would kick me if I end up coming late so…” Minho laughed as he saw Chan’s lips turn into a pout. “Don’t worry, I will make up for it later.” He winked at him, laughing loudly as the older man turned a deep shade of red, loving how he always managed to fluster him.

They soon reached the café, after more playful bickering and Minho found it all so natural, like they were just meant to be, like Chan was specially made for him.

“They are going to tease us.” Chan groaned, tapping his feet nervously as he waiting for Minho outside the car.

“I am okay with it…. you are the one who gets so flustered.” Minho replied, getting out.

“I don’t understand how you could stay this calm.” Chan muttered.

Minho hugged Chan from the back, resting his face on his shoulder as he whispered into his ears, “It is because _you_ are the cute flustered bottom.”

Chan laughed, eyes crinkling, hand covering his mouth instinctively and he pulled away from the other man, turning around and pinching his ear. “You better not say anything like this in front of them.” Chan scolded him.

"i will try." Minho chuckled as they reached the entrance to the café where all their friends were already seated inside and Chan gulped nervously.

"You ready?" Minho asked, as he opened the door, gesturing at Chan to enter first.

Chan nodded his head, as he took a step in.

“Finally, there is a God.” Jeongin exclaimed as he watched Chan and Minho head over towards them, both beaming radiantly.

“If you are this relieved, just imagine us who had to put up with these two from the beginning.” Hyunjin scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Don’t jinx it.” Minho called out as he pulled up a seat for Chan before sitting next to him.

“So… are you two _really_ together? As in together?” Jisung asked awkwardly and Chan felt bad as he knew they had made his friends uncomfortable in a lot of situations before.

“Yes. Chan is my lovable boyfriend.” Minho said, clapping his hands together, still finding the term strange but he loved it, as he looked into Chan’s eyes lovingly.

The others around the table groaned, “Please tell me you aren’t going to be this cheesy forever?” Felix asked.

“They are in their honeymoon phase right now. Give them time and they would be back to arguing.” Changbin said, finding the whole thing amusing.

“Okay, let’s talk about something else.” Chan suggested, wanting the attention to go away from them.

“How did the relationships anti finally decide to be in a relationship?” Hyunjin asked, leaning on his elbows on the table.

“Well…I think I finally got my eyes opened.” Minho admitted, turning to look at Chan fondly, “It is scary sometimes, but I think I learnt the language of love through Chan here.”

“Ew.” Hyunjin regretted asking that as he started mimicking puking noises.

“That was so…. cheesy.” Seungmin said bursting into laughter.

“Let’s talk about something else please.” Chan pleaded once again, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.

“I seriously can’t believe you both are actually together now, after all the sufferings and the pain you both put each other through.” Changbin said, smiling at them.

“Oh god, you should have seen Chan hyung mopping around back then at work, staring at his phone all day for someone to message him.” Jeongin groaned.

“First, I wasn’t mopping around and second, we are sorry for making you guys go through all that.” Chan sighed in embarrassment.

“Nah, it was fine, no sweat.” Jeongin said, shaking his hand at them.

Hyunjin turned to look at him, his eyebrows furrowed, “You weren’t even here for half of the drama these two unfolded on us.” He looked back at Minho and Chan, pointing a finger at their direction, “You both _better_ be sorry. But we forgive you since we love you two idiots.” He said, shrugging and grinning at them.

It felt like a lifetime had passed since all of them at the table laughed genuinely at something, and Chan missed this.

He smacked Minho on his arm playfully when the man stole his red velvet cake once again, taking revenge by taking Minho’s cupcake and shoving it into his mouth, regretting it a bit when he choked a little.

Minho couldn’t help it, Chan looked way too adorable as he swallowed down the cupcake with watery eyes and before he could think, he pulled the older man close and pecked him on his lips, laughing as the man once again became flustered, the tips of his ears flushing a bright crimson. Needless to say, everyone went fucking nuts over that scene, cheering loudly and whistling and receiving weird judgmental stares from the customers surrounding them. All of their friends were over the moon over their reunion and he didn’t know if Felix was being dramatic, but the man had tears in his eyes as he patted him on his back, congratulating them and Jeongin was shouting ‘A win for the gays’ out loudly repetitively over and over again.

“So, Innie is it going to be you and me next?” Changbin asked, smirking playfully at the man.

The smile on Jeongin’s face faded away quickly, as he groaned, his hands moving up to pull on his hair strands. 

* * *

As the days passed by, Chan found himself meeting Minho almost every day after work and they would just talk the whole day away. It was definitely different compared to last time when they used to meet regularly just to have sex. Chan had gone over to the animal shelters and orphanages where Minho volunteered at and the scene of Minho with kids and animals never failed to melt his heart, making him fall hopelessly into the pit of love. Some nights, they would just stroll along the riverside, basking in the calm, relaxing atmosphere before heading off home. The conversations they would have by the riverside would always be special, with Minho confiding more and more in Chan. Telling him about his struggles to accept someone actually loving him for who he is, and his fear of screwing up, his fear of being left alone, and Chan would reassure him by telling him that he loves him, by telling him everything will be okay and he was there for him. Minho never failed to go past a day without telling Chan that he was doing well, validating his hard work and it became a habit where Chan would always play his songs for Minho first, getting his feedback before he sent it over to Younghyun.

Some nights Chan would go over to Minho's apartment where the man would cook the most delicious food for him, before proceeding to kiss him like there was no tomorrow and some nights Minho would come over to Chan's apartment where they would watch movies until they couldn't keep their eyes open. They never went further than kissing, preferring to take things slower this time, and Minho wanted to be more careful as he didn't want the other man to think he cared only about the sex.

On the other hand, Matthew had gradually started talking to Chan again, beginning off with a simple hi and bye but after some time, Matthew would sit with him during lunch again, cracking jokes with him and Chan was thankful that things were finally going well.

“Why do you need that guy as your friend?” Minho whined as they were sprawled on the couch in Chan's apartment, the older man's head resting on top of Minho's chest, watching videos on his phone lazily. It had been around a month since they got together and so far everything had been going on well.

“Minho…behave. You were nice about him before we started dating.” Chan chided, jabbing a finger onto his chest.

“I was on my best behaviour and I wanted to see you happy but now I am here to make you happy.” Minho grumbled, wrapping his arms around Chan possessively, and Chan chuckled at the sight of jealous Minho.

“You are the only man I love, Lee Minho. I hope you know that.” Chan sighed as he ruffled Minho’s hair fondly.

“Good. I felt like punching him whenever I saw him with you back then.” Minho admitted sheepishly.

“Minho! Behave.” Chan smacked him on his arm, moving away as the younger man sat up. “Didn’t you tell me to try and fix things with him?”

“Yes, and god it hurt like hell.” Minho laughed as he pulled Chan into his lap. “Anyways, I got two questions to ask you.” He hummed.

“Yes? Ask away.” Chan giggled, throwing his arms around Minho’s neck.

“Remember the time I came over to your place without telling you and Changbin was there?” Minho asked, looking into Chan’s eyes.

“Yes? Of course, I remember you turning up on my doorstep after ghosting me for like two days.” Chan said, rolling his eyes.

“What did you tell Changbin before he left?” Minho asked, curiously.

“Why do you even remember that Minho.” Chan laughed softly in disbelief.

Minho shrugged nonchalantly, he remembered Chan had whispered something to Changbin when the man was going to leave, and he had looked serious, almost like he was worried about someone.

“Well… If you must know, Changbin came over because I told him that you were ignoring me and I didn’t know how to handle it so he was giving me advice and when he was leaving, I told him that you looked really upset and we might not end up meeting them at the café in case you… wanted to talk finally or rant.” Chan said, his voice faltering. “But clearly you didn’t want to….”

Minho looked at Chan, astonished, and wondered again how he was so lucky to have this man in his life. Someone who was willing to listen to him despite him turning up after being unreasonably cold and ignoring his messages.

“I am, indeed, an idiot.” Minho sighed, bringing their lips together, kissing him softly.

“What was the other question?” Chan asked, pulling back from Minho.

“What did you tell Changbin about me being jealous?” Minho asked, the beginnings of a smirk, tugging at his lips.

Minho watched in amusement as Chan turned red, before scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“What did that bitch tell you?” Chan grumbled, his nose scrunching up.

“Nothing, he told me to ask you myself once we made up.” The younger man said, grinning at him.

“Argh. Ok, I said sex with jealous Minho was hot.” Chan mumbled, looking away as Minho burst out in laughter.

“Oh Channie…” He sighed as he ran his hand along Chan’s bare thigh feeling the man shiver under his touch, as he kissed him again. Chan yelped in surprise as Minho flipped them around, pressing Chan onto the couch as he nibbled gently on the older man’s bottom lips.

“How are your lips always so plump…and juicy?” Minho asked, his teeth gently tugging at Chan’s lips.

Chan broke out in giggles, “That was the weirdest thing anyone ever told me.”

Minho continued to pepper kisses all over Chan’s face before kissing his lips again, “I am serious Channie, your lips are an addiction.” The younger man said as he broke away from the kiss. He left a soft peck on Chan's lips and another before saying, "See? Your lips are like a magnet, I keep getting drawn into it." Minho said, enjoying the way Chan was laughing beneath him, as he left another soft kiss on Chan's lips.

“Minho…” Chan whined slowly, his hands fisting Minho's shirt as he stared up at the man with lust filled eyes. “There is something I always wanted to do.”

Minho looked down at his boyfriend, wondering what it was. Chan pulled him closer, pressing his lips lightly against his, before pushing him hard, shoving him off the couch. Minho fell to the ground with a loud thud as he heard Chan giggling.

Chan hopped off the couch, running away to the back and watched as Minho got up slowly.

“You are in deep trouble now Channie.” Minho grunted, his voice low and deep and Chan felt the shivers running down his spine.

Minho ran after the man trying to grab him as Chan headed towards the bedroom. Minho caught the back of Chan’s shirt, pulling him back harshly, and the older man struggled in his arms, trying to break free before they both fell on to the bed, getting their breaths knocked out.

Minho then climbed over Chan, pinning his arms above him with one hand and staring down at him, their gazes unwavering, his chest heaving up and down as he tried to steady his breathing. Minho soon realised that their position right now was overwhelming, and he could feel himself getting hard as his eyes hovered over Chan lying under him. Those swollen pink lips, those flushed cheeks… it had been so long, way too long, and he needed Chan. Now.

Minho leaned down to kiss those plump lips again before murmuring against his ears, “You look beautiful.” He moved down, kissing along Chan’s jawline, biting hard on a sensitive spot on his neck marking his pale skin, relishing in Chan’s moans. “You are mine.” Minho breathed before pulling Chan shirt to the side, exposing more of his flawless skin, and marking him further.

“Yours.” Chan whispered as Minho joined their lips together desperately, delving into the warm cavern of Chan’s mouth, savouring the taste of him, and Chan was now grinding against him. Minho knew he couldn’t control himself if they continued making out like this, and he broke away from the kiss.

“Chan…” He trailed off, looking down at the man, his irises swirling with desire and longing.

There was a pretty pink dusted all over Chan’s cheeks as he never let go of his boyfriend’s gaze, sighing softly, “Minho…I need you. _Now_.”

That was all that was needed to set Minho off as the man let go of Chan’s hands in favour of pulling his shorts down. Chan struggled to get up, moving further up the bed, and giving Minho’s easier access to remove his shorts. He tugged at Minho’s shirt, trying to pull it off impatiently and the younger man chuckled.

“Patience _baby_.”

So much time had passed between them since Chan heard Minho use that term on him again and the tremors that spiked through his body were involuntary. Once they had managed to remove all their clothes off, Minho reached out and got the lube out, coating his fingers before parting Chan’s thighs gently, trailing his fingers along the man’s entrance, inserting one in. Chan inhaled sharply, stifling his moan with one arm while the other fisted the sheets tightly. It had been a while and he could feel himself clenching tightly around Minho’s finger. The younger man leaned down to kiss him softly trying to ease his pain, as he inserted another into the tight ring of muscles and started scissoring him, working them in and out and moving around, inserting the third finger in, and curling them until he found Chan’s sweet spot, eliciting a loud whine from him.

“How do you feel baby?” Minho breathed against his ear before worshipping every inch of Chan’s flawless expanse of skin, leaving marks wherever he could. Chan was a mess, his moans loud as he squirmed under Minho and he wanted _more_.

Minho pulled out his fingers, stroking his member with lube before lifting up Chan’s thighs and pressing them against his chest, gazing into his eyes, as he lined his dick with Chan’s hole, pushing in slowly. Chan let out a soft whine as he felt himself being stretched out and he really missed the feeling of Minho inside him. As Minho penetrated into him slowly, Chan felt complete.

Minho waited for a while, sheathed deeply inside Chan, waiting for the man to get used to the feeling, his eyes never leaving Chan’s, before pulling out and thrusting into him again, torturously slow.

“Minho, you aren’t going to break me. Can you fuck me harder please?” Chan groaned as he wrapped his legs around Minho and tried to pull him in closer, to get it in deeper in him.

“Baby, be patient, I don’t want to hurt you.” Minho muttered as he thrusted in again.

“We had sex like a million times before this in different positions, this isn’t going to hurt, fuck me hard please.” Chan whined and Minho dug his nails into Chan’s hips before pulling out and slamming into him, quicker and harder than the previous thrust. Just like before, Minho always felt good, his thick member fitting so snugly inside him.

Minho’s hands were all over his body, twisting and moving Chan’s body around so to strike him at his pleasurable spot. Every touch of Minho was scorching hot and Chan missed this so much, yearning for more. Minho intently studied Chan’s form, his hands moving everywhere to memorise and map the contours of his body, the feeling of his skin shivering under his touch. This was definitely not the first time Chan was having sex with Minho, however there was just something that had changed this time.

Lifting Chan’s legs, Minho thrusted into him again, as the man cried out in pure ecstasy. Minho dropped both hands on to the bed, driving into the older man. This was different in so many ways, compared to all the previous times they had sex. Before, there used to be mostly lust, or confusion lingering with unknown emotions in the atmosphere. However now, there was this new stronger and brighter emotion. Minho was murmuring little sentiments and praises in Chan’s ear as the older man broke off in whines and moans. Chan’s entire body jerked, his hands clinging onto his boyfriend's shoulders, when Minho thrusted in him particularly hard. Chan kept calling his name out again and again loudly, and it felt so good, harsh pants and ragged moans filling the room up.

“God, you are beautiful.” Minho whispered, the admiration and love in his eyes gleaming prominently and he leaned down to kiss him on the unmarked part of his neck, biting at it and colouring it red.

Chan was writhing under Minho’s weight; whose deep groans created a symphony that sent the older man in overdrive.

“Minho, go harder please.” Chan wheezed out, quavering, his hand reaching out to tangle itself in Minho’s long strands, tugging at it tightly as the younger man hissed slowly.

And Minho went harder and faster until Chan’s moans were cut off with a sharp cry, as he came onto the younger man’s stomach. His tight walls clenched around Minho’s member and he arched his back, shuddering as Minho bit hard on his collarbone, releasing into him. The feeling of Minho filling him up was so overwhelming and Chan bit his lips, enjoying the sensation. Their eyes met at the same time, panting breathlessly as Minho pulled out slowly and went to get a wet towel. Chan made a pleased noise as Minho helped clean him up, throwing the towel on to the floor and falling into the bed beside the older man, tired, and draped the sheet over them in a slick move before pulling Chan into a hug, both of them holding onto each other knowing they will never lose each other again.

Chan immediately nestled against him and Minho breathed in his scent, wrapping his arms around his body. They do not say anything in the silence that followed when Chan looked up and met his half-lidded eyes. It took a long time for them to get here but by now they knew each other’s body languages and knew that they were madly in love with each other.

Minho also learnt that having sex with feelings was definitely a million times more worth it.

“Aren’t you going to leave now?” Chan asked groggily.

“Never.” Minho sighed contently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first, I wanted to end this fic with Minchan just getting back together but then I wondered maybe I should show how they actually are together, how their relationship is. Explore the happy side of them more because we deserve happy cute minchan. Or maybe I just don't want to end the fic :(((  
> Anyways this is slowly coming to an end, so thank you for being so patient and sticking with me through this ride <3 Once again, your comments are all so lovely to read and I love each and every one of them, as they continue to motivate me <3


	24. Chapter 24

Waking up in Minho’s arms felt so surreal. It was hard to believe that this wasn’t a dream, that Minho was here in his apartment and Chan was wrapped up in his embrace. Chan snuggled in closer, kissing the other man on his chin before getting out of the bed, walking over to the washroom. As Chan brushed his teeth and washed his face, he looked up and saw Minho in the reflection, rubbing his eyes blearily and his heart started jumping in his stomach. It was all real. Minho really did stay.

“Did you sleep well baby?” Minho asked, his voice deeper and raspier with sleep.

“Yes, I did.” Chan smiled at him, moving away to let the man refresh himself, passing him a sealed toothbrush. “Did you?”

“Yes, I can’t believe what I had missed out on for almost a year.” Minho sighed as he removed the brush from its covering.

Chan had no answer to that, but he thought about how everything probably happened for a reason, they had to take the harder route to get to where they were, the hardships made the relationship more valuable and maybe that was just fate. Was the pain and tears worth it? Chan looked at the man brushing his teeth, his hair sticking up in different directions and smiled.

It was definitely worth it.

They had breakfast together and spent the entire day in pajamas, drinking tea and flipping through the TV channels. Chan’s head was resting comfortably on Minho’s lap, and this was by far, the most comfortable, most cozy he had ever been. He stared up at Minho, wanting him to look at him, frowning when the other man kept ignoring him in favour of the television. Chan knew Minho was doing this on purpose, that the man knew and could sense him looking at him intently, craving for his attention, judging by the tiny smirk he had lingering on his lips. Chan got up and swung his legs around to straddle Minho’s lap, startling the man by crashing their lips together, feeling proud of himself.

Minho got up from the couch suddenly with Chan in his arms, eliciting a squeal from the older man. He carried him to the bedroom, throwing him gently on to the bed as Chan bounced on it.

“Looks like someone was begging to get all my attention.” Minho moaned as he climbed onto the bed, laying butterfly kisses all over Chan’s face, before reaching his lips again.

“Looks like it worked.” Chan giggled, sighing happily as Minho broke away from the kiss.

Minho had been thinking about something for a while now, but he didn’t know how to put the idea across to Chan.

“Chan…” Minho trailed off, slowly staring into Chan’s eyes. “I just realised it was always you trusting me…. I never showed any evidence that I do trust you too.” He said, his tone becoming more nervous. "And I really trust you."

Chan looked up, confused, “What are you saying suddenly?”

“I am saying I am always doing the thrusting not the trusting.” He chuckled loudly at his own poor joke while Chan gaped at him, understanding creeping over his face.

“Are you for real?” Chan asked him, his eyes wide.

“Yes…I can teach you how to do it.” Minho said, shrugging.

“I think I do know how to fuck, thank you very much.” Chan said, smacking him on his arm.

Minho smirked before pulling Chan in to kiss him, cupping his face. Chan leaned forward, kissing him deeper before his hands moved lower, slipping inside Minho’s pants and briefs, and stroking his cock, listening to the way his lover was sighing in bliss.

Minho broke away from the kiss, before pulling at Chan’s tee, almost ripping it as the older pushed him away and removed it, pulling Minho’s shirt off too and throwing it onto the floor.

Once they removed all their remaining clothes and were lying on the bed naked, Chan reached out for the lube, coating his fingers with them, his hand shaking slightly.

“Have you done this before?” Chan asked and Minho shook his head. Chan suddenly felt extremely pressured as he moved between his lover’s legs, breathing in deeply. He had only topped once or twice and it was ages ago and he wanted Minho to feel nothing but pleasure and satisfaction.

“You got to find the hole and insert your fingers in.” Minho said casually as Chan turned red.

“Minho, I know what to do.”

“Do you really, baby?”

“Minho can you shut up, just stop talking?” Chan complained as he inserted one finger in slowly, “Relax.” He whispered when he felt his boyfriend tense around his finger.

“I am relaxed, you relax.” Minho snapped, gasping as he felt the sharp intrusion.

Chan shook his head endearingly, knowing Minho was nervous, before inserting another finger in, kissing Minho slowly, to ease his pain as he gently prepped him.

“You are doing so well baby.” Minho breathed against his lips. “Keep stretching like that.”

Chan felt honoured that no one else in the world could see Minho like this, only _he_ was the one. He knew how much Minho liked to be in control and this was…this definitely was a huge step in their relationship.

As Chan slid in a third finger, he caught eyes with Minho, who was looking at him with so much love and Chan was starting to feel overwhelmed.

“Are you ready, Minho?” Chan asked slowly as his boyfriend nodded with a smile.

“Ok now you need to insert your dick in me.”

“Minho, I am telling you I know how to fuck.” Chan said rolling his eyes.

Minho’s hands moved to squeeze his butt, “You are so cute baby. I am so proud.”

Chan smacked his hands away, before coating his dick with lube and he slowly pushed in, observing Minho’s reaction.

Minho’s eyes were closed, and he let out a soft sigh. “You can move now.” Minho whispered after a while. “You are doing so well.”

Chan could feel the heat creep up his face at the compliments as he held onto Minho’s hips, pulling out and pushing in again slowly until he was completely inside Minho. The feeling was so good, _so fucking good,_ and soon Chan found a rhythm.

Minho opened his eyes, and everything felt so intense right then. The way Minho was willing to trust Chan and let him be his first. And hopefully the last. Minho kept assuring him he was doing well and encouraged him to go faster and Chan listened.

Chan looked at Minho, memorising every inch of his perfect features and felt his heart burst with emotions, he could sense how the intimacy between them had increased tenfold.

“Oh god…Minho. You are so handsome. So unreal.” Chan moaned as he continued thrusting.

Chan never wanted to forget this moment, he shivered when Minho’s hands ran down his back, pulling him in close to kiss him softly as Chan kept up the rhythm, feeling like he would explode as he felt his orgasm reaching him.

“Minho.” Chan moaned loudly.

“God, Channie, you feel so good, I am going to come.” Minho groaned and Chan reached down, stroking his dick until Minho came with a shout of his name.

Chan saw the love and trust in his boyfriend’s eyes, and he moaned, closing his eyes as he finally released.

Chan pulled out slowly, falling onto the younger man as he chuckled, wrapping his arms around him.

“Thank you for trusting me, Minho.” Chan sighed. 

"I can now understand the struggles you have to go through." Minho stated, his fingers rubbing circles onto Chan's back.

"It isn't bad, I enjoy it way too much actually." Chan chuckled. 

“You did so well baby.” Minho sighed, peppering his face with kisses.. “But I prefer fucking you.” He whispered against his ears as Chan snickered, not wanting to admit that he would indeed prefer being fucked too.

* * *

Autumn soon arrived, the leaves changing colours as they dropped from the trees. The summer heat soon dissipated into the cool breezy fall. Minho and Chan had been dating for around five months now, and they would still argue over the most trivial things, but they had been going strong. However, compared to the first few months they were together where they had made a habit of meeting each other every day, it slowly decreased as the months passed by. Chan was okay with that, as long as he could see Minho for at least few hours a week. He understood that they were both busy and it would not be possible to see each other every minute of the day, especially since it wasn't like they were living together. Not that Chan wanted that, of course it would be nice to live with Minho but he also didn't want to freak the other man out, or appear to be too clingy and needy which Chan was beginning to feel that he was.

It was the last week of September, when he realised Minho would come up with various reasons to not meet up. It will always be the same, “I have work, Chan.” or “I am going for dinner with my dad, Chan.” And when Chan told him he wouldn’t mind driving over to wherever Minho was and wait for him, Minho would actually sound pissed, telling him that he was busy and would be tired and Chan would try to stop his mind from over analysing everything. 

“Changbin, it is happening again, he is ignoring me. He is going to leave me.”

_So much for not over analysing everything._

Chan was on the phone with his best friend and he heard him chuckle over the receiver.

“Chan…he must be genuinely busy. He loves you, calm down.” Changbin said soothingly.

“We haven’t met in almost two weeks!” Chan exclaimed, sighing dramatically.

“Chan… can you please calm down?” Changbin snorted.

“I feel betrayed. When did you go to his side you betrayer?” Chan huffed in annoyance.

“I am _not_ on his side, just give him time, will you?” His best friend groaned.

Chan grumbled before hanging up, checking his phone to see if Minho had texted him at all.

He had not.

It was hard to concentrate at work when his mind was occupied with Minho. He was moping around, and the longer Minho took to text him, the more irritated he became, and he kicked his table in anger, immediately regretting it as the pain shot up his leg.

It was Friday night and Chan was working late to distract himself, when his phone started ringing in his pocket, the vibration startling him from his thoughts, and he answered it with a low grumble after seeing the name flash on it.

“Chan?”

“What do you want Changbin?” Chan asked coldly.

“Nice to talk to you too.” His best friend chuckled.

“Doing okay, considering my boyfriend does not know I exist anymore.” Chan said in a strangled voice.

“Chan, you are being dramatic. Why don’t you just go over to his place if you are so worried?” Changbin said, sounding so casual it was pissing him off. Though Changbin had a point, he could just go over to his place and check on him. Minho was his boyfriend after all.

“What if I walk into him having sex with another human?” Chan asked, his insecurity floating to the surface.

“Chan…” Changbin sighed, his voice trailing off. “Just go and check on him, otherwise your mind won’t let you sleep tonight.”

Changbin was right. It was better to go check for himself than go back home and think about Minho throughout.

Chan took a deep breath in, trying to calm his racing heart down, “I will go there now.” He said.

The drive to Minho’s apartment was agonizing, and Chan’s heart was beating rapidly in his chest when he headed over to the elevators.

He gripped the strap of his bag across his chest tightly and tried to take deep breaths in. When the elevator door opened with a ping, Chan felt his heart drop and he wanted to go back downstairs. This could be a mistake.

He walked up slowly to the door, hesitating before ringing the doorbell.

Chan waited for a while, but he could not hear Minho’s footsteps and he tried to open the door, finding to his surprise, that it was unlocked. Minho always locked his door, so this was really strange and Chan was suddenly more alert.

The lights were off in the apartment, the only source of light coming from the moon that was shining bright outside the window. Chan removed his shoes, picking one up in his hands in case he had to defend himself.

“Minho?” Chan whispered, slowly stepping in, feeling like he was in some horror movie. Just as his mind started coming up with the worst case scenarios, all the lights in the apartment switched on and there were familiar voices screaming “Surprise” from different directions, making Chan jump right out of his skin, his heart thudding so fast he could faint.

“Oh, fuck me.” Chan yelled out loud, almost throwing the shoe at someone as he closed his eyes shut.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Minho standing there in the midst of his friends, smiling at him.

“Happy birthday, Chan.”

_Oh._

Chan checked the clock and saw it was midnight. He did not even realise it was his birthday and he let his shoe fall to the ground limply.

“Did you forget it was your birthday again?” Jisung asked, staring at him, holding balloons and streamers in his hands.

“I told you, he doesn’t remember his own birthday…” Changbin said turning to Minho.

"How could someone actually forget their own birthday?" Hyunjin asked incredulously.

Chan stared at them all wide eyed, speechless, before he walked up to Minho, his fists colliding with the younger man’s chest, once, twice, and thrice as he spoke, “What is your problem?” The older man then took a step back, looking at the decorations, and the huge cake on the table and at all his friends surrounding him and he could not help it but burst into tears.

It was hilarious once you think about it, and a little anticlimactic.

Everyone in the room had gasped, surprised at Chan’s reaction, and came running to him, engulfing him in a warm tight group hug as Chan covered his face with his hands.

Soon, there was only one pair of arms wrapped around him, one whose scent he had memorised and had become the biggest source of comfort for him.

Chan burrowed his face into Minho’s chest, trying to dry his tears on his expensive shirt.

“Chan…what happened?” Minho pleaded, trying to get Chan to look at him but the man kept clutching on to his shirt, feeling ashamed. “Chan…” He finally managed to pry Chan’s hands off him and grab the tops of his arms, looking into his teary eyes. “I told you I was never going to leave you…” Minho said softly, pressing a soft kiss on his forehead, ignoring the looks from his friends who were probably staring at them two, rolling their eyes, “I love you, happy birthday baby.”

“I thought you got bored of me.” Chan mumbled softly, smacking lightly at Minho’s chest again.

“How will I get bored of you? I am sorry Channie.” Minho apologised sheepishly.

Chan coughed lightly, “Thank you for this Minho.” He looked up at him, smiling at him and Minho pinched his cheek lightly.

“God, you are so adorable.” Minho sighed.

After Chan apologised to everyone for his sudden outburst and for making them all worried, they sat around on the big couch, catching up on each other’s days.

Chan finally was able to see the room properly once Minho dimmed the lights, and was shocked to see it was decorated to look like the galaxy, with glowing stars, planets and crescent shaped moon decorations hanging everywhere on the ceiling. There was a large galaxy tapestry covering one side of the walls completed with balloons at the corner and it was making his heart swell with joy.

Chan never celebrated his birthday, never finding it important to do so, and he was so touched that Minho actually went to this extent to do this for him.

“I told you not to over analyse everything.” Changbin whispered as he passed him an expensive bottle of champagne. Chan blushed a bright red, “I am sorry…" He muttered, "Were you aware of all this?”

“Of course, who did you think helped him with the decorations and the shopping? Oh god, you should see your boyfriend fuss about almost _everything_. 'I need this to be perfect, because Channie is perfect' or 'the decor needs to be as beautiful as Channie which might be impossible' argh gross.” Changbin mimicked as he gagged.

Chan was flattered, and maybe a little bit embarrassed but he felt his heart warming up at the idea of his boyfriend and best friend going out together and getting along well with each other. “How did you know that I would actually listen to you and come here?” Chan asked curiously, “What if I had just gone back home?”

“Chan.” Changbin said firmly, “I am your best friend for a reason.” He said seriously, staring into Chan’s eyes. “Oh, and also, Minho had a backup plan of kidnapping you from your apartment and bringing you here, so it would have still worked out in the end.” He concluded with a laugh.

Chan decided to not get too drunk like the previous times, wanting to remember this day forever but at the same time, he wanted to be a little tipsy. He watched as Minho kept moving all over the apartment, serving food and drinks and being the perfect host.

The younger man then came over and slumped over the couch next to Chan, placing his head on his lap, as he exhaled a tired breath.

“Are you okay?” Chan asked softly, moving his hands to run them through his hair, massaging his scalp gently.

“Yes…it is time to open presents.” Minho said, excitement seeping into his tone as he enjoyed the way Chan’s fingers ran over his scalp for a little longer before getting up and sitting straight.

Chan ripped open all the present excitedly, Jeongin had gifted him a large oversized teddy bear that made him shriek in glee, Jisung had got him a beautiful jewel adorned notebook, _“for you to write your genius lyrics.”_ Changbin had gotten him a LP of his favourite band that he had always wanted and Hyunjin and Seungmin had gotten him an expensive Rolex watch that made Chan stop and stare for a while, never owning anything this expensive before. Felix on the other hand had gotten him another shirt, white in colour and just as outrageous as the black one he had gotten before. The back was completely sheer and cut more deeply, certain to expose his back and Chan groaned as Felix shrieked in glee. Chan could see Minho staring at it hungrily and he felt heat creep up his neck. He made a note to himself to have a talk with Felix later.

The last gift was from Minho and he had a tiny gift box in his hands. Chan watched Minho fidget in his seat nervously as he handed him the gift. “I hope you would like it…” He said, voice low and trailing off.

The box was wrapped up beautifully with a bow that was neatly tied, probably by Minho himself. Chan unwrapped it and opened the box, his heart stopping when he saw a beautiful gold bracelet, with a padlock and a key charm on it, both embedded with stones that looked like diamonds and Chan knew this must have cost a bomb. As he peered at it closely, he saw a tiny M engraved on the lock and a C engraved on the key. Chan looked up at Minho questioningly, his breath knocked away.

“So..uhm…there is a story,” Minho started speaking, uncertainty in his eyes, “The lock is my heart…it was locked for so many years, and no one bothered to understand me, or try to penetrate it but then you came along, the key to my heart, unlocking it and securing a place in it.” He finished speaking as silence flooded the room. “I swear it was not this tacky when I was getting it made…” Minho murmured quietly, almost to himself.

Chan could feel the tears prickling at his eyes again as he stared at the bracelet, removing it from the box and Minho took it from him before holding his hand tenderly and clasping it around his wrist. “It fits you so perfectly.” Minho sighed, before taking his hand and placing a quick kiss on it.

“Thank you so much, Minho.” Chan breathed softly, loving the way it looked against his wrist. He then looked up at Minho, flinging himself onto the man and hugging him tightly. “You did listen when I said I like gifts that had a story behind didn’t you.” Chan whispered against his ear, feeling Minho’s chest rumble with laughter.

“I told you…I listen to you.” Minho answered back as he wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly.

It was all Chan wanted and more and he felt his heart seeping with joy as he felt like he was _home_ in Minho’s arms.

Chan pulled away from the hug, kissing Minho gently on the lips and the younger kissed him back harder, nibbling on his lip for entrance that was granted readily and Minho’s quick tongue slide into his parted lips, tasting the champagne that was mingled with the taste of Chan.

As they broke away from the kiss, they looked around to see all their friends’ eyes on them, gawking at them in silence.

“Who knew you two would be this sweet to each other back then?” Hyunjin whistled slowly, shaking his head disbelievingly.

“I swear I am not crying.” Felix muttered as he stared up at the ceiling, fanning his face.

“Jesus- Minho you got to stop doing this, you are putting so much pressure on me to do things for Lix now.” Jisung groaned, as he rubbed his forehead in stress.

“I still love you Sungie.” Felix said fondly through watery eyes.

“Lix, you will always have the key to my heart even if I can’t afford to buy you a customised bracelet.” Jisung said as he pulled Felix into a hug.

“If you guys are done with making out in front of us, and being sappy, perhaps we can focus on partying?” Jeongin groaned, rolling his eyes and the others started snickering at that. “Some people are still single here.”

Felix and Jisung broke away from each other as Chan stepped up from Minho, clearing his throat awkwardly, “Yes. Sorry…”

With the night drizzling away into languorous smiles and celebratory chinks of glasses, the party moved on smoothly. Minho even got up and burst out some moves along with Hyunjin to a pop song, with Felix joining them. Chan could not take his eyes off Minho and the way he was moving with so much accuracy and precision. As Chan could feel the alcohol starting to take effect, giving him the pleasant buzz, he stepped out onto the balcony, inhaling in the fresh air. He felt the presence of another man behind him and smiled, knowing exactly who it was.

“Couldn’t stay away from me even for a minute, could you?” Chan said teasingly, without looking back.

“I have another gift for you.” Minho said softly, hugging Chan from the back, before turning the man around.

“You already did so much, Minho.” Chan sighed but smiling at him earnestly.

“Channie…I cannot believe you were thinking that I was getting bored or was going to let you go, because that would never happen. And this is for you. But you... you do not have to accept it…” Minho coughed, his hand in his pocket and the man was getting a bit restless and Chan noticed it. Minho was _nervous._ It was like they were thrown back in time, when Minho came up to him at the café and asked him to be his friend. The same nervousness except maybe it was intensified tonight. “I don’t know if it is too soon, I think it might be too soon, so I hope I don’t scare you away and you really don’t have to accept now.” Minho rambled on and Chan watched him in amusement, taking his hand and squeezing it gently.

“Minho…it is okay.” Chan smiled at him reassuringly.

Minho held Chan’s hand gently in his, stroking it as he removed his other hand from his pocket, placing a cold object on Chan’s hand, curling the older man’s fingers around it.

Chan stared at his closed fist in curiosity, before opening it slowly, to find a key placed in it. He looked up at Minho in curiosity, “Is this a key to your heart again, Minho?” He asked.

Minho laughed as he cleared his throat, taking in one desperate breath, calming down his nerves, “It is the key to my apartment…Do you want to move in with me, Channie?”

Emotion swelled in Chan’s chest like a balloon pressing against his lungs and he found it endearing how _nervous_ Minho was at the moment, and how the man could even doubt that he would not want to move in.

"I know. I know, it had been only five months, and it is a bit too soon, but Chan, I can't get enough of you, I love you so much." Minho blabbered nervously, avoiding his eyes.

“Minho…" Chan breathed, his face brightening up and under the moonlight he looked even more ethereal. "Of course." He said, his eyes turning into crescents as he smiled at the other man sincerely.

Minho looked into Chan’s eyes, which were so sincere and beautiful and leaned down to kiss those lips he loved the most. He broke off the kiss, turning away and resting his elbows on the railing, staring out at night sky as he started shouting from the balcony.

“I fucking love Chan.” He yelled suddenly, his voice bouncing through the wind strong and deep. Chan started laughing at that, the happiness in Minho’s tone prominent as he continued shouting. “We are moving in together! I am the luckiest man in the world.” Minho bellowed and Chan had to drag him back, giggling.

“Minho, be careful, you might get kicked out.” He laughed, and they entered the living room again, joining their friends.

“Congrats you two.” Jisung said, lifting his glass up.

“Oh…you heard him screaming?” Chan asked, bewildered.

“The whole apartment heard it.” Seungmin chuckled, “I am so happy for you two.”

Chan’s entire being melted at that moment, so thankful to have the friends he has now, people who would always stick by them no matter what. And he was so thankful he had Minho. He felt so loved at that moment and it was overwhelming.

As the party continued, Jisung and Felix got a tad too drunk and started making out in a corner.

“Seungmin…” Hyunjin turned to face his boyfriend, “Why are we always the only ones not making out in front of everyone?” He asked, genuine curiosity in his voice and he received a smack on his head from the man in reply.

“Seriously this group is infected with couples, I need to find new friends.” Jeongin groaned. “Jilix and Minchan are having a competition to see who the best new couple could be, but the winner is Jeongour, which is me and my brilliant sense of humour.”

“Honestly, more than these couples, you are starting to annoy me.” Changbin grumbled, as he shoved the younger man off the couch.

It was early in the morning when they all decided to leave, hugging Chan tightly and wishing him a happy birthday once again before leaving and Minho came and rest his face on his shoulder, a hand on his waist.

“So…I have one last birthday gift for you.” Minho whispered hotly against his ear and Chan’s body shivered at that, already guessing what it was going to be, and he was right, when Minho’s hand moved slowly down, groping his ass. “I am going to take good care of you tonight, baby, I am going to fuck you all night long.”

Chan whimpered as he turned back and pulled Minho close to him, grinding against him as he kissed him hard. Minho moved down, running his tongue over Chan’s neck, and slammed him against the wall, before joining their lips together, their tongues lazily dancing around and hands roaming all over each other. As they broke away from the kiss, Chan met Minho’s dark and predatory gaze and gulped.

Minho slithered a hand up his shirt, feeling his abs before moving up to pinch his nipple and Chan whimpered as he thrusted against him, wanting to feel more. He tried to unbutton Minho’s shirt impatiently, wanting to feel the man’s skin against his hands already. He pulled it off and unbuckled Minho’s belt with one hand, throwing it to the ground.

Chan then jumped on Minho, wrapping his legs around him as Minho’s hands went to grip on his ass, holding him securely.

“So…” Chan whispered, as he stared down into Minho’s dark irises. “Tell Channie what your last birthday gift is, _hyung.”_ He moaned sensually and was proud of himself as he felt Minho tremble with arousal.

“I am going to make Channie cum multiple times tonight.” Minho growled, as he carried Chan to their bedroom, kicking it open before shoving Chan against the wall, supporting his weight with his strong thighs, and attacking the older man’s neck, biting them, and marking it red.

Chan wrapped his arms around Minho’s neck as he moaned, “Hyung…I need more.”

Minho spun around, holding Chan in his arms before throwing him lightly on the bed and clambering on it, hovering over him. He quickly undressed the older man, stripping him naked. Chan then switched their positions, settling on his knees in between Minho’s thighs.

“I need to thank you for making this the best birthday _ever_.” Chan whispered and he pulled off Minho’s pants along with his briefs, freeing his erection.

Minho let out a sharp gasp as Chan leaned forward, taking in his member past his full and plump lips without any warning, bobbing his head up and down. He moaned out loud as Chan took him to the hilt with each fall, tonguing his slit each time he paused, swirling and teasing the sensitive head.

Minho shuddered underneath him as Chan pressed his tongue firmly against his member, slurping it and hollowing his cheeks as he went down on him again. His hands moved to grip on Chan’s hair, tugging hard at his dark strands as Chan hissed in pain around his dick, sending vibrations up his body.

Chan had gifted lips, Minho thought to himself, wondering once again how the man was this good at giving blow jobs. Chan peeked up at him innocently as he continued to suck his dick, his hands caressing his balls, and Minho started thrusting his hips up into his tight mouth, feeling his member hit the back of Chan’s throat.

Minho soon felt a coiling in his stomach and stopped his thrusts. “Chan I am going to come.” He moaned weakly as the older man looked at him in confusion.

They held eye contact as Chan, slowly went down on his member again, his perfect lips wrapped tight around his cock, and hummed around it and Minho could not hold it in any longer as he came with a scream of Chan’s name.

He watched as the older man calmly swallowed around him, savouring every last drop of his cum, looking up at him with intense eyes. Minho lets go of Chan’s hair, which was sticking up haphazardly, wiping the sweat from his brow.

“I was supposed to make _you_ feel good, baby boy.” Minho groaned as he tried to catch his breath.

“This is my thank you gift, and also, this made me feel good.” Chan said, giggling as he started stroking Minho’s limp member and the younger man could feel all the blood rush down, feeling himself get hard again.

“My turn now.” He growled, as he bit lightly on Chan’s earlobe, slamming him back into the bed, spreading Chan’s thighs apart, grinding against him. He moved down, leaving marks everywhere on his body, kissing the freckles that were scattered over Chan's stomach.

"God, you are so beautiful." Minho groaned as he reached over to the bedside table, taking the lube out as Chan whined, wanting him to come back. “Be patient, baby.” Minho chided as he poured the lube over his fingers and inserted them inside, the older man rocking against his fingers.

Minho took his time, stretching the man out, admiring the soft mewls the man let out as he curled his fingers and hit his prostate, he watched Chan’s hole swallow up his fingers, watched it throb, pink and dripping in anticipation before he removed his fingers and started stroking his member before sliding into him slowly.

Minho waited until he was fully sheathed in before pulling out completely and thrusting in sharply again, making the older man gasp mutely. Minho lifted the man’s milky white thighs, hooking it over his shoulder, his ankles knocking against his neck and the angle suddenly shifted, allowing Minho to slide in even further, more deeper and Chan started purring lewdly at the pleasure.

“Omg, _Minho._ Fuck. _So good.”_ Chan moaned, screaming when Minho pulled out and thrusted into him deeper, hitting him straight at his sweet spot, building up a steady pace.

“Go…faster.” Chan whined, thrusting his hips up to meet him but Minho held on to him, still going slow, wanting Chan to feel each and every thrust.

Chan dug his nails on to Minho’s back, holding on to him as the pleasure kept building up slowly and the younger man suddenly quickened his pace. Pulling out and slamming into Chan, who let out a yelp of surprise. Minho sped up, hammering into Chan’s tight hole, slamming the man against the headboard as it banged out a feverish staccato against the wall.

Minho twisted Chan’s body around, letting one thigh fall to the bed and bending the other one back as he continued pounding into him ruthlessly, knowing the man was about to reach his orgasm just by looking at his expression. And Chan came on to Minho’s stomach, with the loudest moan of the night.

The tight heat of Chan’s walls embraced him, and Minho could not control himself as he came soon after. He pulled out slowly, giving sometime so they could catch their breaths before Minho flipped Chan over on to his stomach, pulling his ass up and spreading his cheeks before he inserted his fingers in, watching as the cum trickled out of his hole.

“Minho…” Chan moaned, looked so fucked out, so delirious with pleasure and Minho wanted to ravish him over and over again, unable to believe he was this lucky to get a man like Chan in his life.

“I am not done with you.” Minho panted, lying beside him on the bed. Chan giggled, as he sat up on the bed, clambering onto Minho’s lap.

“I am not done with you either.” He breathed as he started rolling his hips against Minho’s member, hand reaching out to stroke it and he felt it become hard again.

Chan then lifted himself up, sliding Minho’s dick into him, letting out a shaky breath as he sat down slowly, impaling himself and quaking at the fullness.

Minho sat up, holding Chan in his arms, cocking his head back at the delicious tight heat enveloping around him and it took all of his self control to stop himself from instantly thrusting into him.

“M-Minho.” Chan quivered, as he moaned lavishly, feeling a dizzying pleasure all over his skin, his hole feeling already too sensitive as Minho gripped Chan's hips, slowly pulling him up and shoving him back down on his member.

“Fuck, Minho.” Chan shouted as he threw his head back, eyes rolling in his head and bottom lip tugged between his teeth and he tried to keep his balance by holding onto Minho.

Chan rose up, until only the head of Minho's cock was inside him, staring down at Minho as he dropped down, impaling himself again, eliciting a sharp gasp from the younger man. Chan then started bouncing on Minho’s lap faster, and he moaned his boyfriend’s name out as loud as he can. 

Chan continued lifting himself up, slamming down on the younger man’s member, loving how it throbbed in his hole and brushed against his overstimulated walls, until Minho’s breathes became raspier, feeling his climax hit as he released into Chan once again, filling him up with warm liquid the same time as Chan came, white spilling onto Minho’s stomach.

Minho lied back on the bed, pulling Chan with him, too tired to pull out his limp member from Chan’s hole as he attempted to catch his breath.

After some time, Minho finally pulled out, and took a minute to admire his lover. The way his dark hair fell into his eyes messily, some strands sticking up in different directions. His cute nose and full, curved lips that he loved kissing. The way his dimple kept appearing with a tiny smile, and his sexy body with toned abs and freckles and wide shoulders. The way his chest rose up and down with every breath. Everything about Chan screamed perfection. He was ethereal.

“You’re staring.” Chan huffed, covering his face with his delicate hands, embarrassed.

Minho chuckled before leaving butterfly kisses all over his face. “That is because, you are the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life.”

“It is because you haven’t seen that many men before.” Chan groaned, a crimson flush creeping over his face.

“No… I have seen them, but no one could catch my attention like you my precious baby boy.” Minho sighed, kissing him on his lips, before bringing him in close into a hug.

They stayed like that, merely basking in the afterglow of one another, letting their breathing even out before moving to the bathtub where Minho said he would help wash and clean him up but he couldn’t control himself and ended up ravishing him and thrusting into him until Chan came once again, screaming out so loud that Minho wondered if they would really end up getting kicked out of the apartment.

Once they were done, Minho led Chan back to the bed, removing the covers and throwing them into a corner while he spread new sheets over the bed and jumped on it, dragging Chan with him. They curled together, dead tired and sore but feeling extremely happy and Chan buried his face into Minho’s bare chest, listening to the low hum thrumming of his heart.

“Thank you.” Chan whispered as he felt comfortable in Minho’s arms. “For the surprise and the gifts, all three of them.” He laughed.

“You are always welcome.” Minho said, his voice becoming groggy with sleep. “Thank you for existing, you being born is my greatest gift.”

“I love you, Minho.” Chan hummed peacefully.

“I love you too, baby.” Chan could feel Minho’s smile against his cheek as he pecked him, before tightening his grip around his waist and falling into a content slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was so incredibly cheesy please forgive me and bear with me -  
> but yay for minchan being whipped for each other and finally showing their whippedness  
> and yay for minchan birthday sex  
> AND YAY for minchan living together!  
> also, I hope I don't go to hell for all that smut but bottom chan is just <3 -  
> thank you so much for all the kudos and comments! <3  
> next chapter might be the last chapter??? I am not sure but thank you for all the love and support <3 I really appreciate it, each and every one of you :')))


	25. Chapter 25

When Chan first moved in with the younger man, the first few days were all fun and games, with Minho not being able to keep his hands away from the older man, and Chan enjoying this new change of waking up every day in Minho's arms. After a few weeks passed by, they started having some difficulties and ended up fighting multiple times due to their different mindsets and perspectives. 

_“Why do you even want a bookcase, Chan?”_

_“Because I read? Maybe you should try that one day?”_

_“Why are you bringing_ all _your clothes? You could just wear mine.”_

_“Minho, because every time I end up wearing your clothes you become horny and make me late for work!”_

They were always at loggerheads when it came to arranging certain things around the house. Most of the days were spent with Chan sulking in a corner because Minho would tell him that that he wouldn’t want to change a certain part of the house but it always ended with the younger man caving in and allowing Chan to do whatever he wanted. Minho knew he was truly whipped for the older man and there was nothing he could do about it. 

This fact had even been confirmed by his friends at several occasions.

"You are so fucking whipped." Jeongin muttered once when they were all out at the park, having just bought smoothies from a nearby shop. Chan had been so excited to drink his strawberry smoothie, his eyes sparkling up with happiness and Minho did not realise that he had been watching him with the biggest smile on his face. Well, until Jeongin so rudely pointed it out.

"Shut up Jeongin." Minho grumbled as he turned his gaze elsewhere, knowing that Jeongin was not lying, not even a little bit. Minho was head over heels and truly whipped for the older man.

Nonetheless, they were slowly able to overcome the indifferences between them and settle down together. Minho felt reassured with the fact that whenever he went home late, Chan would always be there, waiting for him. He enjoyed how Chan would pull him by the tie as soon as he set foot in the house, kissing him hard and impatient, indirectly saying that he missed him. 

Minho loved dropping Chan at his workplace and enjoyed the way the older man would cutely turn back once in a while to smile and wave at him as he paced away up the stairs.

But what Minho loved the most was sleeping with Chan wrapped tightly in his embrace. Minho loved brushing aside his boyfriend's hair every night, loved basking in his feather like exhales and sighing in happiness. Loved how Chan's bright eyes reminded him of the way the ocean shimmered under the moonlight, loved how Chan always smelled like _home,_ how Chan showed him what _home_ actually meant. Minho still feared that one day he might end up breaking the other man again, that maybe he was not worthy to hold his hand but Chan always made him feel like he was more than worthy. Minho was used to waking up to coldness and untouched linens but now, he found himself opening his eyes to see a peaceful face, sunlight shining on his features, making him look more ethereal than he already was. Minho would find himself staring at the man, memorising every detail and hoping that it was not a dream. He would watch dreamily as Chan would flutter open his eyes, his lashes long and curled prettily, melting into a beautiful smile once his eyes landed on him, and Minho would find his heart racing rapidly, leaving him breathless. 

This was what he wanted, he _needed_ and Minho would indeed agree once again that he was the luckiest man in the world.

Chan got to meet Minho’s father eventually, and the father did not look like he completely approved of Minho’s choices, but he was trying to and that still meant a lot. It was awkward at first, when they had met for dinner and Minho had introduced them to each other. It was silent for the first half, Chan not knowing how to talk to the parent of someone who had been fucking him for a long time before they became boyfriends. He never dated anyone let alone move in with them or meet their parents. However, Minho’s father started talking and initiating conversations after a while, and Chan felt himself loosen up, even cracking a few jokes here and there and resulting in making the older man laugh. 

Chan had brought Minho over to meet his parents when they came from Australia to visit and Minho managed to capture a permanent spot in the hearts of Chan's parents, mostly his mother, who had spent a whole five minutes, inspecting Minho up close with her hands on his shoulders, looking him over and nodding in approval over at Chan.

“He is more handsome than the photos you had sent me.” She had said and Minho turned a deep red which Chan found extremely endearing.

“He really is.” Chan sighed, laughing softly when Minho cleared his throat, flattered with the compliments, mumbling a quick but humble thanks.

Chan’s parents were funny, and kind-hearted and Minho found it easy to talk to them. They had a habit of spoiling people with too much love, and it was fun to watch his parents fussing over Minho, and making the man eat the feast they had cooked specially for him.

Chan watched as his boyfriend bonded with his mother, laughing over his baby photos, and joining forces in teasing him. He knew that it must have been hard for Minho as he grew up without a mother figure in his life but watching him interact comfortably with his mom made Chan’s heart warm up contently.

“Chan was the cutest baby ever.” His mom had said, pointing at a picture of Chan when he was a baby, “I don’t know what happened to him now.” She teased.

“He has become the cutest man ever now.” Minho replied instantly and a bright red flush creeped down Chan’s neck as his parents guffawed and turned to look at him in amusement, and Chan could feel his ears burning and knew they were probably crimson red thanks to the younger man.

* * *

The days turned into weeks that faded into months, and it was already going to be a year since Minho and Chan started dating. It was way too late in the night, but Chan couldn’t sleep as he wanted to make this one-year anniversary special for his lover. He was thinking about how everyone gets scared. No matter how great they are, there will always be some things that will make them feel smaller than everyone else. Chan knew that with Minho, even though the man was trying so hard and had definitely improved, there would always be times where he would be thrown back into the loop of loneliness and the fear of being left alone. No matter how many times Chan said he loved him, it would not be enough to overcome the deepest crack that was left during Minho’s childhood, a wound that had been open for way too long.

Chan was always better at expressing himself through words and music, through his songs, so as the thoughts flooded his mind, he untangled himself from Minho’s arms in bed, and went out to the hall with his laptop, sitting at the dining table and typing away. At first, he struggled to write down what he actually felt for the man, he loved Minho and would always love him, that was a fact, but it was _more_ than that. He wanted to do something that could put Minho’s thoughts at ease, that would make him truly believe in him. He wanted to heal him and wanted Minho to _hear_ and _feel_ his thoughts.

Chan spent two nights working on it, hardly sleeping as he battled with his thoughts and struggled with interpreting them into words that could make sense. It was also hard to keep it a secret from someone who lived in the same house and shared the same bed.

Minho had walked in once, heading towards the kitchen to make some hot tea for them both, “Channie…You don’t look like you are sleeping well.” He stated as he set the cup of tea in front of him before plopping onto a seat across from him.

Chan had to minimise the file he had been typing away on, and replied casually, “I have to produce a whole album within this week, so I am a bit busy.”

Minho stared at him, worry lining his features as he nodded, “You always get up in the middle of the night and leave…you need to get the proper hours of sleep baby.”

“And I will.” Chan said as he closed his laptop and headed off to the bathroom to get ready for work.

Minho dropped him off at work and Chan rushed off to the music room where he knew there was a piano. He sat at the piano, cracking his fingers as he started playing the chords slowly, testing them out. Trying to set the proper appropriate music and atmosphere to the lyrics he had written was hard and Chan needed this to be nothing but perfect.

When Minho came by his workplace to pick him up, Chan staggered down the steps and could hardly keep his eyes open in the drive back home, feeling them droop close and allowed the sleep to wash over him as he leaned against the comfortable seat of Minho’s Mercedes.

Gentle nudges and a warm hand on his cheek slowly roused Chan from his sleep, coaxing his eyes open to see Minho looking at him with endearment.

“Hello sleepyhead, we reached.”

Chan blinked blearily, looking around him and noticing they were in the parking lot already. He can’t believe he had fallen asleep instead of talking to his boyfriend and he rubbed his eyes sheepishly.

“Sorry for falling asleep.” Chan said dazed.

Minho laughed softly at that, “Are you seriously apologising for this? You really need to sleep Channie.” He said, looking at him, worry lining his tone, “When was the last time you even slept?”

Chan stifled a yawn, as he opened the car door. “I am fine Minho, stop worrying.”

As they stood next to each other in the elevator, Chan nestled into Minho’s side, embracing the warmth, feeling his eyes drift close again. He felt Minho’s arms around him, holding him closely as they headed off to his door. Minho guided Chan to the bed, removing his shirt and pants, and lying him down gently.

“Sleep Channie. You can work later.” Minho whispered as he tucked him under the covers, kissing his forehead before leaving. Chan still had to finish his work, but Minho was right. He needed to sleep, and the fatigue finally overpowered him.

When Chan entered the studio the next day, a burst of inspiration hit him, and he cheered in jubilance as he finally completed setting the music. Now all that was left was to record him singing, pouring out all his emotions and he could _finally_ gift this to Minho.

It was going to be one year. A whole year since Chan said he loved him too back at the park. A year since Minho asked Chan to be his boyfriend. A lot had happened since then, from them being there for each other to actually moving together and learning to adjust with each other. If someone told Minho that he would actually be in love with someone, spending all his time with someone special, he would have laughed. Minho was nervous about the day, he had to make it special for Chan, he wanted the man to know just how much he loves him, and how important Chan was to him. It was going to be a year and Minho was going to take Chan out and give him the bestest weekend ever. He knew how Chan preferred things that had a story behind them more than expensive things and he had a weekend trip planned out for him but was nervous and hoped Chan would love it. They were set to leave the day before their anniversary, spend the night at the place Minho had chosen and then leave the next day.

When the day of the trip arrived, Minho woke up at the crack of dawn, heading to the kitchen to cook and bake. He knew Chan loved cookies and home-made food more than anything else and he started working on them. The sight of Chan wobbling out of the bedroom, eyes scrunched up, scratching his head, his hair sticking up more and making it even messier than it was, made Minho’s heart melt. A year had passed and no matter how cheesy it sounded; Minho knew he could never get over this sight.

“Good morning, baby.” Minho chuckled as Chan came waddling to him, wrapping his arms around him without a sound and sighing in pleasure.

“Why weren’t you in bed.” Chan complained, nuzzling his nose into Minho’s chest, holding him closer.

“I am busy making you cookies.” Minho laughed, hugging his boyfriend back, feeling his heart flutter at how clingy and cute the older man was being.

“You are the best Minho.” Chan sighed after a while, breaking away from the hug. “Don’t get the cookies burnt, they are important.” He said, his eyes twinkling with bliss as he headed back to the room to get ready.

After Chan finished showering, he looked through the large closet to find something appropriate to wear. He found the white shirt Felix had bought for his birthday, which was stored away in a corner, almost forgotten and Chan packed it into his bag, in case it might come in handy. Minho had told him to wear something casual, and he wondered where they were going. Chan had also packed his laptop and speakers, his heart thudding nervously against his chest, wondering if Minho would love it.

It was as if they were on an adventure, Chan sitting in the passenger seat, fiddling with the radio station until he finally found a song they both enjoyed. Lately they both had been busy and weren’t able to spend much time with each other, so this was a treat for them. Minho had packed snacks for the trip which Chan was grateful for, as he munched on them and fed some to his boyfriend. They finally reached the destination and it took Chan a few minutes to absorb the whole environment in. It was a large chalet by the beach, which looked extremely beautiful, knocking his breath away. Chan stared in awe at the clear blue water splashing along the shore behind the chalet and at the clear skies and felt his heart thrumming against his chest. This was so _beautiful_ and god it was so _romantic_ as Minho opened the doors with his key, allowing Chan to enter first, his mouth dropping open even more as he saw fairy lights hanging along the walls and the ceiling as soon as he took foot inside . The bedroom was huge and magnificent, and it had rose petals on the bed and oh god there was a huge jacuzzi tub in the bathroom too, memories of the time they spent in the tub back in Seungmin’s guesthouse flashing through his mind and making him flush red.

Minho probably sensed it and hugged him from the back, “We will get to that later, baby.” He whispered and Chan didn’t think it was possible to get even more flustered than he is.

He turned around and laid a quick peck on Minho’s lips. “This is beautiful, Minho.” He sighed happily.

“Wait until you see the beach.” Minho chuckled as he dragged Chan out by his hand, stopping to pick up the bag with the food and cookies and leaving to the beach at the back.

There was just something about beaches that had the ability of giving Chan an instant boost of serotonin and he giggled happily as he felt the sand melt against his feet.

Chan noticed that it was really quiet, not even a single person in sight for miles, and as Minho placed blankets onto the sand before setting the food down, Chan cleared his throat before asking, “How come there is no one here?”

Minho tuned to look at him before sitting down, patting at the empty space near him for Chan to join.

“I might or might not have rented this whole area out for the weekend.” Minho finally said sheepishly, scratching at his neck.

Chan couldn’t believe his ears at first, that Minho was actually being serious. Renting a chalet was different but the whole beach? He knew that Minho was filthy rich, but somehow he would forget it at times as the man was way too humble and never showed it out.

“Minho…you shouldn’t have…” Chan said softly.

“I wanted to.” Minho answered determined. “Just you and me…having this whole place to ourselves isn’t it beautiful?” He sighed, as he laid back on his arms, admiring the way the waves were splashing at the shore.

It _was_ _beautiful_ and it was _intimate_ and Chan did prefer this.

“Indeed, it is.” Chan finally caved, smiling brightly at his boyfriend before opening the cookies container. “I have been dying to try these since the morning.” He said as he popped one into his mouth, humming in pleasure as the cookie melted in his mouth filling it with sugary delicious goodness. “Minho this is soo good, you are the best.” Chan declared as he took another cookie out, popping it into his mouth quickly.

“Don’t you want to go put your feet in the water?” Minho asked, watching Chan munch on the biscuits with a smile on his face.

“Will you come with me?” Chan asked him, looking at him eagerly and smiling brightly when Minho nodded. The younger man then got up, stretching his arms before pulling Chan up to his feet.

The sea splashed against the shore, water shooting upwards against the sea breeze. The tides crashed deafeningly and the ripples climbed up hastily, grappling for Chan’s feet as the boy squealed in delight. Chan had often dreamt about the ocean, it was his second most favourite place on Earth and he had told this to Minho before.

 _"What is your first favourite place on Earth then?"_ Minho had asked that day.

 _"Your arms. Being in your arms, is my most favourite place."_ Chan had answered, cringing slightly as he realised how corny it sounded. Minho had been taken aback that day, and had looked extremely touched and grateful.

They started walking along the beach, mostly in a comfortable silence, Minho rubbing his thumb over Chan’s as they held hands, bumping into each other’s sides as the sand shifted under their bare feet. Chan enjoyed the feeling of wet sand beneath his feet as well as the cold waves washing up to their knees.The sun had started to set, and Chan stopped in his tracks, staring at the beautiful scenery, impressed and in awe. Minho stood tall next to Chan, throwing an arm around the older man’s shoulder.

“Did you ever think we would be standing here like this one day? Celebrating an anniversary?” Chan uttered, turning his head to look at his boyfriend who just smiled as he buried his head into the nape of Chan’s neck.

“No.” Minho breathed, smiling against Chan’s neck, “But I love it.”

With that Minho dragged Chan further into the sea, guffawing obnoxiously and getting fully drenched in the process as Chan yelped.

Minho turned Chan around to face him, kissing him gently as Chan wound his arms around his neck. They were waist deep in the water and they were rising up with every wave that passed through them. The sun was slowly setting behind them, casting a pinkish glow upon the duo and this was already turning out to be the bestest day of Chan’s life.

Chan broke away from the kiss with a chuckle and splashed the salty water onto the younger man who flinched, stilling for a moment before pulling Chan close to him, lifting him off his feet into his arms and proceeding to throw him into the water. He watched with a satisfied smirk as the older man came back to the surface, spluttering for air, and rubbing his eyes, wiping the water away.

“I hate you, Minho.” Chan grumbled, sleeking his wet hair back, grimacing as his eyes burnt from the saltiness in the water.

“I love you.” Minho sniggered, grabbing onto Chan’s hand, pulling him close to kiss the breath out of him. Chan made a surprised noise but his body reacted immediately, melting into Minho's embrace and feeling his lips fit against the younger man's so perfectly. His hands moved up to fist in Minho's wet shirt that was clinging to his body, and he let out a soft moan as Minho deepened the kiss, his hand caressing Chan's cheek gently and tilting his head back for a better angle as Minho bit gently on Chan's lip, licking into his mouth once the permission was granted. They broke away from the kiss when they realised the sun had gone down and they should be getting back before they caught a cold.

They made it back to the shore and Chan felt the weight of his wet clothes dragging him down. So, he pulled off the shirt clinging onto him and threw it onto the floor before plopping onto the mat. Minho followed suit, sitting next to Chan.

“You know how I told you I rented this whole area.” Minho said after a few minutes and Chan hummed in reply. “That means we could do anything we want, and no one is here to witness it.” He chuckled, throwing a sideways glance at his boyfriend. “If you know what I mean…”

Chan felt the warm flush of heat creeping along his neck, and he punched Minho lightly on his arm. “Are you serious? Right here?”

“I was joking. Worth a try, right?” Minho chuckled.

A sharp glint appeared in Chan’s eye, a coy smile tugging at his lips. Minho was not prepared at all, he did not expect the older man to suddenly straddle his lap, grinding his ass into Minho’s crotch, the wetness of the fabric providing more friction. A moan dragged itself out of Minho’s mouth as he placed his arms on Chan’s bare waist, trying to steady him, to stop him from grinding and making him cum right there.

“What are you doing, Channie?” Minho gasped in pleasure, as Chan grinded against him again.

“Nothing.” Chan replied innocently and Minho couldn’t hold back any longer.

Minho flipped them around, now hovering over Chan, and rolling his hips against him, holding his eyes with so much intensity that sent flames erupting in Chan’s stomach. He pulled Chan’s shorts off, along with his briefs, and did the same for himself.

“You really are a little minx aren’t you.” Minho groaned, now naked, as he bit hard on Chan’s clavicle, licking around the skin, tasting the salty water of the beach mingled with the taste of Chan.

Chan thrusted up, and Minho’s breath shattered as their erections brushed against each other, every nerve ending feeling like a live wire at this moment.

Minho watched as Chan held onto his hand and directed his fingers into his mouth, sucking on to them so that the younger man could prep him quickly. Minho pulled his fingers out of Chan’s mouth and inserted them, one by one into his hole, curling them and feeling him inside out as the older man muffled back a feeble whimper. Due to the silence of their surroundings, Chan could hear Minho’s heartbeat and the rhythm of his breaths and it was so calming. His toes curled and he gasped as he felt Minho pushing in slowly. Chan could feel the grainy and coarse texture of the sand through the thin material of the blanket as his back rubbed against it with every thrust. The way Minho was staring down at him was overwhelming and Chan suddenly felt the tears welling up in his eyes as he felt his heart about to burst with the overload of love he had for the other man.

It was Minho and it would always be Minho. It was strange how they started off with nothing but a one-night stand, no hopes of ever meeting again. They didn’t plan on falling for each other, it was an unplanned falling alright and here they were, having sex, no, _making love,_ on the beach. Just that phrase would have made Chan threw up a year back but now…he could say proudly that they were indeed making love.

Minho could sense Chan becoming emotional and joined their lips together fervently and the older man sighed against his lips, running his hands up his bare chest and shoulders before curling his fingers into Minho's hair. Chan wrapped his legs around Minho’s waist, each and every thrust had his hands weakly clenching around the long-overgrown strands of Minho’s hair.

"You are so _beautiful."_ Minho exhaled slowly, brushing back Chan's bangs that had fallen onto his eyes messily and loved the way a deep red flush ran across his cheeks. "I can't believe you are mine." He whispered as he pulled out and thrusted in again, the older man letting out a shuddering gasp as he felt the bundle of nerves being grazed.

"Minho..." Chan whispered, clenching around Minho's length, whimpering as his boyfriend kissed along the line of his neck. Minho was moving his hips in a steady motion, pulling out until just the tip stayed inside Chan and then pushing in all the way, stretching Chan's legs back a little further. He felt Chan's hold on his hair grow tighter and knew the man was reaching his orgasm soon. He looked down at his lover, holding back a growl as the sight of how aroused and flushed Chan looked and loved the way the man arched his back off the mat.

Chan was now moaning his name out repetitively, his voice breaking at the intense pleasure that was surrounding him and Minho lifted the older man's legs over his shoulders and started thrusting into Chan's heat harder and _excruciatingly slow._

With a few more thrusts, Chan spilled white onto Minho’s stomach with a loud moan of his name, white bursting behind his eyelids as he pulled on Minho's hair sharply and clenched tightly around the younger man’s member causing it to pulse inside of him and release into him, thick and warm.

“I love you.” Chan sighed, holding Minho tight in his embrace, whimpering when Minho laid his legs down on the mat gently, and shuddering as the man pulled his cock out of him, rubbing against his sensitive walls.

Minho kissed Chan on his cheek, “I love you so much.”

The two held each other close as they lied on the mat on the beach, relaxing after their intense highs.

It was getting too cold to be outside and Chan felt too sticky, so they headed back into their chalet, taking a long bath in their jacuzzi before dressing up in comfortable clothes and taking a seat on the large bed.

Chan watched the clock as the minutes ticked by. It was going to be midnight soon and he was beginning to get nervous, his heart starting to beat a rapid tempo that he couldn’t keep up with, wanting to just ditch the whole gift.

Minho noticed it, already an expert at reading Chan. “Chan are you okay?”

The tension in the room mounted as Minho caught Chan’s eyes. Chan had laid out his heart on this song. “Minho…” Chan breathed, his breath hitching as he pondered over what to say.

Chan shifted his eyes, still rethinking about the whole idea, sighing after a while, “I actually have something for you.” He finally said.

Minho looked at him, puzzled, placing a hand on his gently, “What is it Channie?”

Chan swallowed nervously, getting up and going towards his bag, removing his laptop and speakers before taking a seat back on the bed. He could sense Minho looking at him in confusion as Chan opened up the file, connecting the speakers to his laptop.

Chan turned to face Minho, “This is my gift for you, it is probably nothing much and not even good but I tried to portray all my genuine feelings for you into this because Minho, you deserve nothing but the best.” Chan then looked up at the clock, it was midnight now. “Happy anniversary Minho.” He said as he clicked on play.

The music filled the room, a crisp harmony resounding from the piano played by Chan, chords meandering lightly through the air and he watched nervously as Minho’s mouth slowly dropped open. Then Chan’s voice started singing, his sweet voice melting into the atmosphere.

_Until I fill You endlessly with love_

_Until I recite You a hundred times like a prayer_

_Remain close to me_

_Don’t say a word about leaving_

_You are my seven musical notes. My Five great elements._

Velvety voice simmered in beautifully with the lyrics, and Minho’s fingers curled, as he listened intently, feeling his chest tighten with each word. Chan’s voice was filled with so many emotions, the words and the emotional rasp in his raised voice was squeezing tightly around Minho’s heart.

_I've opened up, unsure I can trust_

_My heart and I were buried in dust_

_I found a man I can trust_

_And boy, I believe in us_

_You and I… lost into each other’s eyes,_

_Let’s live your life at the horizon together._

Chan’s voice was shuddering with a heartfelt intensity as he sang the words, every syllable of his notes reverberating beautifully, the music resonating in the room.

_Even if you get lost and lonely for a moment,_

_Listen to my small breath, my voice,_

_If you call me, I’ll find you wherever you are._

_I promised to hold you even more warmly,_

_And protect you._  
  


_In this beautiful place_  
_All of the memories of loving you_  
_Will become a story that never ends and shine forever._

Chan’s voice slowly faded away, the silence bleeding out, leaving nothing by the echoes of his heartfelt words. The room went quiet, both of their breaths held as the tension buzzed around them. Chan bit down hard on his lips, wondering if Minho liked it. He observed his boyfriend’s face closely, Minho looked dazed, lost in a trance, his fingers trembling as the words submerged into his mind. The older man watched as Minho’s face slowly crumpled, tears suddenly welling up in his eyes, streaking down his cheeks as he hastily tried to wipe them away.

Chan was shocked, “Minho…” He looked at him helplessly as the tears kept flowing like a steady stream. Minho never cried like this before in front of him, yes, he had teared up and had allowed a few tears to fall but this…

“Oh Channie…that was beautiful.” Minho sobbed, his voice laden with heaviness. “I don’t deserve you, I really don’t.”

“Minho…you deserve _more_ than this.” Chan said sincerely, engulfing Minho in a warm hug, rubbing his back gingerly as the younger man buried his face into the crook of Chan’s neck, crying. Chan could feel his own eyes brimming with tears and he tried to wipe them away with his sleeve.

“Channie…no one had shown this much love towards me before….” Minho choked, “You have no idea how much, just how much you mean to me.” His body wrecking with sobs as he pulled away, holding Chan’s hand in his own trembling ones. “I can’t lose you. I will never lose you again. I love you so much, Bang Chan.” He finished, letting out a frail breath, and Chan’s soft hands were on his face, thumbing his cheek with an unthinkable amount of tenderness, wiping away the teardrops spilling over the edge of his jaw, gently. “Why me?” Minho mumbled, looking through his damp eyelashes, wondering for the millionth time how did he get so lucky to have a man like Chan in his life.

“It would always be you.” Chan whispered softly, his throat constricting as he tried to swallow back his tears. “It had always been you.”

Minho looked up, catching Chan’s gaze, and he leaned in, his quivering breath trailing across the older man’s lips, feeling his own heartbeat race, pressing against them gently and melting into the kiss. Minho’s arms twined around Chan’s waist, bringing him in closer, underlying yearning so stark in their touches. Chan’s eyes fluttered close as he arched against Minho, hugging him more tightly.

Minho had never felt this touched before. From being neglected and not taught how to love, he was now in a relationship with someone who just expressed his love for him in the most beautiful way possible. The universe was starting to drip away as fervour brimmed among them. Minho’s touch was always fire burning hot, but it burned sweetly, making Chan’s heart to beg for more. Minho was kissing Chan like his very own breath of oxygen, kissing him desperately pouring in all his feelings, both of them nearly suffocating when they broke apart for air, breathless flushes covering Chan’s face. Their noses were touching, and Minho was whispering “I love you” with each kiss that he kept pressing onto Chan’s lips. They kissed again and again, each kiss just throwing them further into the pit of love they had dug up.

That night when they finally went to sleep, Minho was holding Chan in his embrace tightly like he did for the past year, determined to never _ever_ let him go.

* * *

“Happy anniversary baby.” Minho greeted as Chan woke up. Minho was running his hand through his hair, gently stroking his scalp, watching him with endearment.

Chan smiled at him before sitting up on the bed, “Happy anniversary Minho, what are the plans for today.”

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?” Minho asked.

Chan thought about it for a while before beaming brightly, “Why don’t we go for a long drive?”

Minho flashed a smile at him, showing his pearly whites, “That sounds perfect.”

When Chan was done with his shower, he went through his bag, taking the white shirt that Felix had gotten for him out, wondering why he even brought it with him. The back was sheer and cut and Chan buried his face into the shirt, groaning. Maybe his mind was not thinking straight but he knew how Minho had stared at it hungrily when he received it from Felix and decided to wear it. Chan looked at himself in the mirror and he knew he was paying way too much attention to his dressing and his look today but he wanted to look his best for his boyfriend.

Just as Chan was fluffing up his hair, trying to look presentable, Minho walked out of the shower, toweling his hair dry while another towel was wrapped around his waist. The man stopped in his tracks as he stared at Chan in that shirt, his back on full display for Minho to rake his eyes over it.

"Damn Chan." Minho whistled lowly, gaping at the man and causing goosebumps to erupt all over the older man's skin. "If you wanted to stay in and just have me fuck you all day long, you just had to tell me."

Chan bit his lips, turning around and frowning at Minho. "No, we are going on the long drive, then after that..." He paused for a while, eyes wandering elsewhere before catching Minho's gaze again, "After that...I will let you do anything to me."

Chan could see Minho was trying his best not to get turned on right there and then, inhaling in a sharp intake of breath before slowly exhaling it out. "It is a deal, baby." He finally said, his voice sultry.

They were now in the car, heading towards an unknown destination and Chan understood why Minho considered long drives to be his ideal date. There was something relaxing about sitting next to the person you love, driving without any worries in the mind, just talking, laughing and admiring the scenery outside.

They went to a restaurant, had their lunch before Minho continued driving and Chan gaped in wonder as they drove up a cliff. Soon, Minho pulled the car to a stop, at the top of a cliff, where they could see the sunset.

Minho got out and Chan followed suit, leaning against the front end of the car and a comfortable silence engulfed them for a while. They were really high up, and could look at the sun going down up closer and the whole thing felt so surreal.

“This place is beautiful.” Chan sighed, throwing Minho a glance.

“It really is.” Minho nodded his head in agreement. “Just like you.”

Chan groaned as he whacked Minho on his arm, “Stop it, you are more beautiful.”

Minho turned and pinned Chan against the car, causing the older man to let out a squeak, “You should see yourself.”

“I could say that to you too, you know.” Chan complained.

Minho smiled as he kissed lightly on Chan’s lips, and the older man suddenly hopped on the car, tugging Minho closer to him with his legs wrapped around his waist and draping his arms around his neck.

Minho kissed the side of Chan’s neck, before placing his arms on his waist and joined their lips together again.

That was when a question suddenly popped in Minho’s mind and he broke away from the kiss, eliciting a tiny whine from Chan.

“Chan… the song you made me listen to all those months back…the one I sent to Younghyun, who was it for?” Minho asked, his heart thumping against his chest as he waited for the answer.

Chan looked surprised at the question, caught off guard, but smiled before pulling Minho in closer by his collar, pressing his lips against his gently.

“It was about a man I fell in love with.” He sighed. “It was the first man I fell for and he made my life _so difficult_.” Chan said in a singsong voice, his lips curving into a teasing smile against his as he pressed another kiss before pulling away.

“I wonder why he did that.” Minho whispered, holding on to Chan, not wanting to let go of him.

“He was scared, but you know what?” Chan giggled as Minho tried to chase after his lips with his. “I think he fell in love with me _waaayy_ before I did, but he was so blind.” Chan said as Minho finally managed to catch his lips in a kiss that knocked his breath away. They had kissed so many times by now, but Chan would never get bored of the way Minho’s lips felt against his, always so soft and plump and fitting against his so perfectly.

“Do you still love him?” Minho asked, as he broke away from the kiss, resting his forehead on Chan’s.

“Hmmm.” Chan hummed as he feigned ignorance. “Maybe?” Chan shrieked as Minho pinched him on his side, bursting out in laughter. “Okay, I am still in love with him.”

“Well…what happened to him then?” Minho questioned, his lips hovering over Chan’s.

“He is standing here with me, kissing me like there is no tomorrow.” Chan said slowly, locking his gaze with Minho’s and he saw the flicker of emotions going through Minho’s eyes.

“Only fools fall for me, Chan.” Minho whispered.

“Then maybe I am a fool.” Chan smiled.

Back in the day, before they had confessed to each other, there was always an emotion that was lingering in Minho's eyes, alongside confusion and fear which were the most prominent. Chan could never tell what that unspoken emotion was but he had figured it out. 

It was love.

Minho joined his lips with Chan again, kissing him hard, deepening the kiss, sucking on his bottom lip, colouring them red before moving to press a kiss against his forehead.

“Thank you, Chan.”

“Why are you even thanking me for you idiot.” Chan laughed softly, the sound being music to Minho’s ears.

“For making me believe I can fall in love and be loved. For healing me slowly and reducing the cracks in my broken self into faded scars.” Minho sighed, lifting Chan's hand up gently and kissing the customised bracelet that was clasped around his wrist, the one he had bought for the man's birthday, before laying a kiss on each and every one of fingers. "For always being here for me and for changing my life in the most beautiful way possible." Minho sighed as he leaned closer to kiss those swollen lips he had grown to love over the year.

They had been two lost men, finding each other unexpectedly when they weren’t in a good place, being thrown into something they didn’t understand, hurting each other in the process but growing from it, becoming better people and better for each other. Learning how to communicate, learning how to overcome their fears slowly, being there for each other and always there to pick the other up from the ground whenever they fell. Learning what love actually meant, and feeling the emotion so deeply. They had come a long way, from that unplanned encounter at the club to _now_ , this moment, where Minho was kissing him so softly, not for the last time, making the butterflies flutter in Chan’s stomach, just like how he always used to do.

There was one man Chan wanted to spend the entirety of his life with and that was Minho. 

“You really are _the one_ , Lee Minho.” Chan smiled against his lips, melting into his embrace, the familiar scent of the younger man soothing him just like it always did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhhhhhhh so finally, this journey comes to an end here and I don't know where to begin?? First of all, when I started this, it was supposed to be only around 30k words but...now... and this wouldn't be possible without the comments and all the motivation everyone had given me. I can not believe that this monster of a fic had finally come to an end, I will definitely miss it so much :( *sad cries*  
> This journey of Minchan from strangers to friends to fuck buddies to lovers was a very long, tiring but a very pleasurable one <3  
> ok so first yay Chan composed another song just for Minho and some of the lyrics were just spewn from different songs and the last part was neverending story by skz which is the most beautiful song to ever exist.  
> This was my first chaptered fic and I hope I did some justice to it. I am so glad it was Minchan :'). This fic was definitely not perfect but I will improve myself and I hope the end was satisying. The world needs more minchan and I really hope I can continue to deliver fics and contribute more to the minchan world and I hope I wont disappoint any of you!  
> there will be an epilogue though and maybe an one shot for the side ships but it might take some time, and won't be up anytime soon :(.  
> A hugeeee thanks to those who were reading this from the time the first chapter was posted, as there were many times I wanted to give up but kept going because of you all and a big thanks to all those who started reading it whenever they could, and those who commented or gave kudos or even read it silently...I hope you all enjoyed it :') and seriously, thanks to each and every one of you who read it!!!  
> Honestly I didn't expect to cross 100 kudos but now I saw it crossed 300 kudos and that is like more than enough to make me happy :'D  
> A huge thanks to @channiefanatic who literally had been here since the first chapter and was legit the reason why I even started writing hahaha <3 and thanks to her and @wngpxppy for allowing me to rant about writers block and kept giving me motivation and touched my heart several times :(( and for not letting me give up!  
> And the mcw gc for giving me assurance and support whenever I put myself down <3  
> Anyways, I thought a lot about it and I finally decided to drop my twitter here so if anyone is interested in crying over Minchan, I am available 24/7 :') it is [@dimpleechan](https://twitter.com/dimpleechan)  
> if you ever want to discuss this fic more or have some confusions or just want to talk minchan in general...come to me uwu <3  
> Hope to see you there until I am back here with more Minchan :')  
> thank you once again, love you all <3 all your comments and thoughts are appreciated <3


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